Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the associated characters therein.


"Oh ho! I've got you now, Namikaze Minato!" he roared, hands out to his sides. He yelled to the skies, his eyes as fierce as the scattering beasts of the wild. "Come out and face me!"

The blonde haired warrior couldn't help but chuckle. 'This guy, he's got no idea what it means to be a ninja.'

Two three pronged kunai found their place between his fingers. 'Then again, neither do I. I mean, who uses golden kunai in the middle of a forest during daylight?'

'The Golden Flash would!!!'

Minato grinned, and plunged the first kunai into the branch just above him. In the same movement, he launched the second kunai aimlessly through the forest, waiting for that satisfying…

Thunk.

His eyes darted towards the sound. "You've gotten sloppy, Nam-i-kaz-e." Each letter was accented with his Ame drawl, and with the unsheathing of his tri-sectioned sword.

Each piece was popped into place from the hilt, each third of the blade held into place by tight chain links featuring stray hooks. Any time the blade made contact with another weapon, it wrapped around like a snake, making it difficult to disconnect by hand.

Only an expert swordsman would ever think to use a weapon like it.

And he was the greatest.

'No...he's only second best…'

He inhaled…took a deep breath of Konoha forest air...and then vanished in a glint of silvery sparks. "School of Musashi: Strike of Nonthought!!!"

The swordsman reappeared mid-swing, his chain-sword obeying the speed and strength of his flourish as it tore through the wind.

Through the trees.

Through branches.

Through the trunk.

Through Minato's spine.

Through Minato's stomach.

'N-No way! There's no way!'

The sword sliced through the tree as easily as it had cut through the air.

Dead center. Impaled to the other side. There were no splinters...no stray dust particles…It was as if he had been standing there the entire time, as much a part of the trees and foliage as any leaf could have been.

It was as it should have been...because he was the greatest swordsman in the the world...and there, on the other side of that tree, was his greatest opponent.

"You are damned fast, that's for sure." Minato released a low whistle, but only before coughing up a smattering of blood across his cloak. "Faster then I am on a bad day, anyway."

'The Golden Flash doesn't have bad days!!!'

The Ame-nin laughed. "You don't have bad days."

"No…I really don't."

"The Golden Flash does have his last day though, as we all do."

"Haaaa…" A long, drawn out laugh of a man in his death throes. "I look forward to seeing that day...I'll be even more bad ass than I am today. You can believe that, swordsman."

"You speak as though you'll still be alive, Flash."

"Yeah? So do you." And then he vanished in a puff of smoke.

'Wh-what the?!'

"What the...Namikaze!"

A single kunai answered the swordsman's call, and flew through the forest with speed that had put his previous attack to shame. He wouldn't see it coming...it was coming in at the same angle that he had Minato impaled.

It sliced through the trees.

'Get em…'

Through branches.

'Get em, Yellow Flash.'

Through the trunk.

'Get em, Namikaze!!!'

Through the Ame-nin's-

"NARUTO!"

The classroom, previously muted by his imagination, was suddenly live with the activity of 8 and 9 year olds muttering amongst themselves as Iruka stopped in the middle of his rousing lesson on Konoha Tree Splitters to get the dead lasts attention.

"What are you doing, Naruto?" The voice was far, far too friendly to be coming from Iruka-sensei. It was a trap.

"Uh…reading, Iruka-sensei?"

The class broke into murmurs. Naruto? Reading?

The dead last could read?

Kiba smirked, and whispered something to Shikamaru. Five bucks said that it was a comic book.

"Okay, Naruto." He crossed his arms. "Care to share with the class what you're reading?"

This was such a trap...such a trap!

"Uh...The Fourth Chronicles?" Gasps permeated throughout the classroom. Shock and awe on their faces. The dobe had bothered to buy a book outside of class and read it?

Kiba looked around briefly, and also found that Choji had stopped eating. "The hell is going on!?"

"Oh...well, stop reading that, and pay attention, Naruto." Iruka wasn't smiling, but he wasn't yelling, either. It wasn't a trap after all. "And Kiba, see me after class."

