Two Kinds of Lonely
~TheRealityOfFantasy
One world will kill her. The other doesn't want her. Aelita's thoughts before shutting down the supercomputer in season two.
I have no involvement with Code Lyoko (sadly)
What do you do when you have access to two different worlds and neither has a place for you?
Lyoko is a death trap. The only other life form is XANA, a computer virus hell-bent on sending me to a virtual grave. It couldn't possibly be "home." There's no air to breathe, food to eat, or people to mingle with. There are no smells; scents don't exist in a virtual universe. I should catch hypothermia in the ice sector and sweat buckets in the desert sector, but physical senses don't work. I sleep in a lonely tower instead of in a warm bed. I can't run down the street to a coffee shop and meet friends. There are no coffee shops, or any signs of civilization, really, and the only time I can see my friends are when they come here, but they're busy in battle so I can get to the tower. I talk to Jeremie every night, but that's usually about defeating XANA and having me permanently materialized. Can't we just talk about the weather or how his school day went? I want to cry because this world that I'm imprisoned in is lonely and usually deadly, but tears won't flow on Lyoko, so everything stays locked inside my heart with no way out.
Earth is a cheery place filled with laughter. Unfortunately, that laughter is usually at my expense. I'm a nerd, and everyone in school has made that a well known fact. I could replace the teacher in every class. I'm sorry; I didn't know that to fit in on this planet you had to have a brain the size of a dime.
Of course, I have my friends. Odd, Ulrich, Yumi. And Jeremie. Oh, Jeremie, I never would've woken up in Lyoko if you hadn't turned on the Supercomputer. Because of my four friends, I've learned so much: how to sneak past Jim after curfew. How to skateboard. How to live and how to love. But I've been kept from this world for far too long. There's no way I could ever fit in again. The lies that cover up my past are beginning to feel like my reality and I'm starting to lost track of who I am. Then again I guess I never really had the experience to figure that out in the first place.
Both of these worlds will never accept me. That's not the only issue, though. My very existence is putting everyone's lives at risk. The Supercomputer is not only keeping me alive but XANA as well. I have to put a stop to this. I can't be the reason that this wonderful planet is stripped of life. I'm not worth that; the people here deserve to live their lives, and I could be the one thing standing in their way of doing that.
I know my friends will never approve of what I am about to do; they would pull me back and talk to me about it until my ears bleed. Anyways, I couldn't face Jeremie and tell him something like that. He worked so hard to bring me here, which is why I feel so bad about this. I'll have to sneak out before anyone has any idea what I'm doing, and before they have the chance to stop me. Thanks, Odd, for teaching me how to slide down the gutter and climb fences. Without you I wouldn't be able to do this.
I wouldn't be able to shut down the Supercomputer.
