One Year Later: Gabrielle's Journey
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Xena Warrior Princess. Universal Studios and Ren Pics own those rights. This story is not done for profit but for fun and entertainment.
This is my first work of Fan Fiction please feel free to read and review, any comments are welcome.
The one year anniversary of the death of Xena was soon to arrive. It had been a very long year for Gabrielle. She had faced some pretty tough years before, but this one by far had been her worst ever. Her perception of time was dreadful; minutes seemed like hours, hours like days, days like years. For the first time, Gabrielle was completely alone. She had no one, well she had Sara and Lila, but no one who completely understood her, like Xena did. After returning to Greece from Japa, Gabrielle had found herself wondering how she was going to deal with this loss and pain. She had not let herself think about it on the boat ride back to Greece, because if she had, she would not have made it back.
It was just a few days now until that horrible anniversary. How was she going to get through it? Could she find enough strength within herself to make it through the day? These were some of the questions that kept repeating themselves in Gabrielle's mind.
Every morning over the past year, she had awoken hoping to find Xena already up and into her daily routine, that this somehow was just a terrible nightmare that was finally over. But Gabrielle had no such luck, as everyday for the past year she awoke to silence. The silence was enough to drive the most mentally sound person mad. The emptiness she felt inside had grown everyday over the past year, until she felt like an empty shell of her former self. When she looked in the mirror she did not recognize the face staring back at her. It was a stranger, one of infinite sadness, anger, and resentment.
Yes, she was still angry. Angry at whom and what, was the question now. She was angry at Xena, the Fates, and the whole world. She resented the fact that Xena had done what she had done, and did not think enough of Gabrielle to tell her, the real plan of that fateful day.
The day, oh yes that day, it replayed in Gabrielle's mind every waking moment of everyday for the past year now. She could not shake it, if only she had realized what was going on! Xena had acted strange from the moment they arrived in Japa. She should have seen the signs. Xena asking her what she would do when the town was on fire, and of course the pinch. That should have been the alarm right there. It was a dead giveaway, that of all the times to show her the pinch, Xena chose that moment. And the words Xena spoke to her "If I had only thirty seconds to live, this is how I would want to live them, looking into your eyes," would now haunt her forever. Looking back now, she would have followed Xena instead of leading the troops in the wrong direction as Xena had ordered. Even if it had meant she would have died along side Xena, for at least they would have been together. Because now, Gabrielle was left wandering the earth in her own personal hell.
Gabrielle had isolated herself from the outside world. She traveled around the known world, but she did not stop to make friends or much less visit any old friends. Avoiding the tough questions of Xena's death was her main goal. She had broken off all contact with the Amazons; she felt her time there had passed. Gabrielle had not seen Eve since she told Eve of her mother's death. She could not bear to look into Eve's eyes because all she saw was Xena staring back at her. As for returning to Poteidaia, that was not an option. Lila and Sara still lived there, but Gabrielle had felt distanced from them for some time now.
The rumors went around that Virgil, Joxer's eldest son, had search for Gabrielle upon learning of Xena's death. Gabrielle had kept her distance and decided she would see him when the time felt right. She even changed her appearance to keep the gossip down in each town she traveled through. She darkened her hair to brown and kept the Chakram hidden from sight. She did not care for people knowing who she was, because with that came the questions and that was just too painful.
Sure she still fought; there were the occasional thieves who only saw her as a helpless little girl. She saw fighting as a release from her pain, because she could forget all about what had happened and how she felt, if only for one moment. It allowed her to let it all out, and to feel some peace once again. As for the bard in her, she had let that part die along with Xena. The stories were no longer there.
The day could not have been better. There was not a dark cloud in the sky and the ocean was at an eerie calm. The warm sea breeze helped calm her seasickness, which over the years became less of a problem for the young warrior. Gabrielle had decided she would spend the anniversary of Xena's death in Japa where it all happened. This is the place she knew she would feel closest to her fallen friend. It almost seemed too painful to return, but perhaps this journey would help her deal with some closure. As the boat neared the shore, Gabrielle could see the outline of the town that was on fire when they arrived almost one year before. It had seemed to have grown and prospered over the last year. Gabrielle knew that people would recognize her the minute she set foot on land, because of the large dragon tattoo on her back. So, to keep this from occurring, Gabrielle wore a long full length cloak to cover it. The tattoo on her left calf was easy to hide with the boots she wore.
As the boat docked, Gabrielle felt apprehensive about going through with her plan. Yet, she also knew it was something she had to do. Besides she had already traveled all this way, she could not let it be for nothing. It would take at least a day to arrive at the foot of Mount Fuji, the place where she had last seen Xena. This would put her arriving there on the same day this all happened.
