-Redone, you would have noticed a few spelling mistakes and other grammatical errors. It has been a long time coming but here it is!-
Hey I'm writing a Lily/James fic and here's the first chapter.
A couple of things to note while you read. I am an Australian so some of the spelling or grammar may sound wrong (e.g. colour instead of color or realise instead of realize)
Hope you enjoy it, please review
CHAPTER 1 - QUESTIONS
-James-
A cold breeze drifted in through the open window of James Potter's bedroom. I was Christmas Eve and the feel of the air on his skin raised gooseflesh and left him shivering. He didn't mind the cold though, it left him feeling exhilarated, alive, and it took the edge off the pain he felt while staring at the letter in his hands.
He had received it from Lily before break. The parchment was crumpled, the ink faded; signs that it had seen much use in the week since he had received it. He opened it once more and began to read, hoping that somehow he had just misunderstood. But as he glanced over it, he knew that was not the case. Lily had made sure that it was very clear.
Potter,
I know that you fancy yourself in love with me but the way you have behaved up to this point has left me with no choice but to close that door forever. I could never be with someone who clearly has so little regard for others, who cares so little about their future, or who treats women, myself included, as trophies; little more than objects.
Please do not try again this term to woo me. We have one and a half years left and I need to be able to focus on study so that I can have a career, not all of us have rich parents.
If you can find it in yourself to become a better person and apologize, I could consider being a friend to you, but we will never, and I mean never have a relationship.
Lily
Why does she hate me? His thought's drifted morosely. How could anyone hate me, and after six years of knowing each other? I don't understand, I put so much effort into being what people expect of me. I'm fun, charismatic, a bit of a trouble maker. Is that not what people look up to? I've worked so hard at perfecting this persona to impress people but the one person that I'd really like to impress thinks that I'm an idiot. What have I done that has been so wrong anyway? Fair enough, sometimes a prank goes too far or I say something wrong in the spur of the moment but I've never meant to hurt anyone, except maybe Snivellus. I wish that she would just get to know me a little so she can see that there's more to me than just the guy who's always pulling pranks, I mean, I like other things, like flying, reading, aerobatics. This list goes on, only no one knows that. I've tried so hard to be what people want me to be that I've dropped some of the things that I love, but everyone seems to like me the way I am.
He sighed deeply. The irony that he had worked so hard to be what people expected when the person he could have been may have been better left a bitter taste in his mouth.
It was painfully obvious that Lily's dislike of him was entirely his own fault. Between the person he had created for himself and the fact that she put him at a loss for words, let alone actions, he always managed to act like an idiot when he was around her. The nights that he spent closeted in his bedroom with a book or hours of aerial acrobatics he spent perfecting with Sirius were irrelevant if she never saw them.
He tried to drown out the voice in his head but wondered at the same time whether it may be right. Could he actually change the way that he was because of, or for, a girl? If she didn't like him for what he was when everyone else did, then what did that say about her? Oh, right, that she was different, mysterious, desirable... Worth it? He couldn't help but think about what life might be like if he 'grew up' and 'deflated his head' like Lily was always telling him to. Maybe he should stop the flirting and tone down the pranking, maybe he should...
'James,' Sirius called as he ran into James' room and jumped on the bed, 'it's Christmas Eve and dinner's about to start, stop moping over Lily and come downstairs.' Sirius was out of the room again before James could even reply.
'I wasn't moping about Lily.' He mumbled, trying to convince himself that he needed to change into the person he wanted to be -obstacles and humiliations be damned- while at the same time debating whether or not it was worth the risk. This train of thought carried him all the way downstairs to the dinner table. An endless battle of Pros and Cons to do with changing himself. His thoughts were finally interrupted still not even half formed as he sat down.
'Finally,' Sirius said, 'I was scared that I'd have to eat yours for you'
'Right, like you won't try that anyway' James scoffed.
'Well, um, now that you mention it, oh look James it's your parents'
James' parents walked into the room and sat down with James' father at the head and his mother next to him. Meanwhile their house elf Tibbles walked in with a feast following him through the air. A snap of his fingers sent the food toward the table and a second snap caused the food to settle before the family. As it lowered Sirius was nearly jumping out of his seat trying to reach the turkey, exquisite as ever. One last snap of Tibbles' fingers sounded like a whip crack and Sirius drew back his hand which had turned bright red as though he had been thoroughly rapped on the knuckles.
