I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to the talented Stephanie Meyers.
Starting on page 411 of New Moon
What if Edward hadn't called?
I know that look in his eyes. I know Jacob is going to kiss me, but I haven't made a decision about this yet. Should I let him kiss me? I love Jacob, but am I in love with him? I know Edward wanted me to move on, but I don't know if I can. What will Alice say? Should that matter? She isn't staying forever and when she leaves it will just be me again, me and Jacob.
As his head bends towards mine I feel the heat radiating from his face, and also from the big hands gently holding my face. I know my cheeks must be flushed, but I really can't tell if it's from heat, embarrassment or excitement. Although I am reluctant to admit it the thought of kissing Jacob does excite me a little.
Then his warm lips are on mine and I can smell his woodsy sent all around me. I can't help but compare this kiss to Edwards. Jacob's lips are warm and the give and take with my own, unlike Edwards cold marble lips which mine always had to mould to. Edwards's kisses ignite me, they make me loose control, this kiss is warm and safe and although not a roaring fire I have to admit there is a spark, it's like a small light pulling me towards Jacob. It may be small, but it is there.
I give in, I let go and just enjoy the moment. My lips part and he is there in my mouth tasting, probing teasing me with his tongue. Without knowing how they got there I realize my hands are fisted in his silky hair, I pull him closer deepening the kiss. I can feel him warmth all the way down to my toes an in all the places in between.
Am I really ready for this? Honestly I don't know, but I don't stop him. I don't want to stop him.
A sudden though catches me off guard. Jacob doesn't need to stop. He doesn't need to worry about killing me if he gets too carried away. If I pursue this thing with him, we could have a normal relationship. No holding back, no caution, but a future. A future with my Jacob. I know Charlie and Billy would love it, but would I? If the Cullen's didn't come back would the Pack still be needed? Would Jacob begin to age again? We could grow old together.
A quick glimpse into a life with Jacob flashed in my mind; me with two beautiful children, both with his black hair and warm russet skin. The image is so vivid I gasp, but Jacob takes it for encouragement he moves one hand to fist in my hair and the other moves to my lower back and he pulls me even closer. I'm getting too hot, in more ways then one.
I pull my head back ending the kiss. We are both breathing raggedly.
"Wow." He says a little breathlessly as he stares into my face.
"Yeah, wow. You kissed me."
"Yeah, I kissed you, but more importantly, you kissed me back." He has the biggest smile on his face and his eyes are bright with excitement. He is in this moment the absolute embodiment of my sun, my rock, my Jacob.
"Jake, I don't know if I'm ready for this yet." I duck my head so he can't see how scared and embarrassed I am. If I keep pushing him away I will lose my best friend, but right now I don't know if I want him as just my friend anymore.
"I think I knew that Bells." He cups my cheek with one of his big warm hands and turns my face up to meet his eyes. "I'm not going to rush you; we have all the time you need. Just think about it. Okay? We could have a normal life Bella and you don't have to change anything to be with me. Plus you already know Charlie would approve." He flashes me his big grin again as he reaches up to brush my hair off of my face. "Just think about it?"
"Sure sure." We hear the horn honk, Jarred must be getting impatient.
"I better go or we're going to miss the funeral. I'll call you later ok?"
"Yeah, okay." He hugs me close and kisses to top of my head as I rest my cheek against his broad warm chest. He takes a deep breath, sighs and steps back.
"See you later Bells." And then he's gone and I stand in my kitchen staring at nothing.
Even if I choose to stay with Jacob, he could imprint on someone else and then I would be all alone again. Would it be the same as with Edward, or would it be worse. I think of Leah, she seems so bitter, could I really blame her, she put all her eggs in Sam's basket, and he kicked it out of his way to get to Emily. Poor Leah, would I be like that?
And then there is Victoria to consider too. She could kill Jake or one of the other wolves to get to me. Would she stop coming after me when she found out Edward dumped me?
I couldn't help it I chuckled to myself there in my outdated kitchen. How many normal girls can say that the only thing standing between them and their happily every after are a crazy vindictive vampire and an ancient Quileute legend about werewolf soul mates.
That's all for now, please let me know what you think.
