Carly was pissed off. Please don't misunderstand. The reason for her being pissed off wasn't her annoying bitch of an English teacher,Miss Oh-I'm-so fucking old and ugly and can't stand younger and much more beautiful girls-Agartha,and old witch who already should have been fired and who also was the person who gave Carly a B- for her homework. A freaking B-! Is that possible? Can one believe that? Anyway,it actually wasn't that that made her be filled so much with rage and shout at everyone who came near her in a radium of 2 meters. It wasn't just that.
Later,on the same day,Sam,that stupid,irresponsible idiot who sure as hell would already be a D-class hooker going on her knees for a damn bucket from KFC if Carly hadnt helped her out so many times,fucked up again. Instead of,you know,following her chemistry teacher's orders just for once and not putting that much sodium to her chemicals--of course,that egoistic bitch just did it,because she was told not to! The freaking classroom now was full of foam! But,since Carly, unfortunately,was her partner,and after Sam got onto her knees and begged Carly with fake tears to take responsibility since they wouldn't go as hard on her as they did on Sam and so on. Carly rather wanted to laugh and tell Sam to fuck off and act at least a little more like a grown-up and that she finally deserved this. But then,a feeling of guilt overwhelmed her mind--may it be cursed!--and,after she sighed loudly twice,facepalmed,let out a very angry groan--she 'confessed' to her teacher and the principal. Of course,everyone knew it wasn't her fault,but what to do about it? So instead,Carly now had to go to detention on a friday! On a freaking friday afternoon! In the meantime,Sam didn't even wait for her,but rather just skipped classes and went to buy some smoothies at T-boe's! With money she 'lent' from Carly's purse without latter's consent! After Carly'd found out,she just thought and asked why the gods hated her so much.
Anyways! Even after that, Carly still managed to calm down and try to act as friendly as possible somehow. But of course,it seemed not to be her day,as she 'catched' Brad,a guy she had been having a crush on for at least two months(!),with some random blonde cheerleader bimbo,who sure as hell was held back in classes--twice!
But naturally,she couldn't just angrily shout at Brad,since they,unfirtuantely or rather fortunately, weren't together. Yet this didn't really put her mood on a higher level in this game called 'Carly Shay's most fucked up day ever'.
So,to sum this whole disastrous day up with little to almost no words or phrases: Carly was pissed off. Like,really pissed off. It actually was a surprising miracle she didn't already spit fire. However,when she came home,after making Sam go to her own godforsaken home--she'd just told her their refrigerator was empty and Sam immediately changed directions--and after,now being more than freaking furious,telling Freddie who--fucking again!--tried to make a 'move' on her,that pathetic little annoying Mama's boy,to fuck off--wait,what? Sorry,sorry... it's just...this sentence is just too damn long and I can't really reconstruct it anymore...damn...okay,sooo...how about we just..ummm...go back to the story? Sounds cool? Well,okay then!
Before she could get out her key,a sudden thought hit her. Damn it! How could she have forgotten it?! Craly cursed herself because of her irresponsibility. She forgot to do the thing she had been doing for Godknowshowlong! The thing she always did after school and before coming home! It had never ever occured even once that she hadn't been there doing her special thing! Damnit! Carly sighed and groaned angrily. But then,she calmed down and tried to justify it. I mean,like,come on! As if she could never go back there,just because she forgot it once in so many years! It was just this one time,she was so much filled with rage that she'd forgotten it,it would never happen again. Also,she didn't really feel that much sad or disappointed with herself. She was finally back home! Where she finally could relax with her older Spencer.
Where she didn't have to give any damns about the cruel annoying world around her! She was angry! So,why not give said world a big old 'fuck you' à la Carly Shay? Just smash the door as loudly as possible to show you are a rebel who despises the system,gurl! Happiness came back to Carly and with that thought that,for today,at least,everything was over,she got her key out and opened the door.
Anyways,when she finally was home,she smashed it as loudly and with as much anger and frustration as possible. And leaned against the closed door,closed her eyes and peacefully slowly breathed in and out,in and out. It really had been an exhausting day! But thank goodness! It was over now! Well, that's what she tought,at least.
Because,when she finally opened her eyes to take a small,melancholic look at her awesome apartment to remember this whole depressing morning and afternoon was over,she immediately looked in the direction of the couch. There was laying,and she just had to rub her eyes very hard two times and literally forced her wide open mouth to close, Spencer.
