"For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest
Title: Don't Stop
Pen name: Morrissey Is God
Existing work: N/A
Primary Players: Jasper, Edward
Disclaimer: I wish I owned me a Jasper... But unfortunantly.. I own none of it.
To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/
So I wrote this a few days ago.. But figured it wouldn't hurt to enter it.. :)
I cringed as I felt the disgust radiating from Edward as I walked into the living room. He promptly got up and flew up the stairs, so quickly his form was just a blur. I sighed as I sat down on the sofa and stared blankly at the television. He'd been ignoring me since he and Carlisle had found me in the forest where they had been hunting. Apparently Edward could read minds and he'd heard my internal struggles, alerting Carlisle to my presence. I don't think he'd intended for his companion to welcome me into his house and to teach me their unique way of living, and he wasn't dealing with it well.
I turned my attention to the program that was on, documenting the hunting habits of animals in the wild. I vaguely noted the irony of it, and heard a low chuckle coming from upstairs. I smiled slightly. I often heard him react to my thoughts – whether in disgust or amusement – but he'd never spoken to me directly. I couldn't blame him, I was disgusted at myself most of the
time. When they got to me, I hadn't hunted for weeks and I was weak and so thirsty I thought I would go insane. They'd both had to physically restrain me when we'd passed a pair of hikers on the way back to the house.
I'd remained shut up in the room Carlisle had given me for several days, not talking or moving. Eventually Carlisle had given up trying to coax me out, and had brought me a large flask full of blood, straight from a freshly slain deer. It was lukewarm and my initial response had been to reject the meal, but as I saw the pleading in his eyes and remembered my own despair at what I'd become I knew I had to try, if not for him then for myself. I had forced myself to drink the foul tasting liquid and the pride I'd felt from Carlisle just increased my guilt as I knew I didn't deserve it.
After that I'd showered and put on the clean clothes Edward had left out for me and went down to speak to the two vampires who'd saved me from myself. Edward had, of course, left the room as soon as I'd joined them, but Carlisle had remained, happy to talk to me and explain their way of living.
It had been a month since that day, and I was not finding the struggle to adjust any easier than the first day. Both Edward and Carlisle had to come with me went I hunted in case we once again came across the path of humans and I went into a frenzy. It had only happened once, and they had only just been able to keep me from running after them even with their combined strength. I had returned to my room for a week after this incidence, and only came out when the thirst was becoming over-whelming once again, and I could see without using my ability that Edward thought even less of me than he had before, his lip curled into a sneer as he watched me joining them on a hunt.
I knew Edward was listening to my thoughts as I recounted what had happened since they'd found me, as I could feel the usual waves of disgust radiating from his room above me. But amongst the disgust were other feelings, things I'd never felt from him before. Pity.. Regret? What did he regret? I heard movement above me and a second later Edward was standing by me.
"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. You didn't deserve it, it wasn't your fault you were dragged into this life. None of us ask for this." I stared at him for a second, feeling the regret strengthen and the disgust fade away to nothing.
I do deserve it. I'm a monster. I spoke in my head, not wanting Carlisle to hear – he'd already given me his opinion on me thinking of myself as a monster.
"He's right. You're only a monster if you let yourself be one. The fact that you've chosen to leave that life behind proves you're not."
I don't know if I can do this.
"We're here to help you. If you want to do it, you will. If you don't, then you won't." I could feel pride emanating from another room, and I knew Carlisle was listening to our seemingly one-sided conversation and was pleased his companion had finally spoken to me. I didn't blame Edward for ignoring me until now. I wasn't worth the trouble.
"You are worth it," he said, and turned to leave again, obviously done with the conversation.
Thank you. I don't know yet if you're right, but thank you for your faith. He nodded and left the room once again.
*
Three weeks later I was once again sitting in front of the television, not paying any attention to what was on, but listening to the hushed voices across the house.
"The human blood is completely gone from his body now, Carlisle, he's no stronger than you or I."
"I still don't want to risk the two of you encountering a human, Edward."
"I can read minds, Carlisle," Edward said, sounding exasperated. "I can listen for any humans, and if it comes to it I can hear Jasper's thoughts and get to him before he has a chance to act."
I tried to block out their conversation, confused as to why Edward was fighting so hard to be able to go hunting alone with me.
"I trust him Carlisle. Don't you trust us?"
