Yes, we're back with another RPG! Written by the very talented boardies at the Terry Pratchett Message Boards on (the format of the board has changed drastically since this was written, thus all the threads from the old board were deleted, so unfortunately this is the only place you can view the RPG, 'cause I was quick enough to save it all to my computer) Also, because we lost some players and interest throughout the RPG, it is not completed, but what we do have is still pretty entertaining, enjoy!

The players are as follows:

Dave & Samson – Sgt. Knocker

Scarlett & Lilah – Adie

Feegles – Mac

Nobby (Owned by Terry Pratchett, not us, so please to not be suing us, thank you) – Thumpy

Orcakeline - Orcakeline

Abda Demas Ephah – Max aka helicopterpassoverhead

Alice Allpire – MrsWizzard (Me)

Jeannie – Jeannie

Togo & Merrylan – Tad

Anyone I missed, it's because you either weren't playing long enough or I forget who you played

Crazy Dave woke up, stareing at the floor. He was hanging from the ceiling...again. How had this happened? oh. right someone had called him by his real name. Heh, nobody uses Crazy Daves real name without walking away with at least a concussion. The bartender suddenly appeared in his vision, His face tiltid up to look into Daves face.

"well Tif- ummm.. Dave. its mornining. want me to cut you down?"

Dave twisted, trying to get out on his own but failed. He hated asking for help. But there was no way for him to get down on his own.

"Ya, Rob, Go ahead."

There was a few complicated moments, then Daves Lanky form fell to the floor. When you first met Dave, the first impression you got of him was...lanky. Tall and quite skinny. But when someone called him by his real name, your impression became one of 'quick', 'Agile', 'Strong' and even one time he had been called 'whirling death ball of arms, elbows, legs, feet, knees, hands, and teeth'.

Dave stood up and dusted himself off. Well just another day at the docks in wonderful Ankh-Morpork. As Dave left the bar the Bartender, Rob, waved good-bye, and shouted

"Good luck at the docks today Tiffany- oh dear"

Dave stopped cold and slowly turned around. Rob started sweating and the color had drained from his face.

"umm..ummm...free bear all night to night?"

Dave seemed to think about it, then nodded his head slowly. Once. Then walked toward the docks for another day of work.

Mud wrestling was a bad idea

Scarlett was down on the floor, trying to clear up the mess left over from the nights entertainment. She hadnt even been able to clean herself up yet. It had seemed like a good idea at the time - the chance of seeing almost naked women wrestling in mud had drawn a huge crowd to her pub, so much so that she'd been forced to employ several trolls to turn away punters at the door, and the bar had made a killing, but she couldnt believe the damage it had done to the floor.

So many regulars had tried to convince her to join in, and she'd declined, but in the end, Scarlett hadnt had a choice. The winner of the night had dragged her in, which is why she was now cleaning the floor while covered in mud herself, but it had been fun.

maybe i will have another night

She went to run her fingers though her firey red hair, but the dried mud throughout it prevented that from happening. She sighed.

"Best night we've had in ages" Liam, the barman said to her as he came inside to fill up yet another bucket with mud.

"Yeh, it was. Next time we'll be better prepared though. The muds ruined the carpet. Well ok, it was ruined to begin with, but beers easier to hide. I didnt realise it would go everywhere..."

"True that. By the way, Red, have you seen yourself? You're a mess!"

Scarlett threw a handfull of mud at him. "I know it was you who pushed me in. Cause i did prove to be stronger than Staci" it was the truth. Scarlett had won that one, even if it was only for fun.

"you should compete next time."

"Maybe. Now hurry up, the quicker this is done, the sooner you get paid and i get to shower."

Liam grinned, and carted the buckets out.

Somewhere in the mountains of Copperhead, a young feegle sat a very old, and large gold shield. She was bruised and had a black eye, due to a large fight, with the Kelda and the Big Man over Iona and well feegles can't resist a good fight.

"But the wee lass wants tae leave the clan" said the Big Man

"She isn't ready, she ken nothing' of being a Kelda" explained the Kelda

"I but if I recall neither did ye"

There was then silence expect for the tapping of the foot, all around them where the whispers "oh waily, waily not the tappin' o' the foots, and thepursin' o' the lips and now the folding of the arms"

It would have ended there and then if Iona had of stayed quiet,

she yelled " I dinnae want to stay here no one listens tae me, no one cares what I have tae say, and I am treated with fear as I reading the books!"

Then it all started with a yell

AH, Crivens!

Iona sat and waited for her fate it was her fault after all.

Nobby oozed.

It wasn't that there was something wrong with him, it was just what he did naturally.

Look at any person walking down the street and you'll see the moving of the arms, the picking up and putting down of feet, the head moving from side to side taking in the environment.

Nobby didn't do that. He simply occupied a space, then occupied the next and the next, like a trickle of water running down the walkway.

Nobby was, or is, a Corporal in the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Someone hearing that for the first time might be forgiven for immediately asking, "Well, who's watching 'im?" it wasn't that he was a thief...or a 'dirty' officer, but Nobby would more or less liberate items from what he considered oppressive owners.

This had been a good night for Nobby. He still had half the fish that Verity had beaned him with earlier and some sausage from the oppressive butcher over near the Brass Bridge. He may be able to rescue a loaf or three from the baker on his way...

He was almost going to call it a night and go back to the Watch House when he stopped in front of the pub to see Liam hauling out buckets of mud.

"'ere, whachoo doin' with those buckets? The river eat through your foundations again?"

As Liam explained to him how the mud came to be insidethe pub, the wheels in the mind of Nobby Nobbs began to spin with an almost audible hum.

"No-o-o! They never! Do they? Really?"

As a Watchman and as a concerned citizen of the city, there was only one response to this new information that Nobby could give.

"When do you open?"

Dave, and his workbuddy Jim (another person he was jealous of for haveing a manly name), grabbed grabbed another crate and began hauling it to the shore.

"Youd never belive what i saw last night" Jim said

Dave just shrugged.

"This bar i went to, cant remember the name, had nearly naked women, good looking half naked women. it was amazing."

Dave didnt even pause. just seeing women reminded him of his name. (as you can tell this problem had dominated his life).

After putting the crate on a cart, the pair turned around in time to see the extremly well armed bounty hunter step off the ship and onto dry land. Dave instantly recognized him. everybody near him who saw him recognized him. Samson. The zombie bounty hunter.

Jim leaned toward Dave and wishpered
"Isnt he supposed to be in Fourecks?"

Dave shrugged again. Samson noticed the two dockhands and motioned toward them.

"You two. Grab that crate. Load it on that cart" Samson pointed at the mentioned cart.

