Ms. Usagi Winner sat in her rocking chair, rocking gently back and forth. She held some knitting in her lap and gazed at the fire, now warming in the fireplace. Her eyes were dull with age, her once brown hair had faded to gray. She was seventy-eight years old. Her life was so checkered that no one knew where she was, or where she was going at any given moment. She rocked back and forth, back and forth. Her weathered hands rested on her lap for a moment and she smiled at the dog sleeping on a rug in front of the hearth. It had been thirty-two years to the day since her loving husband Quatre had died. She still felt the pain quell in her from time to time, but as with all things time heals all wounds. The only thing she kept of his was their wedding picture, which hung on the mantel. Everyone always thought it was of her son and his wife, Quatre Junior and Rachael Winner. She always laughed amazed at how the two resembled her and Quatre. She heaved a little sigh, "Oh Quatre, if only you were still with me. If only...if only..." Usagi found herself saying this phrase ten dozen times a day, if not more, since the incident. Her husband had died young. He was the victim of jealous rage. What marked his death from every other was that Usagi had not lost one person she cared deeply about on that day, but two. Mr. Billy Rauch was a dear friend to her, and he had the misfortune of trying to help a friend in need. She reflected into the mirror and remembered when she had the misfortune of finding a forbidden love. She was still living in America and her features were that of a German girl. She had the broad shoulders, ovular face, blonde hair, and brown eyes. She was seventeen, and was talking on the internet with Mako at the time: Mako*Shall I describe it to you, or shall I find you a box* says:

Common Usagi-chan, you and he would make a cute couple! Usagi (Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me, and be my friend.) says: No Mako-chan. That would just be rude to you. You know I don't do those kinds of things to friends. I mean he IS you're ex. Mako*Shall I describe it to you, or shall I find you a box* says: But I SAID it's ok. So why don't you? Usagi (Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me, and be my friend.) says: And I said no, I don't like doing those kinds of things. I know it'll just blow up in both of our faces! Why do you ALWAYS insist on these melodramas? Their conversations were always like this. They regard one poor soul, Billy's. Mako always wanted to find Usagi's husband for her, and Usagi never liked that she took the initiative to do it, but didn't have the heart to ask Mako to stop. In this situation Usagi thought that Billy should be the one to decide who he was going to date, but in Mako's mind it was either her or Usagi. She never thought that a third party might come in. Time drew by and Mako had successfully forced Usagi and Billy into a relationship. Two weeks later she decided that both had betrayed her, and worked hard to force their break up. At first Usagi took the normal, "Whatever you say Mako," approach. But she realized that Mako had gone too far. Now she was yo-yoing not only her, but also Billy on her melodramatic strings. There was something else too; she really liked Billy. He listened when he could, he was always supportive whenever someone needed to talk, and Usagi needed that. Mako had stopped listening to her long ago. Instead whenever Usagi needed someone to talk to Mako went to the movies or to a party. Usagi needed someone desperately. Her situation became almost unbearable. Her father was in the hospital for months at a time, the nurses were treating him and the family as inferior beings, and the demand of A.P. homework was so overwhelming that she just buried herself in it as much as she could. She cried so often, but let no one know. She often turned on the shower t o muffle her sobs, and forced her face into the pillow as deep as it would go. As it was she was still getting to know Billy as a person, so she told him nothing of any of it, she didn't even think of it when he called. She was always overjoyed by a familiar voice on the phone that she forgot all of her troubles. Then a few days latter his voice was gone from her head and the weight of her homework found her. She talked to Mako online every night, because she knew that if they stopped for even one night then the friendship wouldn't survive. She never told Mako this because she knew Mako wouldn't listen, she didn't care. Mako was so wrapped up in having a boyfriend that she saw nothing but herself. As long as Usagi was there to listen to her dating problems she was happy. Lately Mako was furious with Usagi for developing feelings for her ex. How could Usagi have such NERVE?! Eleventh grade passed and summer came. Usagi invited Mako to her home for the summer since the two lived across the country from each other. But this summer was different from all of the rest. Mako was still angry with Usagi, and to divert her attention set her up with Billy, while she went after Usagi's brother. Despite Usagi asking her not to. She went right behind Usagi's back, and broke two rules, not of the moral code, but of the friend code. 1. Don't get involved with a relative of a friend. 