Disclaimer: I own nothing of BLEACH or anything by Kubo Tite and I do not wish to because then it would so not be as awesome as it is today.


"Shall claim of death cause us to grieve,/ And make our courage faint or fail?" - A.L. Frink, "The Rose Still Grows Beyond the Wall"


Introduction: A first "near death" experience

Tatsuki growled at Ichigo as she threw him onto the floor, "You wimp!" She taunted, "get back up and stop crying. Fight me like the man you're supposed to be." He was a little cutie, always smiling that shy smile, looking over at his gorgeous mother with those large liquid-chocolate-puppy-dog-eyes (that could melt the coldest of hearts) to see if she was watching, which she was, proudly too.

She had once expected more out of him, since Ichigo was a boy, but all he'd done all practice long was cry and cry and cry until his mommy came over to him and crooned nice things to make him feel better. But that was three years ago: by now they had become good friends and he was able to shrug off her taunts. He was not, however, able to cope with the hurt caused by the bruises earned from sparring in their karate dojo. So he cried. Oh, she tried to help him grow a spine, really she did. She felt it was her duty as one of his best friends to help him. But this kid was just hopeless. A wimpy hopeless crybaby.

"Come on, you fruity wuss, grow up a little. Take your stance and let's do this again."

"'kay." He rubbed his eyes and shakily got off the floor, his mother beaming and giving him a thumbs-up. He could feel her heart reaching out to his saying Do your best! He nodded. As soon as he took guard position Tatsuki disarmed him with a single strike and threw him over her shoulder. He started crying.

It went on like that for two hours until it was time to go. Masaki Kurosaki, Ichigo's mother, looked down at him kindly and said, "How's my big boy doing?" She kissed him on the cheek and Ichigo felt that he couldn't help but smile. Everything got better when his Momma was around. She was like a goddess so pretty and gracious.

Masaki hugged him tightly, and they stepped out of the dojo and into the rain, making their way through the dense downpour towards home. Ichigo had on his orange rain-boots so he could puddle-jump. He wandered a bit ahead. His mother lifted up her black umbrella and she said, "Don't wander off too far!"

So, to make his Momma happy (and, because he secretly liked to, though he would never ever actually admit it), he took Momma's hand and skipped alongside her as they walked down the sidewalk. It was Ichigo's sixth birthday that day, and Karin's third birthday too. She was his little sister but Karin had even been born on the exact same minute as Ichigo had three years before her. His father Isshin too. They were all celebrating that day. It was supposed to be a supremely happy day.

Many years later it would be hard for him to remember that.

They weren't prepared for the sound. The pain. The crash. It all happened so fast.

It came out of nowhere, screeching down the road. Ichigo only knew and heard that sound for the span of a mere second before his mother cried out "Ichigo!" and pushed him violently. He landed two meters away from her and kept rolling, bruised from where she shoved him, until he stopped, hitting his head against a metal pole. Then, the young boy listened for the first time to the soon-to-be most hated sound he had ever heard in his life. The quiet scream of the dying. It terrified him, this scream, the scream of a torment so great it could not be voiced by words or any sound. It pierced his ears, pounding inside his head, spearing through his heart. A moment later, the silence was normal again, but for the rain.

His vision was blurred, but he could make out a large shape and bright orange, like water cascading down from a tall figure. The figure was limp. "No...not Momma." He started to cry. "Momma...? Momma..." Ichigo got up and stumbled towards her, his little boots and raincoat now useless. He smelled something acrid and it burned his nostrils. He sneezed and coughed. The cough jarred his head, and blinding white pain flashed in his mind. He began wailing, only stopping when he realized that his noise made the pain worse. He sniffled, "Momma...Momma wake...Momma wake up...you have to..." He touched her hand, knew that familiar warmth and softness, but it didn't have that Momma is here feeling that it usually gave off. His vision cleared for a bit, though the downpour had only just intensified.

It was like there was a silent keening noise arising as the rain splattered onto the ground. Like the sky was lamenting something sad. So sad.

"Momma please..." he tugged on her hand. Her eyes were looking softly down, he could have sworn she was looking straight at him. She had a faint smile on her lips, that secret smile, the one she saved for the men in her family that she loved most. He realized that she couldn't be reached, and that the only reason she was still standing though slumped, was the great grocer's tuck that pinned her against a wall. "Momma...Momma, no..." Black oozed out of her mouth, but then he realized that it was red. He realized that she would never get to say those special words to him "How's my big boy doing?" or smile that special, special smile. But he didn't cry. He just stared and stared and stared.

The man who must have driven the grocer's truck stepped out covered in red too. He was just a little transparent and disappeared altogether when Ichigo looked at him from a certain angle.

"What...what happened...?" The man was puzzled. He saw a boy with blood on his head and a woman pinned in front by his truck. "My god...my god...my god..." He didn't notice the stains on his own shirt, how his head was broken open and spilling like the unfortunate melons he had been transporting in the back. He was panicked, fussing over the boy, not comprehending when his hands couldn't grasp the orange-haired child.

"Momma." Ichigo whispered, "you're..." Ichigo touched the man on the arm and the man felt like he was immaterial. It was like the time Ichigo had placed his hand on the water and felt the surface not break, but give. Surface tension. A light appeared around the man and he began sinking into the ground. He cried out but Ichigo said nothing. The boy waited until the grocer was gone before he started walking home.

That grocer had been Ichigo's first ghost.

That day was the last time Tatsuki could ever say that she saw Ichigo smile. He never looked happy again.