Hey! I've got another fic. Some of you may not know that my computer crashed and almost wiped all my stuff away. Since then, I'd temporarily given up on things until I got everything back. I finally have, so I decided to write a new fic in celebration! Bad Day may not resume; I've never liked that story and it has nowhere to go...
I apologise also for my lack of reviewing stories. I've been really busy (even in the holidays). I hope there's no problems between me and people because of it! I will read your fics as soon as possible! (If I haven't done so already.)
So, enjoy my new fic!
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You and me,
We used to be together,
Everyday together,
Always...
I really feel
I'm losing my best friend,
I can't believe this could be
The end...
It looks as though
You're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know...
Don't speak...
'Don't Speak' by No Doubt
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I'll never forget that summer. Best of my life. But it looks like he already has, and he always will. I was used to my boring, repetitious life, and I loved it because I knew what would happen; I was always one step ahead of the game. Then…then…I don't know. It all happened so fast. I wish for it back so badly. I want that rush again. I don't want to care anymore. I want to be free, like I was with him. But that's the problem; him. I still love him; love him with all my heart, even if it's shattered. Every night I cry myself to sleep. I try to keep strong; I have people depending on me, but it hurts so much…
There I was, Asuka Kazama. Carefree, innocent and wild. I was young, naïve, and I couldn't see how much life could hurt back then. I didn't have a care in the world; so long as I got good grades and trained at the dojo until I was satisfied, I was alright. I never in a million years thought that just one man would send my life plummeting for the worst.
Hell, I never even noticed boys in that way. To me, they were just…there. Different from the girls, but I never thought about getting a boyfriend, and I didn't care that I hadn't had my first kiss by the age of seventeen. I was more focused on my fighting; that was my love, and it satisfied me in a way I felt a boyfriend couldn't. I never had any arguments with it, I never got dumped by it or anything.
I'm not quite sure how it all happened…ah, wait…yes, I do. He was the new transfer student that I just had to meet. There was something about him that drew people to him. Maybe it was the fact that in a sea of auburn, black and brown hair, he was the only one with a rich, deep yet bright scarlet. Perhaps it was because he spoke naturally in his Korean tongue whilst everyone around him spoke Japanese, even if they weren't, which meant we were all fumbling around with our Korean textbooks and exercise books trying to frantically translate what he was saying so we could understand, and make sure he wasn't insulting us or making perverted comments. Maybe it was the fact that he would pick fights with my brother, and they'd always draw. I always admired his Tae Kwon Do; I found how he moved fascinating. Maybe it was his 'I don't give a shit' attitude which drew me to him, or maybe it was because he loved the danger of life. Maybe it was because he was classed as a bad boy, a player, always going for different women at the same time.
Whatever the reason, I found myself trapped in his web. He was the spider, and I was the fly. I was young, and I didn't know what I was doing. To me, it was love. To him…well, now it feels like all he did was lie. I want to know what it was like for him. I want to know if he just did it out of spite for my brother. Whatever it ends up to be, I know I'll always love him with all my heart, and no one could possibly replace him. Even if it was a lie, I loved every second of it, just like I loved every millimetre of him.
On many occasions, I've tried to get over him. Every time I try to, I just end up more depressed and wanting him more than ever. I can't get over him. The result of our relationship is always going to be here, with me. I had the chance to eradicate it, but I just couldn't. I couldn't kill it, no matter how hard I thought about it, and no matter how much Hwoarang pressurised me. I could understand where he was coming from when I'd told him, but he could only think about himself. The result of our relationship is why he left. Or at least I think it's why he left. He'd even begun to accept Jin, so I'd therefore come to the conclusion that he left because of what I did. I don't think I would have changed my decision if I had the chance to turn back time. Maybe I would have tried harder than I had to convince him to stay, and convince him that he was as much a part of this as I was. I had said that to him, but he didn't seem to care. That was the first time I'd seen the other side of Hwoarang. The cold, ruthless, selfish, brutal one. The one that had been shunned into the darkness by the firecracker that I had seen everyday.
How I wish, pray even, to see that firecracker burst into my life and light up my heart once again…