What? Doesn't sound that interesting? Ok,then! Then how about this,suckers:Spencer was laying there--with his full clothes on!
What?! Still not surprised? Are you kidding me? Ok,ok,ok! The how about this: Spencer was laying there with his full clothes on--and taking a ver ydeep nap!
What?! Seriously?!?!? Seriously?!?!! Ok,ok,ok! Seems like you aren't the easy ones to surprise! Then how about this,bitches?: Spencer was laying there with his full clothes on and taking a very deep nap--but with his semi-erect,naked (duh!) di-, I mean,penis (language!) being out! And you could even recognise a little sperm on the tip! And Spencer also was sorrounded by lots and lots of slimy,wet tissues! And there also was a box of tissues in the little table between the TV and the couch! There weren't any tissues in it, anymore! And! And! I'm still not finished,as you can read! On the table,there also was Carly's laptop,being connected to the TV through a yellow cable! Honestly,the yellow cable wasn't that much important,but,hey--the more you know,amirite? Where was I? Oh,right. And on the laptop--she had to hold her mouth not to puke--Carly recognized the logo of Google Chrome. And the one of a famous porn site being famous because it was famous for famouyls producing famous incest pornos! Especially the one with older brothers having unprotectful harsh sex with their very young looking little sisters. And the worst of all: Spencer had visited that site without incognito mode on!!! Was he crazy? Carly almost fainted.
Spencer,somehow, didn't hear or see or took notice of anything,as he still was,as mentioned earlier,very deeply aslleep.
But,thank God and the Author--I mean,like,come on! If HE gets all the credit,at least don't forget those who actually get some shit done! Like a surgeon fighting for the life of a little girl on the operation table for 8 or more hourse! And in the end,the people only will notice his very existence when suing him,becauselittle Susie or Becky died! Please!--Anyways, surprisingly,Carly didn't faint. Yet she still had to use her whole strength to prevent her from doing so and to hold herself together. And still,she had to hyperventilate,her heart already beating 1000 times/s or so,somehow managed to go faster and slightly seemed to explode,her eyes began to get filled with water--teras of the betrayed one--,and she had to sit on a kitchen chair.
She somehow managed to walk into the kitchen,regardless of her weak legs she couldn't even feel,actually. They felt like pudding and she was afraid to fall. Yet,she still went to the kitchen,still hyperventilating,she was almost ready to puke. After a few seconds,or was it an eternity?,she calmed down a broken part of the infinity of a little,stood up,wnet to sink,grabbed a near-by glass,filled it with water from the sink,drank it with one shot, filled it again,drank it again,filled it again. But his time,she didn't drink it. She stared at it and recognised something. From the exact moment on she caught Spencer until now,when she jjsut stared at the full glas of water,her mind had been empty. She and it had been empty because of the shock. Not a single thought, whether logical or emotional,whether an angry or sad one,were able of being made. Thus,her thoughts melted,slowly started to fall apart and vanish from their very existence. And there was only emptiness left.
But now,as she looked at this damn glass filled with water; clear,beautiful,drinkable water,as if she had never seen or tasted or thought about one. Her eyes widened. No. This wasn't only water. It fucking wasn't. It just was not! She clearly saw someone. Something. A rabbit. And he wore a suit,like the one in 'Alice in Wonderland',a movie she had watched countless times back then with Whatshisname,when she was 10. Or was it 12? Or did she watch it alone or with Sam and Freddy? Maybe she just read the book. Does it matter? Does anything matter?
Now her mind could make out and let her see more things clearly. There was a huge garden. She was in that garden. Yes. Of course she was! How else could she felt and taste the cold,wet air? Could the grass under her naked,little feet be seriously not real? Even though it felt so real,felt so relaxing,felt so good?! Only a maniac would question that. Not to mention her dress,oh yes! The beautiful,little,white dress she wore and she played with,that innocent little dumb girl. Instead of lostening to her educated older sister who read her from her boring old books,she rather got out of her cage and followed the rabbit. But now. But now. Where was she? And who was 'she'? Alice or Carly? Did it matter?
