Forenote: I know a lot of people dismiss the DracoHermione shipping before they read it, because they think it's 'wrong' and 'gross' and 'impossible'. That is what makes reading and writing DHr fics so fun! It's a very broad shipping that can cover anything. And let me tell you, it is only 'wrong' and 'gross' because of the circumstances. If you look at it objectively, Draco and Hermione actually have a lot in common. If they met under a different situation, they could've become friends I think. Maybe even more :

Disclaimer: All characters and places are property of JK Rowling, I don't own anything D:

8 Ways to Kiss Mudblood Granger

Kiss One – In the head's common room

She didn't mean to do it. It was a terrible, terrible mistake which nobody could ever fix, and she felt as if she could jump off the Astronomy tower for her unspeakable sin. Hermione sat glumly in the toilet cubicle for the umpteenth time that week, thinking about what she had done and feeling as if she wanted to puke her guts out.

She had kissed Draco Malfoy.

On the lips. For real.

It happened two nights ago, in the head's common room. The prefects had been invited for an evening Halloween dinner with the Head Boy and Girl, and of course she, along with Ron had come along expecting great food from the dinner, which of course they got.

Great food, including Butterbeer and Firewhiskey.

Butterbeer and Firewhiskey, which included alcohol as an ingredient, which was one of the things Hermione simply could not overcome the power of. Yes, she could conjure anything the teachers wanted her to. Yes, she passed all of her OWLs with 'Outstanding's. No, she could not take alcohol.

Ron had offered her a mug of Butterbeer, which she politely declined, knowing that her alcohol-tolerance was next to non-existent. However, Ernie Macmillan, the Hufflypuff git who she thought she could actually trust, thought it would be funny to see the usually uptight and bossy Hermione Granger, unpassable brick wall to rule breakers and the favourite student of every teacher excluding Professor Snape (who doesn't really count, because he's a slimeball), in a state of tipsiness, and so spiked her pumpkin juice with half a cup of Firewhiskey.

And believe it or not, half a cup was more than enough.

But he got more than just tipsiness, yes he did. Hermione was a monster when she was drunk, and according to what she picked up the pieces of the morning after from various parties present at the dinner, she had completely trashed the common room. As the Head Boy and Girl were trying best they could to mend the remains of a broken glass coffee table, she had grabbed Draco Malfoy by the collar and pushed him onto the nearest sofa, and according to Hannah Abbott, shared between them what looked like a 'long, mighty good snog'.

And all that in front of Ron.

What the hell had Macmillan been thinking?! She'd sworn that the next time she caught sight of him he would spend a month in the hospital wing, but he had mysteriously disappeared from the Hogwarts Grounds altogether. Well, that was what it seemed like anyway.

At least he knew what was good for him, she thought bitterly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Draco Malfoy was in the middle of Charms class as Hermione Granger was sulking in the loo. Smirking slightly as he noticed that the muggle-born scum was actually not present in the classroom for the first time in six years, he saw that the classroom was nonetheless more lively than usual. Girls were giggling to each other as they shared gossip like always, stealing a glance at him every few minutes, which Draco thought was incredibly annoying.

In addition to all this, the Slytherin scanned the room to find Potty and Weasel King scowling at him. What was up with that? Didn't their mothers ever teach them not to stare? Well, Potter had an eligible excuse seeing as he didn't have one, but Weasley might as well have not had one either, with the manners he possessed.

Finally, he realised what everyone was talking about. Or who, more precisely.

It was him they were talking about. Him and his kiss with Mudblood Granger two nights ago.

Bloody hell, hadn't they heard that it was an accident? That Granger had been drunk at the time and had simply grabbed him by the collar, threw him on a couch and started exchanging spit with him? Would they just give it a rest? Obviously not, because a second year boy had come up to him before class to ask him if it was true that he had met her in India on a boy scout trip and was madly in love with her. Needless to say, Draco had told the little bugger to stuff off and to get his facts straight because he hated Granger, had never been to India and had no idea what a boy scout, let alone have been one.

Indeed, he was distressed about the whole ordeal as well. He had considered throwing the drunken girl off him, but he had a moral to never hit girls (no matter how odd it sounded for the bully others knew as Draco Malfoy. Half of those bully stories were Crabbe and Goyle's work but it was convenient for him anyway, because less people came to bother him to borrow notes after class or whatever due to sheer fear). Plus, he couldn't even move his arms due to the fact that Granger had pinned them down onto the sofa with her hands and all he could do was thrash his legs around as the whole thing happened. Draco was in a state of relapse for the whole of yesterday.

