I don't own SVU and I wish to say thank you to my wonderful beta Bellatrix Wannabe 89. Thank you I hope you enjoy the story.
Pulling up outside a picturesque house with the path covered in a gentle layer of undisturbed snow, Craig Tearny stopped at the bottom of the drive way he looked around the car. His wife, Baillie, was sitting with her feet on the dash board reading, his son Nick, 10, was playing his PSP, while his daughter McKenzie, 7, was listening to her IPod.
"We're here!" he announced happily to his family and turned off the car.
Nick was the first to leave the vehicle followed straight after by McKenzie. They jumped down from the car as the sound of the snow crunching under their feet rang through the silent air.
"Hey I want to ruin the snow!" McKenzie shouted in mock anger.
McKenzie dropped to the ground and began to make snow angels on the ground. When she stood up the young girl stood back to admire the beautiful image she crated on the blinding white powder. Nick took this moment while her guard down to make a snowball and threw it, hitting the back of his sister's head.
"Bullseye!" Nick shouted as he jumped up and down only to be stopped in his tracks moments later by a snowball threw by his sister.
The quiet street soon filled with the echo of the children's playful laughter. Bending down Mackenzie rolled up another small amount of packy snow in her gloved hands before she raised it above her head and threw it at her brother. A full blown snowball fight soon followed.
"Guy's, empty the car first then play," Craig shouted as he and Baillie grabbed their bags from the trunk.
The kids ran and picked up their bags from the car while Baillie opened the door to the new house. Placing the bag she had over her shoulder gently onto the ground she looked around and smiled. The two children ran past her and thundered up the stairs she had half a mind to scold them for being too loud but decided to let it go.
She had just began to walk into the kitchen when McKenzie came tredging down the stairs and stormed over to her before she tugged on hers mother's shirt. She turned around to see the young girl was standing crossed armed and wasn't looking happy.
"Mom, Nick took the best room!" she moaned.
"You should have been quicker then," her mother replied trying not to laugh at the young girl.
McKenzie walked away in a huff and went into the smaller of the two room's, and began placing her stuff neatly around. The movers had been up the day before with the van, filled with the beds and the larger furniture, so they had a good start.
Craig came in behind Baillie and the two glanced at one another for a moment. Baillie managed a smile and reached out and held her husband's hand. "Everything will be alright," she promised him.
Craig took a deep breath and nodded, giving her a weak smile of his own. "I know…"
The two smiled at one another before they grabbed their separate bags and headed up towards their new room.
Hours later after all of the clothes had been put away the small family gathered in the living room. Craig and Baillie sat on the couch while Nick and McKenzie sat on the beautiful crafted hard wood floors in front of them. Nick was playing with his PS3 once more while McKenzie was drawing a picture with a dark red crayon.
"Everyone got all their stuff unpacked?" Craig asked the two children.
Nick and McKenzie's ashamed voices spoke the same word almost instantly. "Almost."
"I'll help them later," Baillie assured them with a smile to prove they weren't in trouble. "But for now we gotta figure out something for dinner. I'll go to the store tomorrow so I guess we need to order in tonight."
"Pizza!" both children shouted in unison.
"Least you both agree on something," Craig said with a chuckle. "Now the bigger question; pepperoni or cheese?"
The shout of Nick's "Pepperoni!" meshed loudly with McKenzie's "Cheese!"
"No, pepperoni," said Nick as he hit his sister in the arm causing the pile of paper she was holding to slip from her grip, and drop to the floor in a mess.
"Dad, Nick hit me!" she whined.
"Nick, don't hit your sister okay?" he replied in a stern voice.
McKenzie stuck her tongue out and sat on her father's knee. Rubbing her hair gently he looked over to his wife,
"You want me to go pick it up or call it in?" he asked.
"Go pick it up and get the number when you're there," she replied.
Nodding he placed McKenzie down on the floor and got up from the couch.
Grabbing his car keys from the coffee table in front of him he headed out of their new house.