The classroom chorused with a giant 'ohhhhhhhhhh'. The universal sound for 'He is so in trouble.'

"And all of you quiet down and...actually…" He ran a hand through his hair in silent exasperation. "Henge Test!"

A collective groan sounded throughout the classroom.

'Why bother telling them that I was going to test them anyway? Better they think that I'm punishing them.' Iruka smirked...and the class collectively shuddered. "Alright! Starting with you, Sakura, transform into the third hokage!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"And the next time you think that you're going to curse in my classroom, I'll ask your mom to sit in here with you." Iruka finished, regarding Kiba with raised eyebrows, "Don't swear in my room again, Kiba."

Kiba, cowed by the sudden threat of having his mother sit in the class (and Iruka-sensei's ability to somehow pull it off) could only nod.

"Excellent. I'll see you tomorrow."

Another nod from the frightened child.

"That means go home, Kiba."

Another nod. A whimper from Akamaru.

"I haven't told your mother, Kiba."

That got the boy running, and Iruka could only give a sigh. He hadn't even left the room yet. He hadn't left since the moment he'd walked into the academy, so how would he have gone to see Kiba's mother?

Fwip.

Kids.

He shook his head bemusedly, and put his pen to the parchment. He began writing down his observations of the class. It was a rule. As a teacher, or pre-nin enrichment instructor for a ninja village, it was up to him to record all things ninja about the youth that he taught.

Kiba didn't know it, but that little display showed that he had below average cognitive and sub-basic problem solving abilities. It reflected badly on his future ability and if one were being realistic, it reflected badly on his general survivability, too.

But then, he'd been surprised before.

Fwip. Fwip.

Just look at Uzumaki-kun.

Yes. Uzumaki Naruto.

Yes, the same Uzumaki Naruto who painted over the historically legendary and well-preserved monument that cost millions yearly for upkeep.

The boy was dumb as a bag of bricks when it came to learning something in a classroom and in basic societal norms. But stick him outside, give him some wire, a kunai, and an explosive tag? He could make a double-layered trap including a high velocity vertical firing kunai.

So yes, the boy was an idiot in terms of basic book smarts. But in terms of actual combat practicality?

No need to say it. Get back to work Iruka.

Fwip. Fwip. Fwip.

"What the...what is that?" For the first time since class ended, Iruka tore his eyes from the stack of observations lying on his desk to the classroom around him.

Desks and chairs arranged in the lecture hall format. The seats were pitched, so that those sitting higher would have visual access to whatever was happening at the bottom.

"Naruto?"

In his usual seat, somewhere in the middle where he could get the attention of the back row kids; Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji, and where he could harass the front row kids; Hinata, Ino, and Sasuke, Naruto sat alone. Save for Shino, who often sat next to Naruto voluntarily, and found himself exempt from Naruto's harassment.

But none of that explained why Naruto was still there.

Fwip.

Naruto turned the page again. "Huh?"

"Huh?" Iruka raised both eyebrows, and clapped his hand against the desk. "Huh?" It came out rather testy. A mocking response meant to teach the boy how to properly address adults. It helped that he was the scariest adult Naruto knew.

Naruto's eyes opened wide, and snapped back up towards Iruka. "I mean, yes sensei?"

"Class has been over for fifteen minutes, Naruto."

Naruto didn't look surprised or ashamed at that; he just stared back with a subdued smile on his face. "Yeah, I know sensei." His eyes drifted back down to the book.

"Not in much of a rush today?"

"Nah, not really." Came the muttered reply.

Iruka stared at the boy for a bit longer, and gave a sigh. He placed the pen next to the Uzumaki report. "Naruto, you do know that you can't stay here all day, right?"

He just stared back, not quite defiantly, but judging by the look in his eyes, the small Uzumaki most certainly disagreed.

Iruka also disagreed. But he wouldn't let Naruto know that. It would be a cold day in hell before he ever admitted to Uzumaki that yes, you really are becoming a skilled ninja.

And so they both stared at each other for several very long moments.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?"

"Go home."

"I can't." Naruto said.

"Why not?"

"There's a little person in my house and he won't leave."