Yeah, I guess from what you can see, I rated it M for safety. Not really sure the youngin's should be readin' stuff I've written down. Another reason is also because it might get kind of more suggestive later on...what? Don't look at me all weird just because I don't remember what happens later in my "Reports!" Hey, bein' dead can affect your mind sometimes!
Basically, these are my own journal/report type things I scribbled down because I either had free time or I was bored while being "alive" as a Nobody. Huh...I'm not even sure myself if a Nobody can get bored. Anyways, it's mainly about my experince in the Organization, what I did, and what I thought about everyone. As you can already tell, it's not gonna be like a hyper little preteen's dairy where they write down about all their little crushes...that's something probably Demyx would do.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts I, II, Chain of Memories and all of it's characters within it are copyrighted to Square Enix and/or Disney which is not owned by me, so therefore the characters used in this fic or mentioned in here are not owned by me either.
Larxene's Report, Part I
"Oh Gods...I've Joined a Cult."
My name? Don't remember it. I guess I'm not suppose to anyways, but I guess I really don't care now do I. Would I even care even if I had feelings? Nope. Anyways, I guess I should get started with this, shouldn't I?
The name is Larxene, or at least for now it is. How I came to this place? I was told I was sniffed out by Mr. Anti-Social and was finally tracked down by Wolfie Boy. Did he use his doggie powers to find me? No clue. Seriously, that guy may not be a werewolf, but somewhere along the lines, his family crossbreeded with some kind of beast or somethin'. When I came around, I became blinded by the bland colored rooms of pure white. Then there was the some tests of worth, name and rank assigning, and introductions. All that jazz and more, which didn't really interest me...no wait! It did! At least the introductions did, for what I saw were mainly freaks which I knew I had to look out for in the near future, or I'd kill them.
Hmm, this whole number thing is getting to me, so I'm not so sure that I'll go in order of our "Numbers." It'd be wiser for me to go in the order of who I think has the more upperhand in this so called "Organization." Number I, or as we're forced to call him, "Superior", seems to have complete control already; even though I'm sure there's plenty of things he doesn't know, I'm pretty sure he could handle whatever pops up.
Zexion, or Mr. Anti-Social, seems to know way more than even the Superior on what's going on. Still, have you seen this kid? Hell, he's a twiggy thing and looks like he can't even hold a weapon properly! Also, he sure is damn smart, which probably would've made me mad, for he considers everyone including me an idiotic freak. I learned later on, he's not really a kid and has been the same age for about nine years. Crap...this guy trapped in probably the age of 16 was going to be my Superior for a long time.
Then there's that guy one number ahead of me, Marluxia, or too god damn pretty boy for his own good. I know that he's some weird guy with way different ambitions than what the whole Organization does, so I might have to keep a close eye on him. Hmm, to tell ya the truth, I adore all those pretty boys, but not the type who act like it, just look it and don't care. Unfortunatly, he's pretty and he knows it. Crap...someone shoot him. Creepy old eyepatch dude, care to lend a hand?
Saix a.k.a. Woflie man appears to be on Superior's good side, plus he's seems like a major ass-kisser. Damnit, I can't do crap like that. Anyways, I heard he's actually one of the strongest fighters in the Organization for he's a berserker and I mean he's berserk! I've been warned to steer clear of him, for he has mood swings like a teenaged girl. Strange, and hear I thought I was told we can't feel, so how can we...? Too many questions, so I'm not gonna go into it.
I didn't really care much about everyone else there, except at first glance I did make a few mental notes.
Xemnas- Gotta learn that guy's tanning tips.
Xigbar- He must have some kind of brain damage that makes him talk and act like a teenager, when he's clearly not.
Xaldin- Medusa's long lost brother?
Vexen- I bet he's a tranny...gotta hide my clothes.
Lexaeus- Why is he called the "Silent Hero" again?
Zexion- God I hope he doesn't listen to "Fell Down Guys."
Saix- Now if he really wanted to suck up to Xemmy, I know what he could do! (I hope I find some kind of video recorder while on some missions.)
Axel- Damn his hips...(Way better than mine.)
Demyx- Just one look at him and I can tell I'll have to keep myself from killing him in the near future.
Luxord- Alright, which ear needed to be pierced to show you were gay?
Marluxia- I bet he was a total uke when he was a Somebody.
Anyways, I also went through the rules, blah blah. I payed attention I think once, but there's no way in hell I'm gonna remember them all. Oh, here's the good part! Apparently, some of these guys havn't been around a chick in about ten or so years. Wow...joyful. If I say I'm a les, will they back off or attract them more. Hell, I knew all males never needed hearts to "like" a chick. I guess this is when everyone started considering me a bitch, for that's how I act liked around them. I've only been here for a week and I already have a title! That's how I'd usually work back when I was a Somebody. Moving on, I could tell who was gay or straight by those who hitted on me and some of the ones who didn't. Anti-Social and Wolf Man, I couldn't tell. Damn their attitudes. Shall I do the list again?
Xigbar- Didn't flirt, but wanted to party like I was one of the buds for the welcoming party. Heh, I act like a dude most of the time anyways, so he gets some points for making me feel welcome. Yeah...I think he's straight for now, but I'm not 100 sure.
Xaldin- Didn't do anything, but joined in with Xigbar during the party later on. Medusa guy is strait.
Vexen- Ew, I don't even want to think about it.
Lexaeus- Apparently he was trying to be nice and calm while everyone else was rowdy (Which apparently isn't his nature to usually act so sometimes.) Most guys I met that are macho are at least bi or experiment a bit.
Axel- Yeah, the redhead tried to flirt, but did horrible at it. Apparently, he hasn't had much experience with women. Even if he doesn't think it, he'll be gay soon enough.
Demyx- YES! He's tried to do the same as Axel, but is a bit to whimpy or uke for it. Yeah, he's as straight as a spiral staircase, but doesn't know it yet.
Luxord- Kind of flirted, but was more smooth about it. Only 80 straight, but he'll never go fully gay.
Marluxia- Gods...too much of the prince-like gesture for my taste. Also, as much as I hate to say this...I'm pretty sure he's the straightest out of the bunch.
Why do I pay attention to these things? Most chicks do, but that's not the only reason. I think my Somebody would be kind of glad I'm stuck with a bunch of guys, for one I like to hang out with dudes more than chicks. Also, with this many guys, there's gotta be some live action yaoi happenin' soon enough. Now I'm sure I'll be ok without my "Levitation" and "Loveful" mangas. Hell, it was all just shounenai anyways.
I'm still not clear on our main goal other than to collect hearts for a great event of the moon or somethin'. Wow, look at my sloppy writting, but you know what? Who cares? Nobodies can't. I should stop now, for it's getting late and I have a mission along with "Pretty Boy" tomorrow mornin'. I really hope I havn't got myself into a religious cult of somethin'. Oh well, too late to back out now, or is it?
There you have it all you Somebodies. If you all really want me to, I'll post up some more of my past report entries. Oh, if you have any questions for me, ask them, but there's a 62 chance I won't answer them. Yeah, I know I'm a bitch like that...and yes I do enjoy some yaoi! Happy now?
