Chapter 1: All his Fault!

Seven years is an awfully long time to be away. I had completely lost my sense of time. Droy and Jet were now so much older than me, so were the other wizards that were left at Fairy Tail while we were gone on our s-class mage promotion trial.

I had had a lot of things to think about as soon as I got back, like what I was going to do to prevent the events of the trials from repeating themselves. I was not going to sit by and watch as my comrades fall beside me again. I had been so terribly useless! What had I been able to do to help Gajeel while he fought off those two wizards from Grimoire Heart? Nothing! I had been absolutely useless!

"So you don't care what happens to me?"

"I 'aint said that!"

"But you just fight with everything… you don't think anything of me! Nothing at all…"

"Oh so that's it? You think you can take me on little one? Then you'd better get big and strong to face me head on!"

"I'm weak… that's just how it is. I'm small…"

"Sheesh you got better things to do than get depressed…"
He'd never understood me. All he'd ever been was some hard-hearted dragon who's only interest was fighting. What had I expected? How could someone who was raised by a dragon even understand feelings like worry or compassion, never mind love…?

Those were the things that preoccupied me while I sat in front of the guild, watching the chickens run around their pen. Those were the things that robbed me of the peace of mind I needed to be able to read again like I used to. To be honest I hadn't touched a single book since my return to Magnolia, or well, in this case its outskirts.

"What's wrong with him? And I thought maybe he wasn't so bad. He's such a jerk… I hate him… I hate him! I hate him..."

But he'd saved me… and part of me hated him for it. I wanted to be mad at him for having been so reckless! I wanted to be mad at him for making me worry so much! But most of all… I hated myself for having let him get that injured.

While he'd been lying there battered and unconscious at our base camp on Tenrou Island and the Grimoire Heart wizards had come to attack us, I had been so incredibly desperate! The only thing that I had wanted in that moment was to protect him! I just had to! But then, the others did most of the work… I was useless again. I had been just like those girls in the novels that could do nothing on their own. They would always rely on some guy to protect them. He had promised to make me big… but it was my own responsibility to become big, to grow strong. How could I have been foolish enough to believe that Gajeel would magically make me stronger?

I felt tears come to my eyes. How silly of me to sit here and feel sorry for myself! It was over so why did it preoccupy me like it did? Why did I feel like it was pushing down on my chest, robbing me of the air I needed to breathe?

It's tough finding someone as small as you… so don't leave my side!

I covered my face with my hands as tears began to run down my flushed cheeks and a pitiful sob escaped my throat. It was all his fault! It was because of him that I was feeling this way! What was he thinking saying those kinds of things to me in the middle of a battle, right after saving my life?

Stupid, stupid Gajeel!

"Levy?" I gasped quietly, not having expected anyone to be out here with me. They were all inside, celebrating our return… how could anyone have noticed that I was gone? But a certain celestial wizard had and somehow I was glad that she was the one coming to check on me. "I saw you leave and thought you were just going out for some fresh air but then you didn't come back."

"Guess I'm not really in the mood to celebrate." I admitted, making space on the rock that I was sitting on so that she could join me. "Have you been crying?!" Lucy gasped, scanning my face worriedly. "Guess so." I admitted, playing with the ends of my orange dress nervously. How was I going to explain all of this to her? I hardly understood how I was feeling myself! "Do you wanna talk about it?" She shifted her eyes away from me, probably to give me some time to consider her offer, watching the setting sun instead. "Things have just gotten so messed up." I admitted, watching the sunset now too. At least that was something that hadn't changed in those seven years: the sun still set in much the same way as it had back then. It was comforting to know that I was still looking at the same sun and was still going to see the same stars soon. "You know," Lucy took a moment to think about what she was going to say, letting out a content sigh right before starting her sentence, "I guess I get what you're saying but some amazing things have happened too. Romeo has gone and gotten all grown up now, we're still alive and we all made it back to Fairy Tail that still exists even without having had Master Makarov around over the past seven years." A moment of silence followed in which I processed what she was saying, trying my hardest to think only of the positive things she was listing up for me, "On top of that, don't you think we've grown so much closer and so much stronger? Every time we face an enemy that seems far too powerful to defeat we grow that much closer together. I think it's because of that that we manage to overcome every challenge: because we grow during that struggle not as a team, but as a family."

