I'm lying in a bed. There is a commotion going on around me but I am too distracted, too heartbroken to notice. I realise that this moment, is the moment my whole world will collapse. All too suddenly, everything I know, everything I love has irrevocably changed. But this is not where my story begins.

"How could I have been so stupid? I should have noticed. I am the chief medical examiner of the commonwealth of Massachusetts. I should have noticed this."I berated myself.

I, Maura Isles, should have indeed been able to detect that I was pregnant. Not only am I a doctor, I am a woman. I know my body better than anyone. Yes, I could not objectively evaluate the situation, however it was obvious.

Firstly, I was late. I am never late. I attributed the delay in my menstrual cycle to stress. I think unconsciously I knew that there was more to it, I just wasn't ready to accept it.

Another tell-tale sign was that I kept snapping at Angela and she really didn't deserve it. She was just performing her usual routine, but for some reason her presence infuriated me. I felt smothered. Figuratively speaking, I was saved by a phone call, summoning me to a crime scene.

Once I arrived, I was greeted by Jane and the unmistakable stench of a decomposing body. I had both seen and smelt much worse than this, yet I struggled to fight the urge to vomit. I ran as fast as I possibly could in my stiletto heels, mentally cursing Jane for being right about wearing inappropriate footwear to a crime scene. I made sure I was out of sight before proceeding to expel the contents of my stomach. I had hoped that my sudden spell of nausea had gone unnoticed, but Jane knew instantly. I felt her place a gentle hand on my back. She began to rub in circular motions and whispered in dulcet tones, trying to soothe me. After ensuring that I had finished, Jane handed me a bottle of water.

"Here; drink this, you'll feel better. I still have some of Frost's breath mints in the car."

She gently guided me to her car.

Unsure of what to say, or how to thank her, I began by saying "those breath mints-"

"Are probably out of date, I know, but I haven't had the heart to throw them out" Jane interrupted.

I looked into her eyes. I could see clearly the pain caused by Barry's death. Jane may act tough but I can see right through her stony facade. She believes that showing emotion makes her weak. It doesn't, it makes her human. Jane Rizzoli is the strongest person I know, emotional or not.

"Actually, what I was going to say is that those breath mints sound really good right now!" I interjected.

She laughed, nudging her shoulder against mine. Jane opened the door for me and gestured towards the passenger seat.

"What about the victim? I haven't had the chance to conduct the preliminary examination of the body yet." I exclaimed.

I have never been one to let personal circumstances get in the way of me doing my job. Jane knelt down and looked me in the eye.

"Maura, you're sick. I know you want to help but it is important you get better. I had Korsak call Pike the second I saw the colour drain from your face! I'm taking you home-"

"But-" I interjected again, only for Jane to chime in "no buts."

She looked at me and I folded my arms, let out a sigh and noted the involuntarily furrowing of my brow. I felt like a child being scolded by their parent. At least, that's what I imagined it would feel like. Jane got in the car and began to drive. We remained in silence for what felt like eternity but couldn't have been for more than five minutes.

"But what about my car?" I quickly spluttered.

"I'll take care of that. You just focus on getting better." Jane explained lovingly.

"I actually feel much better now. I don't know what came over me. The last time I suffered from emesis, I was in college!"

I chuckled and glanced over at Jane. The confusion was written all over her features. She pulled over as soon as it was safe to do so.

"Emesis means-" I began to explain.

"I know what it means, Maura. It means vomiting."

Sensing the annoyance in Jane's voice, I thought it best to question her confusion.

"If you knew what emesis meant, why did you look so confused?"

"Isn't it obvious Maura? You were sick at a crime scene, my mother keeps ranting about your recent mood swings..." She looked at me, searching for some kind of recognition before continuing. "Maura, I think you're pregnant."

Unsure of the correct way to behave in such a situation, I laughed again.

"I'm not pregnant Jane."

Jane looked hurt and pain glazed her eyes once again.

"Are you sure? Have you taken a test? Maura, not long ago I was experiencing the same symptoms as you-" her voice broke.

She had barely spoken about her miscarriage, yet it was evident that it still plagued her. I felt my eyes well up and I was unable to prevent the single tear from escaping.

"I can't be pregnant, Jane."