Yes, he was still very upset about kissing a Mudblood.

No, it didn't help that the whole class was recounting the events, painful detail by painful detail.

Draco Malfoy gingerly licked his lips to moisten them, aware of the fact that a certain Mudblood Granger's mouth had been there less than 48 hours ago.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After venting all her frustration at the cubicle door, Hermione began to feel the strain on her heart loosen and picked up her things, swinging the wooden door of the girls' bathroom behind her. Obviously still thinking about the events that had occurred on Halloween, she failed to notice that, as fate would have it, Draco Malfoy came storming out of Charms class and into her.

The two literally collided with each other, ending up on the floor with sore backs. Hermione felt every ounce of frustration and anger flow back into her.

And Malfoy was not happy either, not one bit.

"What the hell are you thinking about, look where you're looking, Granger!" he barked at the distressed girl. Amused passers-by stopped to watch the argument.

"Hah! That's what I should be asking you, Malfoy," she said venomously, her words dripping with poison.

"Oh, so now this is my fault, is it?" the boy retorted, getting back up. "Unlike you, Granger, I actually have things to do other than moping around the loos, so if you excuse me --" Hermione snorted.

"Why would I be moping? I'm not the one who walks around school as if I own the place, yet knowing that I am hated by most of the student body," she huffed.

"Last time I checked, Potty and Weasel King don't account for most of the student body," he sneered.

"Come on Malfoy, you know it, I hate you, she hates you, he hates you…" Hermione pointed out random members of the growing audience that was fixed on their fight.

"Oh, you hate me," he sneered. "Really now?"

"Yes really now!" She wanted to scream at him and wipe the smug expression right off his pale, stupid, Malfoy face.

"Judging from the way you kissed me, I'd beg to differ," he responded cooly but with not without force, knowing that this was where the Gryffindor's weakness lay and would almost certainly evoke a violent response.

And it did. Hermione Granger grew red with fury and stormed past the boy, pushing him to one side purposely as she went. Malfoy staggered back from the force of the blow, and strode off in the opposite direction, apparently muttering something about girls and their tempers…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I could beat him up for you if you wanted me to," Ron said flatly, but with a begging look in his eyes.

"That'll make it worse, and you know it," Hermione replied, flattered that Ron cared for her enough to take revenge for her on the Slytherin scum known as Draco Malfoy. Still, she thought, it would be bad for her reputation if a boy were sticking up for her. She was a strong girl and would fight her own battles, a decision she had made many years ago.

"I'm surprised you haven't murdered him yet, Hermione," Harry joked weakly, trying to light up the situation. After all, Hermione was one of the few, if not the only girl who'd had the honour of punching Malfoy's sorry face and lived to tell the tale. Known to be the stuff of Hogwart's legend, Hermione Granger punching Draco Malfoy in their third year had been the gossip for a week after the school had seen Draco's nose after being patched up by Madam Pomfrey -- Harry reckoned it had never returned to how it used to be. The best thing was, teachers like Snape couldn't do anything about it, since there was no proof and Malfoy would never admit to getting his arse kicked by a girl.

The three were sitting in the library, under the watchful nose of Madam Pince (which was saying something, considering the size of her nose), finishing off their homework. This was where Hermione most felt at home and spent a great deal of her time when not in class – Ron and Harry never visited it much, but decided to come along just this time to cheer up their friend after the whole Malfoy ordeal, which they understood must have been hard on her.

So imagine their annoyance when Colin Creevey raced into the library and shouted loudly, much to the anger of Madam Pince, "Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy are to report to the Headmaster's office!"

Ron stood up quickly and violent, making a move for the shrimpy fifth-year, when Harry held him back by the collar.

"Him… stupid midget… I'll teach him a lesson, he…" Ron's ears grew red, a dangerous sign, but Harry didn't let go.

"It's all right Ron. I'll go," Hermione shuffled all her things back into her bag, and stood up from the seat when Draco Malfoy glided silently past the trio's table with a look of fury on his face that would rival Ron's. Harry let go of Ron, who was breathing deeply in some effort to calm himself down which was obviously not happening soon.