As they carried the cart, Dave could have sworn he heard something, or someone, breathing in it. He just shrugged it off as his imagination. While they shouldered the crate onto the cart Dave overheard Samson talking to a very shady looking character.

"Be carful. Obviously Jeannie is still here. And Lilah might still be here."

Samson nodded once then got up on the cart and urged the horses on.

As Jim and Dave watched him leave, Jim turned to Dave.

"i hear that bar is going to possibly do that mud wreastling again. Wanna go."

Dave thought about it. then nodded. he could call up that free beer on Rob later.

Lilah was at the dock, and spotted Samson almost immediatly. It had been ages since she'd last seen him, and his only change seemed to be that he'd gotten greyer...

Lilah watched Samson leave, realising she hadnt been spotted. Even if she had, it was doubtful he'd recognise her - she tended to head out in disguise these days, as too many people recognised her. She straightened the blonde wig on her head, then stepped out into the sunlight.

"Oi! You two." She approached the two men who'd moved the crate for Samson. Any clue what was in that crate?"

They seemed hesitant to tell her.

"If you tell me i'll give you money. If you dont, i'll hit you until you do tell me. So what'll it be boys...?"

Finally, everything was clean. The floor was mud free, Scarletss hair was mud free, and she'd finally had a chance to balance the till.

LIam came back in.

"Much better look there boss, though the mud was a good look too."

"har har." She handed him an envelope, which contained his pay.

"I had a few people ask me about the mud wrestiling while i was outside." Liam commeted, checking his pay. "They all want it to happen again. Want to know what time we open tonight."

Scarlett paused for a moment, thinking about it. "They want us to do it all again tonight? This wasnt going to be a nightly event!"

"Could be a riot if we dont though."

"who asked. Anyone i know?"

Liam mumbled something under his breath.

"I dont think i caught that one. In fact, i definatly misheard, because you did not just say Nobby Nobbs." The look on Liams face suggested otherwise. Scarlett sighed. "ok. But im going to need help so you cant knock off."

"I need sleep"

"I'll pay you double. Go to the printers, get a few posters made up that say that this is a once a month attraction. I'll also need you to go hire a few more girls, and a few more bartenders."

"But only the two of us fit behind the bar..." Liam seemed conffused.

"I know." Scarlett glanced up at the mezzanine level. Her father had closed it down ,eyars ago ever since... "i'm goin to open up the mez, and the bar up there. The small balcony can be made into the VIP area - no one is to go in there except for nobby, and thats only cause i want him away from my customers. Oh and find those trolls - they did good last night."

She counted some more money out of the till. "I'd like receipts too please. While you do that i'll go get another delivery of mud, and alcohol."

A dwarf was rubbing her eyes at eight a.m. in the was a she dwarf,so she turned around and saw the sun rise like an electric was completely slipped out of bed and into her boots.

This particular dwarf,called Orcakeline washed ,dressed and went to the kitchen.

Here ,there were birds waiting to be fed by the took her pan and cooked up some fried eggs with a sort of red sauce and looked at the so called clock.

Oh my!It was late,at nine she was supposed to get to the Watch.

She grabbed her fork and in five minutes finished her birds got the crumbs and Orcakeline fled out the doors,knocking the third vase this broke,that was it's Fate,like the others.

She was on the way to the Watch when she bumped into a dog,knocking herself off this time.

Another long clumsy day...she thought.

Seeing people entering the Watch,Orcakeline started running until she reached the Vimes was watching her with a highly superior look.

Yew...frightening!This surely is going to be a looong day!Orcakeline thought.

She stepped in and waited in her called in normal Ankh-Morporkian terms "office" for someone to burst in saying they wanted that or that,that something like that happened again last week and so on and so fourth.

Alice sat in the awkward silence that flooded the room, twiddling her thumbs, just wanting this interview to be over, while commander Vimes read through her papers

"Right," he said, finally, "so, just one more question, miss Allpire, how old are you?" Alice looked down to her crossed feet, and brushed her midnight black bangs out of her big silvery eyes, this was going to be the hard part

"seventeen," she mumbled

"Right," said commander Vimes, scribbling it down on her application, "one hundred snd seventeen"

"No, sir," Alice said, automatically, "just seventeen" the commander looked up and gave her a long and uncomfortable look, as Alice suddenly became intensly interested with her boots

"Only seventeen?" he repeated, "by Gods, they're turning you people up younger and younger these days" Alice winced, slightly offended at him reffering to her race as 'one of you people' but not having the confidence to point it out to him

"Well, I am not too fond of it," Vimes went on, "but it looks like we have got another one of you people in the watch, you have your uniform, and here is your sword and your badge, treat them like they are a part of you, and welcome aboard"

"Thank you, sir," Alice mumbled, standing up

"One more thing, though," Vimes said, "you are young, and as I recall, fairly new to this city, so I might put out a more experienced officer to look over you until I am convinced that you can make it on your own, you are dismissed, constable"

"Yes, sir," Alice said, nodding, and the young vampire girl turned and walked out of the office

as she placed on her new officer's helmet, well, new to her, at least, it immediately slipped down and over her eyes

"What the," she said, but it was too late to do anything, as she had missed the first step, and was sent tumbling down the watch house stairs, where she landed on the bottom floor, half concious, and her ears ringing, and echoeing off of the inside of her helmet, which was still stuck over her eyes

Burtha was big, not just tall or fat but big all over. She towered over everyone she knew. Her shoes had to be specially made and for that matter so did her clothes.
She had taken to drying her laundry indoors as local children would steel her skirts and make tents. It was something that had always been a burden to her, romance was not easy although that hadn't stopped her trying.
She did have a meaningfull time with a lovely dwarf who showed her a really good time and treated her well but he didnt want to settle down so they had parted with the agreement to remain friends.
This had caused much amusement amoung the locals and after that she was no longer Burtha but "Big Burtha".
Burtha worked in the confectioners and tempered the chocolate. This was not an easy job and required great strength and stamina, this was no problem for Burtha and as big as she was she could make the most delicate chocolate on the Disc.
Burtha looked in her mirror and combed her hair and then platted it in two long platts which hung down her back. She looked at the time almost time to go to work. She brushed down her clothes and put on her shoes and left for work remembering to duck her head on the way out.
As she walked down the street she could hear the children that hung around her street "Boom, Bada, Boom" they chanted pretending that she shook the ground. She turned around and they scattered, she smiled and carried on towards the shop, she could already smell the chocolate and she was still a street away...

Nobby walked into the Watch House and saw a crumpled figure at the base of the stairs.

Nudging the form with his foot, he offered assistance as only he could.

"May I suggest, as someone with experience in these matters, that you might not want to cover your eyes with the helmet as you walk down the stairs. I knows these things - really."