I looked away. Even Jane's untrained eye could diagnose me. The realisation dawned on me; Jane was right. I, Maura Isles, was pregnant. I began to sob uncontrollably. Jane instantly embraced me, holding me closely to stop me from shaking.

"It's going to be okay, Maura. You are not alone in this."

I knew she was referring to my recent breakup with Jack. He accused me of putting my work before him and he was right. Before Jane, my work was the only relationship that has remained constant. I had trouble letting that go; my job meant everything to me. Well, almost everything. I was jolted back to the present when Jane began repeating my name.

"Maura, did you hear me?"

I looked at her and shook my head. "Sorry" I mumbled.

"It's okay, Maura. I was just saying that I think we should stop at the pharmacy on the way home. You can wait in the car and I'll pick up a couple of tests."

I was so grateful to have a friend like Jane. I never thought I would be so lucky. My whole life, I had difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. Jane was the only person who had ever tried to get to know me, the person behind the Google-mouth and designer clothes, the real me. She was the only person I'd ever let in.

"Thank you, Jane. For everything."

"That's what friends are for." She replied nonchalantly.

The rest of the journey was a blur. I couldn't remember Jane stopping at the pharmacy, or pulling into my drive for that matter. She got out of the car and then helped me to my feet. I was somewhat unsteady and thankful to have Jane at my side. She was always there to catch me. I rummaged through my purse, fumbling for my keys.

"Dammit" I exclaimed.

"Here, let me." Jane stated as she took my purse.

She found my keys instantly. She unlocked the door and guided me to the couch. I smiled at her appreciatively. There were no words necessary, for Jane just knew. She was so good at that.

"Maura, do you want some coffee? No, coffee is bad, very bad. I'm sorry. Let's have some tea instead."

It meant a lot to me that she remembered. She returned to the couch, carrying two mugs.

"I'm sorry if it tastes bad. I haven't had much experience of making tea."

I gratefully accepted the tea and carefully took a sip.

"It's lovely. Thank you, Jane." She just nodded.

She then took a sip of her own drink and a look of disgust washed over her face.

"Maura! I thought you said it was lovely! That's just nasty!"

She abruptly placed her mug onto the coffee table.

"It is lovely. Wait, you're drinking tea?" I questioned.

"Yes and it's gross!" Jane retorted.

"But you hate tea. You drink coffee. Black with far too much sugar." I recalled.

"Right, but for the next nine months coffee is off limits."

I realised then that she was cutting out coffee for me, as an act of solidarity.

"Jane, I appreciate the gesture but you really don't have to-"

"I know I don't have to Maura, I want to. I'm here for you. Every step of the way."

I began to cry again. I tried to stop but I couldn't.

"Hey Maur, it's okay. I didn't mean to make you cry." Jane comforted me again.

"It's not you, it's me. Or my hormones to be exact."

I noticed that I had left a trail of mascara on her pristine white shirt.

"Take off your shirt" I ordered.

"Not this again Maur!" Jane joked.

"Your shirt, it's all damp and covered in my mascara-"

"it's fine, really. I've been covered in much worse substances than your tears and mascara."

She took my hand in hers and wiped my tears away with her other hand.

"Are you ready to take the test?" She questioned.

I nodded and replied "It's not like I need time to study for it!"

She laughed at this and I did too.

"Look at you making a joke! I knew you had it in you!" Jane added proudly.

She handed me the box of tests and I took them into the bathroom.

"I'll be right outside if you need me." Jane called behind me.

Jane kept her promise, as she always did. She accompanied me to every appointment, she helped me tell Jack and was there to offer support when he rebuffed me. She really was amazing. She still is. I've realised now that I did not tell her that enough. Now it may be too late.

One day, we were sitting at the counter in my kitchen, drinking yet another cup of tea. I always loved moments like that; just me and Jane, no work, no stress, just two people spending time together and enjoying each other's company.

"I still can't believe how quickly my pregnancy has progressed! It feels like only yesterday I was sitting in your car when you told me I was pregnant!"I mentioned as I affectionately stroked my distended abdomen.

"I know! Who knew your twenty week appointment would come around so quickly! Are you excited? I know I would be." Jane added sadly.

Initially, Jane would offer me helpful advice she had picked up during her pregnancy. Now, we were equal, both learning as we go along.

"I am excited; I can't wait to find out whether this baby is a girl or a boy. Not that it matters to me. I just want this baby to be healthy. I'm sorry Jane. I know this must be hard for you and I really do appreciate you doing this with me."