The meal progressed slowly for James. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the meal or the company, just that his thoughts were not at the table, but far away with Lily. His parents had noticed his out of character silence and looked at him in concern.
'James?' asked his mother, he looked up at her, realising that she must have asked him a question, 'I asked if there was something troubling you?
'Oh he's just moping about Lily,' Sirius supplied through a mouthful of food.
'What has she done now?' asked James' father.
'I, I don't want to talk about it just now,' he said sadly.
Sirius looked at him in a concerned manner and he knew immediately that there would be an interrogation that night. Sirius was the best friend anyone could ask for and was always able to see when James needed to talk, especially when he didn't want to.
James did his best to push his worries aside and tried to engage himself in the conversation. They were discussing who might seem a likely candidate for the Head positions the next year when Sirius changed the subject.
'Well I think it's pretty obvious that Lily will be Head Girl,' James said, 'she's the only justifiable choice really. Dumbledore may be a little barmy but he won't pass her over.'
'What about Head B-'
'How can I make pigs fly?' Sirius blurted out.
'What?' The other three asked simultaneously.
'Well you see, I asked out this girl before break and she laughed and said she'd go out with me when pigs started flying. I know it's just a figure of speech and all but I figured if I could show her a flying pig then she would have to go out with me!' Sirius said triumphantly and without a hint of embarrassment.
James and his parents sat silently for a full five seconds before they burst out laughing.
'You realise that she probably meant that she'd never go out with you right?' James asked, trying to contain his laughter.
'Yeah but...' Sirius said looking a little hurt.
'I'm sorry Sirius but that is rather funny,' James' father said but continued when he noticed Sirius' stony expression, 'but if you're serious about it then I'm sure we have something in the library that could help.'
At the mention of the library Sirius' face lit up 'Oh yeah, I didn't think of that.'
'Or at all,' James muttered under his breath.
'What was that?' Sirius demanded, 'What was that?'
-Sirius-
After dinner Sirius dragged James up to the library to help him look for a book. The search continued aimlessly for a while with books at random being plucked from the shelves and being skimmed over. Finally James had an idea.
'Hey Sirius' James said excitedly.
'Yeah?'
'When we transform we gain new abilities right?'
'What do you mean?' Sirius asked, intrigued.
'Like you run faster or for longer, you get a better sense of smell, I can sense danger, stuff like that?'
'Yeah...' Sirius said, not understanding why James was stating the obvious.
'Well if we partially transfigured a pig so that it had wings would it maybe be able to fly?' James asked.
'That's brilliant,' Sirius exclaimed.
They both jumped to their feet and started looking through the transfiguration section. They each staggered up the stairs to their joined rooms with both arms full of books, precariously balanced and stacked so high that they could not see over the top of them. Upon arriving they put them down and began flipping through the ones that seemed most likely.
'Here,' Sirius said after a surprisingly short ten minutes.
'Chapter 10 - Transfiguration and Flight
A creature or person may be transfigured in various ways that let them take on attributes of that which they are transfigured into. This means that if an object is transfigured into something that can fly, that object can gain the ability of flight. When using Flight Transfiguration you must transfigure something that has a mind if you are only performing a partial transfiguration (i.e. giving a person wings) if you attempt a partial flight transfiguration on an inanimate object it will not gain the ability to fly (i.e. a goblet). The incantation to give something wings and flight is 'Tribuo Fuga'. The correct wand motion is also important, you must hold your wand out straight and lift it sharply upwards while incanting the spell.'
'There,' Sirius said triumphantly, 'if we can do this spell properly on a pig then she'll have to go out with me!'
'Okay Sirius, if you think so,' said James, who was shaking his head, 'by the way, who is this girl, I've never known you to care so much about getting a girl to sleep with you.'
'James don't be stupid, you know I haven't slept with anyone yet,' Sirius said quietly, abruptly putting a stop to James' snickering.
'I know, but still, she must be pretty special if you're going to this much effort,' James said, sounding a bit more serious.
'She is, it's Monica,'
'As in Lily's best friend?'
'The one and only, I guess that I'm facing the same sort of problem as you. She only sees the pranks and Marauding, so she thinks I'm just an arrogant ponce like the rest of my family.'
'Hey, none of that,' James replied, 'We are your family, not that other lot. Moony, Wormtail, myself, my parents-'
'Who said I wasn't talking about you?' Sirius retorted, poking out his tongue.