The bunny was sooo cute! It had white, fantastically fluffy fur! It was actually even cuter than cute,with its big,black eyes hiding behing those funny,big glasses. And its suit was cute,too! But it was strange bunny. That bunny walked on 2 legs instead of 4! Hehe! What a cute,weird bunny! Oh,hey! Mister Bunny,what aare you doing? Please don't run away,pretty please! With extra cute superduper extra ice cream filled with chocalate-please! Bunny! Stop,mister bunny! Please don't leave me here. I don't know where mommy and daddy and my house is,my big, beautiful house! Please don't leave me here. Alone.
Hehehe! Mister bunny! Since when do you have a pocket watch,huh? Wow,cool, it's golden and shiny! Golden and shiny,golden and shiny,golden and S-H-I-N-Y!!! Please show me! Pleaaaasse! Mister rabbit?
What happpened? Alice run behind that little rabbit and chased it. Or at least she tried to,as that little fucker ran really fast on his two little paws. And Carly wasn't really the sporty type,even though she just loved the beautiful nature,unlike her boring,annoying,older sister. And now,suddenly,the same rabbit just disappeared. Poof! As if he never had been there. Alice just stopped running,stood there,coughing breathing heavily,holding her stomach that hurt a little. Her heart beating very fast and starting to slow down a little already. Then she just started to think. At first,she couldn't solve the riddle,complete the puzzle. But the more Carly thought about that strange sudden disappearence using her rational little mind,her very best friend,the more she could recall and remember having seen the bunny and how she could only,for a very little part amount of a mere second,still see the rabbit's head with its funny big black cylindrical hat.
Alice kept thinking. What if...what if the bunny was falling down? Maybe in a hole! Of course! Carly,cute, little, innocent,naïve Alice! Why didn't she think of it immediately? She just shook her silly little head,started to giggle a bit and walked nearer towards the spot that little bunny disappeared. And,surprise,surprise: there she saw it:a big,round,black hole! It looked deep. And dangerous! But Carly was more afraid of the air getting uncomfortably colder and the friendly big sun,that big mean betrayer(!),leaving her and the lustrous,shiny moon coming up slowly. It maybe was bright,but it looked too scary! Scary and untrustworthy! So Carly decided,sonce she alredy didn't know the way back home,she could go see how mister rabbit lived as well. But before she could look into the dark black hole to ask herself how deep it was to find out whether it would hurt if she climbed,or rather fell,into it,something inside,whether heart or mind,made her look up. And now she looked up very scaried!
It was...it was...it was Spencer! The big moon! It suddenly morphed,it changed. Instead of a big ball,it now was a face. And its holes changed into eyes. Worried looking eyes. Worried about what(?) should be the real question. Now the former moon had a nose! And hairs! And ears and lips and eyebrows and he opened his big betraying mouth,ready to lie to her again and...and...and...
Suddenly,Carly came back from her little adventure. Back to the living,one might say. But who was this 'one'? What's gis name and what does he or she do for a living? Has it family? Does it love it? Who cares?
So,Carly came back. On her shoulders his hands. Her ears heard his voice. Ger mind finally started to norify his very existence; something she cursed it in her heart for. Ironically,she still had that portal,or for more clarification,that glass of water in her hand. Her head hurt.
She didnt relly listen to him and his unimportant words. Just looked down. Godd. At least he put his fucking dick back in his pants!
Carly still wished she was deaf while hearing Spencer mumble things like he was incredibly sorry. That she wasn't meant to have seen this. Carly didnt care. She just wanted him to go away. Maybe she needed to,too. Maybe she needed a good,cold shower.
But before she even could put his hands away from his shoulders and get away from him,forget him and his very pathetic existence,something inside her made her do two things,as crazy as it may sound/be read.
The first thing was a voice in her head. A cute little middle schooler voice in her cute little middle schooler head. That voice was familiar,but she didn't waste any thought on that. Rather on what she told her. Asked her,actually. A soft whisper,only a little louder than the sound of a butterfly's wings,was heard. It asked Carly.
"What,oh dear little Carly,keeps you from doing it,hm? What keeps you from just doing it? Why deny what you always felt? Why act like you are shocked,even when you are the one who is supposed to let her heart guide her? Why let your stupid,logical mind with its stupid rules guide you? A mind: can it feel? Does it truly understand your pain? Your devotion? Your wanting? Your lust? Your love?!"
