The radio crackled. Static rushing steadily like a river. Filling the night with an electrical sound. It joined chorus with the crickets of night. A steady soundtrack a blur.
She had no idea how long the white noise had been dragging on. Probably for a while. Who knows? Time had been lost from her senses.
The vehicle rested across the street from the apartment complex. She watched with a somber gaze at the one window with a light alive.
The glow was faint and orange. The curtains casting a shadow on the slanted roof.
There was a dark figure. Masculine.
Another smaller figure was by his side. A child. A little girl.
She couldn't hear it but the brunette was able to phantom the pure giggles of innocence as the mouth was agape with a smile. The bigger figure lifted the child up. Spun her around in joy. Planted a kiss on the girl's cheek. They were vibrant as the soft glow of light. The shadow bent down to tuck the 5-year-old in bed.
The brunette watched with a frown of grief. She took a drink from the warm glass bottle. Sulking, she turned away from the scene. The sadness overwhelming her and a anger boiling in her veins.
She turned the keys. The car spluttering in response. Waking up from its nap. The static went silent for a moment. Then it bounced back with an eerie call and tried speaking.
"The system….working efficiently…"
The brunette scowled at the radio and she placed the bottle of liquor down. Her hand turned the knob, searching for a better station.
Voices were mingled. Music was hollow and distant. The noise played with the air as if were a friend. Trying to adjust to the environment and satisfy the night.
She paused on some indie song. The brunette leaned back not fully satisfied with the song but knew it was probably the only decent thing on. The rhythm matched her mood at least. Even if she did not take liking to the lyrics.
Her foot shifted and she pressed forcefully on the gas pedal. The car's tires screamed and she knew she would attract attention. That was least of her worries though. She was already fleeing from the street in a few seconds and she slowed down when she finally left the block of the middle-class ass folks.
"I'd like to be your beautiful hell."
The music clenched at her heart. Reached into her soul and dragged the emotion out. She felt like her feelings were being violated. She was being mocked by the music. The words were nothing to her but the instruments that played screamed at her. Her fingers clenched tightly at the steering wheel. She watched as the streetlight flickered to red. The brunette applied pressure on the pedal knowing that no one spots her. The streets were empty. Everyone was tucked safely into their homes with their families. Happy.
"When I was a child, I heard voices."
A new song slowly merged into the ending of the previous song. The brunette liked the beat to this one. She guided her hand to the volume and twisted it.
"Some would sing and some would scream."
She zoomed through the streets. The car yelping at every sharp turn. She took a long drink from the bottle. The speed felt good on her body. Pleasing her anger with a force. Her heartbeat played in her chest. Drumming with the music. She felt the blood in her ears. The radio climbed higher with the chorus.
"All you have is your fire."
"And the place you need to reach."
The brunette felt the rush. That exploded inside her. The sensation crawled on her skin. Bit her in the most sensitive places. Her mouth opened.
And she screamed at the top of her lungs over the music.
"Don't you ever tame your demons."
"But always keep 'em on a leash."
The surge was phenomenal.
Then it wasn't.
Why?
Because sirens erupted into the air. Their lights flashing in her rearview mirror. The wail of justice was behind her. She knew better.
Her hand reached for the bottle and she chugged the rest of the alcohol down. A burn in her throat followed.
She muttered to herself and wiped at her face.
"Fuck."
…
"You're so damn lucky Ymir."
"Am I?"
"Yes."
"Well fuck."
Eren failed to take humor in Ymir's tone.
The brunette stared at the male with slanted eyes. Her mouth was crooked. Her head hurt.
Soberness was a pain.
The young man was glowering at the taller girl. "It is 3:30 a.m.," He stated matter-of-factly and then shoved her lightly down the steps if the police station. "I had to pay for your bail and speeding ticket."
Ymir stumbled and fell to the ground. Her hands burned at the contact of the concrete. Her knees pressed against the ground hard and she felt her bones.
"Look at you," Eren whispered quietly. He stood above her. Her eyes met his green eyes. The green eyes of lushness glittered in pity. "You're way too skinny. Ymir, you look sick."
The brunette felt her lips curl up into a smile and she shifted around to sit up. Ymir gazed up at her friend and said, "Well, isn't that a fucking shame."
Eren shook his head. "Come on you drunk," He offered a hand and Ymir accepted it.
The world spun as she wiped the dirt from her jeans. Ymir sighed and ran a hand through her hair. A tidal wave of sadness knocked into her and she gasped. Emotion welling up in her throat. A ghostly hand squeezed her neck and choked her. She hated this.
Ymir felt her legs give out. The brunette collapsed to the ground again. Each breath was a whole shudder. Racking her body with power and beating her into the ground. She wished she felt numb. But knives of life sliced through her without mercy.
"You went to go watch them, didn't you?" Eren asked, knowing the answer very well. She felt his presence kneel down beside her and the brunette male placed a hand on the woman's shoulder.
Tears were acid on her cheeks. Sliding down her face and soaking into the stone ground. Her fist clenched and she whacked herself on the head repeatedly. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK." Eren tried to pry away the pounding fists that landed blows on the side of Ymir's head. The freckled woman finally gave in after a few more blows.
He helped her walk towards his car. The green-eyed brunette chose to abandon Ymir's car at the station. It was a piece of shit anyways. Also once Ymir recovered, she could always go and pick it up.
The brunette sniffed the whole way to Eren's house. He did not mind at all. It was not the first time Ymir crashed at his place and it would most likely not be the last. Eren had been a supporting friend for as long as Ymir knew him. He was there on those days Ymir failed to function correctly. Like this one.
The drive was short as they pulled into one of the wealthy neighborhoods and parked in his driveway. Eren was rich. Mostly because of his father, Grisha Yeager. He and his half-brother, Zeke, were following in their dad's footsteps as doctors. And they made good money out of their jobs because of that.
Ymir lost conscience after a few minutes when they left the police station. She was never aware of two pairs of strong arms, (which belonged to Eren and his wife, Mikasa), that carried her to the sofa of his living room. The brunette did not feel the blankets being thrown at her. She never heard the anxious mutterings that floated through the air and rested on the carpet floor without answers.
What Ymir did see was herself.
Alone.
In an empty void.
Curled up with her hands on her ears.
Crying.
Then plummeting.
Grasping for nothing but darkness.
And as she hit the invisible bottom, human shapes of white soared up and hovered over her. Their mouths were open.
She spotted the shape of the little girl giggling. That was her little girl. Smiling. Having a good time without Ymir in her life. She was happy without her own mother.
Then a larger shape pushed the child aside and smirked at her. Victory was his. He won the battle. He told her in a loop. His voice like the radio static. A fuzz.
Ymir cried in her nightmare.
She cried in her sleep.