Confident that he had done his good deed for the day, Nobby continued to over to the lockers and emptied his pockets. It was amazing what he could carry inside his uniform - or on it for that matter. When he ran out of pocket room, he simply stuck various items onto his clothing; how it actually stayed on was a topic of much discussion in the Watch.

Walking now to the office, Nobby greeted Orcakeline; with her seated behind the desk, he actually had to look up to speak with the dwarf.

"Mornin' there Orcakleine. What's new with you, eh?" But before he could get an answer, Nobby continued on, "Did you know, and I don't mean to suggest anything here, but did you know that there are wimmin in this city that wrestle each other covered in mud?"

Stopping only briefly to wipe a bit of a puddle that had begun to form under him, Nobby added, "And people get to go and watch! It's a form of entertainment. Probably culture even."

Iona was called into the other room, where the Kelda sat on the bed with a small bottle in her hand, Iona recognised at once, all female feegles do, it was the give of memory.
The Kelda beckoned her over.

"I ken I cannae stop ye , I ken it was time but I dinnae ken if ye were ready, I have decide ye 'r "

Iona just stared she knew where this was going

"I has sent Yen the aviator, tae send word, and one has been found" the Kelda continued

"Oh where?" her hope rising

"A place called Ankh-Morpork"

"WHAT?"

"We have not heard for them in for a long time, but they need a kelda and no other clans have an old enough female"
"Ankh-Morpork is about 500 miles a few days by air I'm told, but a week on foot, you must now choose your brothers who will protect ye and off ye go"

"Oh" Iona couldn't think of anything else to say

"My child her is my gift from me and all the Keldas, use it well I believe ye will need it"

"Thank you mother" Iona took the bottle left

as she left under her voice the Kelda sighed and said I hope ye are ready as it willnae be easy, ye will have tae dree your weird

Iona went in to big cavern, and naturally all the feegles were there all blue of all ages.
She looked around and spoke slowly so all could understand
"A clan has been found I need for brothers tae help me on my journey"

Every hand shot up

"I will take Wee Archie, the trainee Gonnagle, Big Dalziel, Angus and Bobby the trainee aviator, we will leave tomorrow at sunrise"

She turn and left holding back the tears an new Kelda could not cry.

Dave and Jim were hesitant to tell the women what was in there because...well they didnt know. At the mention of money Jim beamed. Dave could tell he was about to make something up, so Dave elbowed Jim in the ribs, shrugged and turned back to the ship to continue unloading it. He heard Jim say,

"The guy didnt tell us and it was solid wood, something you really cant see through."

Dave got on one side of another crate and waited for Jim to get on the other. Just another day of boring work.

Samson Pulled the cart up next to the back door of a warehouse. He hauled the crate into the building and set it down. A voice floated out of the shadows.

"You're late."

"Storm slowed us down, but i got here. It should be alive. Wheres my payment?"

A figuere, Bound and gaged, was thrown at his feet. A wizarding hat followed. Without another word he picked up the person, who was struggling, and headed out the door. He picked up speed when he heard the crate being opened. Tossing the person into the back of the cart, He got on and urged the horses into a gallop. As he sped away he heard snarling and screams.

in her daze, Alice felt somebody nudging her, and just barely heard the advice that was offered

"'ugger 'ff" she mumbled, but could barely get the words out

rolling over, she somehow managed to get herself into a kneeling position, and eventually got herself up and back onto her feet, wrenching her helmet off of her sore head, and letting it fall to the floor, where it spun to a rattling halt

looking around, Alice noticed a few of the male officers present, giving her some looks, that suggested that they were trying very hard to stifle their laughter

trying not to make a fool of herself, Alice grimaced at them, and, sticking her nose up, took a dignified pose, and confidently took a few steps forward, before stepping on the end of her helmet in such a way that it flew up, hit her in the head, cutting it slightly, and knocking her back to the floor, but this time fully unconcious

"Ha?" Orcakeline shrugged.

"Women mud wrestling?That's horrible!And people watching as if they'd enjoy it and considering it's culture?

"Oh Merciful Great God of Mud-wrestlings!" *twinkletwinkletwinkle* "Nobby,that's terrible!Women should be graceful and ...and...clean!OK,I still aprove of smoking,drinking and being drunk" fixing her stare on Nobby she blinked twice "but women mud-wrestling is just..silly!So as not to say grouce!

"Er...does that mean we're going ter watch?"

Orcakeline never was a mud-wrestling fan,but it always sounded completely pointless and fun to watch,after all,was she not part of the Watch?

The dwarf was somehow sick of talking to young men who lost their keys and love-letters their parents weren't supposed to read so she settled with the idea of doing very crazy things in the past her last adventure,she hadn't had any spice of life!Her only friend,the other Watchman colleague-friend she had just went on a secret mission two months ago and stopped sending any informing letters letting her know when he'll be now Orcakeline was running off her track:arriving late at work,not finishing her breakfast,leaving a mess in the kitchen,returning home with an empty bottle (of course not emptied by her!Just from a person she helped!On the street of course!).

Since she missed that part of life when she had a while,wondering what's to happen next,Orcakeline asked Nobby:

"So,where did you say the mud-wrestling is taking place?" The dwarf grinned and stood up.

As Burtha reached Wienrich and Boettcher's staff entrance she could see her fellow workers clocking in.

This was a new device the owners had fitted, it consisted of a box with an imp in who made holes in a piece of card.

At the end of the week the imp produced something it called a time sheet which showed how much each person had earned.

Burtha wasnt impressed she still got the same money it was just another strange idea from her foreign employers!

Then she saw Jenny and waved. Jenny was her friend.
It was a bit of a strange friendship really, Jenny was only just over five foot tall, extremley slender and delicate.
In fact Jenny resembled the pictures in a childs story book of what a fairy princess should look like, from her bright blue eyes and wavy blonde hair even the way she moved seemed more of a gracefull dance than just walking.

"Morning Jenny" boomed Burtha smiling.

"Good morning Burtha. Have you heard about the new craze? All the boys have been talking about it! Ladies mud wrestling!" Jenny replied excitedly

"No! Why would they want to do that,its not lady like"

"Well apparently the boys think it's really good, all I can see is an increase in sales!"

"Why would mud wrestling ladies mean we sell more chocolate?"

"Well Burtha that bit i do understand, there's going to be a lot of wives and girlfriends that are going to need soothing when they find out what their men have been upto and there is always the ones that want to impress the mud wrestlers!"

At this point they entered the buliding and went their seperate ways. Jenny worked in the shop, this was a prestigous post as W&B was no ordinary chocolate shop but the highest level chocolate could reach.