"But what if I haven't grown at all?" I felt my cheeks warm up. Why was I admitting to this? "I tried so hard to protect Gajeel but-."

"Did Gajeel die?" I frowned. What was she getting at? What did that have to do with my strength?

"No…"

"And did he defeat those Grimoire Heart wizards?"

"Yes but-."

"Didn't you do enough then?" She smiled at me, probably finding the confused look on my face amusing, "Gajeel fought those people to defend you. You were the one who gave him the strength to do that."

"He had been looking for a fight the whole time!" I felt my temper rise a little just thinking about how selfish Gajeel had been, "The only reason he fought so hard was because he had finally gotten the fight he had been looking for."

"Somehow I don't think so... Back when he first joined the guild I probably would have said the same but… not anymore." The smile had fallen off her features while I had been speaking and I must say, I missed it somehow. "He only partnered with me so that he could beat up Erza or Natsu, he even said so himself!" Again I felt tears want to come to my eyes but I refused to cry about this, especially in front of Lu-chan. "If that was the only thing he had been out for, don't you think he would have teamed up with someone else?"

"I'll make you big."

I closed my eyes for a moment, forcing the memory of him saying that out of my mind. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just forget all of that?!

"Give him a chance." Lucy draped her arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to her to comfort me. Was it that obvious that I felt as though I was losing my mind? "One chance." I bit down on my bottom lip, "And you better believe that I'm gonna get him back for all those stupid comments he threw at me during the whole trial!"
"Now that's the Levy I know." Lucy giggled, squeezing me gently, "You show 'em."

"I will." I felt a smile spread across my face. It felt good to smile again and I knew it was all thanks to Lucy that it was happening.

I'm gonna make myself big!

It was strange how normal everything felt despite it being the exact opposite. Somehow even though we'd missed seven years, it didn't quite feel like it. Sure some people had gotten older and two specific wizards had gotten married and had a child, which pretty much knocked Erza out when she heard it, but…. They were still the same people as before. Droy and Jet hadn't changed one bit either. Okay maybe they'd become even clingier since I'd been back and sure Droy did gain some weight but they were still the same Droy and Jet as before.

"Let me take that for you." The books I had been carrying were lifted out of my hands immediately without him having waited for me to decline his offer. With a huge smile, Droy carried my books over to a table that stood a little to the side of the tavern hall, making it a good place to read. "Thanks Droy." I shot him a short smile, "That's really nice of you."
"Sure thing Levy!" He nodded, sitting down at the table and waiting for me to join him, "Jet and I are just so glad that you're back."

That's right… I had been gone for seven years. It had only felt like a moment for me but these two were all alone for seven whole years! "I'm really sorry that you had to go through that." I traced the pattern on one of the books with my eyes, feeling the need to distract myself. "It's okay." He continued to smile like a fool, "It wasn't your fault you know?"

"I suppose." I nodded before opening one of the books, getting out my glasses and reading a little.

"So wait." I heard Natsu speak up, "You can use fire magic too now?" He was talking to little Romeo who was showing off his flames proudly. "Yup! All sorts of different ones!"
"That 'aint too bad for a kid." My head snapped up involuntarily. It was only after he had spoken that I noticed that that iron-head was actually sitting at the table with Natsu and Romeo and he… was smiling. There was no point in denying that I felt myself smiling too after a few seconds and that I was glad to see him smile again, even if it was just a little. "What happened on that island?" Droy's voice brought me back to reality and I cleared my throat, looking away and at Droy instead. He looked uncomfortable to me, his chubby cheeks having gained a rather prominent red tinge. "A lot." I laughed but realized that that was not the answer he was looking for, "Well at first the trials went well," I started my tale, finding it almost surreal to be talking about it again, as if it had all just been a dream and not reality, "Right in the middle of the second round we were ambushed by Grimoire Heat."

"Gajeel was your partner right?" I nodded, realizing only then that he had actually wanted to know about that part in particular. He'd probably heard the rest from Master Makarov by now anyway, "Did he at least protect you?"

"Yes." I let my eyes drift to the dragon slayer again, "He did protect me."

"Did he try take advantage of the situation?"

