Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles that privilege belongs to Tess Gerritsen and TNT, I'm merely borrowing them for a while.
Author's Note: This is my first ever Rizzoli and Isles fanfiction, and I'm nervous about posting it because it sort of came to me whilst I was listening to the song I based it around. The song in question is All For Believing by Missy Higgins. I caught Rizzoli and Isles by accident but was hooked on the show and its dynamic almost immediately so whilst nervous about this I'm going to bite the bullet as they say and post it. Its setust after 'The Gun Goes Bang Bang' and is from Maura's POV. I'm not entirely sure if I've captured her right so I'll apologise for that right now. Reviews/Comments etc are welcome, flames not so much but constructive criticism is fine by me.
Time seemed to slow for an eternity as I pushed my way through the doors to the precinct only to watch in muted silence as you shot yourself. What was running through your mind in that moment will remain a question for me to ponder for a while yet. As time sped up again I rush to your side so as to stem the bleeding from the entrance wound not caring that your blood is seeping into my dress and that my knees are red raw due to the harshness of the concrete beneath them, it was in that moment that I realized how deeply I cared for you as I tried to stop you bleeding out onto the street.
Pull back the shield between us, and I'll kiss you,
Drop your defences and come, into my arms.
I'm all for believing, I'm all for believing.
I'm all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within.
I slowly relinquish my blood soaked hands as the EMT's arrive and take over, for the briefest of moments your eyes flutter open and stare directly into mine before you succumb once again to the pain that's engulfing you. At least I know that you are alive and my efforts have not been in vain and that I might get the chance to tell you how I feel. Slowly they manoeuvre you on to a gurney and into the waiting ambulance, the shutting of the doors bringing me back to reality as the sirens and lights begin to flash driving you away from me.
I know you blanket your mind so much that I am blind, but I,
I see you've painted your soul into your guard,
I'm all for believing, I'm all for believing
I need to know just how you feel, to comfort you;
I need to find the key let me in, into your heart, to find your soul.
I feel Korsak and Frost standing beside me, both muted in their shock at what we had all just witnessed; our Jane shooting herself before we hurriedly realized that we were all still rooted to the side-walk and not on our way to the hospital. Korsak moves first gently guiding me toward his car as he motions for Frost to follow, I climb rather mutely into the passenger side and fasten my seat belt acutely aware that I'm still covered in Jane's blood but Korsak doesn't seem to mind and hastily drives to the hospital. As we walk through the hospital doors my mind automatically switches into professional mode as I try to find out what's happened to both Jane and Frankie, only to be stone-walled by a Nurse for not being family. My frustration at this predicament is slowly creeping to the surface despite my best intentions, my defences are cracking as is my resolve and I can feel the tears starting to form but before they are allowed to do so a familiar voice reaches my ears; that of Angela Rizzoli.
Angela Rizzoli is not a women to be trifled with and within minutes I'm allowed to know the status of both Jane and Frankie as she states categorically to the Nurse that I'm family. In regard to Frankie the news is good, the Nurse is in fact praising the work I did as having helped to save his life which causes Angela to hug me a little tighter than I feel is necessary but all the same it is a relief to know the younger Rizzoli is going to be fine. As for Jane the news is less forthcoming as of this moment in time she's still in surgery and the agonizing wait continues and I'm still left with my thoughts from earlier.
Pull back the shield between us, and I'll kiss you,
Drop your defences and come, into my arms.
I'm all for believing, I'm all for believing.
Its been hours since Korsak no Vince brought me here and we are all still waiting for news on Jane, Frost has been doing the rounds back and forth to the coffee machine but I can no longer stomach another drop; I just need to know that she's alive and going to pull through so I can finally tell her that I love her. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, the scrubs doing nothing for my wardrobe but better than my blood-soaked dress as a Nurse comes to see us. Jane has finally come out of surgery and is currently in ICU, I probe the Nurse for facts, medical ones so that I can truly understand Jane's condition and from what she tells me I know that Jane is going to pull through, relief washes over my face as my knees buckle but before I fall; Vince catches me from behind and slowly guides me back to the chair as my body shakes uncontrollably.
The tears flowing freely now that I no longer have to hold my resolve in front of everyone, the unflappable Doctor Isles is human after all.
It is a little while later that I'm allowed to enter Jane's room in ICU, this right is normally reserved for family only but Angela has made it clear to everyone that I can be in this most hallowed place. I stand at the doorway for what seems like an eternity as I look over the fragile form of Detective Jane Rizzoli, the tubes and machines that are fixed around her make this even more real. I move forward and gently ease myself into the hard chair beside the bed and lightly grasp Jane's hand to let her know that I'm here, within minutes my exhaustion takes over and I succumb to slumber.
A slight squeeze of my hand brings me round and I look up to see deep brown eyes staring at me, and I swear my heart skips a beat which is scientifically impossible.
I'm all for believing, if you can reveal, the true colours within,
And say you will be there for me to hold,
When the faith grows old (I'm all for believing)
And life turns cold, (I'm all for believing)
When the faith grows old, (I'm all for believing) and life turns cold.
I hold your gaze for as long as possible as a smile tugs at my lips in relief, my first and only best friend is alive and I've got the chance to tell you. I rise slowly from the chair my hand not leaving yours and place a soft kiss on your forehead before leaning into whisper softly in your ear, 'I love you, Jane'
So if you're cold I will stay, maybe fate will guide the way.
I believe in what I see and baby we were meant to be,
Just believe. Just believe. Just believe.
Moving back I smile softly as your hand tightens over mine and your eyes tell me everything I need to know, the feeling is mutual. I sit back in the chair and continue to hold your hand, safe in the knowledge that you and I are meant to be.
Trust in me.