Ankh Morpork had tryed to resist the pull of this taste of heaven on earth, but once tryed it could not be resisted.

The prices were extreme to say the least but these were the ultimate way to say you cared. In fact there were some boxes that cost more than the average engagement ring.

Jenny walked to the counter and assumed her post, she worried about Burtha it was like being friends with a human troll!

Well it looked like she was in for a busy time, lets just hope that no one found out where she had been last night.

Nobby looked at Orcakeline with amazement.

"You'd wanta go? I mean, to the pub? To watch?"

Dunno, could be alright. Could put it down as a training whatchamacallit.

"Alrigh' then, meet me here tonight and we'll get in first thing before the crowds show up. Don't wanna be left outside listenin'."

Nobby pulled a hanky from some unseen pocket and blew his nose, causing several of the Watchmen to immediately cringe.

Waving bye to Orcakeline, he stepped over the form of Alice and stopped only long enough to nudge her again with his boot.

"I wouldn't let Fred see ya layin' down on the job on yor first day! He's got all sorts of strange notions about...'Ere, yor not even listenin' are ya? Dunno why I bother really."

Nobby walked down the hall and disappeared into one of the doorways. If asked, not a soul on the Watch could say what he did with his spare time, or where he did it.

Lilah was a bit dissapointed with what the dock workers had told her, but it seemed to be the truth, so she handed over a fiver and left.

damnmit!

Scarlett had got all the deliveries organised, and was now getting a dismantleable pool on a stage built up, which should save the carpet. It was made of wood,then padded and lined with rubber. Carting the mud out would still take time, but she wouldnt be scrubbing it off the carpet so all was good.

"Woah." Liam had wandered back in. "Nice!"

Scarlett grinned. "this should be better. Everything organised?"

"Yep. They should all be here soon. Got you some lunch, too."

Scarlett blushed on the inside. "Cheers. best you go have a nap or something, i get the feeling its going to be a long night."

When Alice finally regained conciousness, she was propped up in a chair in the watch house

the first thing she saw, when she opened her eys, was about one of the mos disfigured faces that she had ever seen, with buggy eyes, and a mishapen nose, and she could almost guarentee that one of his ears was bigger than the other

"Oh," she said, "hello, Igor"

"Hello, mith," he said, smiling, litterally, crookedly, "normally, thomeone would be a bit more thocked when waking up to thee my fathe"

"Sorry," Alice said, "my family had an Igor, rather nice guy, promise I will act more surprised next time"

"Thank you, mith, that would be very kind of you," said the constable Igor, "thith Igor you family had, what did he look like?"

"Oh, he was the one with the weird eyes, and the nose, and I believe he had an extra thumb on one hand, and he also had this terrible limp"

"Did he have a lot of thitches?"

"Actually, he did" this only seemed to brighten the Igor's crooked smile

"That hath to be my couthin, Igor, then," he said, cheerfully, "I have not theen him in ages"

"Well, he seems to be doing just fine," said Alice, brightly, suddenly, she remembered what had happened, and she immediately had a huge headache, reaching for her head, she felt the bandages that Igor must have put on the cut on her head

"Your head should be fine within an hour, mith," said Igor, noticing this, "you should be able to take the bandages off, then, though"

"Thank you, Igor," said Alice, standing up, and carefully putting her helmet on, so as to cover up the bandages, and with that, she awkwardly made her way for the door of the watch house, of course, nearly tripping with every other step that she took

Jenny stood at the counter and dreamed about the night before.

She had found it so easy, well she had learnt from the best.

It seemed as if the news haddnt hit the papers yet, but it was only a matter of time.

A customer entered and asked for a box of truffles, he paid and left but he had left his news paper.

Jenny's heart skipped a beat she turned over the paper and read the headlines.

"GIRLS GET DOWN AND DIRTY - see pages 2,3, and 4 for details."

So the mud wrestling had distracted everyones attention she breated out and relaxed.
I wonder what they will say when they find out it was missing?

Oh well maybe she could do it again, having a secret was so exciting.

Abda Demas Ephah raised his hat respectfully towards the ships captain as he walked off the plank. He had heard that such is the custom, here in for'n parts. Here, in Ankh-Morpork.
The first impression was not such a pleasant one as he had been led to expect, he had to admit, but who was he to judge by apparances and doubt the gods.
Surely many wonders would await him on the journey ahead, but, for now, he had to figure out a way of keeping his robes from being dragged around through the mud and ... stuff,which covered the ground in this queer city. Oh, the walls also. And some of the people too, if you looked close enough.
He spotted a looming complex of towers some way away. A perfect start for his journey, then.
He had just tied his robes in a complex manner around his waist and was rady to set off, when a heavy hand fell on his shoulder, causing him jump up.
''nd the pay?' asked the captain.
Abda looked at him and blinked oddly and pointed at his turban. The captain shrugged. It was obvious that Demas wasn't in Klatch anymore, if not even his position as Royal Arhitect would be recognised. And regarding the pay...
He eyed his surrounding quickly, looking for a gap in the overwhelming crowd.

oh no its in the paper

Scarlett was in shock. She'd never expected that one night of mud wrestling would have so much of an impact.

"This is turning into a nightmare..." she moane to no one in particular, as Liam was snoring by the fire.

It had seemed such a good idea at the time. Scarlett had been searching for a way to draw a bit of a crowd and entertain her regulars, as there were too many pubs out there like hers for her to be able for it to survive on its own for long. IT was also less messy than inviting certain celebrities to drink there. But now it felt like she was losing control of the situation.

Scarlett poure herself a drink, savouring the silence of the bar. She'd grown up in this pub, and had her family still been around they wouldnt have been happy about what she was doing. Well, her dad would, except for the part where she was opening up the balconies.

"You look worried." Liam pulled up a barstool and sat next to her. He then saw the articles in the paper. "Oh."

"Yer. Best we re-open the beer garden too. And get more security."

Liam nodded. "This is getting expensive. We shoul charge people to watch"

A lightbulb went 'ding' over Scarletts head, and in her mind it started raining money.

"Charge people an entry fee? Brilliant! Never thought of doing that."

The bell at the back door rang, announcing a delivery. Scarlett hoped it was the alcohol man, as she was going to need to place another order.

The trip to Ankh- Morpork had been surprisingly uneventful, and the feegles were bored as they had been no sheep or cows to steal, and they could only fight cabbages.

Iona had been by the gates, as the cabbages don't give any sign that you are near the largest city on the disc. They made there way to the graveyard where the clan was meant to be located there. Iona wasn't sure what happened as they entered no one saw them, humans never did they never look, but the feegles managed to cause a pile up of carts and had head butted quite a few ox and humans, they were much happier now.