2. Don't go behind a friends back. Usagi saw it, and became angry. If Mako had the nerve to do this then she had no right to even consider herself a friend! The situation exploded, and the brother was the one to break it off because of his sisters feelings, Mako became upset over this too. After this happened she was determined that Usagi and Billy stay apart. She would make sure of it. After all she was in love with Billy. Sure she flirted with other guys, dated them, and everything. But she was sure that she loved him! Usagi had always doubted this. Usagi didn't know what love was, but she did know lust. She saw lust full in Mako's eyes. It was the same look she'd seen with every guy Mako had ever dated. Mako said she knew what love was.... Usagi wasn't so sure. She couldn't understand how Mako could know what love was if she had been in love with every guy she had ever dated? Some how Usagi just didn't see how a person could fall in and out of love with so many guys. Time progressed and Usagi never dated Billy, not behind Mako's back. She just wasn't the kind of person to go behind another's back. She didn't know why so many people found it so easy. As senior year began Mako said she'd started therapy and was trying to improver herself...Usagi sighed again. There was that word...self. Usagi never understood why Mako was always trying to improver herself. As a person Mako was fine. She had good qualities. It was when it was time to serve others that was the problem. Mako was never asking herself how could she serve others, just how could she gain from others? As Senior year started Usagi gave up. No more scheduling chats, no more working on a dying friendship. She was just tired. She couldn't bear the weight anymore. Usagi gave up a life so Mako could be her friend, and that suited Mako, but only when it was convenient for her. Senior year Usagi decided to make some friends, get her own life. This didn't please Mako one bit. Usagi still got on the Internet from time to time, and when she was ready to take up her burdens again she scheduled chats, but Mako never showed up. Usagi just have up. She had found a click to fit into. She had been accepted to college, declared a major, and was working her way to what God wanted her to do. Mako could either come along for the journey, or she could stay behind. Usagi didn't care anymore. She had freed herself from the bonds she had been tied to for so long. It all felt so great! If Mako wanted to be her friend then it was HER time to contribute. Usagi felt something waking in her that had been dead for a long time, her spirit. Just when everything seemed to be going her way, her world turned upside down. President Clark, had instated a draft in the ongoing War On Terror. Former President Bush had started this ideological war centuries ago. He would have ended it himself if he had been reelected, but instead former President Dean had won the vote and taken U.S. command out of Iraq and given it to the U.N. It was a complete failure, terrorism become even more wide spread, and was so common that people came to know it every day in the slums of every country. Usagi had been drafted at the end of her freshman year of college. She was supposed to have been sent to battle a year after boot camp, but half a year into her training she was sent to the front lines because reserves had dried up and the situation was dire. She hadn't heard from Mako at all because Mako didn't write e-mails anymore. Usagi didn't dare ask why Mako would make such a rude, selfish comment. She wasn't too concerned. If Mako boxed herself in then it was her issue. Usagi wasn't bailing her out this time. Usagi found out about the draft when her sergeant commander tossed her a weapon and said, "Tsukimo, you're going to be piloting the X-189 Aries v. 2 at Colony L-147. You ship out immediately." Usagi was bewildered by this, she wasn't sure she could do it! She was so scared, but she had faith in her skills as a soldier. She was strong of mind, but weak in strength. She was luck all of the physical strength had been taken out of war a long time ago. She gathered what she could, and sent a letter to Billy, the one person from her past who had kept in touch. She wished him the best, and prayed every day that he be drafted the way she was. By this time he had found someone else, who he had fallen in love with and planned to be married in three years. Usagi was surprised that Mako hadn't forced him into marrying her. She always thought that Mako would do it, but she just stopped talking to him a week before she stopped talking to Usagi. The trip was long, and Usagi slept most of the way. when she awoke battle was blazing before her, and she had orders to start fighting when they reached the colony's Lagrange point. Usagi prepared her mind. She never liked killing, but she had a duty to her country. The set out and immediately was barraged by flying ammunition from all sides. Everything was a blur. She couldn't see clearly which side was which. It took her a moment to recover her senses. When she did she immediately set forth, trying to conserve as many bullets as possible, but was unable to do so. In the midst of the fighting she had no sense of time, direction, or life. She only saw the enemy. Hours dragged by without her noticing. When the battle had ended there was no clear winner. Both sides were diminished to only a handful of fighters. Luck was on Usagi's side, she had minimal damage to her suit, and nothing else. As she looked around the scene of carnage she was surprised to see the legendary Gundam's had been fighting on their side. One of the Gundams, the unit known as four, motioned for her to join them. She would have followed her commander, but when she looked around again everyone who had survived on her side had left for base, forgetting that she was even there. Terrified that they had forgotten she had existed she followed the Gundams. She heard a male voice over the intercom, "Hey, not bad for your first fight! At least you survived, and you knocked a few