Konoko: its been a long time since I wrote anything. I've been having a lot of stuff happening to me. Then, I got Kingdom Hearts II and I was filled with so much inspiration that I had to write this fic. I have no plot yet but I know what ever it is it's going to take a while. It came to me when Sora went into his Anti-form while fighting Saix in the game. I knew Riku and Kairi were watching so I thought I'd write their reaction to it. Then after I beat the game I came up with this fanfic. Hope you like it. It's my first time writing KH fiction. Oh and those of you who are fans of Cruel Angel my FMA fanfic. I'm still working on it. Don't worry! It'll be up soon

"Sora!" Goofy shouted.

I hear you…but I can't stop…

"Sora!" Donald yelled in his distorted voice.

Stay away, I can't control it!

"Sora!" Kairi screamed horrified.

No, don't look at me, Kairi. I'm too ashamed…

"Sora…" Riku whispered softly, worried but not afraid. He understood.

Riku…why can't I stop? Why does it feel so good?

"I think the darkness has gotten to me too."

"If the world is made of light and darkness, we'll be the darkness."

"Yeah, the other side. The realm of light is safe." I can't go back. "The king, Kairi and the others are there." The look of horror on her face…

"I was jealous of you." Why…you were always better… "The way you lived. Following your heart." That's true…I followed my heart…it always lead me to you, Riku.

"I had my share of problems." My own sins… "Like wanting to be like you." Wanting to be with you…my one best friend for ever…

"There is one advantage to being me, something you can never imitate." I could never imitate anything about you, Riku.

"Really, what's that?"

"Having you for a friend."

Oh, god. You aren't afraid of me, Riku. "Then I guess, I'm okay the way I am." You're the only one who accepts me now… "I've got something you could never imitate too."

You aren't afraid of my darkside…


wonK uoY nahT noitceffA eroM deeN I

Sora


Sora awoke from his sleep with the echoes of the six month old memories. His sapphire eyes gazed at the beige ceiling. His unfocused eyes scanned the room with faint interest as to where he was. They fell on the handmade ship hanging from his ceiling with the small cloth dolls that had at one point been the image of himself and Kairi. He looked at the crudely drawn faces and smiled softly. Now he remembered. This wasn't the hotel in Traverse Town. This wasn't a makeshift loft in the Gummi ship. This wasn't Merlin's house in Radiant Garden. This was his room, his bed, and his sanctuary. He sighed contentment and turned onto his stomach snuggling further into his pillow. The sun wasn't up yet; him being awake wasn't natural. He groaned as he tossed trying to get back to sleep. It just wouldn't come back to him. He wasn't surprised and knew why. The telltale feeling in his heart made it painfully obvious that his thoughts had been wondering again. When his thoughts wondered, the unnerving feeling grew and it caused him insomnia at night and to remember all the instances that it had occurred. The worst being when she saw him. The horrified look in those beautiful blue eyes of hers and had been enough to rip his heart into when he thought about it. She had been so apprehensive after his bare hands had killed Saix. It was a scattered memory that he could only recall in pieces. He only knew how good it felt when the darkness had coursed through his veins. It brought him back to the very first time it had happened.

He had ran into Riku in the Land of the Dragons and had fought him to receive his attention. He had believed so much that it had been Riku and he followed his heart knowing that it would lead him to the platinum blonde if he were still on that world. When they had fought, he felt something spark within his heart. Something he hadn't felt since he had left the island on that fateful night. It was completeness and when Riku had left him, it swiftly turned into emptiness. Maybe that was why he sought out the man in the black trench. He wanted to be with his best friend; he needed it. That was when he swore that he would do anything to grasp that completeness once again. To feel that spark once again. Maybe that was what had triggered it. Maybe that was what had caused it. When Storm Rider flew in and attacked the Emperor's palace, Sora had called on his inner strength to perform his Sync Blade technique. But something went wrong. His desire to kill Storm Rider was not for the good of Mulan's world…he wanted it gone because he was angry. He wanted to destroy it because this thing was an obsticle between him and Riku. That was when he felt a surge of unexpected power. It entered his every pore and caused him to throw his head back in a sick sort of ecstasy. Waves of pleasurable power coursed through his entire body and he felt the world suddenly become so clear. He was Sora and no one else. This was his life and his alone! He felt his selfishness, anger, and sadness wrap around him like a thick blanket of solid black and burst from it a whole new being. He examined his hands finding the completely shadowed and radiating nothing but darkness. He heard his name called with shock and disbelief but that was not his concern. It was only a distraction from the matter at hand. He had charged the dragon heartless with lightning speed that left his companions wide eyed. His shadow claws ripped and tore at the heartless until it was near death. Then to finish it off he tossed both his clawed hands back creating a dark ball of energy made from his own inner power and slammed into Storm Rider. He watched with a twisted grin on his face as the heartless exploded and disintegrated. His friends called his name bringing him out of his moment of triump. He glared at them. He wanted more. The fire needed to be fed and there was one person he knew that could tend to it. They were so close and he could feel them watching but they were too far and his time was running out. For now, they would have to do. He lunged for the duck and dog but a voice in his head caused him to falter.

