(A/N: If you have a problem with angst, you need to stop reading this right now and go read something written by someone who likes happy, untroubled romances. Also, James might be a bit OOC, but it doesn't matter, because he's only sort of important for this story.)


Lily Evans sat slumped in her favorite leather armchair in front of the fire blazing on the hearth of the Gryffindor common room. She stared into the flickering orange flames, trying not to think about him, but failing quite spectacularly.

"Damn you, Severus Snape," she muttered under her breath, a tear slipping down towards the corner of her lips as she did so. Why did he have to be so cold to her, so heartless, but most of all, why did he have to go ruining his life by studying the Dark Arts? Lily didn't notice her fingernails puncture the cracked brown leather of her chair, or the questioning stares of her classmates that inevitably resulted from the small noises it made. Someone dropped a box of chocolate truffles in her lap - she looked up briefly to see who it was. "Potter."

"Lily, I don't know what happened, but I want you to know that, whatever it was, I'm sorry." James Potter looked earnest enough, but Lily knew better than to trust him, especially when he was so joyous in the face of her overwhelming misery.

"You wouldn't understand, and even if you could, I wouldn't want you to," she managed to choke out before she started crying again.

"But Lily, it's Christmas Eve. And besides, no one should be as miserable as you are, holiday or not." He sat on the floor in front of her, using one hand to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, and Lily felt a flicker of annoyance at this recurrent habit. "I know you like chocolate." He gestured to the box that rested on her thighs.

"Merlin help you if you don't either shut up or go away this instant, Potter." She raised her eyes to meet his, and there was a brief moment during which James thought she would actually murder him, regardless of the company they were in. He flinched instinctively when she reached into her robes, thinking that she was going to pull out her wand and hex him, but instead her hand emerged with a scrap of blank parchment clutched between her slender fingers. Setting it down on the nearest table, she reached for a quill and scribbled out a note that James, fearing for his personal safety, didn't dare try to read.

Lily was writing too quickly to bother worrying about her handwriting, or about the tears that threatened to drip onto the parchment. She knew she had to get this over with before the magnitude of her actions came crashing down on her shoulders, because if that happened, she would never be able to finish the note.

Severus,

I'm sorry for reacting so negatively, but I just don't think that at our age, or at any age really, should anyone be studying something as dangerous and evil as the Dark Arts. I really do -

Here Lily stopped for a moment to think, quill poised to write down the next words in her frantic letter. She knew she couldn't tell him what she was actually thinking, although her quill jerked dangerously close to the paper and the ink had formed the first two letters of "- love you -" before she stopped herself, realizing that there was no way in the world that she could ever tell him that. Instead, she crossed it out (very thoroughly) and replaced it with:

- still want to be friends - meet me in the Astronomy Tower tonight at 2 if you can.

Lily

Fingers shaking, she folded the note and ran up to her dormitory, tying it hastily to the leg of her nondescript brown owl. "Take this to Severus," she whispered to it as she opened the window, and with a soft hoot, her owl flew off. Lily didn't know how her owl managed to get into the Slytherin dormitories, since they were located under the lake, but what mattered was that it was possible. She watched as the little brown speck of a bird dove down and disappeared over the cliffs.

With a sigh, Lily sank down on her bed. Now, there was nothing to do but wait.