He and James both laughed.
'But I'm being serious now,' Sirius chuckled with James at his terrible pun, it really never got old, 'I know that I can be the right person for her if I try, and showing her the pig will hopefully let her know that I am willing to try.
'I see what you're saying,' James said to him, 'I feel like that with Lily. I mean, I bet she doesn't know that I like to read, she said before break something to that effect, actually.
'Maybe if you pick up a book once in a while you could fill that fat head with knowledge,' Sirius mimicked.
'That was it,' James seemed to wince at the memory.
'Well maybe you should let her see that side of you,' Sirius ventured, 'she may even find that she likes it...'
He saw James grimace at his statement before pulling a crumpled piece of parchment from his pocket and passing it over. He read it quickly.
Potter,
I know that you fancy yourself in love with me but the way you have behaved up to this point has left me with no choice but to close that door forever. I could never be with someone who clearly has so little regard for others, who cares so little about their future, or who treats women, myself included, as trophies; little more than objects.
Please do not try again this term to woo me. We have one and a half years left and I need to be able to focus on study so that I can have a career, not all of us have rich parents.
If you can find it in yourself to become a better person and apologize, I could consider being a friend to you, but we will never, and I mean never have a relationship.
Lily
'Ouch,' was all Sirius could think of in way of a reply.
'Yeah,' James sighed, 'so now I feel like even if I do change she'll never give me much of a chance anyway.'
He was quiet for a moment while he thought this through, 'I think you're looking at it wrong,' he said comfortingly, 'It quite clearly states that she'd be willing to be friends with you, maybe if you just avoid talk about a relationship and be her friend, she might decide that she likes you all on her own.'
James laughed bitterly, 'wishful thinking buddy, but thanks anyway.'
Sirius felt terrible that the letter had put James in such a poor mood. He and the other Marauders knew that James was a great guy underneath the 'Cocky Quidditch Captain' persona that he displayed. He obviously thought that it was what everybody wanted to see from him. It was the same thought that ran through his own head all the time. Maybe he just needed to take his mind off it for a while and give the idea time to develop.
Nodding to himself, he said, 'Right then Jamesie, let's try this transfiguration.'
James nodded glumly at him, 'Kay'
The first few attempts were unsuccessful. James had always been the best at Transfiguration but his heart was obviously not in it tonight.
After half an hour with no result other than giving a book a curly tail, Sirius felt that it was time to call it a night.
'We'd best get to sleep, we have to be up at midnight to sneak down and open presents,' he reminded James. The young man's glum face lit up a bit at this and they got ready for bed.
'Sirius?' James asked him.
'Yeah.'
'Why do you think that Lily hates me so much?'
'What?'
'Why do you think she hates me?'
'I don't think that she hates you James, I think that you just annoy her sometimes, like when you pick on Snivellus or talk about Quidditch or-'
'Or be me' James interrupted
'Yeah,' Sirius said 'that is you most of the time isn't it. But there's nothing wrong with being who you are!'
'But we both know that that's not who I really am, not deep down anyway. Maybe I should let all that go...'
'I dunno mate... Is it really worth it?'
'What?'
'To give up what you enjoy just because of a girl?'
'I wouldn't be giving up what I enjoy, just doing some other things that I enjoy and that aren't upsetting to her. Besides, it's not just any girl that I'm doing it for Sirius,' James said, his voice starting to get a little dreamy 'it's Lily Evans th-'
'The girl of your dreams, I know mate, and I'm sure we don't need to know about those dreams,' Sirius cringed dramatically.
'Hey sod off,' James replied
'Oh no' Sirius pleaded mockingly, 'Whatever am I going to do? Jamesie is angry at me!'
'You could shut up for a start,' James said rolling over and falling silent.
After a moment of feeling guilty, Sirius felt the need to respond, 'you should do whatever you need to do to get her mate, if she means that much to you.'
'Thanks,' James replied sleepily.
Sirius left and soon after that they had both fallen asleep.
-James-
At 12:01 James was woken by Tibbles.
'Master James,' Tibbles said, shaking his shoulder, 'it's time for you to try and get your presents.'
'Thanks Tibbles,' James muttered sleepily before going over and shoving Sirius, who snored loudly and rolled over.
'Sirius, it's Christmas,' he said in a singsong voice.