Iona found the small mound easily it was near a large tree, she entered she was full of fear not knowing what to expect. She was pleasantly surprised, obviously he clan had, had a look out and all the adult feegles had flattened there hair and cleaned there kilts where all standing straight when she walked in, she had never seen anything like it. After standing for a few minutes waiting for her brothers to arrive from they fight an old feegle came forward. He had white hair, and was carrying a worn looking mousepipes.

"Welcome, I am Argyll, the Gonnagle, and ye must be oor new Kelda"
"Yes I am. I'm Iona, mmm… my brothers should be here soon"
"Ah, ok well as ye ken ye must choose a husband and state a date, I believe some of my nephews have even ha' a bath" after seeing the river Ankh Iona didn't want to think about it
" Ok" she moved forward to examine the feegle closer, she knew it was pointless asking for the best fighter as all the feegles would say they were.

As she moved along the line her brothers arrived looking very pleased with them selves. Argyll moved over to Wee Archie and they moved away. She asked two of the best looking or as good as a feegle could look their names and to state their best fight, then she choose

"I have made my chose, I will marry Cathal" this seemed to met general approval "it will take place in a week"
Argyll arrived back and bowed, "well done your Gonnagle is very good if he just improves his wail he will be one of the best, now may I request I be allowed to leave to my old clan all of my brothers and now my sister are dead I would like to spend my final days with my old clan."
"Of course, thank ye" she turned to face her brothers and some how Bobby had got hold of a bird, oh god I'll deal with it later. For now there was a wedding to organise.

Nobby ate his sandwich, having discarded the fish to the cats.

Being in the Watch had always been a goof thing for Nobby; there wasn't much work - at least for him - and he got to meet people. The fringe benefits were good as well; the odd plate of food, the pint, a bit of thrown fish or leg of lamb, carelessly left unattended by the butcher.

He enjoyed getting out and meeting people, especially the new arrivals from all thos for'n parts; they needed looking after and for a small fee, Nobby would look after them all right.

He had to get some rest today though; tonight he was going to the pub to get some culture. He was going to see the...

He was going with Orcakeline.

Uh-oh. Nobby seriously hoped that Verity wouldn't find out. She could be very cross sometimes...

Dave and Jim loaded the last crate on a cart. Dave stretched. He looked over at Jim.

"wanna go get a bite to eat before going top the bar?"

Jim nodded. They both clocked out and walked toward their favorite eatery. Dave was thinking about that Women who had asked them about that crate.

As they sat down a big burly man knocked Jim out of the way and sat across from Dave.

"So... i hear that they call you Crazy Dave...Right...Tiffany."

Dave sighed. He wasnt even at the bar yet and he was about to get in his first brawl.

Abda Demas Ephah halted only when he stumbled over an abandoned trash can. It was only when he stood up that he noticed that he wasn't being followed any more.
Adjusting his turban, he followed the continuous muffled sounds of the city. As he stepped out into a main street, he started to observe the scenery around him for the first time. It was a ... strange city. Nobody really seemed to care, nothing really seemed to be under control and the town seemed to work only due to a general consensus that this style of living only worked because it was slightly more comfortable than having everyone thump everyone else on the head in one big brawl.
After strolling down a few streets (carefully avoiding those dreadful large moving rocks he had been told about and forcing himself to ignore the sign 'Ye Klatchians Headde' and accept it as an amusing joke) he finally saw someone he could classiffy as trustworthy (someone who smiled).
Abda pulled a small, old, battered book from his robe and peered into it. He was horrified, but also very intrigued by this new strangue language. The book had a whole chapter just on 'vulgar language and expressions'. He had not yet dared to look into it and preferred to use the main part of the book as a guide (Mind you, the thickest part of the book consisted of the one 'vulgar' chapter).
He used the book and his simple knowledge of Morporkian to put together some sentences (However, the old and outdated edition of the book would make speaking even harder for him. He dismissed this because of principles. If he knew one thing about the Written Word, than that was that it could only help).
'Exque- uh... Exquesest thou me, good man, couldst y- thou, hm, pointset, *Klatchian* sorry, point me to the, ye?... ye nearest inn, uh...' As an afterthought, he added '?'
The stranger looked at him blankly for a few seconds, than grinned and replied: 'Of course my good fellow, just you, thou go that way and the first to the left, ye can't miss it, big sign, can't miss it.'
He had even been so kind as to show Abda part of the way, putting an arm around him and pointing the way with the other one. When Demas happily said: 'Faretheewell!', the stranger had even given him a friendly pat on the back.
Abda Demas Ephah wondered if it had been just a coincidence that part of his money had dissapeared from the folds of his robe. Just to be sure, even though he wouldn't dream of accusing the kind stranger of theft, oh no, he made sure he had a tight grip on his backpack.

Ankh-Morpork, the big city. Grechin looked up at the walls and gave a grin. The city of opportunities, some had called it on her way there. She couldn't stop noticing that they had said it with a leer and a wink to their mates. She shrugged. Maybe it was a cultural thing.

The gates weren't well guarded. In fact, they weren't guarded at all apart from a snoring, overweight man in the guard tower to the right. Grechin frowned at the open gates. Always be polite, her mother had pounded into her at a young age, and politeness meant knocking before entering. She tried to remember what to do in the event of an open, unguarded door. Her mother hadn't told her anything about that. Doors were closed in the Hinny household. Mother had Views about that.

Uncertainly, she wandered through the gate. It was bad manners to leave doors open. She jotted down a mental note to scold the guard if she ever saw him again. She wandered through the busy streets. She was pleased to see that she drew a few looks from passers by but her smile faded when she realised that anyone looking even remotely woman-like was drawing looks.

She looked around for an inn. She wandered over to a large building. The sign proclaimed it as
'The Pleasant.' Grechin didn't think it looked too pleasant. It had mould on the side, trying to masquerade as ivy. Grechin glared at it. Mother had never approved of cities, and she was beginning to see why.

"Next.." a very bored dwarfs tone coul be heard.

A tall young man stepped forward.

"Ay lost me wallet" a squeeky voice shouted "and ay caen't seem ter find it!Ein it there's ey littly piece o' papaer with me real name oin eit."

"Was it green with a sort of yellowish sign of the Assassins Guild?"Orcakeline asked taking deep breaths.

"Ye..hey,how'd you know that?"

"Looks like you've changed you've voice already,,for lying to me about your identity you're going to give me sixty procent of the money in there,and believe me,I'm letting yer getting easy out of this instead of reporting you to the Captain."

"Bu.."

"No buts,Sir.45,56...78...100,101...,actually,45 is enough for 's your wallet,now beat it!"