All the boys could do for her were stare as they saw the back of her head exit the double doors of the library, closely followed by the silvery-blonde locks of Draco Malfoy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"It has come to my attention that you two have some… ahem, differences that you should sort out, according to the Heads who saw you bickering in the corridors this morning," Dumbledore said amusedly, peering wisely through his half-moon glasses at the duo before him. "Now, if one of you could kindly share with me the story of the events that occurred on the evening Halloween…" Although he said it in such a way that suggested that he already knew.

"Why don't you ask Ernie MacMillian," Hermione spat bitterly, staring fixedly at an empty portrait on the wall, determined not to meet the wise twinkling blue eyes of the Headmaster, nor the cold grey of her enemy. She heard Malfoy snort beside her.

"Why not ask the whole group of Prefects and the Heads about how she nearly raped me?" he joked harshly.

"Ah, but I presume this was an accident?" Dumbledore knowingly smiled to himself. The similarities between the two students really were striking. They were both stubborn and knew how to fight fire with fire. It really was a strange case as to why they were enemies.

"Of course it was Professor!" Hermione snapped at him. "Do you really think I would kiss… him," she spat, "on my own accord?!" Malfoy simply rolled his eyes.

"Calm down, Miss Granger. Ernie MacMillan has already confessed to his crime and, not to worry, he will be on supervised detentions with Professor McGonagall for the rest of the month," Dumbledore saw the girl's mouth begin to open again, but silenced her with a gesture of his hand. "The reason you are here is not because of that. Arguments in the corridor are frowned upon, even if not against the rules," he said and sighed, then continued. "Hogwarts, as the Sorting Hat has continually said, should promote inter-house unity. This is a case of precisely the opposite of that, Mister Malfoy and Miss Granger."

"And what exactly do you mean by that, Professor?" Malfoy drawled.

"I am curious, why do you dislike each other so much?" Dumbledore asked, straightening up.

"Because she's –" Draco stopped before the word 'mudblood' escaped his lips. It was definitely not good enough a reason to argue over, and being only second to Granger in terms of intelligence, he promptly shut up.

"Malfoy is bigheaded, selfish and a Slytherin," Hermione hissed poisonously. She really did not care that she came across as rude to her Headmaster, blurting out all the reasons she hated her enemy was worth it.

"So you are saying you are judging him based on the fact that he is in a different house to your own?" Dumbledore raised a white eyebrow.

"I, no – that's not what I meant… I mean, it's just Slytherin…"

"May I remind you, Miss Granger, that it was Mister MacMillan, a Hufflepuff, who slipped alcohol into your drink on Halloween," Dumbledore said, amused by the teenager's feeble argument. Hermione couldn't think of anything to respond with, and merely turned a deep pink. The infamous Hermione Granger had finally been caught out. Malfoy could've danced. Dumbledore continued to talk, ignoring Hermione's silence.

"It would be nice to see more inter-house unity around the place. But I guess it's impossible for Gryffindors and Slytherins to settle their differences," he shrugged.

"I'll see you both around later. I do believe you have a History of Magic lesson in five minutes. Ta!" Dumbledore smiled wisely at the bewildered expressions of the two before him. Without a choice, Draco and Hermione exited the Headmaster's office with a lot to digest.

As they approached Professor Binn's classroom, having had some time to think over what Dumbledore had told them, Draco turned to Hermione and said, "Listen, I don't really… that is to say," he fumbled over his words – it really was hard for him, "I guess what I want to say is, I'm sorry for the stuff I've put you through over the years." He thought he would explode from the inside. Had the really just apologised to Mudblood Granger? What the hell was the world coming to?!

Hermione was at a loss for words. "Well… erm… I guess, I am too?"

"Don't take that as an invitation for friendship," he retorted coldly. "I just don't want to be pulled into Dumbledore's office again. Don't think you're getting chummy with me, Granger."

With that, he stalked off into the classroom, leaving a thoroughly confused Hermione standing in the corridor, one eyebrow raised.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Phew! The end of the first chapter! I'm not sure how I'll do this, it's very hard to get two people who hate each other together… of course Dumbledore will play a major role : There will be 8 chapters in this mini-series, but I may be rushing ahead too quickly. I'm doing this as a contrast to the marauder fics I'm writing, since I need a break from Sirius and James every so often. Remember, don't dismiss the idea of DHr so easily!!! Please review! zmallet