A/N: What can I say? I just couldn't help it. Okay? Shoot me, duh!
Disclaimer: All the FF7 characters belong to Squeenix. So what? Even if they were mine they couldn't go through more than they already do...

DOMESTIC WORK

„GENESIS!!!"

The mako-enhanced howl made the walls tremble. Genesis stopped from fastening his belts for a moment and sighed in sheer delight:

„He likes it!"

„GENESIS RHAPSODOS, MOVE YOUR SORRY BUTT OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!"

„No, he definitely LOVES it!", Genesis sighed again blissfully, his mouth splitting in a grin wide enough to almost reach his ears.

Then he just proceeded with putting on his straps.

Angeal smacked his face and grabbed the redhead by one of the said straps, dragging him to where Sephiroth was.

„What on Gaia did you do this time, you crazy lunatic?" he wailed, half-furious, half-exasperated. „You just can't help it, can you?? Things went so well these days, I should have known you were bound to cook something, it was too damn quiet around here, just too good to be tru..."

Then he just choke on the words as his jaw hit the floor almost literally at the sight.

* * * * *

The main result was that Genesis' atrocious deed most probably saved the General's life, which the redhead made sure to remind him for months on end – if not years! – every time poor Sephiroth wailed about being the main victim of Genesis' pranks.

„See? SEE? I saved your life! I did!! There you go! Now whaddya have to say for yourself??"

That is, in that particular morning the General was supposed to go on a mission in Wutai with another few soldiers, while Angeal and Genesis had to attend a VERY boring meeting with the President and then some field drills.

Maybe this was Genesis' way to protest against being left out of the action to deal with a bunch of greasy bureaucrats instead of doing what he had trained for, i.e. fight, or maybe his deed had been as random as some of his pranks seemed to be, there's no way to tell, but one sure thing is that it prevented Sephiroth from going in that mission.

Which, sure as hell, saved his life. Period.

And duh! yes! they (as in Genesis in fact) had to invent some other totally unexpected event that required the General's presence elsewhere in some Goddessforsaken place where even phones didn't have the slightest shread of signal.

That's because, of course, they couldn't pretend that the greatest soldier of them all had fallen ill all of a sudden, as that would have meant a totally unwanted and frightening visit to Hojo the Slimeball, a prospect that even zee great General dreaded.

And yes, yes, of course poor Sephiroth felt downright mortified, all the more when it proved that the chopper in which he was supposed to have been, together with the soldiers and the officer replacing him, had a sudden malfunction right above the ocean and eventually went down disintegrating in a ball of flames, understandably with no survivors whatsoever.

Sephiroth had been eaten by guilt and remorse. He should have been in it! He should have died together with them, like a good commander of his soldiers!

Which Genesis completely dismissed with a wave of his fine, elegant hand:

„Bah! Army bullshit! Isn't it stupid to grieve over not dying with a few of your men when you still have a whole darn army that happens to need your guidance? That's not heroism, that's sheer dumbness, mon General! I mean if you were the sole survivor getting out of that chopper, yeah, that'd be a little frustrating and kinda questionable, I'd be the first to admit it, but you weren't even in there in the first place, for Goddess' sake, so stop moping around and rejoice!!"

And well, of course the side result of the whole mishap was that Sephiroth resolved to always have another complete set of equipment ready to be used in case of any... misfortunate events. To call them that.

* * * * *

But, all these said, what had happened after all?

That was a question poor Angeal kept addressing to himself, over and over again, feeling like smacking his head on every wall around.

How could he not see this coming?? Really now, he knew Genesis ever since they were not only kids but mere babies, for Odin's sake! It wasn't the first time Genesis would come with the maddest ideas, he did it all the time and yet he would always manage to take Angeal by surprise. Was he that dumb?? A frightening thought...

No no nooo, of course he wasn't dumb!! It's just that his mind was more... normal; yeah, more settled, so it would never go to the insane extents Genesis' mind did on a daily basis.

Well, his too mischievous friend would probably say that he didn't have enough imagination. Or not at all... Maybe so, but this imagination thing could be good indeed only up to a point, isn't it? Otherwise, over a certain degree, it could prove to become even dangerous! Any need to demonstrate this?!

There he was, only a day before, seconding Genesis in a shopping tour. He had taken the heroic task to accompany Genesis in such an enterprise merely because he intended to do his best to limit the possible damage, as Genesis was known to be most dangerous to be left to carry out the shopping unleashed. He would most probably come back with half the needed items and loads of other totally unwanted ones instead.

And yet things seemed to have gone surprisingly well for most of their shopping trip. Trip, mind you, not spree!

The items on their list were almost entirely checked now, only a couple of minor things still left to be found.