Yet,it wasn't over.Carly already fell,as if she was looking in the abyss. Into its very eyes. But also,she had the feeling she was climbing on a large mountain. And the apex,the highest point of said mountain,was lust.
But she saw more. And,at the same time,less. On the top of the mountain,there was a mirror,golden and majestic and having golden letters over it. The letters seemed to have been the hardest and greatest work regarding the mirror. They glimmed,making them even more special and magical as they already were. The letters formed together and became two people's names. And between them,a plus sign. Even though she wasn't able to read the names,she could think about them. She suddenly felt sick.
Poor child! Being denied what she had begotten the most for so long. Too long. The pain she must have endured! All that because of a mind,cruel and incapable of understanding a girl's desires. A mind,existing to punish her for forbidden feelings,what she craved for the most. A mind that had always told her what she felt was wrong. And what she thought about was the greatest of all sins.
The cruel monster of a mind! Banned were her thoughts and desires and feelings into her unconsciousness. Oh,ye gods! For what had ye punished the most innocent child of all? The most innocent feelings? The most innocent love? Cursed be thine!
Cary felt her head burning. Her mind seemed to likely explode. She got onto her knees and...and...she just wanted to cry. But before even having the chance to do so,she could hear the voice again. This time,it spoke a little louder. Being even more clearer and more beautiful.
The voice spoke to Carly. And simultaneously,the fog that covered Carly's eyes was gone. It had slowly disappeared. That fog had been there for too long. Its only purpose had been to keep her from finding out the truth. What truth?
The voice didn't ask her. She ordered her. She told her what to do,gave that confused little girl the direction way back home. So she could be happy again. Something she truly hadn't been for a long time. A painful time,to add.
"Go,Carly! Oh,dearest of all kind creatures! Go to the one you truly belong with! Do not return to the tyranny of rationality or reason! Those were the ones who made you unhappy and truly: your mind was the tyrant the whole time over! Having kept you,oh,you innocent little girl,who just sought for true love and found it in the same person she already loved,from committing any act of that love,from following the calls of your individual duty from your heart,from admitting to yourself what only the bbravest ones would admit! The tyrant now lies in the darkest of towers,surrounded by fire spitting dragons as his wardens! Chains made out of the tears of pain of yours shall hold him down! And indeed,these are the strongest of chains! Go,little girl! Chase after the rabbit,after the truth! Be one of the few of the so many innocent ones who just had followed their hearts! Yet they were punished,for their desires being called sick! Punishments for their feelings! Torture and death,because they dared to love! Wicked they were called,but truly: you who have hunt those love birds,those angels in disguise,those innocent ones! You shall be punished by the anger of love! Of true love,you,who tried to murder it! Go,Carly! Before you commit a much more greater sin! Go,little girl,go!"
And Carly understood. And she cursed her mind. She now just wanted to go back to the person she craved for and loved the most. The other half of her heart.
Then,Carly came back again into what we,as the mere little dust particles being nothing compared to the infinity of beauty of this indifferent universe,call reality. Then,the second crazy--or wasn't it crazy?--thing happened.
He always had a small gun he had bought from a nearby store under his pillow. One bullet. If it would happen,yet he'd never really thought it could happen. If the day she found out about his sickness,his dark,forbidden desires,should come,he would knew what to do. He had sworn himself he would do it. Occasionally. Always. One bullet. For him. For him who just threw little rocks towards the window,the beautiful window of a teenager's innocence.
The window of his cute,little,funny,witty,smart,intelligent, empathetic,friendly,sexy,brave,rebellious,polite,understanding,sympathic,respecting,patient,sacrificing,self-conscious,hot,beautiful,gorgeous,loving,caring,cute,little princess,his baby sister. Carly.
The only one for whom he really cared in this cruel world,where the things his heart whispered to him were called sick and the desires wanting to escape from the prison cells built and held up by his mind, the greatest of all tyrants--they were forbidden. She was the person whom he smiled for. For every other person,even his "girlfriends",he only smiled by force,to cover up the injuries of a dieing desire and a slowly braking heart. But she. But she just needed to sit there with him,just needed to be next him,just needed to be. And then,he was just filled with happiness. He loved the universe and thanked everyone for giving her,this goddess,to a boring goofy slack like him,and cursed everyone who would even think about daring take his princess away from him. Cursed might they be!