out yourself." She blushed and responded femininely, "Thank you." Another male voice came over the intercom, but this one was disgusted," A WOMAN?!" You shouldn't be out here! Go home!" Usagi felt like crying, "I'm sorry sir, but I am a United States Citizen and I was drafted. If I go home I'll be charged at a traitor." A third voice came over the intercom," I'm sorry to hear that, but it looks like your government has left you behind." Usagi was on the verge of tears at this. "It's not the government, but the army. I'm sure my commander thought I was dead, and left me for as such." A fourth voice came over the intercom, "Ohh, ma'am I truly am sorry to hear that. You should come with us if you have no where else to go." The three voices responded in Unison, "QUATRE!" Then the second voice said, "You're too weak to be out here! You should always identify an unknown soldier before offering him...well in this case her to your base!" The fourth voice, identified as Quatre responded, "Sorry, I thought we had confirmed her to be friend." Usagi quickly spoke up, "Oh me?! I've always admired the Gundams. The second voice doubtful said, "Prove it." But the first voice chimed in, "Common Wufei! If she wasn't thrilled of the Gundams would she even have approached, and look how much time has elapsed that she could have attacked us in!" A fifth voice said, "Duo has a point, but she may be working for Oz as a spy." Quatre piped up, "But she said she was from the United States, and the U.S. is know for its disagreements with Oz." Wufie finally decided, "All right prove that you're on the United States' side." Usagi quickly flashed them all of her draft information eagerly. She kept going until they were all satisfied. When they got back to base she met all of the voices and learned that the two that weren't identified in the conversation were named Heero and Trowa. Quatre kindly contacted her commander to let him know she hadn't gone A.W.L. She was so grateful to meet such nice people. Time passed and she got to know the Gundam pilots. She was thrilled with what they taught her. They didn't make her fight, instead they let her cook and clean, which she enjoyed. As time drew on she and Quatre became closer. They became so close that one evening without being aware of what they were doing they fell into a kiss. Both denied what they felt at first, but it all burst open, and shortly after they were married shortly after the war had ended. Married life was quite different from dating. In some ways it was better. Usagi was always close to Quatre, and Quatre could call Usagi anytime he wanted. But at the same time their fights grew intense. They fought over serious and silly things, such as the bills and what color to paint the room. What neither of them saw was Trowa's growing jealousy. He wanted Usagi. He had since the day he met her. For fifteen years he left her alone, but as Quatre came home one night he snapped. He had been drinking heavily that night, and jealousy coursed through his blood. At the Winner residence Usagi and Quatre had invited Billy over. They found out that his fiancée had left him long before the marriage date. She had run off with one of his friends. He had dated off and on, but never really settled down. He was currently single, kind of between women, but he seemed all right with it. In the middle of the conversation Trowa had pulled into the driveway, drunk as a skunk and as foul smelling. He broke through the door and aimed straight for Quatre. He shot a total of fifteen times. Ten times he missed, but the five that did hit were fatal. Usagi burst into tears at her dead husband. She was mortified that something like this would happen. One of the neighbors had heard the shots and called police. They were only a few minutes from Usagi's home when Trowa had finished shooting Quatre. Billy tried to play the hero. He stood up and said. "You'll have to go through me to get to her!" Trowa simply shrugged his shoulders and fired. This time he took thirty bullets, stopping in the middle to reload. Usagi could do nothing but cry. After the first two rounds Billy was dead. She had no idea why Trowa kept shooting him. It gave the police enough time to arrive on the scene and catch Trowa red-handed.
He was too drunk to put up a real fight, and the police had him in minutes. His trial was quick, and he was charged with two accounts of first degree-murder, and one account of manslaughter. His sentence was eased from death to life in prison because he was intoxicated. No bail was posted because there was sufficient evidence to prove that psychologically he was a serial killer.
Usagi rocked back and forth in her rocking chair, back and forth. She was ready for her time to come, but until the Lord saw it fit for her to go home. She would continue living. After the trial Usagi got her license to teach English as a Second Language in other countries. She shortly moved to Japan where she has lived until now. She never heard from Mako ever again. The last time she heard from her was before she had been drafted into the war. She knew Mako would be all right with or without Usagi. She just had some difficulties to work out. Rumor had it that she married Duo Maxwell, but Usagi wasn't sure, because at a young age Mako had vowed never to marry.
The fire crackled, and Usagi put it out. It was well past nine, and she couldn't stay up late anymore, not unless she was entertaining a former student, listening to his or her journeys since he or she had taken the class. Tonight, she had no one but her dog to talk to. She enjoyed the quite. She kissed the picture of Quatre good night, and retired for the night.