This is pure angst, and I'm not even sorry. I was inspired by the new Tyler Shields promo pictures of Dark Swan and the comment about love being used as a weapon this season. And I had to write a thing.
Summary: Killian meets the Dark Swan.
i will follow you into the dark (but i won't let the darkness steal us away)
Her voice was different.
Even with her back to him, the sharp "stay away from me, Killian" thrown over her shoulder, he knew this wasn't his Emma. This wasn't the woman who, less than 24 hours earlier, had tearfully allowed a broken "I love you" to fall from her lips seconds before she'd pushed him away and sacrificed herself for the good of everyone in the blasted town. The good of everyone but herself…and him. When the dagger had clattered to the ground, the silence following her disappearance thundering painfully in his heart and making him feel like a drowning man unable to take a breath, her name had glinted at him. Taunting. Mocking.
Emma Swan.
His salvation. His savior. And now the Dark One. Now, the very thing he'd loathed for three centuries. But there wasn't an ounce of loathing left in him now. A bone-deep ache of emptiness had taken its place, nestled deep into his chest and thrumming under his skin in a stuttering beat that somehow resembled her name. Em-ma. Em-ma. Em-ma.
Mary Margaret had cried, wrapped in David's arms. Regina and Robin had held onto one another and stared in silent shock at the empty space, the gaping hole, left by Emma's selfless sacrifice.
And Killian had no one.
Stood there, eyes burning and throat raw from yelling her name, Killian felt the familiar sting of loss settling over him. First his mother. Then Liam, and Milah. Now Emma. Everyone he loved was taken from him. And every woman in his life had whispered those three words to him before they'd left him broken and alone.
I love you.
His mother had died when he was six, frail hands held tight by her two sons. She'd whispered her undying love for them as she passed, and that was the first time Killian had learned that love was so closely allied with pain.
The memory of Milah cradled in his arms, the stars he'd grown so accustomed to seeing in her storm-grey eyes dimming so quickly that it wrenched his own heart from his chest. She'd whispered her love for him as she passed, and once more Killian had been reminded that love was never too far from pain.
Emma had pressed his hand to her chest, the strong and steady beating of her heart beneath his palm saying everything she regretted holding back. He knew that he was about to lose her. But he hadn't counted on not even having chance to give her words back to her. She whispered her love for him before she pushed him back, taking his heart and soul with her as she gave herself to the darkness, and yet again Killian remembered that love and pain would somehow always find one another.
After she'd gone, he'd dropped to his knees, every ounce of fight leaving him as the crushing weight of what she'd done sank in. David had been the first to move, taking the dagger and staring down at it, fingers tracing his daughter's name. And what a cruel irony it was. They'd taken Emma's darkness from her, yet now she would be the epitome of darkness. And yet it was the light in her, the true and selfless heroism, that had brought them to their current situation. Killian had almost been able taste the bitterness of it on his tongue.
David had handed the dagger to Killian then, and the weight of it was almost more than he could bear. He was entrusted with it and, under any other circumstance, Killian would have marvelled at such a blessing from David. Emma's father was trusting him with his daughter's soul. The very essence of her trapped inside a piece of metal. He'd gripped the damn thing so tightly that he'd bled, and David's hand on his shoulder, a gentle squeeze, had him consciously loosening his grip.
Regina had wanted to summon her, of course. But Killian, Mary Margaret and David had all shot that idea down immediately. For Killian, summoning her meant truly accepting that she was the Dark One now. He swore he would find her. He swore he wouldn't resort to summoning her like some dark slave to do his bidding. And once Killian Jones set his heart and mind on doing something, he wouldn't rest until it was done.
Regina, Robin and the Charmings had retreated to the loft to gather themselves and to break the terrible news to Henry. David had held back and assured Killian that, should he want to, he was more than welcome to stay at the loft. The offer had meant a lot to Killian but he knew full well he wouldn't be able to sleep until he knew where Emma was.
And so he'd begun his journey. And he'd been somewhat surprised at how easy it had proved to find her. Or at least, the woman who looked like her. Because the woman now standing in front of him was not his Swan.
