A/N: This story has been begging me to be posted for a while now, and since I've written three chapters for the There's Something About Yui I think it's only fair to give this one a chance. This is also unrelated to that one.
Thanks to Kaisaeren, OmegaEleven and Pewdepew for their compliments, opinions and encouragement on this. You guys are truly awesome, thank you!
Disclaimer: I don't own Oregairu.
She had once mentioned before that she would wait for the person to come into their own terms and approach her once they had decided that they were ready to open up to her. She wanted to wait for them, to let them take their time since she knew it was difficult to do so, and she respected their decision on the matter.
However, she had also stated that she would not wait forever, that one day she would take the first step if ever she felt there would be no movement at all from them.
And so she had contacted him, telling him to meet her outside. He thought it was nothing more but a mistake, a mail sent incorrectly to his address. These things happened all the time, or at least that's what he had heard from the people around him before as he wasn't one to send mails on a regular basis.
However there was a name at the end of the message, his name to be exact, clearing all the doubts left in his head.
It was already night, he sat on a bench at the place they had agreed upon to meet up at. The lampposts dimly shining their faint light were barely any help to see anything afar with the darkness that loomed over the city, and the snow only served to complicate things even further.
He had been waiting at his spot for ten, twenty minutes now. His eyes glanced impatiently at the time on his phone, the expression on his face betraying the nervousness that was boiling within, impatience slowly gnawing at his every fiber and it shook him to the core.
What could have been a good reason to call him out at such a time? Why couldn't it have waited for tomorrow? With the urgency of the matter to be addressed at the soonest, he had a couple of hunches in his mind. Some were good, others bad, a select few he could not tell whether how he should feel about.
His foot tapped subconsciously as the ideas went through his mind, using logic he began to rule them out one-by-one in an attempt to pass time.
Another ten minutes had passed and he was now unable to think clearly. He wanted to go home, tell her that they can talk it over tomorrow at school, get some rest that he knew was impossible as the suspense of what the next day held would rob him of any sleep.
Just as he was about to give up, he heard what seemed to be the snow crunching underneath the footsteps of someone in a rush. He stood up and looked around, squinting his eyes he saw a girl running up to him as fast as she could, as if her life depended on it. Once she reached him her knees were trembling, her labored breathing puffing into white smoke at touching the cold air. Beads of sweat streamed down her face, only to be replaced by new ones forming on her forehead.
Giving her time to recover after the evening sprint, he patted the spot next to him for her to take a seat. He too offered his handkerchief (thankfully he had brought one with him), which she gladly accepted before shyly turning away to fix herself. Even if it were to be the end of the world, it was not an excuse to look the way she did.
He had never felt this awkward around her before, the mere sight of her left his mind in a daze. Perhaps it was the atmosphere, the serenity of the meeting place that made his heart flutter. Or it could also be the anticipation of what she had in store for him. It could have also been the closeness, this lack of distance between them at the moment that he found unnerving. He dared not move away for it was not only his fault after letting her sit beside him but he also somewhat found it to his liking despite the uneasiness that contradicted it.
They bathed in the silence for a while, the girl finding it was harder than she had originally thought it would be to speak up right now. The plan she retold herself while running, the choice of words she decided to use, the courage she had been gathering to reach this point, they vanished faster than she could react once they met. Her fingers now continued to mindlessly fidget with the piece of cloth he handed to her, a habit that she could not grow out of.
But it was now or never, and she couldn't afford to wait any longer. With a deep breath she turned to face him, steeling herself to say the words she felt would be best to convey personally than through any other medium. She opened her mouth to speak, and with a voice as soft and gentle as the snow around them she uttered:
"I... like you."
Truth be told, he had expected this to be the reason for his summons, but he still could not stop himself from being surprised.
He felt as if his heart had skipped a beat at the moment the words left her lips. He could no longer hold onto his mask of indifference, and as it crumbled away and exposed his true reaction he felt embarrassed, like he had just been seen bare naked.