He sighed deeply. "Of course I trust you, both of you. Jasper has come so far in so short a time. I just don't want anything to happen which could set him right back to the beginning."
I respected Carlisle, and would be eternally grateful to him for all he's done for me, but I felt like a small child again, needing constant supervision.
"Give him a chance to prove he can do this," Edward said quietly. "He feels ashamed having to be babysat all the time." I cringed knowing he was reading my thoughts even while he was talking about me to Carlisle.
There was a long pause. "Take your cell phone, call me if you have any problems."
Edward came into the room, and sat opposite me. "I'm sorry, I find it hard to block your thoughts. It's easier the longer I know someone. Plus you don't close your mind to me as well as Carlisle."
"It's ok. I was listening to your conversation anyway." He smiled. Thank-you. For arguing for me.
He shook his head. "Carlisle trusts you, he just worries. You need to get out and test yourself sometime."
Can we go now? I don't want to be too thirsty, in case we do meet someone.
"Let's go," he said, smiling crookedly. We both jumped up and leapt out of the door, running full out for the forest. Edward beat me to the border, and I skidded to a halt a little behind him. I could feel the joy coming from Edward in waves, and allowed it to soak in and affect my own emotions. I crouched, giving over to the beast inside of me, reaching out with all my senses to find my prey. I smelt a pair of deer by the stream, and let Edward know in my mind. He nodded at me, and we made our way silently towards them. I sent out a wave of calm, hitting the animals so that they didn't move when they saw us. We pounced on them, looking every part the wild animal that I had watched weeks ago on the television. We both bit into the neck, draining them quickly and dropping the carcasses.
"That was too easy," Edward said, smirking slightly as we got up, straightening our clothes as if we'd simply been sitting down for a rest.
I shrugged. It was quick and efficient.
He rolled his eyes at me. "But no fun. Are you still thirsty?"
Not really.
"Let's go back then. I'm sure Carlisle will be pleased to see us back so soon."
I smiled, turning back towards home, when it hit me. The scent of a human, blood so sweet I though I might die if I didn't get to taste it. I immediately froze.
"Edward," I called out, sounding strangled, not breathing. His eyes widened slightly before he was at my side, his hand on my shoulder.
"Jasper, it's ok, just don't breathe. Walk away from it."
I need to taste it.
"You don't need to. You're doing so well. Come on, move." He pulled my arm but I couldn't move.
I want it so badly. I've never smelt anything like it.
"Jas, don't ruin everything you've worked so hard for, please," he said, softly.
I sobbed, a silent shudder going through my body. Don't let me do it. Edward pulled both my arms, pinning them behind my back and dragging me away from the scent and towards home. I could see his own eyes were pitch black with blood lust, but he didn't let go of me as I struggled to get out of his iron grip. As the smell gradually faded as we got further away, I stopped trying to escape, falling into his arms.
I'm sorry. Thank you, again.
"We should find something else for you to drink." He lowered me gingerly to the ground, where I sat, curled up in a ball.
"I wanted to kill them so badly. Why was it so much worse than usual?"
"Carlisle has a theory, that some humans' blood appeals much more than others to certain vampires. He calls it La Tua Cantante – your singer."
I shuddered, remembering the pull.
"You should be proud, Jasper, if that was your singer and you managed to let it go... Most vampires can't do that."
"I wouldn't have managed if I'd been on my own."
"That's why I'm here, Jas, to help you." He spoke softly, not looking at me. Confusion was radiating from him, and hitting me.
"Are you ok?" I asked him, and he snapped his head up to meet my gaze.
"I'm fine," he said shortly. "Let's find another deer or something, then we can go home."
We found another group of deer and I drank until I was completely full before we made our way home, walking at human pace. Neither of us were speaking to one another, both too lost in our own thoughts. He was still feeling confused and I wanted to ask why, but didn't want to push him.
"I'm just.. wondering about this singer stuff, whether it really is true," he said, finally breaking the silence. "Sorry," he added, realising he'd answered my thoughts out loud.
I smiled. "It's ok. All I know is, if you hadn't been there that poor person would have been dead within seconds." He cringed slightly, and I looked at him apologetically.
"Like I said, that's what I'm here for, to help you." Again, the confusion. "He hurried on, "Carlisle had to look after me for a long time if it helps. I went through... A rebellious stage, I guess you could say." I grinned, not entirely surprised to hear about Edward rebelling. He rolled his eyes at me, amused at his own expense. "Come on, let's run," he said, and took off, with me a split second behind him.
