Love?
My parents have always told me that your school years are the best years of your life. Clearly they were teenagers so long ago they've forgotten how messed up the teenage years are for everyone going through it. From the second you hit puberty your life is a spiral, led by the opposite sex and topped up with hormones. Those people you have shared everyday of your school life with change from being someone you've grown up alongside to someone you could picture yourself kissing and spending endless hours in each others arms. It can make any forward thinking girl into a hopeless romantic whose life revolves around whether the one they like will notice they've changed their hair, which they never do, because they're boys, they just notice the short skirts and sudden growth of a girls assets. Like I said, from the moment you hit those dreaded teenage years, your parents try to ignore what's going on in your life. A simple life becomes a downward spiral led by emotions and hormones until you outgrow the angst years and even then there is no reassurance your life will get better in the Love department, if anything, it gets harder.
Love - A wildly misunderstood, although highly malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressures to rise and the lips to pucker. We sing about love in the songs played on the radio, we dream about love - whether it be PG or not, and sometimes we find ourselves staring up at the ceiling losing sleep thinking about it. When we don't have it or know we have it then we search endlessly for it and what happens when we finally discover it? We have absolutely no idea what to do with it, when we discover it for the first time we are far too young to understand the true magnitude of what it could become and live with the fear that we could lose it. It's the constant source of pleasure and pain, but as teenagers in love we have no idea what it can be from one moment to the next and then there are those who protect their heart as a fear of losing it and then are left with the constant nag of What If?
What and If are two of the most non threatening words as two words can be, but put them together side by side they have the power to haunt you for the rest of you life. What If? If you love someone the first time you see them, then why can't it be true love even if you are only eleven. So why not after years pasted would that little inkling of a crush of true love not be true now. You only need the courage to follow your heart and that fluffy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach could be yours. Personally I don't know what true love is like, the type that is scrawled upon the pages of the greatest literature novels in history, the love to leave loved ones for the type of love to risk everything to be with that person. But I'd like to believe, if I ever did feel it, that I would have the courage to seize it and hold onto it for as long as I could. Love. It's a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without.
You need to know before we start, that the two people in this story didn't have what most would call love at first sight. He loved her from the get go but she couldn't stand the sight of him for a long time but they had true love. So what is the difference between love at first sight and true love? Love at first sight is that gushy uncontrollable sweetness you feel towards someone you have might have a crush on. It's the beginning of what could be something long lasting. But true love, now thats something special. True love is not a love you can fall into this is a love that was decided for them, their fate is so entwined with each others that everything about them fits together. They can sense each others presence from the second they enter the room, their hands fit perfectly entwined together, their hearts beat to the same rhythm. They are simply one soul split between to bodies made to be together and no matter how much its denied or how much one tries to fight it they will always find themselves being pulled back together until they both agree they cannot be without each other.
The pages of literature is etched with stories of true love, Romeo and Juliet, Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristan and Isolde, all whose love had everything standing in their way, all who fought hard to stop their feelings, all who knew they whole world was telling them no but all found themselves unable to say no. So why do we continue to write these stories of true love and happiness they type of love that will conquer all. I could pull out the text book answer that they answer the questions we long for, they give ope to those who seek it, that one day they will find their very own Prince Charming but truthfully the reason is a simple one ... It's a story worth telling. So I figured I would do my part for literature and those lonely hearts out their and tell a great love story because it like so many before it and many more to come is one that needs telling. Lily and James, the very definition of true love.
Like any great story whether it be about love or not should start from the very beginning, back then James a scrawny eleven year old boy who didn't show any of the exceptional qualities he's now known for, in fact he was a tiny scruffy haired boy who was two weeks into his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was fitting in perfectly in his surroundings and had already started to develop a small reputation of being the first first year to land themselves in detention for the second time in two weeks. The first was because he had made Lucius Malfoy's cauldron blow up accidentally on purpose and second from sneaking out Gryffindor tower after hours because he and Sirius his room mate and future best friend were bored. A reputation that would precede for years to come, it was growing late and only a few stragglers remained around the room all appeared to be finishing off last minute homework. James was waiting up along with his friend till the common room was deserted so they could sneak up to the hospital wing to visit their room mate Lupin, he had been looking dreadful for days, Madam Pomfry had finally put her foot down and insisted that Lupin spend the night being monitored and nursed back to health.
Yawning James flicked through a copy of the Daily Prophet considering that it really wasn't worth sneaking half way across the school in the dead of night to spend five minutes checking if Lupin was okay to then sneak back across the school, it would be a small miracle if they managed to pulled it off, being honest, he wanted nothing more than to curl into bed and sleep the night away not freeze navigating their way along the corridors of Hogwarts. But he couldn't back out now, Sirius would think he was wimping out having already been caught roaming the school after hours by Filtch that week.
"Maybe we should just go to bed, Sirius," suggested James.
"Don't chicken out on me now,' complained the boy sat lulling in the armchair opposite "This was your idea."
"I know," agreed James "But its almost midnight and its going to be at least an hour before we can leave. It's going to be almost one till we can go see Remus."
"Look I give it half an hour and then we just go anyway," said Sirius "These people are so engrossed with their homework they won't even notice us leaving. We'll get to the hospital wing have a quick check up on Lupin and then come back, it will be half an hour tops and we'll be in bed by two. How does that sound?"
'Okay," agreed James with a yawn him head dropping to one side and that was when he spotted her.
