A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.
I am a bit stuck on my other stories. Today was a rough one emotionally. Everytime I turned around I was hit with a memory of my friend who lost her battle with cancer on December Fourth, ironically it was exactly four years to the day that I had lost my Mom as well to a different illness . Whether it was a song, or something so innocuous that it's part of every day life. I need to write away the sadness that is weighing me down. This is my escape.
Tissue warning
Lemon Tree
I couldn't keep the tears at bay, no matter how hard I tried. It wasn't fair. She isn't supposed to be gone. She is my best friend, my confidant, my sister, and my sounding board. This wasn't supposed to happen to her. She was a wife, a mother, a daughter. The list is endless with the amount of lives she's touched. She's been gone two months to the day today.
I didn't want to face the day, she is well and truly gone. The project I helped Grandma with yesterday was something Mare and I often did together. Today I was sitting at my computer and our favorite song came up. It wasn't that it was a very good song, but the memories it held are what is special to us. I thought the lyrics said something other than what they did and we laughed every time we heard it. Now, I can't stop listening to it.
Follow me, everything is all right...
No, it wasn't alright. It wouldn't be alright ever again. He boys need her, I need her.
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night...
No more phone calls at the end of each day, just to say hello and share what happened. No more long chats and girls night out. I can't help but sob uncontrollably at the chorus. I didn't want to listen and I couldn't hear it over my breaking heart.
You're feeling guilty...
Guilty wasn't a strong enough word for what I was feeling. I wasn't there enough for her and I know it. I needed more time with her here. I needed my best friend with me! I needed her more than God. He shouldn't have taken her from all of us. I should have been holding her hand; not a glass of wine when she was dying.
and I'm well aware...
No one could be aware of what I was going through. No one could understand the heart break that I was feeling. She wasn't blood, but she was my sister. The chorus came up again and I knew I had to sing along, wrong words and all.
Follow me, everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
and if you want to leave
I can lemon tree
you won't find nobody else likes me...
I felt a slight breeze rub against my cheek as the tears rolled down my cheeks. My heart felt lighter than it had in two months. My crying slowed and I felt the strength I needed to go meet Lenny and the boys for lunch. I had a photo album give them of our memories. They needed it and the stories behind each one.
As I gathered up my things, I could have sworn that I heard a booming laugh with a snort and the words lemon tree, surround me. I was going to be okay, and would let her boys know every thing I could remember about the wonderful woman they called mom.
A/N Amy and I would laugh so hard over that song and sing lemon tree instead of guarantee every single time we heard it.
