Title: Lying
Author: perfectioninmypride
Summary: One lie. One lie was all it took to mould a life. "Watching his nephew cry tore at his soul.. He didn't want to lie to him..." Told from Yashamaru's POV. ONESHOT
AN: Yashamaru is a character who we don't see a lot of, but he was obviously very much a part of Gaara's life. I changed canon ever so slightly at the end. I just really wanted to write this :)
Please R & R, I will love you forever :D
Lying – Part One
The moon was full. It was a quiet night in Sunagakure. Yashamaru leapt over the rooftops in search.
He was reluctant.
The Kazekage had ordered it, a mission to test his youngest son. Yashamaru thought it was wrong. Everything that man did seemed to be wrong. His actions only hurt people.
The night was calm. Yashamaru had no trouble spotting the small, red-headed boy. He was sitting alone, staring at his hands.
Alone. Always alone. Gaara had never had anyone but Yashamaru, and now his father was taking him away too. Yashamaru sighed. The night would be calm no longer.
Yashamaru stopped behind the boy. Hands shaking, he drew out the kunai and threw them. As expected, a wall of sand rose up, defending Gaara's small frame.
Quickly, the child turned around. There was shock evident on his face. His surprised turned quickly to anger.
Yashamaru swiftly drew out more kunai and flung them at his nephew. As soon as the blades left his hands, he knew it wouldn't work. He was glad.
Gaara's sand snaked around Yashamaru's feet. It twisted, surrounded him. Yashamaru was enveloped in it, unable to move or escape.
The child's fists clenched in fury. It crushed Yashamaru's body, breaking bones. When the sand let him go, he collapsed. Lying there, he waited.
His orders had been to corner Gaara psychologically. The Kazekage didn't trust his son. Yashamaru's precious nephew… Yashamaru prepared himself mentally for the completion of this mission.
Gaara's attack had hurt him, but Yashamaru was about to wound Gaara much, much more.
The small child crept closer. Reaching out, Gaara crabbed the cloth covering Yashamaru's face with his small hands.
"Who?… Why?" he stuttered. When he uncovered his assailant, the expression on his face looked like his heart had been ripped out of his body.
Yashamaru smiled a little. It wasn't a pleasant smile, more like a grimace.
"Lord Gaara… Impressive."
Gaara grabbed at his chest, fingers digging into where his heart would be.
"Yashamaru…" he said, wide eyed, afraid.
Yashamaru watched him. He watched his small nephew process the fact that his uncle had just tried to kill him. He saw Gaara start to break, to lose control over the demon inside. The small boy collapsed onto his knees.
"Aaaaagh.. Aaaah…"
The tears streamed from his blue eyes. He grabbed his head, and looked at Yashamaru.
"W-Why? Why…W-why is it? Why you?"
His eyes drove daggers into Yashamaru's. Yashamaru closed his eyes to avoid the look. Gaara sobbed. The sound was heart-wrenching.
"Always… Your were always…Only you were my…" Gaara rubbed his eyes. Yashamaru opened his.
Quietly, he spoke:
"It was an order. I was ordered to assassinate you."
Confusion and shock were evident on the child's face. Yashamaru continued.
"By your father… The Kazekage."
The revelation was too much for Gaara. He moaned in pain.
"Father… Why would he want me dead?"
Yashamaru felt his heart stop for a moment. This was it. He had to tell Gaara the truth.
"You were born to be possessed by the Sand Shukaku. Until today, you have been watched over as an experimental subject."
Yashamaru breathed in. It hurt his chest.
"However, you are yet unable to control the powers of the living spirit Shukaku. Before long your existence will become too dangerous to the village itself. We simply couldn't let that happen."
Yashamaru watched as Gaara lifted his head. a new emotion flickered through Gaara's face. It was hope.
"So, then, you had no choice… It was because of father…" said Gaara, with a small smile.
Watching his nephew cry tore at his soul. He didn't want to lie to him, but he was a shinobi. Lying was part of the job. His next words would hurt Gaara, but he had to deceive him.
"No. You are mistaken."
Gaara's face fell. Yashamaru steeled himself for his next words
"Yes, I did receive Kazekage's orders. But… I would've declined if I wanted to."
Yashamaru stared off into the night sky. He couldn't meet Gaara's gaze, not for this. A soft wind blew, too gentle, too calm for this moment. Yashamaru shuddered. Was he cold? Or was it something else?
"Lord Gaara… Deep down I must have always resented you… coming into this world, stealing life away from my beloved sister."
It wasn't true. It hurt him that he had to say that. He had never hated Gaara. It wasn't his fault that his bastard of a father had sealed the spirit in him.
Gaara had fallen silent. It added to the stillness of the desert. Nothing moved, but the breeze. Yashamaru compelled himself to look at Gaara.
The boy his precious sister had given his life for. Now he was the one that was dying, but not to protect Gaara. His death would only cause Gaara pain.
"I tried my best to love you, by thinking of you as a memento of her…"
That was true. Yashamaru had always loved Gaara. He was all he had left of Karura.
"She never wished to give birth to you. She was sacrificed for the village and therefore died while cursing at it."
Yashamaru wished he could tell Gaara how much his mother had loved him. How her spirit was protecting him at all times. But his orders prevented it. He was the Kazekage's right arm, a ninja of the sand. He had to follow through.
"Perhaps, from that moment. I've been carrying never healing emotional scars…"
Hadn't he told Gaara the same thing only hours earlier?
"Your mother gave you your name. This child's name… is Gaara. A demon that loves only himself. Love only yourself and fight only for your sake. She wished and believed your existence was forever, as long as you did so."
Yashamaru shivered. Yes, it was definitely getting colder.
"But she didn't give you the name out of concern or love for you. The name was given to you in the hope of your eternal existence, to let her grudge be carried down and known to the world."
Blue eyes locked onto gray ones.
"You were never loved."
It was a lie, a terrible, terrible lie. Gaara, Yashamaru thought, do you know how much she loved you? Do you know that she swore always to protect you? My sister… loved you. Please don't believe what I'm saying out loud…
Gaara remained motionless. Yashamaru couldn't read his face.
He didn't have much time left. Gathering his last breaths, Yashamaru turned to Karura's son. His face was stone, emotionless, while anger, pain, regret raged behind his impassive eyes. He was ready for his last lie.
"This is it. Please die."
The words felt wrong. He didn't want to say them, but he had to. He had to make Gaara believe. He knew Karura's love would protect him.
He activated the tags, all the while in grievous pain. Whether it was emotional, or physical, Yashamaru didn't know. He no longer cared.
Is this what you wanted Kazekage? He asked himself. Are you happy now that you've killed my sister, killed me and doomed your son?
The tags fizzled and caught flame. In the split second moment before the tags blew him apart, Yashamaru whispered.
"I'm sorry Gaara."
The soft wind that always blew in Suna lifted the words from him as they passed through his lips. It carried them away from the dead man, never to be heard by the crying boy.