Spencer knew he felt more for his precious little sister Carly than a "normal" big brother should. She was the sun who had always given him her lights of hope,who guided him through the cold,lonely darkness of his inner depressions without even knowing about them. She made him laugh,talked with him about her problems. He always saw more in her than "just" his little sister.
He had admitted it to himself a long time ago. He had a crush on his little sister. Oh,boy!
But he lived on. Well,at least he tried to do so. He tried his best,he always thought. And he managed to keep himself an his thoughts and his perversions for himself without Carly ever noticing. So he found the advantages of internet oorn and visited forbidden websites with "brothers and sisters" having sex. It never even once made him forget her,but at least the monster was statisfied for an amount of time. If anyone ever had found out and had asked him whether he had ever tried making moves towards Carly or trying to molest her while she had slept,he would would have punched that asshole directly in the face! He loved his sister,yes. In a way society,in its true,cruel form, doesn't accept,that was clear. But the first thing that came to his mind when someone asked him anything ybout Carly,the first word he could think of was 'love'. The other ones? 'Protection','safety','family','help','comfort'.
He lived to help Carly in every way possible. To be a good role model,be a good big brother for her. But now...
Now he fucked up,no denying. While his mouth worked,spitting out senseless,meaningless shit to the traumatized confused face of an angel,or rather an innocent little girl,he started to think. He knew he had gone too far. He didn't deserve any second chance. The monster inside him,born by his sick perversions,bred through his desires,took control over him. Maybe it always had had. But before it could spread even more,before the monster could do worse things in his name,Spenver knew he had to kill that monster. He just had to. To protect himself from turning into what he always had protected Carly from,and,more important,to protect Carly from himself,he had to pull the trigger,end the terror reign of this beast that already took over his mind.
Yes,Carly would go worse, wouldn't she? Now,up to this point,if you,dear brave reader,made it until here,let me tell you: Yes,of course! You are right! Isn't that fucking exaggerated? Why kill yourself because your little sister caught you jerking to perverted porn?--Wait, does that mean there is also normal porn? Anyways.
It wouldn't make any freaking sense,would it? Maybe you think something like:"Come on,author,are you retarded? At least give some senseful reason for him to consider such a dangerous thing like suicide! Like, wouldn't that make Carly worse? The guilt of having 'driven' her older brother to suicide,because she didn't wanna bang him?! Lice,come on! He literally would destroy and traumatize her even more with that act of fuckedupness! You stupid,brah?!"
But,look, here's my excuse/justification: Nothing in this world makes sense. And nothing matters.
Especially in stories like these! 'Normal' brothers and sisters,if they ever face such a situation,would clearly not experience such psychpathic shit like that. They would both be shocked,the sister would be grosgrossed by her brother. But with a hogh proba- and possibility,she finally would forgive him. But point is: I feel a little crazy right now. I despise logic and your rationality,yet I need it to be. To know that I am feal and that this is reality
Isn't funny? Good excuse,right?
And to the other point: Yes, you're right,again. It would just make things worse,if Spencer killed himself! But...*author puts Morpheus sunglasses on*...what if I told you that Spencer never killed himself?
Why?
Because suddenly,when he wanted to put his hands away from her shoulders,just go,without saying anything,to his room to get the gun,the second strange thing regarding Carly,as mentioned earlier,happened.
You remember that beautiful glass of fresh,clear water from earlier? The fucke up one,you mean? Yes. Her tiny little hand made an incredible move.
She threw the fucking water towards Spencer's face. Just the water,no glassy glass.
It was refreshing. The water,of course. It was so...wet and felt like liquid stuff. It woke Spencer up from his dark impure thoughts. Even though it just hit his face,it also cleansed his very deepest sickness,it purified his mind and brain,made him what he was supposed to be again. His mind was flooded with positive,with real facts. His spiritual inner self was grateful for it. Now the monster inside was drowning and begged for help. Ha! Let that bastard die miserably,for he truly was not worthy of life!
Spencer's head hurt. It must have been eternities since he had felt this good. Or maybe he had never felt this good before. It had felt like an aspirin for his very soul. Now,his feelings didn't feel like in a cage anymore. Spreading their wings,they flew away. Even more higher and higher and higher,they enjoyed the cold,fresh air. Now they truly were their own gods.
How beautiful life can be,right?
