Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Paige shuts the trunk of her dad's car and walks towards the bus. One weekend in Pittsburgh and a big competition lie ahead of her. To be honest, if the competition wasn't so important for her potential scholarships, she'd gladly stay at home. It would be easier. She could avoid the world there. She could avoid Emily there.
Her dad puts a hand on her shoulder and pulls her closer. "Go and make me proud." he says with a squeeze of her shoulder and a kiss against her head. Paige nods and hugs him back shortly before letting go. She hands her bag to the driver, who stashes all the bags into the trunk, and climbs into the bus.
She sits down somewhere in the middle, scooting to the window, placing her jacket on the other seat. Five hours are long, she can't just avoid anyone who might sit down next to her for the entire trip. What she can do is keep everyone away. It's what she does.
Twenty minutes later everyone is finally settled and the driver starts the engine. As soon as they reach the highway, Coach Fulton turns on the speaker. "Listen up, girls! You probably noticed, we got a bigger bus, because the one we were going to get broke down. I assume you have no problem with that?" A collective 'No' sounds through the bus.
"Good. The drive is going to take about five hours, but we have to take some breaks, so we'll arrive in about six hours. You'll only have time to bring your stuff to your rooms before we are going to eat something, so you'll have to unpack after that. We have six twin rooms and one single room that I'll be sleeping in."
Paige rolls her eyes. Stupid rooms. She just hopes whoever she has to share with leaves her alone. The coach rambles on about the last practice and the importance of this competition, but the words reach Paige as dull and hollow sounds as she peaks through the gap between the seats. The other girls sit a few rows back and she lets her eyes flit over them.
They are all whispering and grinning and look way to happy for Paige's liking. She wants to turn back again, when her eyes find Emily and stay there. She sits alone, her long black hair framing her face as she looks down, tapping away at her phone. She's probably texting that blondie Samara.
Paige can feel the jealousy crawl under her skin. Jealousy she isn't supposed to feel. That she doesn't want to feel. After all, there is nothing between them. Not anymore. Emily made that pretty clear.
And now it feels like a punch in the gut every time Paige sees her. A punch of guilt, disappointment, regret and anger.
It's gnawing at Paige's insides, the chance she had and messed up. It tears her apart, because she knows what would make it all right again and that she isn't brave enough to do that. And Emily left her. She didn't wait.
Becky Graham taps her shoulder from behind and Emily turns around, talking and laughing with her.
Tearing her eyes away, Paige swallows heavily and sinks down in her seat. She'll be fine. She just has to find someone nice to share her room with. Then she will just concentrate on swimming and ignore the rest. Just like she always does.
Leaning her head against the window, she closes her eyes and wishes everything away.
She's in that weird state between sleeping and being awake. Her thoughts circle around and around without start, without destination. Her dad is standing in front of her, his back turned to her. When she walks towards him, he turns around and pushes her away. Stumbling, she feels a pang in her chest. Her hands reach for something, anything. Emily is there, walking away as Paige reaches out for her.
She hears Emily's laugh and feels herself falling. Her body jerks up and she's awake.
It's not like she wants to hear what the other girls are talking about, but she forgot to charge her iPod and sleeping isn't an option either. They already covered make up and nails and spent the last twenty minutes discussing whether pants or skirts look better.
Paige finds herself listening whenever Emily says something, her voice stinging, but she can't stop herself from wanting to hear it.
The conversation moves on to boys and relationships and she rolls her eyes. Three more hours of this. Maybe falling asleep again wouldn't be so bad after all. She sinks further down into her seat and tries to relax. Her eyes drift shut, the voices still reaching her. She doesn't know how long she sits like that. It could have been five minutes or an hour, but when someone mentions Emily, it doesn't matter and she's wide awake again.
"So, Emily, what about you? Someone new in your life?" Paige feels her throat swelling up, her fingers twitching. "Nope." A weight falls from her chest, only to crush her again. "Then why are you blushing?" She tries to swallow her feelings, to push them deep down or to just not care at all. "There might be someone." Her stomach twists and breathing seems impossible. So much for not caring.
There are 'Aww's and 'How cute!'s and Paige thinks she might throw up. "It's nothing big, I just met her." The bus stops and Coach Fulton announces a toilet break. She curls into herself and feigns sleep as some of the girls walk by, her arms crossed, hands twisting into her own shirt.
When they arrive, everyone hurries outside, talking and giggling. Paige walks behind them, keeping her distance. The hotel lobby is full of people, bustling about, the sound of luggage being dragged around louder than the chatter of everyone.
The Coach gets their attention, clapping her hands and raising her voice. The sounds fade and everyone listens to her. "Okay, girls! You have ten minutes to go to your rooms. We will meet here and then we're gonna grab a bite."
Before she knows it, everyone is gone and she is left in silence. "So, looks like you two are sharing a room. I think this might be good for you." Paige frowns at Coach Fulton's words and turns to her right. Her bag slips from her grasp and hits the floor. Emily is standing in front of her. The only sound is her own heart racing.
A/N: This is just the start and I know it's short, but there is more to come, I promise. If you have questions or want to tell me something, you can do that on my tumblr underthegreensward . tumblr . com, just minus the spaces.