There was also disbelief. How could she say those things like that, and to him of all people? Had she lost her mind? Was this all a prank? Would she suddenly say, "gotcha!" and point to the hidden cameras around them? He could not find any reason for her to feel this way especially with who he was and how he was like, and that fact hurt him more than he would like to admit.
The girl's eyes seemed to bore holes through him as she stared into his rotten pair, hoping to find any clues through the windows of his soul. She looked expectantly at him, waiting for his response that would ultimately decide if she would be getting any sleep tonight or if she would be bawling her eyes out until daybreak.
"I-I-!" His voiced cracked to a shrill tone unexpectedly. It was a first in quite a while that he had been in such a situation - and to be in the receiving end this time no less - as he had not spoken to a girl to make a confession since that fateful middle school day with Orimoto Kaori. He gulped involuntarily as his throat felt dry, unsure on how to answer back to her.
What should he say to her? Yes? No? What was there to lose in either option? His current state of mind was in a chaos with his logical thinking and desires in conflict, rendering him to look blankly at her, mouth agape and speechless.
Unknown to him was that his lack of response had begun to eat away at the girl since, and soon the thoughts of rejection had already started to flood her mind. Looking down, her lips then curved into a quivering frown. The glint in her eyes became a flow of tears that escaped her hold, rolling down to her chin.
The sight of her broke the boy from his trance and sent him crashing back to reality. It was then that he had the sudden urge to console her, to comfort her to the best of his abilities. It felt only right to do so, almost as if it was in his instincts to cater the woes of a crying girl. Moving on its own, his hand raised up to wipe the stream on her face.
If there ever was a person in the world who was damned to suffering, he knew better it should never be her. Only he was entitled to pain, him and him alone, this he vowed to himself.
He saw her tense at his touch, her eyes grew wide as she looked back at him. Seeing there was at least genuine concern in his facial expression, she put on a small smile and pressed her cheek onto his hand.
So this was how it would go, she thought. She too had convinced herself that this was a possibility but she still found it painful to bear. Another tear was set loose, then another and another, until her face had become a contorted mess of suffering and disappointment. Her shoulders trembled violently as she forced her sobs down quietly, not wanting to get the attention of anyone who might have happened to pass by.
She was weary, both physically and emotionally. Waiting in silence had been exhausting as the entire time her mind would not let her rest properly, endlessly worrying over the worst-case scenarios that tormented her on sleepless nights. It would all come to an end one day, she knew this was inevitable but she wished there was at least-
"I like you too..."
Her breath hitched as his ghastly voice ringed in her ears, the words were almost inaudible as her sobs easily drowned them out. But she heard it, she definitely heard it and the gods be damned if she heard him wrong. She could not be imagining things now of all times, else it would have been a cruel trick of the mind that she may never forgive herself for.
"What... did you say?"
She clenched her hands that held his handkerchief, her nails digging so hard into the fabric that it had begun to hurt. She was holding her breath in anticipation, her gaze cloudy with the tears that she couldn't care less about at the moment.
"I-I said... I like you too." He repeated himself, turning away from the girl in front of him. It was embarrassing enough to say it once, making him say it again was just mental torture.
To say he did not feel anything for her would probably be the next biggest lie he would commit.
He may be the biggest liar amongst everyone, but at least this much was true. Yui was a beautiful, kind girl, one that he wanted to avoid like a plague as they usually brought about ruination to those who fell for their alluring charms, their kindness that disoriented his outlook to the point that he broke his own personal vow.
There was a pause as his response started to sink in, her brain racking to put the pieces together. Once she had finally processed his reply she could not help but cry at his answer once more, though this time it was for a completely different reason.
She tackled him into a hug, almost toppling him over with her bodyweight off of his seat. Burying her face onto his chest she let out everything to him: her happiness, her sadness, her suffering, her truest feelings. She held him in her arms, pulling him as close as she could, never daring to let go in fear of losing him.
She had nearly lost him once, even though he wasn't entirely hers yet at that time. But she swore over her dead body that she would never let something like that happen ever again.