We got back to the house, laughing and just revelling in the joy of feeling so free. Carlisle came out of his office, surprised to see us so happy together. "It went well then I take it?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.
Edward grinned. "We came across a stray human, and you can see for yourself he didn't attack."
I could feel the pride coming off of both of them, and couldn't handle the guilt I felt. "I would have, if Edward hadn't been there," I mumbled. "It was the most incredible thing I've ever smelt.
Edward glared at me. "But you didn't want to kill an innocent person. I heard your thoughts, Jas, you were pleading with me not to let you. That's a big difference to the last time we caught the scent of a hiker." He turned to Carlisle and answered an unspoken thought. "Yes. We think it was his singer. To me it just smelt good, but I could hear Jasper and it really wasn't like anything he's ever encountered."
I grumbled slightly, not liking being talked about as if I wasn't standing right there, and they both smirked at my childishness. I huffed and ran up the stairs to my room, figuring I might as well continue the moody child act now I'd started it.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. I started; I hadn't even heard anyone come upstairs. "I know you're in there, Jasper," Edward said when I ignored the door. "I can hear you." I didn't think I'd ever get used to him listening to my thoughts. A wave of amusement. "You will do. Come on, don't sulk in your room again just because you found a human appealing."
I snorted, but knew that was what I was doing – sulking. Fine. Come in. He pushed the door open and shot across the room, sitting on the other side of my bed. Stupid bed. I hadn't been able to sleep for over a century. He laughed. Ugh. Stop reading my thoughts.
"I'm sorry," he said, and I regretted my words instantly when he got up to leave.
"No, I'm sorry. Stay?" I laid back on my bed as Edward flopped down beside me. His hand brushed mine, and I felt a strange spark of electricity. I pulled away, feeling his own surprise as well as mine. "So," I said, trying to ignore what had just happened. "You go back to school soon, right?"
"Yes." I could still feel his surprise, and once again confusion. And.. lust?! My eyes widened and I sat up, turning to look at him. His eyes were closed, and he was shaking his head slightly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"I.. don't.. it's ok," I stuttered. The feeling was still there, though it was more muted, as though he was trying to suppress it.
"I.. I have to go," he choked out, fleeing from the room.
I laid back down on my bed, now feeling my own confusion. Was he attracted to me? Or was that just a rogue emotion, not intended for me? If it was, why would he run away like that? I needed to go and talk to him. I got up slowly, walking at human speed as I made my way up to Edward's room. Can I come in? I asked in my head, not bothering to knock.
I could feel his embarrassment still coming from inside, so I knew he was in there. I just want to talk to you. I heard him sigh, and he got up to unlock the door. I pushed it open and saw him sitting on his black leather couch, his knees drawn up to his chest. I'd never seen a vampire look so vulnerable.
Are you ok? I asked for the second time that day, as I sat down next to him. He nodded tightly, still not speaking. Was.. Was that.. feeling.. Was it for me?
He raised his eyebrows. "Who else would it have been for?" His voice was low and mocking.
It's ok. I mean.. you can't help what you feel.
He scoffed. "The Texan soldier, telling me it's ok to be a homosexual?"
Times change, Edward, and not everyone shares the same views. He ignored me, gazing at his feet. I took the opportunity to study him. His messy bronze locks of hair were falling into his dark amber eyes, covering half his face. The faint purple shadows under his eyes stood out in stark contrast against his snow white skin, despite our hunt just an hour ago. You didn't drink enough. It was a statement, not a question. He shrugged. Why?
"Watching you hunt, it was.. You're like a wild cat, so graceful, so primal..." he trailed off in embarrassment. "I didn't want you to feel what I was feeling so I needed to get home."
His long, pale hands were resting on his knees, and I found myself wanting to reach out, to comfort him. He looked at me, and hesitantly put his hand on the couch between us, palm up. I placed my own on top of it, and jumped as I once again felt the spark between us. I relaxed as I felt him become calmer. "Thank you," he said, no more words needed. I curled my fingers between his, and he did the same, our palms pressing against each other, the faint current still between us. I felt another shot of lust from him, but rather than pull away I looked up and smirked at him.