Orcakeline looked at the watch and stood up.A short grumpy woman came in with an empty leash.

"My dog disappeared!"the lady screamed.

"Good,that means he finally found a new you'll excuse me,I have to go now."

The dwarf went right past the fat little grumpy stunned woman and went outside with her pack in a hand and her pullover in the other one.

"Hey,Nobby!Which way?"Orcakeline grinned and got her helmet off.

The quiet before the storm...

Finally, they were ready. All the bars were stocked, the cellar was full, the pool was full of mud, and all the relevant people had shown up. THe girls, the trolls, the bar staff... they were ready. All that was needed was for them to open. Scarlett savoured the last moment of silence, then opened the pub.

Already outside was a fair few men, as well as reporters and protesters. The trolls took up their positions immmediatly. Candice was stationed on the door to make sure all her regulars got in - after all, it wasnt good business sense to turn away those who had kept your business alive, all the while she kept an eye on the protesters.

They were the usual mix of religious types, some of whom she knew would bbe back later hoping for a private session, as well as a group of women who believed that what was going on was exploitation.

Things were going to get messy, and it wasnt going to be because of the mud...

Dave flew out of the doorway into the street. He stood back up and took a swing at the massive man who had used his real name. The man grabbed Dave's arm and laughed. A laugh that turned to a howl as Daves foot connected with the mans knee.
They tumbled down the street. They rolled into a crowd that stood outside a bar. The man and Dave stood up. Both were bleeding profusly from their mouths and noses. With the last of his strength, Dave through a punch that connected with the mans jaw. They both screamed as the mans jaw and Daves hand broke. The man passed out and fell like a tree. Dave meanwhile stumbled around then fell to his knees and looked up into a beutiful red-heads face...Whos name had to be girlish...like his.

"Awwwww...why couldnt you be a Bob?" Dave groaned then passed out.

Dave flew out of the doorway into the street. He stood back up and took a swing at the massive man who had used his real name. The man grabbed Dave's arm and laughed. A laugh that turned to a howl as Daves foot connected with the mans knee.
They tumbled down the street. They rolled into a crowd that stood outside a bar. The man and Dave stood up. Both were bleeding profusly from their mouths and noses. With the last of his strength, Dave through a punch that connected with the mans jaw. They both screamed as the mans jaw and Daves hand broke. The man passed out and fell like a tree. Dave meanwhile stumbled around then fell to his knees and looked up into a beutiful red-heads face...Whos name had to be girlish...like his.

"Awwwww...why couldnt you be a Bob?" Dave groaned then passed out.

"Right, we need Drinkin' stuff, and..."
"More drinkin' stuff"
"Aye and food, and anything else you can think o'"

Iona knew something would go wrong, oh well lets hope no one notices

Nobby and Orcakeline walked down the street toward the pub, not exactly hurrying, not exactly in copper mode.

It had been the longest day Nobby could remember as he wasn't exactly patient when it came to things like this. As a child, he would work himself up into absolute fits just waiting for the Hogfather...in Grune. His parents hadn't bothered with the idea of giving presents - but the family on the other side of the hill did. They never did work out that faulty lock on the kitchen door.

He was so excited about tonight that he'd, er, well, "shaved" wouldn't exactly be the right word for it. Neither would "showered", "bathed" or any other word refering to hygiene - but he had splashed some scent on.

As they approached the pub, he saw the lines of people growing and the commotion.

Giving Orcakeline a wink - or what could be loosely thought of as a wink - he walked over to the protestors and looked up at the first sign waiver he came to.

"What's all this then?"

"We're protestin' can't you see that?"

"Right, but exactly what are you protestin'?"

"The indecent and un-accept-able behaviors which are said to be takin' place in that est...estably...that pub!"

Nobby allowed a concerned look appear on his face, causing several spots to move out of the way.

"That pub there? That one? Right there? Indecent behavior you say, huh? Werl, lucky for you my partner and I have been sent here to keep an eye on the behavi- the place. If there's anything indecent going on in there I'll be sure to see it."

Realizing that he was acting like a copper, off duty no less, Nobby motioned to Orcakeline.

"If you would be so kind as to show yer permit to Corporal Orcakeline-

"Wha' permit?"

"Yer protester permit?"

"We need a permit to protest? Since when?"

"You didn't know? Oh well then, we may have a bit a trouble on our..er.. your hands. Yeah, see, Ankh-Morpork muni-ci-pali-ty code 4 subsection 17, line 9b clearly states that any person, persons or others wishing to engage in the act of protestations within the city limits during daylight hours or hours of darkness - and not being gainfully employed by armies of enemy nations, must apply for a permit no less than 45 days before the date of the perceived injustice. It's clearly posted for your reading enjoyment in the Watch House of your choosing, in the basement, under the stairs, on the back of the door to the loo."

He stood there letting the concerned face linger a moment before the next sign carrier spoke up.

"What happens if we, uh, didn't exactly apply for the permit?"

"No permit you say? Oh well then, that's a bit of a trick there." Nobby looked again at Orcakeline. "Didn't we hear that Sergeant Detritus, Captain Carrot and Sergeant Angua were going to be by in a little while?"

"I'm sure they can help you."

The sign waivers looked a bit uneasy as Nobby made his way to the front door of the pub.

Alice stumbled along the road, playing with her hair, despising how limp and straight it now was, of course, now she could no longer afford to have it curled now, since her father had thrown her out

You are seventeen, now, Alice, her father's words echoed inside of her head, and it is time that you stopped living off of your family's wealth, and started making some money on your own, if you need some money, join the city watch and make something of yourself

those were the last words that she had heard from her father, but how could he ever expect her to become a member of the watch? She was a clumsy fool, and was an out cast as it was, how would she get any where in life if she could barely hold her sword?

