hey. i just woke up, and was like: i need some laughs in my life! so i decided to write this.

warning: full of crack. so much crack you might think the story is more scary than crackish. i hope.. inappropriate scary stuffies! look away!

disclaimer: don't own soul eater or any other thing mentioned in here that does not belong to me.

8SYMMETRY8: Death the Kidd

thompsongunz: Liz

demgiraffies: Patty

toocool: Soul

AWESOMENESS: Black Star

camelliabloom: Tsubaki

makadatmakachop: Maka

optional characters:

kilikr2: Kilik

kimster: Kim

jack-o-lantern: Jacqueline

o.x.f.o.r.d: Ox

UNIVERSITY: Harvar (ya know... like harvard university)

thunda/faiya: Pot of Thunder, or Pot of Fire, they share an account :D


Chapter 1: MakaxSoul, and Shinigami Undies

UNIVERSITY has signed in.

kimster has signed in.

kimster: dahell. harvar, stfu 4 now.

toocool has signed in.

makadatmakachop has signed in.

toocool: BAD MAKA.

makadatmakachop: SOUL I SWEAR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS INTO THE FREAKING LAUGHING MOON IF YOU EVEN SPIT OUT A FREAKING WORD OF WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.

toocool: so... what happened last night?

makadatmakachop: huh... i donno, does TAKING SHOTS and STUPID GAMES help you come to mind?

toocool: nope.

makadatmakachop: alright, let's just say... BLAIR?

toocool: oh yeah, we kissed.

makadatmakachop: YOU BETTER GET AWAY FROM THE SCREEN, 'CAUSE I'LL BE INTERNET-MAKA-CHOPPING YOU INTO THE NEXT CHATROOM WHERE YOU CAN DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH, AND I WILL HAVE TO HAUL YOUR FRIGGIN' BIG BUTT TO THE NEXT PLANET.

toocool: ooh, scary. LALALA MAKA AND I KISSED XDDD

thompsongunz has entered the chatroom.

thompsongunz: oh did you now, soul.

makadatmakachop: oh crappity crap crap. to spare myself the embaressment of facing liz, i will be exiting this conversation.

thompsongunz: and soul. XDDDDDD how was it, baby boy?

makadatmakachophas exited the conversation.

toocool: laaaaawl, we never kissed.

thompsongunz: OH PATTEEEEEEEEEEE, come here, baby sis! soul, yeah right.

toocool: oh no you didn't.

demgiraffies has signed in.

demgiraffies: what do u freakish people want. hmph. goodbaai, freakish people.

demgiraffies: HOLY SHIZZBALLS. I JUST SAW DA WORD 'KISSED' ON DA SCREEN. SHINIGAMI SHINIGAMI PANDAS AND SHINIGAMI UNDIES THAT LAWRD DEATH'S SON WEARS, LAWRD HELP ME AND SAVE ME FROM THIS FREAKISH EVIL, HOW IN THE WORLD DID

toocool: okay, nothing happened, shut ur trap patty if u know whats good for u

demgiraffies: THAT MAKA ALBARN GET HER LIPS IN A TWIST WITH DAT FREAKISH WHITEHAIRED BLOOP CALLED SOUL?

demgiraffies: oh! im quaking in dem asymmetrical shinigami undies that 8SYMMETRY8 wears! HAHAHA SOUL GIRAFFES ARE GOOD FOR ME

thompsongunz: holy shinigami, pattee, how did u know kiddo wore shinigami undies?

demgiraffies: i gave it to him 4 christmas. annd...

demgiraffies: they're boxers, btw, to make him feel more manly around us, sis.

toocool: tmi, tmi.

demgiraffies: its never too much information, soulie.

thompsongunz: XD

toocool: -_-

demgiraffes: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

8SYMMETRY8 has entered the chatroom.

8SYMMETRY8: i see patty's making comments about my manly shinigami undies.

thompsongunz: honestly, kidd, you know nothing about manliness.