An hour later when he entered the house again he was surprised at what he saw.
"You can't do your rooms…," he mused as he put the two large pizzas, one cheese and one pepperoni on the coffee table, "but you have time to play the Wii?"
"There's always time for the Wii, Dad," Nick replied not taking his eyes from the TV his mother had hastily hooked up.
Craig rolled his eyes but never the less sat down next to his wife on the couch and grabbed a slice of pepperoni. "Twenty bucks says I kick your ass after this game."
Baillie smirked as she grabbed a slice of cheese. "You're on."
Hours later after they ate the pizza, and Craig had to pay the twenty dollars to his wife, the family played Wii for a little while until they were so tired the kids nearly fell on their feet.
"Alright," Craig announced as he clapped his hands together. "Both of you upstairs, time for bed. Tomorrow is a big day, you guys."
Both Nick and McKenzie were too tired to argue so instead they turned and headed off towards the stairs and descended up them.
"You ready for this?" Elliot muttered to Olivia as they watched their 'children' head off to bed, slipping out of his persona that Cragen has assigned to him earlier that day.
"No," Olivia breathed voicing the anxiousness she had been feeling all day.
One week earlier.
Olivia stood in front of her apartment building, waiting for Elliot to pick her up since her new car had yet to arrive from the showroom, looking at her watch she sighed and slipping her phone out her back pocket, she called the all too familiar number she had memorized long ago.
"EL, were the hell are you?" she scolded.
"Calm down, I'm nearly at you're place," he replied.
"Well hurry up, it cold and it's starting to rain," grumbled Olivia before hanging up the phone.
Within a few minutes the rain began to bounce hard off the sidewalk. Pulling her collar around her neck and began to curse him under her breath, she pushed her hands deep into her pockets until she saw Elliot pull up driving right through a puddle missing her by inches.
"That was so close," she told him getting in to the passenger side
"Morning to you too, Ms Benson," he smiled handing her a coffee.
Olivia pulled her hair back in a messy bun and took the coffee gladly to warm up her hands; placing her head back to the head rest she drank it happily.
As they walked into the station perfectly in unison with each other, they headed towards the squad room. Olivia sighed happily as she draped her wet, gray jacket over her chair before sitting down and took a long drink of the coffee Elliot had given her. Munch and Fin looked over to their work mates, walking over to greet them. They began to chat about a recent case the team had to go to court with to put it to rest. Just then; Cragen and Gillian Hardwick walked in to the room. Cragen had a brown file in his hand and Gillian and him were talking between themselves and they came to a stop beside their desks.
"Have you done your prep for court tomorrow?" Hardwick asked
"Getting ready now, won't be too much longer," Elliot replied.
"I will finish when I get back, I need to pop back out for a while," Olivia told them.
Olivia left the precinct and as she arrived in the parking lot, Olivia realized she had left her wallet lying on her desk.
"Terrific," she muttered as she dug in her purse for her phone to call Elliot.
"El, listen," she told him when he answered his own phone with familiar greeting of 'Stabler', "I left my wallet lying on my desk, could you put it in my top drawer for me, I'll get it in the morning," she told him, fumbling around her purse in her car keys. "Hold on," said Olivia as she placed her purse on the top of the trunk so she could see better, "El," she said placing the phone back up to her ear, "Car keys there too?" she asked
This caused her partner to laugh. "Yes, they are here too."
Olivia let out a loud groan of annoyance, "okay, I'm on the way back," she told him turning on her heels she headed back towards the squad room.
"Say I'm a lifesaver," said Elliot with a shit eating grin as he held up her purse.
"You're a life saver," Olivia replied to a smile.
She walked over to him and Elliot chuckled as he handed her the purse. "So where you going?" he asked casually.
"Nowhere," she said with a careless shrug. "See ya."
With a small wave she turned and left the squad room again with Elliot looking curiously after her.