When she had recovered from her outburst she pulled away a bit, never breaking her hold of him. There were many more things that she had always wanted to tell him, things that begged her to reach out to him, but all she could offer right now were her beaming smile along with three more words...
"Thank you, Hikki."
Back at his home Hachiman pondered about it, about how he and Yui were dating now, whether he was a riajuu as well, and how being a boyfriend works.
But the biggest problem was how they would tell Yukino. Sure, she never said anything, but Hachiman wasn't that dense to not notice the blizzard stirring within the Ice Queen, and it certainly had his name on it. Yui was perceptive too, so she knew this just as well as he did.
Texting each other they agreed to tell her about their relationship as soon as possible, as it would not be the wisest decision to hide something major to what they both could call a friend.
And so the next day, classes breezed by and soon Yui and Hachiman stood in front of the door of the club room. The feeling of hesitation was strangling them by the necks, but they were now at a point of no return so Hachiman gathered his strength and slid the door open.
She sat at her usual seat, her eyes moved up from her book and seemed to tell she had been waiting eagerly for them. The scent of tea filled their nostrils and she offered to serve some after greeting them.
However as she turned around with the teapot in hand she was struck with shock as the two now entered the room hand-in-hand, nearly dropping the object she was carrying.
Her eyes darted back and forth between the two, wide in surprise at the sight before her. Hachiman decided to break the ice and settle things once and for all.
"Yuigaha- I mean, Y-Yui..." He corrected himself, as she had instructed him. "S-she and I are-"
"I see." Yukino cut him off before giving them a smile, but he could tell there was pain behind it. He wanted to say more but couldn't find the right words at the moment.
Once more she offered her brewed beverage and they happily accepted, taking their seats as she poured their portions into their respective cups. Yui didn't sit closer to Hachiman, thinking that being the third wheel may cause unwanted discomfort for Yukino.
For an outsider there seemed to be nothing different at all in the room, but for them the changes were evident.
There was a strange tension in the air, as if there was a lingering issue that could not be addressed. None of the three spoke and fiddled with whatever they had in their hands; Yui with her phone and the others with their books.
They were all aware of the elephant in the room, how its eyes shot daggers at them.
The march of time was unbearably slow but move forward it did, and soon they had decided to call it a day and go home. Bidding farewell they left the room, with Hachiman heading out first to give the girls some privacy. As per Yui's request during their conversation last night, she wanted to sort things out between themselves.
The days turned to weeks and it continued on like this, a monotonous cycle of their daily club activities. Once in a while one of their other friends would swing by, usually it was Iroha who did more prodding on the new couple than having any actual business with the club.
Then one day, Yui excused herself from Hachiman saying she needed to catch up with Yumiko and her friends. She told him he should go on ahead and she'll show up a bit later at the club.
So he went there by himself, entered the room and silently took his seat, with neither saying a word for around half an hour save for the greetings they exchanged upon his arrival.
It had been a bad day for her for almost four weeks straight. However he wasn't aware that the pent-up feelings Yukino had were currently in a turmoil, threatening to break through the surface at the lightest stimuli. She was good, too good at hiding such things from the outside world, but Hachiman's eyes could still perceive them and he could no longer pretend that it didn't bother the two of them.
He had stepped on the landmine once he spoke, deciding to break the silence by asking whether she was okay. He had noticed through his peripheral vision that she was clearly in discomfort and was struggling to keep herself together from the slightest differences of her usual appearance. That moment tore away every bar that held back her emotions and her eyes began to tear up.
Unable to take it any longer she confessed everything, from how she had hated him from the start to how she slowly grew to like him, ultimately leading her to question her own feelings for him. She became certain on them once she had met Kaori when Hayato called them over, explaining that Hachiman had made friends that were far better than the two girls from the other school.
She had denied him once as a friend, saying that it could never be since she believed that they were too different to get along. They were like polar opposites, two entities that was impossible to be together.