8SYMMETRY8: WHAT?

demgiraffies: kidd will never get a girlfriend.

toocool: yeah, unlike me.

thompsongunz: yeah, kiddo, you should be more like soul. cool. stop freaking out. ya know, there ARE plenty of fangirls out there.

demgiraffies: yeah, we always hav 2 kick their asses out of dis astral plane 'cuz they all go KIDDOOOOOOOO and they hav dat freakish heart thingy in der eyes

toocool: that's the girl's jobs, kicking asses, isn't it.

thompsongunz: no wonder soul doesnt have a gf either:.

toocool: WHAT?

8SYMMETRY8: ikr, soul? patty and liz are such troublesome women!

toocool: i've heard that line before.

8SYMMETRY8: what line?

toocool: 'troublesome women'

8SYMMETRY8: lolwut

thompsongunz: KIDDO YOU MUTHAFFFFKA IMMA KICK YOU FREAKING ASS INTO THE NEXT ASTRAL PLANE 2 CUZ U FRICKIN DONT APPRECIATE UR BEAUTIFUL WONDAFUL AWESOMEFUL WOMANLY WEAPONS

8SYMMETRY8:womanly? let me think about that.

demgiraffies: ALRIGHT WE ARE GONNA IMPALE YOU ASYMMETRICALLY WITH NARWHAL HORNS

8SYMMETRY8: NO!

demgiraffies: YES!

8SYMMETRY8: asdfkhwlkerjoisdfu;akldjf NO

demgiraffes: bitch please.

toocool: i no longer feel sane in this convo, so i'm leaving.

thompsongunz: BEEEOTCHES YA KNOW PATTY LETS LOCK HIM OUT OF DA MANSION

demgiraffies: AHAHAHA YOU CAN GET IN NOW KIDDO YOU GON SLEEP OUT IN THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN

8SYMMETRY8: what rain?

demgiraffies: ITS RAINING, ITS POURING, ITS MAGICAL GIRAFFIES!

thompsongunz: patty, its bright and sunny outside.

8SYMMETRY8: *it's

demgiraffies: NOWHUN CARES, KIDDO

8SYMMETRY8: *no one- and patty, i care.

demgiraffies: MWAH! YOU'LL B SLEEPING OUTSIDE TANITE

8SYMMETRY8:*TONIGHT. HONESTLY, GET YOUR SPELLING RIGHT.

demgiraffies: mwah, liz?

demgiraffies: liz?

demgiraffies: HAHAHAHA SISTAH DIED

thompsongunz: did NOT, patty, stop making stuff up.

demgiraffies: i wanna go 2 da zoo!

thompsongunz: NO

8SYMMETRY8: NO

thompsongunz: NEVER, EVER, EVER. PATTY WE WILL NEVER GO TO THE ZOO AS LONG AS U LIVE.

demgiraffies: buuuuuuuuuuuuut LIZZEEEEEEEE

toocool has exited the conversation.

8SYMMETRY8:i think he was watching this whole thing unfold from his screen.

thompsongunz: stalker.

demgiraffies: c'mon, lizster. you know ur a stalker 2. remember dat 1 boy from 1 direction... whats his face. the dude with poofy hair. OH. YESH. HARRY.

demgiraffies: harry styyyyyyles.

8SYMMETRY8: who is this dude w/ poofy hair?

thompsongunz: um. harry styles. lol.

demgiraffies: you know you love him! you know you care! you'll shout whenever! he'll never hear! you want his love! you want his heart! you want to never ever ever be apaaaaaaar

demgiraffies: you kno you stalked him.

thompsongunz: that's a justin bieber song, patty.

8SYMMETRY8: justin BIEBER?

demgiraffes: liz like harry harry harry STYLES sis likes harry harry harry STYLES likes harry harry styleees something something something somethiiiiiing.

thompsongunz: i applaud ur performance, patty.

8SYMMETRY8: lmao, that was amazing.

8SYMMETRY8: hmm. do i even have a butt?

8SYMMETRY8: i wonder... do shinigamis have buttocks?

thompsongunz: like WE would know.

demgiraffies: oh alright, liz knows. she thinks your butt is cute.