…
A few hours later Olivia arrived back in to the squad room, looking around she seen a few people working away but Elliot, Munch or Fin were no were to be seen, throwing her coat back over her chair and walking to the break room where she got herself a apple and made herself another cup of coffee before walking over to the window.
A heavy sigh escaped her as she looked out to the Manhattan skyline. She lost herself in her daydream when Elliot walked back in holding a sandwich in one hand and as soda in the other noticing Olivia standing alone.
He placed his lunch down on the table and walked over to her. As he got closer to her he noticed her tear stained face and distant look in his partners eyes. He placed his hand on her shoulder causing her to snap out of her day dream she seemed to be having. She placed the coffee cup down and wiped her eyes and smiled at him.
"I thought you had the day off?" he said softly.
He could tell that something had really upset her. Just as he was going to ask what had happened to make her so unlike herself, the rest of the team walked in. Munch was holding a young girls hand. She was badly beaten and her clothes were dirty and torn. Don walked over to Olivia with confusion in his eyes.
"I thought you were off the rest of the day?" he asked.
"Yes, I finished what I had to do earlier than I thought so I back in to finish up that paper work," she answered.
"I'm glad you're back," said Cragen as he nodded over at the young girl, "narcotics found her hiding under a bed in a house narcotics hit. Her name's Sofia," he added.
"Is she a victim" Olivia asked dreading the answer.
"No, just waiting on ACS to get here that's all. Guy in narcotics didn't know what to do with her so he called Fin," Cragen said putting Olivia's mind at ease.
Olivia touched his arm and walked over to the young girl, bending down to her height. She smiled the young girl who looked at Olivia wearily and took a few seconds to look her over.
Olivia held out her hand for the girl to take. It took the girl a few seconds to respond to her action but she eventually slipped her small hand into Olivia's larger one who closed it gently around it. Olivia took the young girl into the locker room Olivia and got the girl a shower and changed into clean clothes.
After a while the two of them came back to the desk. Olivia was carrying the young girl on her hip while holding a bottle of water in her other hand. The young girls arms were wrapped around her neck and her head rested on her shoulder.
The team was watching their interaction with great interest. They knew she was great with kids, they had seen her with many before even with Eli but this little girl showed a different side to her.
After a long while the girl fell asleep in Olivia's arms. Picking the little girl up, she took her to the crib's and tucked her in. When she came back out, Elliot was waiting at his desk when he saw her come out of the crib he walked over and pulled her aside.
"Everything okay?" he asked softly.
"Yes, why wouldn't it be?" she replied trying to sound normal.
"You just seemed really upset earlier that's all."
She shrugged as if his words held no merit. "It's nothing to worry about," she told him
"Liv, talk to me. What's wrong?" he pressed.
"I told you I'm fine," she snapped at her partner.
"Am I interrupting something?" a voice asked as an unknown woman walked into the room.
"No," Olivia told her not taking her eyes from Elliot.
Elliot turned around to her and narrowed his eyes in confusion at the woman. "I'm sorry who are you?"
"Angie Willows ACS. Got a call about a girl caught in a drug raid, a Sofia Gabriella? I'm here to pick her up…."
Olivia felt her heart break at the prospect of the girl being taken away from her but remained silent as Elliot nodded. "She's right through here." Elliot stood up and led Angie towards the crib.
Olivia heard gentle low mutterings emitted from Elliot and Angie trying to awaken the sleeping girl and bit her lip as she heard Sofia cry out. "Nooo! I wanna stay with Olivia!"
She had half a mind to just leave the room before the young girl came out. Olivia couldn't deal with this. Not today…
Just as she decided to go to the break room until the young girl who had pulled at her heart strings left the precinct; the small group emerged from the crib with Angie holding tight onto a struggling Sofia's hand.
The moment she spotted the detective she had grown attached to Sofia broke away from her grasp and ran over to her "Olivia!"
Olivia groaned as the girl threw her arm around her and hugged her tightly. "I don't wanna go!"
"Sofia, you have to," said Olivia softly as she tried to pry the young girls hand from around her.