She was dressed head to toe in leather, and in most other situations that would have been one hell of a turn on for Killian. But right now, all he felt was cold dread settling deep into his bones. Her shoulders were set and she hadn't yet turned to face him. When she did so, he clenched his jaw. She was striking, and he would always be affected by her beauty. But there had been a warmth to her before, a softness that she'd pushed down for fear of it being seen as weakness, yet had never been able to truly hide.
Now, the warmth and love he'd once seen in her eyes were cooler. Not cold, per say. Not yet. But certainly sharper around the edges. And everything he'd wanted to say, the reassurances and promises of bringing her back, suddenly dissolved on his tongue. She stepped back, putting a little more distance between them in the small space of the cove he'd found her hiding out in.
"Stay away from me. It's not safe for you to be-"
She stopped then when her eyes caught on the dagger held in his hand. He followed her gaze and tensed, eyes snapping back up to meet hers.
"You control me."
She stated flatly, eyes dull. He couldn't read her. For the first time since the day they'd met, he couldn't read what was going on behind that jade gaze.
"Your father gave it to me. But I'm not here to use the dagger, you must know that, love."
His voice was pained and he hoped to see a flicker of something, anything, on her face. Nothing. She remained silent.
"Your parents and I, Regina…hell the whole bloody town…we'll find a way to take this darkness out of you, Emma. I promise you that."
She smirked. It wasn't the reaction he'd expected, though he was quickly realizing that he didn't know what exactly to expect from this new version of Emma. She stepped towards him, a somewhat predatory flash in her eyes as she invaded his personal space, fingers smoothing up the lapels of his leather jacket as she held his gaze.
"You don't think this look suits me, Killian? I would have thought the leather look would do things for you."
Her voice was mocking, a teasing edge to her tone. And in one quick movement she was gripping his lapels and pulling him toward her, her lips brushing over his briefly, barely touching yet seemingly drawing out all the air from his lungs.
"Because I kinda like it," she purred, "I like the freedom I finally feel. Nothing holding me back from taking what I want. And right now, Killian…I want you."
Before he even had time for her words to sink in, her lips were on his and he felt like his world was spinning off its axis. She quite often had that effect on him, but this time it was different. This time, there was no tenderness. No gentle nuzzling of her nose against his. No tentative pull back to smile up at him. This time, he felt the primal fire in her taking control, her baser needs scorching over his skin as she dragged her nails down the back of his neck, no doubt branding him as hers.
He was breathless and dazed as he pulled back, his lips red from her rough kisses and the way she'd bitten at them a little harder than he'd ever been used to with her. Sure, they'd had their heated, passionate moments with roaming hands and a crippling desire to take things that step further than they'd ever been able to previously. But this was a whole different game.
She was taking. There was no question, no uncertainty or tentativeness in her actions now. And it rattled him. Enough to snap him back to reality and he stepped away from her, pressing his fingers to his lips just as he had done following their first kiss in Neverland.
"Emma-"
He started, but she cut him off with a laugh. A cold, sharp sound that made him shiver.
"Come on, Hook. Don't turn into a good guy on me now."
And that's what did it. The spell was broken and he clenched his jaw, his grip on the dagger tightening. When she moved to step closer to him again, he raised the dagger between them and her eyes flashed dangerously, lips pressing into a thin line as she reined in whatever emotions had just flared within her.
"Stop, Swan. I won't take you like this. And I won't let you draw me back into the darkness. You brought light back into my life for the first time in a very long time, love. And if you think seducing me will make me forget the man you've helped me become…you're very much mistaken. I will bring you back, Swan. I promise you that. The light in you can overcome the darkness, no matter how tempting it is to simply give in to it. And I will fight for that light, darling. Because it was one of the many reasons I fell in love with you in the first place."
He turned and walked away then, his death grip on the dagger once again drawing blood. But walking away from the woman he loved, the darkness she'd succumbed to resonating from every inch of her, was more painful than any flesh wound.