Sora! Don't! Don't let it over take you!

Who? Sora felt the darkness leaving him in an almost fleeing way. It seemed as though his body was unfit to house it any longer and it fled from him. He was dizzy now and realized he was normal again. Still, that knowledge did nothing to stop him from falling to the stone ground. Before he lost all consciousness he had seen Riku and Kairi on the Poapu tree…just like it use to be…

Sora rose out of bed shuddering at the memory. The sun would be up in a while which meant he was not the only one who would be out of bed. He smiled to himself and shred of his nightclothes to shower before he left. He had a feeling he wouldn't be back for breakfast and his mom would kill him but he'd worry about that later. He stepped out of the shower and tried to do something with his hopeless hair. Maybe today would be the day it would be good and not look like kitten hair on top of his head. It was bad enough he'd been a lion cub once although he chose to keep that information to himself. He'd be damned if he gave Riku anything else to hold over his head. Unfortunately, no such miracle would occur today and he simply left it alone. After drying the water out of it, he threw on his normal black outfit and escaped his house through the window. His mom was use to coming to his room and finding it empty in the mornings. He ran off to the beach sneaking by Kairi's house with extra care. Somehow that girl always heard him outside and he was forced to take her with him. He adored the girl but there were some things he wished to do alone. Like this. He untied his boat and rowed to their island finding, as expected, a single boat tied to the dock. He felt that spark again with the knowledge that he was already here just as he predicted. It was still dark so there was not need to rush to Riku's small island. It wasn't like the platinum blond was going anywhere. Besides, he wanted to surprise him. He walked up the stairs of the seaside shack skipping every step he knew that creaked. Sometimes he just had the feeling that Riku either heard him coming up the stairs or coming across the bridge. Other way, something or other always gave him a way. Not this time though. Today he was determined. He made his way stealthily across the bridge. He could already see the silvery hair dancing in the soft breeze. He hadn't turned nor said and a word so Sora knew he was in the clear to do what he had been planning the whole day yesterday. He creeped through the sand and got low to the ground as the older boy sat there on the Poapu tree. His butt even wiggled before he lunged at the boy with a small grunt. Maybe he was part cat. He was almost there when suddenly Riku laid on his side at the last minute sending Sora into the coconut tree. His head hit the exact same dent it had made over the years. He fell backwards and lay on his back trying to shoo the birds around his head away. He looked at the teen with mock murder in his azure eyes while Riku stared at him with an amused smirk on his face.

"How'd you know this time?"

"Because you try this everyday, every morning, at the exact same time. It's not hard to expect it."

Sora sat up and turned rubbing his head. "You could've just humored me."

Riku sat up laughing. "I'll wait for the day you knock that tree down."

Sora sighed and went to join Riku on the tree. He got comfortable next to his best friend and gazed at the horizon, a sort of piece falling between them. This was the morning ritual they had had since they were little, before Kairi came to the island. The sun rose slowly connecting land and sky in a blinding radiance that illuminated the sea and caused the sky to blush. Sora stole a glance at Riku from the corner of his eye and silently inhaled at the beautiful serene look the blonde held in the twilight. Pale skin glowed and his hair sparkled in the rays making him almost seem like an illusion. There it was again. That strange feeling building in the depths of his heart…just like in the land of the dragons and in the fight with the Lunar Diviner. It was building and Sora fought hard to keep it suppressed. For some reason, the darkness always desired to reach for Riku. It always wanted to see his best friend in pain. That's why he wanted so much to supress

"It's kinda rude to stare, Sora."

Sora blushed and turned back to sunrise. His mind was still fighting the darkness rising in his chest. Not now…He heard Riku's soft chuckle and turned to look at the blonde who was now facing him. "What's with you? You've been actin' weird since we came back."

"I hadn't noticed." He lied. It had become so easy. Second nature these days, but some how he always saw right through it.

"Right," he said sarcastically. "And I suppose the avoiding Kairi to come out here was just something you wanted to do."

Jerk. "No, I just wanted to talk to you about something!"

Riku shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm listening."

Sora fidgeted slightly remaining quiet. He saw Riku roll his eyes and continue watching the horizon. "I can't help you if I don't know the problem."