8SYMMETRY8: WOT

demgiraffies: JKAAAAY.

thompsongunz: you. are. dead. patty. im. locking. you. out. too.

demgiraffies: im the one in the mansion.

8SYMMETRY8: touche.

demgiraffies: -bow bow bow bow bow wow wow wow-

thompsongunz: i thot u liked giraffes, not doggies.

demgiraffies: hahahaha, i hate giraffes.

8SYMMETRY8: I SWEAR BY MY SHINIGAMI UNDIES THAT I DID NOT EXPECT THAT.

demgiraffies: JKAAAAAAAAAAY.

thompsongunz: enuff w/ da shinigami undies, kidd. we all know how girlish they are.

demgiraffies: how would YOU know, lizzie?

thompsongunz: what?

8SYMMETRY8: ...

thompsongunz: what are we talking about?

demgiraffies: SIS. WE WERE TALKING 'BOUT KIDD'S MANLY UNDIES.

thompsongunz: oh where we?

8SYMMETRY8: ummmmm...

thompsongunz: LOOK! PATTY! OUTSIDE! A GIRAFFE!

demgiraffies: WHERE?

thompsongunz: OUTSIDE!

thompsongunz has signed off.

8SYMMETRY8: i guess it's just you and me, patty.

8SYMMETRY8: hello?

8SYMMETRY8: patty?

8SYMMETRY8: if she gets squished by a giraffe, then i'll have only one weapon!

8SYMMETRY8: and if i only have one weapon, i'll be asymmetrical!

8SYMMETRY8: PATTY! IM COMING TO SAVE YOU FROM DA FAT GIRAFFE!

8SYMMETRY8: nooooo... im too late.

8SYMMETRY8: too lazy to move from this chair.

8SYMMETRY8: too lazy to move.

8SYMMETRY8: too lazy to typeeee...

8SYMMETRY8:alright, patty! let's go facetime and play strip poker! liz and everybody else is gone!

demgiraffies: HAHAHA YES. I LOVE STRIP POKER.

8SYMMETRY8: cuz u always win. D:

demgiraffies: AHAHAHA i love those shinigami undies u wear XD

8SYMMETRY8: i love them too. ^^

demgiraffies: mwah, kiddo. :3

8SYMMETRY8: toodledoo, babypoo!

demgiraffies: DAFUQ DID U CALL ME?

8SYMMETRY8: babypoo. :P

demgiraffies: middle finger.

8SYMMETRY8: mmhmm. luv ya.

demgiraffies has signed off.

8SYMMETRY8 has signed off.

UNIVERSITY: now i feel like an alltime stalker.

UNIVERSITY: just hanging around, watching them argue.

UNIVERSITY: NANANANANA BLACK-MAAAIL!

kimster: excited much?

UNIVERSITY: AHAHAHAHA YESH MISSUS

kimster: that was a thoroughly interesting conversation they had there.

UNIVERSITY: team stalkers! high-fivee!

kimster: high-five!

kimster: remember, don't hit the screen!

UNIVERSITY: ah, too late. there's a gigantic crack across it now.

kimster: the things that we learn on the internet.

UNIVERSITY: kidd plays strip poker with patty over facetime, and that's how she knows he has shinigami undies. wow. and liz is clueeeless.

kimster: clueless, my ass.

kimster: can u believe it? they went from... soul and maka... to strip poker. amazing. a new record of randomness.

UNIVERSITY: i will report that bad word you have just said to my master, what's his face ox.

kimster: nvm, you're the only stalker here, harvar. namaste, bitch!

UNIVERSITY: wut?

kimster has signed off.

UNIVERSITY has exited the conversation.


wow, that was a lot. remember, this is confidential. you may not tell anyone that kidd and patty play strip poker! i can die from that!

*dodges those wavelengths that he fires*

this was completely random... *sigh* and for fun... *sigh* and its crack... *sigh* but you guys need crack to brighten your day... *sigh* :D

luvs ya!

this is DaNarwhal, swimming off into the sea!