By the second time she denied him it was because she partly feared that that would be the limit of their relationship. With uncertainty on the matter, her belief inclined more upon the probability that she had desired for something more, thus she had rejected him.
In her outburst she lost control of herself, her mind was in a riot and her vision was blurry. What she remembered was that she had walked towards him, pulling him into a tight embrace and repeatedly saying how much she loved him but couldn't be honest with herself. She was aware of how Yui felt for him, but she was also afraid of being rejected, knowing Hachiman she found that possibility to be highly likely.
Without another word her lips then met his, planting a kiss on him with no room for consent, her eyes closed to limit her active senses and to feel him more. The attack was chaste and probing, clearly inexperienced but wanting and full of emotions.
And it was then that a sliding sound tore through the quiet room. Yukino broke away from him but she was too late, turning to the door she saw Yui with a horrified expression on her face. In her hands was a cake that she had asked her friends to buy for her to celebrate her first month dating with Hachiman, soon finding itself meeting the floor and turning into a mess.
Hachiman was about to speak when Yui suddenly bolted through the door. Yukino saw his dumbfoundedness and shook him by the shoulders, telling him to chase after her. He complied and wasted no time in going after the girl, praying she had not gotten far.
Yui ran as fast as her legs could carry her, the pictures of her short time together with him flashing in her mind.
How she was nervous at telling her friends about them, who at first raised their eyebrows but accepted them in the end nonetheless.
How he offered to walk her home every day, giving them time to chat as they made their way to her house.
How her mom had been in her face on that night she told her about him, telling her how she "knew it all along" and how she "told her so."
How Hachiman ate the bento she prepared for him even if the taste wasn't satisfactory.
How warm she felt whenever they were sitting side by side at his favorite spot.
How the sound of his voice saying her first name made her feel giddy every single time.
Those memories of her were like still images that were shattered by what she had just witnessed, the shards tearing through her heart like a thousand sharp knives. She clutched her chest, feeling the pang intensifying and suffocating her.
Hachiman finally caught up to her just as she was by the school's shoe lockers. He reached out to grab her by the arm, and as he did she spun around and sent her hand across his face without warning.
The loud slap reverberated within the halls, empty as classes had ended earlier.
Yui's sobs were the only sounds left in the area, not yet breaking away from his grasp on her arm. Hachiman still had his head turned to the side from the hit, unable to look at her directly. The stinging sensation on his cheek now began to burn as it swelled to the shape of her hand, but it paled in comparison to the pain he had inflicted on the poor girl before him.
A few minutes later Yukino soon came running towards them, stopping a few steps behind him while taking a breather.
"I'm sorry Yuigahama-san, I-"
"No," Yui interrupted, her voice shaking and cracking. "I'm sorry..." She raised her head to look at Yukino, who was taken aback by the consequences of her actions that now marred her friend's face.
"I trusted you Yukinon... I-I... was wrong."
She then turned to Hachiman who still averted his eyes from her. She pulled her arm away forcefully, and with newfound conviction flaring in her eyes she spoke.
"I regret everything." Despite her declaration being filled with contrition, it harbored no signs of vindication whatsoever.
"Yuigahama-san..."
"From you saving Sablé, meeting Yukinon, being a member of the club... ha-having f-fallen in l-love with y-you...!"
She struggled at the last part, but forced them out even if she had choked on the words. Yukino bit her tongue, seeing that she was nowhere close to listening to her.
Yui rubbed her eyes and turned around, and with her back now facing the two she told them one last line before taking her leave:
"I wish I had never met you."
A/N: And that's it. This has been bugging me for a loooong time and I think it needs to be written and posted. No regrets. Well... maaaaybe a little bit.
Also I find the definition of the term "fairy tale" interesting, most use it as a "happy story where things may go bad but end good", but if you check it out there actually is an entry that says it is a "fabricated story, especially one intended to deceive (perhaps expecting a happy ending but getting the opposite)", so thanks Google.
OmegaEleven: It seems I'm ending this here... for now or for good, I don't know for sure.