I wasn't sure what was going on, but I didn't dislike the feeling. I saw the bulge in his pants, and my eyes widened slightly before my own cock responded. Edward was now wearing his own crooked grin, all embarrassment and despair gone and replaced with lust. Both of us leaned towards each other at the same time, our lips meeting softly. I moaned softly as he ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened to allow him into my mouth.
He pressed gently on my shoulders, so I was lying down on the sofa, with him above me. Our tongues continued their dancing in the battle for dominance, as his hands moved under my shirt, ghosting up my ribs to my chest. I faintly registered the fact that we could do this forever – no need to stop to breathe as a human would have to. He chuckled against my lips and I realised he was still reading my thoughts.
The arm rest of the sofa was digging uncomfortably into my back, and I was in serious danger of falling off the edge. Bed, I thought to him, noting the irony that I'd been cursing it's lack of use not long ago. He sat up, and lifted me, his hands under my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms locked around his neck. He stumbled towards my room as his didn't have a bed, lacking his usual vampiric grace.
He pushed the door closed behind us with his foot, and almost threw us down onto the bed, ripping my shirt off over my head, buttons scattering across the room. His hands gently traced the scars covering my body; he'd seen them before, when my shirt had got ripped in the early days of learning to hunt animals rather than humans, but now he was touching each one as though he could make them go away.
I ripped his own shirt away, and pulled his head back down to mine, kissing him furiously as our cold, hard chests pressed together. We parted again, panting for the unnecessary air as we tried to regain some sort of control. "What do you want, Jas?" Edward whispered, moving his mouth down to my neck and sucking.
"Aah.. Please.." I struggled to get any coherent words out. Fuck me. I felt his surprise and excitement at my thoughts, and he reached down to unbuckle my belt, pulling my jeans and boxers down together, and stripping my socks off my feet. He looked down at me, smirking slightly at my engorged cock, standing to attention for him. He pulled off the rest of his own clothes before dipping his head down to taste me, his movement so fast I didn't register it until I felt his mouth on me.
I bucked into his face as he licked the entire length and he held my hips down, pinning me to the bed. My hands entwined in his hair as he began to move his head down, taking me in until I could feel my dick hitting the back of his mouth. I moaned loudly as he sucked, his cheeks forming a vacuum around me as he relaxed his throat. I whimpered when he released me with a loud pop, and he grinned wickedly at me. As he moved back up to kiss me, I took his own cock in my hand, pumping excruciatingly slowly, causing him to growl deeply into my mouth.
He gently removed my hand from himself, before scooting back down the bed, and lifting my legs up over his shoulders. He lowered his head and sucked softly on my balls, before dragging his tongue down to my entrance. I felt him probing before he thrust his tongue in, and I heard a strange mewling noise. I realised I was making the noise, and I gripped his hair in my hands again as he continued to fuck me with his tongue. Fuck... Edward... Fuck! Please...
He looked up at me, removing his tongue. "What do you want, Jas?" he asked me, his wicked smile in place once more. I grabbed his cock, squeezing tightly.
"This. In me. Now." His eyes rolled back in his head slightly before he spread my legs as far apart as they would go, placing my feet flat on the bed. I felt the head of his cock press between my buttocks and I felt a moment of panic before he pushed in, slowly and gently.
"It's ok," he said softly. "I'm not going to hurt you." I felt myself stretching to receive him, the pain slowly fading and he continued to push in until he was buried inside of me. He stayed still, letting me get used to his size and allowing the small amount of pain to go away. I rocked my hips against him, and he groaned quietly, before pulling out. I whimpered at the loss before he slammed back into me, and I gasped at the feeling as he began to thrust furiously. One of his hands held my hip tightly while the other reached down between us, stroking me.
"Fuck.. Jasper. You're so fucking.. tight."
Don't stop, I said, even my thoughts sounding strained.
"Not gonna.. last long," he said, as he sped up both his thrusts into me and the movement of his hand on my cock. I felt my stomach and balls tightening, and I knew I was close. "Me too, Baby," he grunted, and I projected the pleasure I was feeling back at him, and I felt him as he came, spilling his venom inside me, sending me over the edge as well. He continued to thrust as we rode out our orgasms, before collapsing on top of me. We were both breathing heavily as he rolled us over to lie on our sides, pulling out of me.
Wow... Edward snickered at my thought.
"Yeah. That's one way of putting it."