"I, uh, well," Sora swallowed hard. He'd thought this out for hours yesterday so why was it so hard to say it now. "I wanted to talk to you about…the thing that happened with Saix."

"Your anti-form," he said softly.

"Yeah. I'm not sure what I want to ask but, what do you think my anti-form was?"

"The darkness within you, you know that."

"Well, that's not what I meant. I meant…why does it happen whenever-"

"Sora! Riku! There you are."

I turn to see the figure in pink running toward us with a smile on her face. The darkness instantly calmed as those vibrant blue eyes fell on him. She skipped over to them and stood with her hands behind her back. Sora smiled warmly at her and slid off the branch to greet her. She embraced him instantly almost knocking him over. Sora hugged her back in obligation and tried not to wince when she kissed his cheek. Her kisses weren't warm anymore. They were emotionless and almost forced. She was still apprehensive about him; he knew she was only doing that so he wouldn't feel bad. If anything they made him feel worse but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"You guys are always here before me. You wouldn't be planning an escape behind my back?"

Riku ignored her with a smirk on his face and Sora looked off to the side to show playful guilt. "You found us out!"

"I knew it! Riku, how could you even think to take my Sora away from me!"

"Oh, I dunno," he answered jokingly. "My sole purpose in life is to come between you two."

"I knew something was wrong with you, Riku." Sora grinned.

Kairi shook her head. "Hopeless. Hey, Sora, I was wondering if you wanted to have breakfast with me this morning since you're up before noon today!"

Sora shrugged and nodded. His eyes fell on Riku. "You wanna come Riku?"

"Nah, I ate already. I'll just stay here."

"You sure?"

He nodded and Kairi tugged on his arm. "Come on, Sora! He said he didn't want to go and we're going to miss breakfast at the place I picked out!"

"Okay, okay, I'm coming, Kai." He looked back at Riku apologetcally. His gaze was returned by a look that said, "we'll finish this later." Sora nodded and allowed himself to be tugged away by the red head. He didn't get to finish. Even as he was being pulled away, Sora's azure eyes couldn't help but gaze back at the plantinum blonde. He knew where it came from, but he didn't know how to say it to him. Riku was the one who awakened the darkness within him. Riku's keyblade placed it there. Sora's own desire to find him again nurtured it. Being denied his best friend's attention had awakened it. The darkness centered on Riku. He understood that now.

Kairi dragged Sora everywhere possible keeping him away from the island. She flinched every now and then when Sora tried to be normal and wrap an arm around her waist. It was soon forgotten and she became comfortable again. Sora only followed her and his responses to questions were automatic after six months of practice. He couldn't help it when his eyes wondered to the outline of the island. He pondered on how he would get the nerve back to tell Riku about his anti-form's trigger. He felt bad when he dropped Kairi off at her house. He was guilty because he couldn't devote his attention to his own girlfriend without thinking about that day. She leaned in a kissed him softly and for once he felt the warmth of her emotions again. Atleast she had enjoyed herself. He gave in but felt something ache in his heart. It was back again. But why with Kairi! It clawed at him worse than before and it seemed to want him to suffer as well as Kairi. He could almost see his own darkened hand reaching out for Kairi's pale throat.

"Sora!" a soft strained voice reached his ears and his eyes snapped open. There his hand tightly grasped her neck and he held her off her feet. In her eyes he saw his own, golden and glowing just like before. He pulled away from Kairi quickly and watched her wide eyed as she fell to the ground gasping for air. He shook his head in denial and back slowly away from her. She sat there watching him with fear that was surely keeping her paralyzed. He felt a strange power take control of his arm and he saw that part of it was blackened and resonated a dark aura. He grasped his arm tightly and ran as fast as he could from the girl. He had to get away from his home. He had to be alone. He had to or he would kill her.

Sora took his boat to the island and made his way to the secret place. He sat there and held his arm to his body trying to will the darkness away. He rocked back and forth wanting it to stop but like all the times before he couldn't. He lay on his side writhing yet never in pain. If it hurt, maybe that would make it better. If he felt pain maybe this wouldn't be so difficult and disgusting. Instead he felt wave after wave of twisted pleasure passing through him as the dark aura surrounded him and forced him into submission. Before his control was loss to him, he heard the sound of rapid footsteps in the cave. His amber eyes looked up at cerulean orbs that gazed down on him in pity. Riku…He couldn't allow himself to hurt Riku. But he had no control. Sora managed to murmur with his final ounce of control before the darkness took over him.

"Please…make it stop…."

"Sora…I'm so sorry…" he heard the older boy whisper.