Before Spencer could say or do anything,Carly fastly put her arms around him and hugged her older brother. He was surprisingly shocked. Why did she do this? Didn't he traumatize her? Oh,god! Please,oh Lord,please don't tell him he broke his very reason to live and made her go crazy,ease,Lord,please!
Yet he still didn't say anything and stood still. After a while,he dared it and carefully slowly also put his arms around her waist to her back and hugged his younger sister.
When comparing by beauty,neither Garden Eden nor Olympus were even half as beautiful,so fragile,yet so strong,so unbelievably impossibly beautiful,so lustrous,so bright,so promising,so loveable and admireable as the powerful stream of light that seemed to have been born by the unbreakable bond between two siblings,...no...two true lovers!
Bright light shined though all windows. All lights towards the two lovebirds who were still hugging each other.
Then,suddenly a few windows opened and the kitchen was flooded with shiny light and fresh,cold air. You could feel already that fall was starting. Like the leaves would leave their beloved trees and fall,so had just the tyrannical minds of the two. Now,their reign was over! Long live lust and love! Long live the bound between these two! Long live Sparly!
After what seemes to be an eternity,they stopped hugging. They didn't talk,because love is always without words. And maybe blind,but taht wasn't of any importance right now.
Spencer looked into Carly's eyes. If you had ased him,he sould have told you he had seen the beauty of the world and God in it. It even increased the infinite amount of love he had for her. He still couldn't believe it. Did she mean it serious? Now,with an expecting look,his eyes are towrads Carly's. Oh,what beautiful eyes a goddess could have!
Carly had never ever been so sure in her entire life. If she would do it,she would have crosse dthe line. Then there would be no return. She was more than ready.
After all those years! Now,she finally could admit to her feelings. Always. Always,she was told what she felt was wrong. She couldn't believe it. How could something so right feel so wrong? But the power of the tyrants,the dictators of love,was just too strong! Carly's emotions had been pressed into a little box and been stored in the room in the back of her unconsciousness. She started to forget,yes,even deny her feelings. She started to believe them,those traitors of Cupid!
She started to think her feelings were wrong.Poor blinded girl! Denied her own destiny,her true lover! But thank the gods and God himself--she chased after the rabbit,fell inti that hole.
And finally found back the way home. In the safe arms of her big brother,her chosen partner. Chosen by herself and her heart!
The two Shay-siblings looked each other in the eyes. They could recognize their future. A happy one! One where they would finally be free of the burden of lies and hypocrisy. Where the only rule wiuld be the one of Cupid. The rule of love. And maybe,maybe also--Carly slightly giggled about it,being the young schoolgirl she was--the rule or co-rule of Eros. Who knows?
Varly was happy. It was a moment in her young life she would never even dare to forget. In fact,the sheer release of all the tensions,the freedom of the tyranny of mind,the stream of fortune and destiny and desire flooded her brain. She jist had to,it was inevitable. She just needed to,noone could have stopped her. It wa sjust too much.
Tears ran down her face. But these tears contained the nightmares she always had,but made disappear with the help of Spencer,who always ran into her room when she asked for comfort and help. Now she wouldn't ever have them again anymore. The tears became more,but then,his soft,warm hand gently touched her face and wiped them away with his thumb.
His face came near.
But so did her.
Her lips were willing and sought for their equals.
But so were his.
Near and nearer.
In the background, the beautiful melody of the most powerful of all angels began to play. They snag with the highest amount of pleasure they could possibly achieve.
In these few seconds,in these few moments of love,where two decisions by two people,two siblings,two lovers,was made,every man in this world felt,as if a gleam of happiness shined through and inside of him. For these mere moments,men and women,everywhere around the globe,felt complete, felt,as if their lives themselves were nothing less than a mixture of the relationships they had. With their parents,their employers,their brothers and sisters. Their children. Their fellow humans. The people they loved. They felt satisfied. Their problems were nothing and their goals achievable. They laughed with tears,some of them had never felt like this before. In this very moment,everyone was just happy.
And thus,in a normal apartment in Seattle,in a normal kitchen,an unnormal, but strong,unbreakable, inevitable, bound and contract between two siblings,chosen ones of love,made. A promise. That they would never leave the other. For ever.
And taht contract was ratified and sealed through a long, simple,little kiss.
And even the Heaven smiled.
Everything was good!
