The search for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was by now an annual ordeal for Headmaster Dumbledore, but when Divination Professor Trelawney went missing, he had twice the trouble.

But here were two applicants for these open positions, at his gargoyle step, so to speak.

"Lemon drop", he heard Professor McGonagall say.

One of the nick knacks the Headmaster' office had collected started spinning furiously. Unfortunately, he didn't know the purpose of most of them. He hid legitimate tools and devices amid random and worthless things, thereby making most of his visitors ignoring the glass case as just a bunch of junk.

"This is Mr. Data," she said, pointing to the man with an oddly pale skin. What an odd name, Albus thought.

"And Ms. Troi," Minevra continued. Deanna was much less strange than her companion, that was for sure. But then, DADA professors were always strange these days.

"Please have a seat," Dumbledore asked them. "I understand you both arrived in Hogsmeade last night, but what I didn't hear is where you came from, what is your background in these subjects that you want to teach?"

Ms. Troi spoke up first. "I've been a psychologist with my own practice for a few years now, for the muggles, you know, but I've also operated as a psychic for any wizards who came to see me. Mr. Data was a patient of mine for years before I realized he was a wizard. If you need a calm steadying hand on the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, I really recommend Data."

"We'll deal with Mr. Data next. There are many in the ministry who would be upset of there was no professor of Divination at Hogwarts. My view differs, madam. How will you prove me wrong about the subject?"

"If my memory is correct, Professor Trelawney took a very traditionalist's view of divination, teaching on tea leaves, crystal balls and that sort of thing?"

"That IS what the course books say to teach on, Ms. Troi," Dumbledore interrupted. He wasn't sure about Divination's value, but it was what it was.

"I can see the now, with perfect clarity, and I can teach, and maybe some of these students will be able to see like I see, but many will not. The best they can expect out of divination is a better empathy for their fellow classmates, which is certainly a good thing. My classroom will be a very peace place, Professor Dumbledore. There will be no talk of grims or horrible fates."

Dumbledore stood up, "This does not sound like Divination to me, Ms. Troi. And some people do have horrible fates upon them, why I can think of one boy in particular that Professor Trelawney has already talked to me about before he's been sorted into a house."

Mr. Data stood up and spoke for the first time. Even his voice seemed to be flat and oddly droning. "Give my compatriot a chance. I have seen wizards come from a thousand miles away to see her. I didn't think she could help me, at first, but I did feel something when Spot, my cat died. I can't say that I have feelings everyday, but Ms. Troi helped me immensely to have them at all."

Everyone has feelings, Dumbledore knew. If this Data had been surpressing them so completely, he was either some kind of ascetic who avoided human contact, or he was going to exploding from holding everything in so long.

But begrudgingly, Dumbledore did have to admit that Ms. Troi had an impact on Mr. Data, it was obvious from the way he spoke about his counselor.

"What can you see about me, Ms. Troi? Prove to me that you would be worthy, or I will have to abandon Divination classes for this semester."

Ms. Troi didn't stand up, or pull out any rabbit's foot or do anything at all as far as Dumbledore could tell. She just spoke: "I'm feeling disinterest, but also, excitement tinged with fear and dread. But overpowering all of this, is guilt. There is something that no one knows about, it's from your past, and every day you face your guilty conscience over this thing. And now, you are shocked, I suppose shocked that I was able to read you."

"Divination is not a Legilimency class, Ms. Troi! Not even He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named could penetrate my mind. Here we have a staggeringly powerful Legilimens, who pretends to be a Seer. Either that, or you are somehow acquainted with old acquaintances of mine. I would have another test, with someone whose secrets are a little less known," Dumbledore said.

"Who else is at Hogwarts right now? Just the Professors?" Troi asked.

"And the groundskeepers, and Mr. Finch," Dumbledore said.

"I sense anticipation, getting ready for the semester of course. Excitement, dread," she said.

"Proving nothing," Dumbledore said. "One moment, I will be back with our potions master."

Dumbledore stepped out of his office, to go get Professor Snape.

"What is this Legilimency, Data?" Troi asked.

"It's a psychic skill that anyone can learn. Full mind reading, much like how your mother can read thoughts. I'm not sure if your mental defenses will be able to stop someone using Legilimency on you. It seems their own defense against this, occlumency, can be highly effective if someone is trained in using it. I would recommend you learn this skill if we plan on staying here a while. I should be immune to this form of attack."

"The Headmaster is very suspicious right now. Protective of his school."

Dumbledore walked back into his office with another professor. "This is Professor Snape, our Potions-Master."

"It's nice to make your acquaintance," Data said, offering his hand, but the Professor shook his head.

"I might have a few words in private after these charlatans leave," Professor Snape said.

Dumbledore responded, "Don't be hasty. Now Ms. Troi, if you would remember, nothing leaves this office if you do succeed. Professor, please give every effort in resisting Ms. Troi's legilimency.

Professor Snape sneered, but then he readied himself, and nodded.

"Ok, Ms. Troi, give it a shot."