Within seconds Sirius was up and putting on clothes. 'Why didn't you say so?' Sirius asked now ready to make the run downstairs to the Christmas tree.
They crept out of their room and made their way to the top of the stairs.
'Watch out for the creaky stairs,' James warned 'they make some creaky every year.'
'Got it' Sirius said and he stepped over one he knew to be creaky and suddenly the stairs turned into a slide beneath his feet 'Wheeee' Sirius squealed as he slid down to the bottom of the stairs with James coming down behind him. They came to a stop in a heap on the floor and suddenly all of the candles were lit.
'Good morning boys,' James' parents said cheerfully.
'Damn,' James said.
'Morning Harold, Mary,' Sirius said cheerfully.
James parents laughed at them as they got up.
'Let's go in and open presents,' his father suggested.
'Yay,' Sirius exclaimed and ran into the living room where the Christmas tree was set up. Christmas was always made extra special by the Potters' tree. Enchanted by a spell that Tibbles claimed had been passed down by House Elves for generations, it glowed ethereally. It bore no decoration bar the star on top, rather, the entire tree was home to glowing fairies the danced about and sang merrily. There was no particular song or melody, but the effect was wholly more magical than many things the boys ever saw at Hogwarts. They sat around the tree and Sirius gleefully ran around and handed out everyone's presents. When everyone had received their gifts they set to unwrapping them.
Sirius and James both reached similar looking presents at the same time; both were long and thin and flared out at the bottom. They unwrapped the items simultaneously after sharing a gleeful look.
'Merlin's beard!' 'No way!' They said at the same time before looking at each other, 'Cleensweep 3's!' they both said before running to hug James' parents and running toward the front door.
'Boys,' said his mother and they stopped, 'it's 1:00 in the morning in the middle of winter, why don't you wait until morning?' She asked and they came back grinning sheepishly.
'Hehe...' Sirius said.
'Didn't think of that,' James said.
They unwrapped the rest of their presents and made their way back up to bed, barely able to wait for dawn to come.
-Lily-
Dawn broke and on the other side of London and Lily Evans awoke to the sound of her sister thundering down the stairs.
She got up and changed with practised care before going downstairs. It wasn't until she reached the bottom that she remembered it was Christmas. She ran into the living room and sat down with Petunia and her parents to start unwrapping presents. She got to the present from her parents and saw them smiling as she opened it, inside were a pair of beautiful emerald earrings, set in silver an cut into perfect hearts that seemed to be hanging on a silver climbing rose. She squealed in excitement before running to give her parents each a hug. She unwrapped the rest of her presents and to her surprise she found nothing from Potter. He had sent her something every year since they met and she was thoroughly sick of the embarrassing comments that her parents always made.
'Lily what did James get you?' her mother asked.
'Potter didn't get me anything,' she said, stressing the word to get her point across.
'Okay Lily, it's just that you never stop talking about him and that makes it seem as though you like him,' her mother reasoned, leaving Lily shocked at the flawed logic.
'The only time I talk about him is when I'm complaining about him Mum!'
'Alright then Lily, I'll take your word for it,' she said, obviously not meaning a word of what she said.
Lily groaned in frustration and went into the kitchen once the rest of the presents were unwrapped. She had received another charm for her friendship bracelet from Monica and she attached it as she walked. She helped her parents make a Christmas breakfast of eggs and bacon with toast, kippers, fried mushrooms and tomatoes. They chatted happily as they ate though her mother would give her a knowing smile every so often. Even with this mild annoyance, the breakfast was a huge success in Lily's mind. It wasn't often that she was able to have a civil conversation with her sister, Petunia, so every special occasion left her feeling happy.
After helping to clear the table and wash up, she walked back upstairs. It was annoying that Potter managed to get on her nerves when he wasn't even around, her mother should surely have known better than to bring him up, and on Christmas Day no less. Oh well at least he didn't get me anything this year, she thought.
She heard a tapping on the window as she entered her room and saw an owl there, an owl that she instantly recognised as Potter's. She groaned as she opened the window and took the letter from it. She opened it, expecting it to be some stupid proclamation of his love but on the parchment there were only two words 'I'm sorry'.
She and put the letter on the desk so that she could check it for spells later before going back downstairs to enjoy Christmas Day with her family.
What do you think? Please review and let me know if I should keep it going or not.
Jousche