"What? No!" I felt my mouth twist into some sort of squiggly line that I couldn't really associate with a certain feeling. What was Droy thinking? That Gajeel and I had gotten together because he helped me? Yes he saved me and yes that was… pretty… amazing… but! That didn't mean that I would turn into some Juvia-double and run after him hoping to get his attention! He had done what any other Fairy Tail member would have done!

I frowned.

That's right… he only did what everyone would have done. Why did that leave a sour taste in my mouth? Why had I hoped that he'd done it for me and not due to his loyalty towards Fairy Tail?

Oh this was just ridiculous! I was thinking about it again! If things kept going like this I'd never get anywhere, never mind become stronger!

Stupid Gajeel… it's all his fault!

That same day Lucy and Natsu were standing at our request board, scrutinizing the few jobs we were being offered. To say the least, Fairy Tail had lost a lot of members, our old guild hall and loads of jobs so getting it all started again would prove to be a long journey. "What about this one?" Natsu pointed at one, giving Lucy a very enthusiastic look. Said girl sighed, shaking her head. "I'm gonna go with this one." She tore a flyer off, holding it up for Natsu to see. "Alright!" Natsu's eyes lit up, "A wanted criminal? That's so cool!"

After about ten minutes they had established that they were going to a ball that the man who had offered them the job was holding in order to catch the criminal. "But I can't dance!" Natsu whined so loudly that everyone's attention was drawn to the two of them. "That's no problem, I can teach you." Lucy smiled gently, taking his hand and leading him outside. Okay so this was something everyone had to see! As a result, we were all making our way outside to watch Natsu and Lucy dance.

But as was normal for Fairy Tail, everyone ended up joining in. Lucy dancing with one of her celestial spirits, Natsu with Lisanna, Erza with Elfman right before said man threw up and me… well I was standing on the sidelines, watching everyone dance. Don't get me wrong, it didn't bother me that much but somehow, as I watched everyone dance and laugh, I did wish I could join in. "Hey." I jumped a little, not being able to recall at what point Gajeel had come to stand next to me. His arms were crossed and his eyes were seemingly on the crowd of dancing guild members while in reality he was looking at me from the corner of his eye, "Just so you know: I 'aint dancing!"

"Well that's fine!" I felt myself frown, "Because no one asked you to!"
"We'll dance with you Levy!" Droy and Jet hurried over to me, both trying to grab my hand but both failing miserably at it seeing as they were wrestling each other at the same time. I sighed. Things really hadn't changed that much at all… Looks like I wasn't going to have a dance partner after all. I was so busy paying attention to Jet and Droy that it startled me when a hand reached in, taking my hand firmly and pulling me towards him. It was Gajeel. "Well," He averted his eyes almost like a sulking child, "Seems like I don't have much of a choice since you insist."

"I didn't say anything!" I protested but found myself following his lead nonetheless. Do you know that feeling when you dance with someone and it just fits? Well that was totally not what it felt like with Gajeel! Even if it had felt that way… I am just not going to go there! I watched his face a little while we danced, noticing that he seemed to be feeling uncomfortable. What I also noticed was that his cheeks were decorated with a hardly visible tint of red. I'd say it almost suited him. Well it definitely made him seem more human and less dragon. Why did he seem so uncomfortable though? Was it because he was dancing or because he was dancing with me? It doesn't matter. I told myself, trying to expel the negative thoughts from my mind. "You're not so bad." I complimented him, taking a moment to concentrate on the feeling of his hand resting against my lower back. "Thanks. Same goes for you Squid."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"And since when do I listen to what you tell me to do?" Granted… He never had but still! Couldn't it be different this time? Despite my frustration I felt a tiny little tug at the corners of my mouth and I shook my head a little at how much of a jerk Gajeel could be. Whatever. I let it drop, settling on concentrating more on the feeling of dancing with Gajeel. To be honest, I never thought that he could be so gentle and to say the least, it impressed me, if not reassured me in some way.

Stupid… My hand tightened around his shoulder and for the first time since we'd started dancing, he looked at me, his crimson eyes studying my brown ones carefully, Stupid Gajeel… And seconds later a silly grin forced its way onto my face.

It was, after all, still all his fault!