Lily Evans, the red head Gryffindor who hung around with a greasy haired Slytherine, but no matter what people said about her he still found her fascinating in a strange unexplainable way. He watched as the pretty green eyed girl scrolled over pages and pages of parchment and scribbled notes frantically, now James knew she wasn't finishing off last minute homework because Lily never left homework till the last minute. Whatever she was doing she was engrossed with it. Sighing as she attempted to tie her hair up into a pony with a frayed ribbon, after another failed attempt she tossed it angrily to one side.
"Are you listening to anything I'm saying?" said Sirius angrily, if there was one thing James had learnt about Sirius from the last two weeks it was that he didn't like being ignored. From the stories he had told him about his dark arts favoring family he had spent the last eleven years being ignored by his family, you could understand why he would get frustrated when he thought he wasn't being listened to "There are dozens of house elves working in the kitchen and they are so much nicer than creature ... and then the school blew up and we all went to heaven in a little row boat singing whistle down the wind."
"Yeah," replied James subconsciously.
"Who are you looking at?" asked Sirius finally giving up telling his story that didn't have the audience he had wanted for it, he would save it for the morning when he had James full attention.
"No one," replied James a little to quickly for a passing comment.
"It has to be a girl," concluded Sirius "No one else would give you that soppy love sick look."
"I'm not love sick," snapped James "I'm just curious."
"So it is a girl," he grinned attempting to turn around for a glimpse.
"Don't turn around," warned James "She'll know where talking about her."
"Mate," teased Sirius "You've been staring at her half the night I'm pretty sure she's noticed. So if I'm not allowed to turn around you can tell me who it is."
"It's Lily," confessed James,
"The girl who's mates with that Snape boy?"
"Yeah," he grinned goofily.
The look on Sirius face told him he didn't agree with James fascination with the Red head and was just about to start voicing that option when Lily swore loudly in the corner causing everyone to look at her. She furiously tossed the ribbon to one side and covered her face to hide her tears from view, it was only because he knew Lily that he could tell something was really bothering her.
"A bit of a drama queen too," added Sirius.
"She's crying," said James concernedly more to himself than to Sirius, without really thinking of what he was doing he had removed his tatty shoelace from his trainers, pulled out his wand and muttered a few well chosen words. What once was mud covered lace was now a shinny silk red ribbon.
"Oh yeah we go," laughed Sirius "You never approach a girl when she's crying, she's only to bite your head off and you'll be stood wonder what you did wrong."
"When you get a kiss off that McKenzie girl, I will start talking advice about girls from you,"
"You a cruel cruel person James," replied Sirius moving so to have a better seat to watch the scene unfold clearly he thought it was going to be very entertaining. Watching a furious and upset Lily Evans vent every thought she had in her head at James.
"Lily," addressed James carefully, remaining a few steps away so to retreat if it went the way Sirius was hoping it would.
She slammed the book she was reading shut and glared at James for even thinking he could come talk to her. She was a mess, her eyes where blood shot, the tears that rolled down her face now weren't the first of the day. Realizing she still had tears rolling down her face she wiped them quickly away with her sleeve, whilst James pretended she hadn't seen them.
"What do you want?" she snapped "I've had an awful day and I do not want to deal with you."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay?" he said simply.
"Can magic cure muggle illnesses?" she asked miserable, though there was a hint of hope beneath the words, it took James a few seconds to process what she had asked him. That was one thing he would grow to love about Lily Evans, one minute she would be screaming herself hoarse and the next she would be helping a first year who needed directions to a classroom.
"Sometimes," James began to explain "Magic can heal the physical things, it can heal cuts and bruises, it can mend bones in a heartbeat and stop poison in its steps but it can't heel the inevitable, the same way people can't bring loved ones back from the dead, it just can't be done."
Lily seemed to understand something, she closed her eyes for a second as though accepting the truth before smiling weakly at him. It took a whole lot of strength for James not to grin stupidly at her and instead ruffled his black hair to hid his embarrassment. It was then that Lily noticed the ribbon wrapped around James hand.
"What's that in you hand?" Lily asked curiously.
"Oh, I thought you could use this," he smiled kindly "I saw yours wasn't working too well and I figured I would help you out."
He held his arm outstretched the ribbon curled delicately in his open palm, she hesitated for a moment before reaching out her hand to take it. Their skin brushed against each others for less than a second but it was enough to convince him that the little fluttering feelings he had had towards her since their first train journey was in fact love. Now you can argue that eleven year olds don't know what it's like to love someone, but surely, doesn't all great loves start with an act of kindness. But that was it, a single extension of help and a simple red ribbon and their lives where entwined forever. Without another word, or a inkling of a grin he started to walk away.
"James," she said quietly.
"Yep,"
"Thank you," she smiled before turning back to scrolling over the pages of the book.
People are timeless in their reflections and advice about young love. It's much easier to look back on teenage love with insight and a smile than it is to be in it. Of, course, this is true of anything in life. With time and experience, we see things more clearly. My advice to you: use other people experience and wisdom to help you gain perspective on love and life. First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
First love, with it's frantic haughty imagination, swings it's object clear of the everyday, over the rut of living, making him all looks, making him silence, his gestures kind and his attitudes calm, burning phases with no context. One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. The novelty of the feeling, like the first drops of dew on an untouched life, makes it special and unforgettable.
Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation ... we don't love to be loved. We love to love. No love, no friendship, can cross our path of destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches out lives and enriches them forever.