"No! I wanna stay with you!" Sofia cried as tears began to stream down her face.
"Sweetie, please," Olivia pleaded as her voice cracked with tears. "Come on, baby, go with Angie."
"Nooo!"
Her eyes closed and she took a shuddering breath as she grasped Sofia's wrists tight enough to pull them apart from around her. Angie hurried over to the couple and grabbed Sofia tightly by the hand, ignoring her own pain in her heart as she was once again forced to act like the enemy.
"I don't wanna go!" Sofia sobbed as she tried pulling away from Angie's grasp once again. "Please don't make me go back there! Olivia, please don't make me go back! PLEASE! Olivia…!"
She put a shaking hand to her trembling lip and felt hot tears fell down her face as Angie dragged a still crying and screaming Sofia around the corner.
The moment Sofia was out her eyeshot, Olivia grabbed her coat and ran from the room, fumbling around with her keys, she wiped stray tears from her eye's.
Elliot called out for her to stop but she ignored his cries. She needed to get out of there now or she was going to lose it...
After she arrived back home for the night, Olivia walked slowly up the stairs to her apartment. Slipping off her shoes and jacket she sat down on the sofa and her thoughts drifted back to the appointment she had earlier that day.
…
A little while after leaving the precinct Olivia pulled up outside a white building, sitting in her car for much longer than usual, holding on to the letter containing the date and time of her appointment.
She looked over felling reluctant to actually go in to the office. Eventually her courage and curiosity got the better of her and she gulped and opened the door to her car, all be it slowly, walking up the marble white steps.
She placed her hand on the door and walked in hesitantly; giving her letter to the receptionist she took a seat and waited to be called, all the while taking ragged breaths. Only after few minutes of waiting she was called, but to Olivia it seemed like hours.
"Afternoon, Ms Benson," the doctor greeter her
"Hello," Olivia replied taking the seat he had point to.
Olivia smiled timidly, her nerves were kicking in she began to fiddle nervously with her hands.
"We have your results," the doctor began softly as he sat down behind the oak wood desk. "I'm sorry to tell you that you have a disease known as Endometriosis."
"I'm sorry, what is that?" Olivia asked unsure.
"Endometriosis is a fairly common disorder," he explained ,"it happens to in woman of all ages and can be diagnosed in their early 20's, 30's, and sometimes older as in your case. It causes chronic pelvic pain like you have been experiencing, and…"
"And what?" Olivia asked, dreading his answer."
"I'm so sorry, Ms. Benson, this disease has been known to cause infertility," the doctor finished.
"So I can't" she mumbled as her voice trailed off.
The Doctor nodded, already knowing the question she was going to ask. "No I'm sorry, you can't become pregnant. This is why you have been having problems thus far," he told her.
Olivia sat in silence, her bottom lip started to quiver uncontrollably she bought her hand to her mouth to stop the tremble and to cover up the heart ache she felt inside.
"I have information leaflets for you to read," added the doctor not unkindly, "I advise you read them carefully."
"Thank you," Olivia muttered with her head bow so he couldn't see the tears welling in her eyes.
"I want you to make a follow up appointment," he told her handing her a prescription for pain medication.
Olivia walked out her head spinning with all this new information she had just been told
…
Her hand found itself slipping under her top and pressing down on the searing pain that ran throw her abdomen, sighing she took some pain killers and laid down on the couch. Turning around she looked right at the picture of her and the dark haired boy who had stolen her heart a few weeks earlier.
He was smiling brightly and laughing as was Olivia who looked like they had no care in the world. They looked like a real family. Pulling it down, she held it close to her heart as Cragen's words rang in her head,
"A detective desperate to start her own family."
All day she had this on her mind, not telling anyone, not even her partner. Like always she kept it bottled up inside. She now knew it was too late to have the baby she had longed for all these years…
With a muffled sob she kissed the photo and held it close to her heart once more as she cried herself to sleep.