As she walked through the streets, memories replayed in her mind. She could see the water tower being punctured in order to stop the raging fire; she could see her and Xena standing there on top of it as if it was yesterday. She thought to herself that this was a bad idea, that it was a mistake to have come back, but something in her head told her to keep going.
The paths had not changed much in a year, everything still seemed the same. Gabrielle had decided she would travel half way before setting up camp. This ensured her that she would be alone in the woods and no one had the opportunity to recognize her. She found the perfect spot to set up camp; it was off the path, about a mile beside a small stream. Gabrielle could fill up her water skins and catch some fish for dinner. Catching the fish had always been one of Xena's favorite things to do. It somehow calmed and relaxed the mighty warrior. Since Xena was gone, Gabrielle finally learned the art of fishing. She would never be as good as Xena was but she managed to make do. She caught a couple of salmon and prepared them for her meal. After dinner was finished, Gabrielle sat by the fire staring into the flames, reflecting on the last year of her life. Had she disappointed Xena by shutting herself off from everyone? Probably, but then again why did she care what Xena thought? She lost that power over Gabrielle the minute she died.
Soon after Gabrielle finished that thought, a cold chill ran down her spine, and she looked around nervously. Somehow, she felt like there was someone else around. But she saw no one, and there was no sound except for some birds, and the crackling of the fire that was burning low. She was alone again. Gabrielle sighed and shook her head. This was just her mind playing tricks on her again. She would do better to get some sleep, for tomorrow would be a long and hard day.
The sunrise awoke Gabrielle from a dreamless sleep. She got up and decided to cook some fish for breakfast. As she sat there staring at her meal, Gabrielle once again had the feeling that she was not alone. "Go away, you are not welcome!" she yelled out. If her mind did not stop this non sense she was going to go mad. No one was there!
She quickly finished eating, then packed up her things, and started heading towards the mountain. It was about mid day when she saw the mountain come into sight. Soon she would be there, the place where her personal hell had begun.
When Gabrielle finally arrived, the sun was at its highest point in the sky. This was it; there was the place where she first caught the mighty Chakram. She still carried with her the sacred katana, with which she could turn the fountain on. She looked around to see if anyone else was on the mountain with her. She was as she wished to be, totally alone. With that thought in mind, she removed the cloak she had been disguised in. She felt a cool breeze hit her as she stood there looking around at the surroundings. Since no one was around to witness who had possession of the sacred katana, Gabrielle decided that she would unlock the fountain. She inserted the katana and turned it around, much like a key. Gabrielle watched quietly as fountain slowly filled up. She reached down for her bag and pulled out a medium sized pouch, the pouch she kept Xena's ashes in.
Once again, she felt someone's presence upon her. She once again ignored it, sat the pouch on the edge of the fountain and leaned over to look in. Gabrielle saw her reflection in the clear water like a mirror. Her emotions were running wild. "I am here, I made it back home," she said quietly.
When she spoke the words, she knew them to be true. For the first time in a year she truly felt at home, because her home was where Xena was. "I have lived a year without you, and it was hell, the worst and hardest thing I have ever done, I can not bear it anymore, it hurts too badly. How do you expect me to continue like this? I want it to end and today it will, in someway or another," Gabrielle spoke, tears rolling down her face.
As she wiped the tears from her eyes, Gabrielle felt someone place a hand on her shoulder. She was almost scared to look. Had she finally push herself to insanity? Gabrielle slowly turned around, but before she could look up, she now felt the hand touch her cheek. The touch was warm and very familiar; Gabrielle kept her eyes closed, afraid to open them. Then a voice said, "Its okay now, I am here, everything is going to be okay, I promise."
Gabrielle had to catch her breath. This could not be her! It couldn't be! The female warrior slowly opened her eyes to see the clear blue eyes of Xena staring back at her. The two warriors warmly embraced like there was no tomorrow, and Gabrielle's tears of sadness turned to tears of joy. "If I am dreaming, please don't ever let me wake up," Gabrielle sobbed.
"You're not dreaming, I am here at least for now," stated Xena softly as tears began to fall from her eyes as well. Gabrielle broke the embrace and gazed upon Xena with worried eyes "For now? what do you mean for now? I can't go through losing you again."
"Gabrielle shhhhh, just listen for a minute," Xena said with a half smile as she tried to calm her friend down, "There is a chance that everything can be fixed, but first you have to just calm down and listen to me, I don't have much time." Xena took Gabrielle's hand and sat down on some rocks next to the fountain. "Well tell me Xena, I am listening, I will do whatever it takes," Gabrielle stated with a stern and determined tone in her voice.
To be continued………
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