Even when Genesis stopped, mesmerized, at the haberdashery store, Angeal didn't feel like getting alarmed. He got closer, frowning a bit in confusion and checking the list again, unsure. Thread? Needles? Buttons? Anything else like this? They weren't on the list. What else then could catch his auburn-haired friend's attention?

He bent over the counter, following Genesis' gaze, and saw it. No wonder! His eyes went wide in astonishment. That was indeed something you could certainly find only in Midgar! They didn't call this polluted dump „the wonder city – where you could find anything you wished" just for nothing!

For Odin, he could bet all his money that more than three quarters of this miserable city's people had never even heard of Banora or its emblematic product, the pride of its inhabitants – i.e. the dumbapples, of course! And as much as them Banorans took pride in their unique fruit, neither there, nor even in Mideel, the nearest tourist trap, you couldn't find such things to buy. Yet here in Midgar...

He watched with mixed feelings the thing displayed right there, under his very own eyes, the one that had attracted without fail Genesis' eyes as well:

A roll of lace.

Yes sir.

A bright red lace to be said, bordered with a shiny silky thread and embroidered with little purple apples.

You couldn't find such trifles in Banora or Mideel to save your life! But here it was, in Midgar!! Gods, sometimes he downright hated this city!

OF COURSE they had left the store with what seemed to him like endless yards from the wretched thing, but he didn't exactly have the heart to stop Genesis from buying it. Duh, it was a reminder of their birthplace...

And of course he had asked his friend what he was planning to do with all that lace. Genesis only watched him with a dreamy and slightly unfocused gaze and finally said that uhm, he hadn't really given a thought to that yet, but he would surely find a proper use for it. Like, for instance, border all their pillow-cases with it; yeah, why not? Wouldn't that look really nice??

Well no, not in Angeal's opinion anyway, but then again, why discourage his dear childhood friend? At least, as long as he kept spending his energy on such domestic work, they were safe from other more dangerous ideas that could cross his mind, Goddess forbid it!! So why not humor him? After all, what could be that awful in having all their bedding bordered with a bright red lace with purple apples as long as only they got to see it and absolutely no one else? Well, his mom would probably love it too, if she only got a chance to see it. Maybe next time they could buy a few yards for her too. Or he could put aside some of the already bought one; after all, Genesis had gotten so much of it that he wouldn't even notice for sure.

Right, even Seph might like it eventually, as he was usually more than tolerant to Genesis' every whim that concerned the decoration of their home.

* * * * *

The evening after their shopping time went really smooth. Surprisingly, Genesis didn't boast on their new acquisition. He didn't even mention it in fact. Rather unusual, to say the least, as he normally was the kind that had to spill out such things right there on the spot, but Angeal thought that he probably wanted to surprise Seph with the finished product so to say, and therefore he didn't utter a word either to not spoil it.

Bad move, huh?

Because, come to think of it, what if Seph would hate to have all that lace on each and every piece of his bedclothes?...

Nah, poor him would comply even with that.

And besides, Seph was so busy with the last preparatives for the mission next day that Angeal felt even grateful to Genesis for not distracting him with such trivialities.

And THAT had indeed proven to be a bad, BAD, BAAAAAAD move!!!

Because the very next morning, dragging a blissful Genesis with him by one of his straps to the epicentre of Sephiroth's howls, Angeal found himself in the hall, gaping at his friend, The Almightly General Sephiroth Of Shinra, who obviously had hurriedly put on his boots and coat without even turning on the light and – oh the dread! – only when he had felt something funny, his shaky hand must have went to the light switch...

And Angeal's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he watched his murderous-looking friend wearing, in all his glory, a full-battle equipment, armor and all, bordered from the lapels of his coat down to the very last seam AND the buckles of his boot-straps, with three overlapped layers of frills made from the infamous bright red lace with dumbapples...

„WHAT!!", Genesis exclaimed, his eyes – twin lakes of shiny, clear blue. „Don't you dare say it doesn't look good on him!!!"

Two 1st Class Soldiers smacked their heads on the nearest walls, while the redhead just sniffed, looking hurt to the bone:

„Some day one of these things I do is gonna save your life and we'll just see then, General Stiffroth, Sir! We'll just see!"

*(HAPPY?) END*


A/N: Oh well, in case you wonder where this insanity came from, it's because I saw this chick in the subway wearing a leather coat all bordered with lace!! Yeah, and not any lace but that frilly, diaphanous kind you only expect to see on underwear... So I just couldn't resist it, mwaha! I know, I know, I get such mad ideas, can't help it. The rest is history, so to say, poor Seph is always the perfect victim for such misdeeds, hehe...

Don't throw bricks at me you Seph fans, I love him too in fact, honestly!