Endurance's End - Chapter 1
A/N: This is a work-in-progress and I understand entirely if people prefer not to read until it is finished. I have the plot and a tentative chapter outline so far, but I am not sure how long it will end up being. It begins shortly after Lydia has been invited to accompany Mrs Forster to Brighton. Pairings will eventually include Jane/OC and Elizabeth/Darcy.
To the many reviewers of 'Superior is as Superior Does', thank you all very much for your enthusiasm and kind words. When I have completed this story, I believe I will go back and continue 'Superior', but I do not wish to have more than one story being posted at a time.
When Jane woke to another sunny May morning, Elizabeth was already gone from their room. Walking the woods and meadows no doubt, releasing her emotions in activity. It was not Jane's way to do the same, and as the reality of another day alone and without hope crashed down, her head began to ache.
However, one must not remain in bed all day so Jane made herself get up, wash and dress as she should. Breakfast with all the family awaited her and since Lydia was in the highest of spirits due to her forthcoming departure for Brighton, Jane found herself to be last one arriving at the table. She managed a gentle smile at Elizabeth and their father and concentrated on keeping her despondent mood and lack of genuine appetite from showing. It was hard work.
For a little while, Jane managed to not hear her youngest sister and her mother planning their trip to the Meryton shops to begin outfitting Lydia. However, Kitty's abrupt flood of tears at being told – quite harshly – that she would not be getting any new frocks today was just too much. Speaking over Lydia's careless offer of a new bonnet ribbon instead, Jane cried "It IS unfair!" Her tone was so cross that Lizzy, Mr Bennet, Mary and Kitty all looked to Jane in astonishment.
"It's not my fault…" began Lydia, in the gleeful, smug tone that they had all heard far too much of since the invitation had arrived yesterday.
"Oh yes it is!" returned Jane, not stopping even when Lydia gasped in affront and Mrs Bennet spluttered is surprise. "You with your shameful, shameless behaviour, you disgrace us all. It is your fault, yours and Mama's and yours Papa. If you did not expose us all to so much ridicule, then we might be respectable. As it is, no sensible man – much less one wealthy enough to support us when Papa is gone – will marry any of us."
Protests were immediately voiced and Mr Bennet reached over to pat Jane's hand. "Such squeamish gentlemen who cannot bear a little ridicule –"
Jane yanked her hand away. "No!" she cried, "It is not so small a matter as that. Oh Papa! Do you not see? Do you truly not hear what is said of us? Do you truly not understand that with no inheritance, all any of your daughters have is our reputation? More, that the actions of one of us affects us all?" She drew in an unsteady breath – the room was deathly silent. "How can you, Papa? How can you countenance this Brighton scheme? Lydia's flirtation – her lack of propriety – her lack of any sense at all!" Turning to face the end of the table, where her mother was still attempting to make sense of such an outburst, Jane continued. "Mama, Lydia has no chance of marrying well at Brighton. To be sure the officers can be pleasant company, but there is none of them who would be able to support a penniless wife in more than the most meager of comfort. What does Lydia – what do any of us – know about managing such a household? Lydia herself cannot even make her allowance last a month, much less a quarter! How can you encourage her in such foolishness?"
Mrs Bennet huffed and spoke a little sharply. "Lydia isn't about to marry one of them."
"She has not the sense to preserve her virtue for anyone more deserving!"
The entire family was shocked. Such words would be harsh from anyone – from gentle Jane, they were unprecedented.
"Last November was the happiest time of my life. An excellent gentleman admired me and I… I preferred him to any other I have ever met. But he left, Mama. He left without a word and his sisters have cut the acquaintance. Before him, there was Mr Fothergill. And before that was Mr Jameson.* Must I go on? The one constant, Mama, is us, not them. Despite all the eligible gentlemen, none of us - aside from Lizzy – has ever been offered for." Jane did not look at anyone. She could not. "But you will send the silliest of us all to Brighton. How do you think the officers will 'teach her her own insignificance', Papa? And if the best happens and they merely ignore her, have you considered that free from all restraint, she will stop at nothing to regain their attention? And being only fifteen, do you really think she has the understanding to keep herself out of trouble?"
Elizabeth could follow Jane's reasoning all too well. Mary did as well, although she did not easily follow it to the unspoken conclusion. Kitty was puzzled but understanding was slowly dawning on her. Mrs Bennet and Lydia did not follow it well at all; the former was caught up in an effort to think of an officer who would have enough money to marry and the latter perceived it only as an attempt to stop her fun.
Mr Bennet, however, was troubled. Despite his manners and neglect, he loved his eldest daughter and for the first time in he did not know how many years, he found himself wanting to fix the cause of her distress. Habit pressed him to shy away from acknowledging the truth of Jane's words and consequently, the guilt at having failed to protect and provide for his family. Instead, he looked down at his plate and finding the remains of his meal unappealing, he abruptly pushed back his chair and withdrew to his bookroom.
With her father gone, Jane gulped and almost as abruptly stood and fled the table herself, seeking refuge in a far corner of Longbourn's garden. Elizabeth followed her.
"Dearest Jane." Elizabeth said, dropping down beside her quietly sobbing sister and wrapping Jane in a comforting hug.
Jane could not speak; she merely buried her face in Lizzy's shoulder and sobbed. She had not known she could cry so much, but it seemed that once her emotions were thus freed, they would not release her easily.
Elizabeth had no words of comfort to offer and in seeing the depth of Jane's despair, she could not help shedding tears of her own. What comfort could either of them find in the ugly truth of their situation? She had been forced to face it herself a few scant weeks before in Hunsford.
Eventually, exhaustion brought Jane's tempest to a close and she managed to regain her now tattered cloak of serenity. "I am sorry, Lizzy, for such an outburst. It was very wrong of me."
The apology annoyed Elizabeth and she scolded her sister. "It was not wrong at all! We have all taken support from your goodness; you are surely entitled to express your feelings after so many years of patience!"
"But to speak so to our mother and father! No, Lizzy. It was wrong of me."
"I cannot agree with you. However, I do not see that we must dwell on your actions. Oh Jane! As much as I try, I cannot find a way forward! To stay at Longbourn forever is impossible, but how are we to find an agreeable match? We have tried waiting for single men of sufficient fortune to move into the neighbourhood. We have been to London with our aunt and uncle and, given there has been no one but your poor poet take notice of us, for five years it all comes to nothing."
Jane nodded sadly.
Elizabeth did not like the bleakness of her thoughts or her sister's expression and, as she ever had, sought the absurd to divert them. "Indeed, I am almost at the point of wondering if we should go to Kent and beg Lady Catherine to be of use to us!" she suggested most impishly.
"Lizzy!" Jane had to smile, although it was a much more wan expression than usual.
"Do you not think it a most excellent notion? For she is a most gracious and condescending patroness and dearly loves to be use!"
"Lizzy!"
"Oh very well. I shall not suggest it again." Elizabeth smiled, lingering melancholy poorly masked by bittersweet amusement. "Come, we shall go wash our faces and fetch our bonnets and walk into Meryton to see what sweets the baker has today for I intend to treat you and will not accept a no!"
* Mr Fothergill and Mr Jameson are not of importance; they are just reasonably eligible gentlemen who have admired Jane in the past but have since moved on.