I didn't want to cause Jane any more upset but it was important that she knew I understood and was there for her if she ever wanted to talk.

"It's not your fault Maur. I will always be there for you, day or night. Thank you for letting me be there for you."

Jane's reply raised more questions than it answered. She was doing me a favour, why was she thanking me?

As if she could read my mind, Jane explained "Since I lost my baby, I've longed to do all of these things, to have a little family like yours."

Jane's confession broke my heart. It must have been so difficult for her, trying to be happy for me, to be there for me whilst she had lost everything. Jane Rizzoli has such a big heart (metaphorically speaking of course), she is so selfless and loyal.

"You do Jane." I stated with absolute certainty.

"You are a member of this family and we are so fortunate to have you."

I meant every word. My baby and I were lucky to have her. They say that blood is thicker than water, but I disagree. Biologically speaking, Jane is not family but there is so much more to it than just DNA. I don't know who initiated the embrace, however I do know that it was exactly what we needed.

Jane broke away from me saying "Come on Maur, we don't want to be late for your appointment. I know you like to be early for these things."

I flashed a bright smile and collected my things.

This was it. This is what it truly meant to be happy.

I remember vividly that moment of sheer joy. I know now that moments pass, that happiness is short-lived and that life turns on a dime. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept.

"Placenta previa? What the hell does that mean?" Jane asked aggressively.

"It means that the placenta is lying too low in my uterus and covering my cervix. It means that there could be complications and even premature delivery." I stated matter-of-factly.

I felt numb. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. Just moments earlier I was so unbelievably happy and now everything was going wrong. We drove home in silence, both overwhelmed by what we'd just been told and both unsure of what to say to each other. We walked inside, still not saying anything but needing to say something. Jane was the first to break the silence.

"It's going to be okay Maur. Nothing is going to happen to you or your baby, because… because I won't let it. I know you, and I know that you are probably thinking about Murphy's Law"

And she was right, I was. If anything bad can happen, it probably will.

"but you can't think like that Maur. You are not most people, you are special. You deserve to be happy. There isn't anyone more deserving than you. You are the kindest, sweetest, smartest genius I know and you definitely don't deserve all this crap." She sniffled, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

The pain I felt was unbearable, but it was even worse seeing Jane hurting too. I did not like to be hugged when I was very upset, but at that moment I decided to make an exception. I needed Jane and she needed me. I hugged her tightly and she hugged me tightly in return. Before I could even think about what I was saying, words slipped from my lips.

"I know I was scared at first, I still am, but I want this baby. I can't lose my baby, Jane."

"I know Maur, I know. You have been through so much and you will get through this. She is a fighter, just like you."

Jane gestured towards my abdomen and as she did, I felt it. The most amazing feeling I have ever felt; I felt my daughter kick for the first time. Almost as if she was letting me know that Jane was right, that she was a fighter. Without words, I grabbed Jane's hand and placed it on my abdomen.

"She's kicking? She's kicking! This is amazing Maura!" Jane exclaimed.

I realised then, that even on the worst days, there's still a possibility for joy.

I was so excited for my daughter's arrival, yet the very thought terrified me. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms and know that she was safe. I took early maternity leave. I loved my job, but I loved her more. A few days after my twenty week scan, and the diagnosis of placenta previa, Jane moved in with me. It didn't seem that different as we would spend so much time together anyway, but I did feel so much safer knowing that she would be there when things went wrong. And she was.

I was sleeping soundly until I was awoken by an excruciating pain, radiating from my abdomen. I recognised the severity of the situation. I called out to Jane who immediately rushed into my bedroom.

"Maura, what's wrong? Oh my god, Maura…"

I followed her gaze. There was blood, so much blood.

"Maura, can you walk? We need to go to the hospital, right now. I'll drive, it will be much quicker than waiting for an ambulance."

I don't remember the drive, or even arriving at the hospital. I just remember lying on a bed, this bed, recalling the events that led up to this moment. I am aware that there is a commotion going on around me but I am too distracted, too heartbroken to notice. I realise that this moment, is the moment my whole world will collapse. All too suddenly, everything I know, everything I love has irrevocably changed. As the world around me begins to fade into darkness, all I can do is hope that this is not where my story ends.