All of these thoughts circled around in her mind, as she aimlessly roamed around the city, not even noticing that she was strolling right in to the heart of the Shades

Jenny had clocked off, she had waved bye to Burtha and ran home. She was excited the prospect of going out again tonight was all most too much to bear.
She changed quickly, into her tight fitting suit. It covered her whole body, had built in soft shoes and a hood that covered her head. When she turned to look in the mirror all she could see were her eyes.
The suit was a total insperation she had "aquired" it from her teacher, who in turn had aquired it from a wizard who wanted to walk about unseen.
When the light hits the suit it reflects making the wearer seem invisible. A handy thing to have if wanted to get around unseen.
She left her room using the window and climbed up onto the roof.
She moved like a panther across the roofs of Ankh Morpork.
She watched the crowds swelling towards the pub that had been in the paper. She laughed at the sight of Nobby Nobbs trying to look like an offical watchman, well if the watch was there she could really have some fun.
She moved on she had work to do. She had obtained the first item on her clients list.
That had been fun, taking the small stone tablet from the muesum had been easy.
She didnt understand the writting on it, but she wasnt being paid to understand just complete the clients want list.
The second item was tonight's goal and just maybe possible now, thank the Gods for mud wrestling! She couldnt have planned a better distraction.
She had reached the correct roof now the fun begins.
She knew this was going to be tough, This time she was dealing with someone who was used to miss trust and theft.
She lowered herself down from the roof to the tiny office window. She smiled at the way it looked so easy let she knew to be extra carefull. She attached a rope to the wall extracted her tools and disabled the hidden booby trap.
Then like a snake she slithered through the window and pulled herself straight up to the ceiling.
The office was empty, papers strewn everywhere and a cheap cigar butt still smoldered in the ash tray.
This was going to be easier than she thought. She could hear voices down stairs shouting, she paused to listen.

"Nobby's gone where?"

"Im sorry sir he is off duty."

"And you seriously think that makes a difference to Nobby!"

"Well he said the situation needed keeping a eye on sir."

"Yes I bet he did,both eyes on and hands too if he gets the chance, well we better get organised and get some uniforms over there corpral"

"Yes sir, although I think we may have afew men already there sir the idea did seem rather popular with the men - there's a lot off duty tonight sir and the men that are on duty sir were very keen to be on certain patrols if you get my meaning Sir"

"oohh, only too well corpral, only too well! - right lets get organised."

The voices moved out into the yard now was Jenny's chance she moved quickly to the desk. It was locked but that was no problem to someone with her skills. She opened the drawer and there was the wooden puzzle block that had the same strange markings as the stone tablet.
She picked it up and then she saw it - Commaander Vime's disorganiser it was too much temptation.
Her hands trembled with excitement as she picked it up and put it in her black pull string bag with the puzzle. She relocked the drawer and left the way she came.

She jumped back along the roofs feeling elated, there was nothing likew the buzz she got from doing a job.
Just have to hide the stuff and go home, she thought then I will go and have supper with Burtha and convince her Ive been there all evening.
Jenny was happy , really happy but tomorrow was another day...

Grechin peered out the window at the crowd. She'd gotten a room at The Pleasant and everything had looked like it was settling down until now. But now this had happened. There was altogether too much shouting and pushing going on. Shouting and pushing were bad manners, her mother had said. So was drinking, talking loudly, selling things, running, jumping, getting excited and grinning. And the crowd outside was managing to encompass nearly all of them.

It was . . . refreshing, in some ways. Back at her old town Mother had ruled the people with an iron fist and an iron glare. People walked around cautiously in her old town, as Mother had a tendency to hide around corners and jump out at people with an iconograph, to catch them out. She had never been a very nice woman.

Grechin pulled on her least revealing set of clothes and walked out into the street warily. She couldn't hear her own thoughts above the roar of the crowd, which were mainly along the lines of: bloody hell. Swearing was bad manners too but Mother wasn't around and frankly Grechin was feeling a bit reckless. She'd been ruled for 19 years now by Mother and it was time to break out.

None of the men had approached her, which she felt was an altogether good thing, despite her rebellious feeling. Recklessness and insanity were two completely different things. She pushed through the crowd until she was close to the front and was about to peek her head over to see what the fuss was about when someone stumbled up to her.

Of course, there was always one. Grechin smiled pleasantly while the dead drunk man burbled on, advancing towards her. There was a blur of movement and suddenly the man was on the ground, groaning. Grechin hunkered down and hissed into the man's ear, 'There's more where that came from.' The man nodded painfully and she continued through the crowd to the front door. There were two trolls there, grinning. She shielded her eyes and, while another man was let through, slipped through the door. Now, she thought to herself, let's see what all the fuss is about

Dave woke up...in extreme pain. He sat up and looked around. Alley way. Bad. Had posiblly broken. Bad. Still alive. Bad. All in All, Daves life had been better. No. Wait. No it hadn't. He stood up and blindly stumbled around the building. The line still stood there and so did the The Woman that he passed out seeing. He threw his money pouch at the women and stumbled in. He ordered a beer...then shortly another, and another. 6 beers later, Dave could no longer feel the pain in his hand. He also didnt see the extreamly well armed figure walk in.

Samson looked at the line and decided that he needed a brake. He walked up to the Red-headed, who looked at him for money. Samson stared at her then smiled and walked in.

Scarlett saw Nobby approaching with a dwarf in tow.

oh no...

Surprisingly, he stopped at the protesters, and had a word with them. Scarlett strained to hear what he was saying, but it was lost over the noise of the crowd. Suddenly, most of the protesters dissapeared, except for a few, who snuck into the line when the majority of their allies had dissapeared.

Scarlett smiled when Nobby approached her, but shut the lid of the money box, just in case.

"Free entry for you both" she said, knowing full well that Nobby wasnt going to attempt to pay. "And access to our VIP room. Have fun!"

Scarlett let another person in, and as they went through the door, she noticed a girl sneak in with him.

"Oi! you get back here!" she yelled after the girl, then caught Liams eye and indicated to the girl. Liam nodded, understanding, and left his post at the bar to find her.

Thepub was almost at capacity, which made scarlett happy, but it didnt help the situation outside. Then a money pouch came flying at Scarlett, which she caught automatically. She was going to refuse entry to the man - he looked suspiciously liked the guy from the fight earlier - and the way he was cradling his hand meant he probably was, but one look at the contents of the money bag and she waved him through. The was a small uproar from the people in the front of the line, but Scarlett just shrugged at them.

"VIP" she said, pocketing the money bag.

A bell inside rang, indicating the start of round one, and the people in the line groaned in dissapointment.

"uh boss..." one of the trolls rumbled, and Scarlett looked to see what they were staring at. Samson. Scarlett stared at him, hoping he'd pay, but doubting it. Finally, she nodded, and he smiled, then walked in. This time, the peopel in the line didnt complain. They knew who he was, too.

The kid who she'd refused entry earlier was still handing around, so scarlett motioned him over.

"If you do me a favour i'll letyou in" she said, guessing him to be about 16. Quickly, she wrote a note, then handed it to him.

"Go to the Drum - they'lllet you in - and ask for Lilah. If she's not there they'll probably know where. DONT read it."

He nodded, grinning, then ran off.

Within half an hour Lilah and the kid were back. Teh boy sauntered into the bar, feeling on top of the would. Lilah just nodded thanks at Scarlett, then entered too.

Romany the, ah, "seamstress", sat in bed waiting for the next customer to be sent up. She was one of the best in Ankh-Morpork, and earned more money than just about any of the other girls.