Deanna had been perceiving the foul attitude of Professor Snape since he entered. He desired something, but he knew it was gone. The emotional cocktail of fondness, nostalgia and regret that was deep within the man's mind made that fairly clear. It was a romantic fondness, in her heart she felt it like a slightly different color of paint on a canvas. In addition, there were two other men in his emotional landscape. They were pulling him in different directions but he had made his choice, but had to pretend otherwise.

"There are two men that you owe loyalty to, and to each of them, you pretend you are merely playing along with the other man. But you have made your choice already, but you have to be emotionally ready to pretend you made the opposite choice. Deeper down, there is a woman who you deeply loved, and lost. You feel sentimental and love struck when your mind wanders back to those days, but you'd hate anyone to think you had a tender feeling left in you, so you suppress it with a harsh attitude and impulsiveness."

"Wait don't Dumbledore yelled, as Snape had already drawn his wand and penetrated Deanna's mind in return. She could tell he had done it, but she couldn't seem to resist like usually. Then it ended.

"Expelliarmus," the Headmaster had said in a perfectly calm voice, and the intrusion ended. "That's enough Professor Snape!"

"I am sorry, Ms. Troi. It would appear that your offense is stronger than your defense. But what offense indeed. I can see that you are not a Divination instructor, however, I may have a position for you, afterall. Professor Snape, please return to your preparations. As much as I appreciate your desire to interview Mr. Data about the DADA position, I'd rather not have enough incident."

"Ms. Troi was afraid, afraid that I'd get further into her mind. All I could sense was her fear. Watch them closely, Headmaster, as will I!"

The professor left.

"Now Mr. Data, what sort of issues were you seeing Ms. Troi about?"

"I have a hard time expressing emotions, and Counselor Troi has been working with me on that. And a lot of humor and social customs I have had a hard time with also. Counselor Troi has been a very good friend."

"Have you traveled with Ms. Troi's clinic ever since?" Dumbledore asked.

Deanna was shocked, he hadn't even asked her about the clinic. Their cover story helped smooth over the fact that they couldn't claim to be from anywhere on Earth.

"I've entered all her patient information by hand and then computer entry of all patient records later. I've fulfilled all the ancillary positions she needed, without having to hire dozens of employees to travel with," Data said.

Deanna spoke up, "Mr. Data is a very quick study and fast worker. I believe he has read all of Hogwart's Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks already."

"Most impressive, Mr. Data. And what is your opinion of our textbooks?"

"It seems they stick to rather elementary material, Professor," Data said.

Deanna thought to herself, "Oh data, don't start speaking like Sherlock Holmes."

"I encourage every Defense against the Dark Arts Professor to bring something beyond just the text to class. Demonstrations and engaging, interactive class sessions seem to be the best way to get the students into the subject. What are your thoughts on spicing up the class, Mr. Data."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, Headmaster. Although I could produce a capsaicin extract for the students," Data said.

"Data, the Headmaster isn't asking about spicy foods, he's asking you how you would make the class more exciting and engaging for the students," Deanna interrupted.

"Oh of course. I must apologize, Professor, I am very bad with analogies. Their book learning will only give them a theory of defense. I would enforce class discipline first, and of those students who don't stray, I would create a sort of game, or competition. One student must be the surprise assailant, and he will use only a safe spell perhaps the simple stunning hex. The others would watch for the surpriser, and would only be allowed to choose from a few defenses in addition to trying to stun their attacker. I would not allow any students to participate who showed they couldn't follow class rules."

"You will need a wand, Mr. Data. I would like to see just how you enforce class discipline. It seems most students just follow their own desires in class. Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall have some competition for most orderly classrom. I do see that in you, Mr. -ehem- Professor Data."

"Thank you Headmaster, I will keep you aprised of my efforts with the students."

"Ms. Troi, I would recommend you go get a wand from Ollivander's as well. And you each need a set of black professors robes, a few sets ideally. But before you go, as a courtesy to your students and myself, I would like you to each be sorted into a house."

Deanna had read about this 'hat' that chose houses for the students, but she didn't sense any being other than Data, Dumbledore and herself, and the phoenix.

"Ms. Troi, go ahead, put it on your head," the headmaster said, handing it to her.

The hat spoke into her mind, piercing her barriers with ease.

"Most interesting. Most interesting. I see many things within you. I count what you are striving for more than what you already have become. You would be very comfortable in Hufflepuff, but secretly you want more. Gryffindor! (and don't be worried about your friend)."

Dumbledore clapped, "Excellent, excellent. And Mr. Data."

Deanna was terrified that the hat wouldn't recognize Data as a mind at all, and that it would just sit on his head like any other hat, but no sooner had it rested on Data's head and it shouted, "Hufflepuff!"

Data was striving to be human, to be like the people around him. She could see why the hat choose that. Data was living Ravenclaw, but striving to be Hufflepuff, if she understood the houses correctly.

"I expect you back here by 8 sharp, tomorrow morning. And I will find a position for you, Ms. Troi. Hopefully we can add a counselor's office to the healing wing, but if not, I will keep you on as my personal secretary for as long as you're willing.