But, truth told, she was bored. While she waited she picked up a copy of The Times and looked at the headlines. Then she turned to page 4. A smile formed on her face...

Nobby was shown to the VIP room and pulled back a chair for Orcakeline. Before sitting down, he removed his cape and propped it up against the railing; looking to floor below he couldn't believe the amount of people that were inside the pub.

"I didn't know culture was big around here."

From somewhere a bell sounded, and the first two women came out onto the floor.

Several seconds later, Nobby remembered to breath and close his mouth.

"I, uh...suppose this must be some of that for'n culture that Fred's always talkin' about. He knows the words to all them...songs."

Abda Demas Ephah arrived just in time to see one of the trolls refusing entrance to a customer, although maybe rejecting would be a better term. Abda knew had been told the best place to get information would be such an establishment, so he paused and thought for a moment.
He had often heard of the cruelness of these barbaric creatures and had been warned never to meddle which such heathen and sinful beings, but had also been told of their gullibility. Something in him stirred. This reminded him of the trials of St. Al, who, for the glory of Offler, had to outsmart a giant cat.
Praising the holy writings for their infinite wisdom and guidance, he pulled all his food reserves out (he had been told that the food in Ankh-Morpork was basically goo, so he had taken a decent amount of provisions with him) and walked hurriedly to the trolls.
Facing the giant thing, he suddendly started to sweat, but when he saw a rocky hand clenching into a rocky fist, he hurriedly asked:
'The way to the kitchens?' ,grinning desperatly.
The troll paused, his face contorted with the effort of thought, and ultimatly decided that what this funny, frail towelhead wanted, was to know where the kitchens were located. So the troll did the only logical thing he could, and let Demas in, pointing the way.
Abda breathed out, packed his things again and pushed his way into a corner, which, compared to the rest of the establishment, was practically empty. He craned to see what it was, that it attracted so much attention. Meanwhile, a slightly drunk, but certainly dizzy idividual approached him, chuckling like only an empty stomach and a bottle of dwarven vodka could chuckle.

"Ack, what do ye think that is?" Said mad Billy, looking over to a bar with what looked like very large rocks
"I think it's a pub guarded by Trolls" replied Wee Archie he had seen many in Copperhead, he even knew one or two of their songs
"Pub, ok they lets get some drink"
"Yeah!"

The feegles ran over, the trolls didn't notice they can't see that fast. They found alcohol behind the bar,
"Ok get some Bearhuggers" said Cathal
"What's that?" asked Bobby
"Strongest alcohol around, the bigjobs cannae drink a whole bottle their such bunties"
"Right, anythin' else?
"Anythin' we can carry" replied Cathal with a bright smile
"Right big man, lets be quick there are a lot of bigjobs in here"
"Aye, come on"

"There are bigjobs fightin' in mud and they are doin' it all wrong, there noo head buttin' anywhere what mundlins" said Daft Spike, they he ran over, I'll teach them
"mmm… bigman Daft Spike is runnin' over to the bigjobs"
"What!, oh no" Cathal hit himself on the head not again, the bigjobs weren't meant to see them "come on we better stop him" as he ran forward

Daft Spike hit on of the bigjobs on the head knocking her out
"Run ye Idiot" yelled Cathel legging it to the door followed by the feegles carrying the drink, as that was important.

Grechin pushed through the bar to the pit. She stepped to the side as a clump of mud flew past her ear. A cheer went up from the crowd as one of the wrestlers leapt onto the back of the other.

'Excuse me, missy' she heard behind her. She turned around, putting on a smile.

'Can I help you?' she asked, her knee ready to be brought up into the man's sensitive parts.

'You can help me by getting out of the bar, girl. It seems to me that you got in without paying,' he said, putting a hand on her arm. She smiled pleasantly then twisted away fast and swung up with a fist. The man ducked and stumbled into her with a shoulder. Her and the man tipped over the side of the pit straight into the mud. The crowd screamed their support, excited by this new development.

As the original wrestlers looked around in confusion, Grechin saw to her astonishment a tiny, blue, kilt wearing man leap into the pit and knock one of the wrestlers to the ground. The crowd cheered even louder now, thrilled. As she watched, Grechin was thrown to the ground by the man. She landed heavily in the mud, covering herself in it. The original wrestler stared at them, then, deciding to go with it, she leapt into their fight, throwing them both aside. Grechin took her down from behind, laughing in excitement.

Dave sat next to Samson. He yelled and cheered at the evergrowing brawl in the mudpit.

"ishnt thish great?" Dave shouted at Samson. Samson nodded drunkenly, for he was...well drunk.

Samson shouted in surprise when Lilah walked in. He stumbled up behind her, spun her around, tipped her over and planted a drunk, sloppy kiss on her. He righted her and smiled. Drunkenly

"Hiya Babe!"

Chris sighed in an overdramatic way that only teenagers can, and twirled a bit of her darkish-blond hair. She tried to think of all the embarrasing things that parents can do, but failed to find anything worse than the sight of her parents shouting and holding up signs about indecent acts. They weren't bad people, her parents, and they weren't half as embarrassing as her friends' parents, but they tended to be opinionated about things. This was a perfect example- the protest hadn't been their idea, but they went anyway, and felt it necessary to drag Chris along.

After she had finished sighing, she began sneaking surreptitiously away from her parents, but in the crowds outside the bar she became slightly lost and ended up in an alley. There was a door which Chris assumed led into the bar.

"Might as well figure out what they're all freaking out about," she thought, and quietly pushed the door open just enough for her to get in. She was in some sort of storeroom, with dank-looking walls. She saw a door at the opposite side of the room and went up to it. She heard cheering and loud conversation at the other side of the door, and went through to the main part of the bar.

She looked at the mud-wrestling with interest. She had lived all her life in an area that was- only technically, her parents always said- part of the Shades, so she knew all about what her parents and their fellow protestors considered "indecent". Chris herself was quite pretty, and several of her friends who belonged to less morally-opinionated families had suggested that she should consider a future career as something along the lines of the mud-wrestling girls she now saw in front of her. It didn't seem that bad, she had always thought, though she'd always planned to be a politician instead. She wasn't sure which her parents would be more ashamed of.

She looked at the people around her, seeing some of her neighbours in the crowd as well as some people she was sure she had seen before in Watch uniforms. She saw a woman who for some reason she thought must someone who works in the bar, and saw suspicion in her eyes for a fraction of a second. She moved quickly away, into another part of the crowd where she wouldn't be seen as easily. She sighed again, this time with relief. She returned to watching the wrestling girls, the thrill of hiding having put an adventurous glint into her blue eyes and a smile on her face