Alice POV
"Jasper!" I screamed. My knees felt weak as I snapped out of my vision and realized the horror of my vision of what I had just seen. My friend, my first human friend was in so much pain she threw herself off a cliff. Oh God, this is going to kill Edward.
How could I let this happen? I could have looked for her before, before she decided to do this.
"What happened?" Jasper sprinted over to me from the mahogany chair in the corner of our large bedroom. He swiftly enveloped me in his arms protectively as I kneeled on the floor, losing my will to stand from the horrible scene I had witnessed.
"Bella will be dead soon. She's going to kill herself and I have no way to stop her." I replied somberly before my sobs overtook my body. Jasper held me tighter and scooped me up in his arms. I felt so helpless knowing there was nothing to be done as the vision was only minutes in the future.
Jasper laid me down on our king-sized bed. He wrapped his toned arms around me and we lay there in silence for hours. I did not need to say a word. My husband knew every feeling of grief that was coursing through my body and I could not utter a word without the sobs returning. I knew he was feeling my overwhelming guilt and grief, a horrible concoction of emotion I was unable to control. He tried calming me with wave after wave of his calming gift, but to no avail. This could have been prevented and I was responsible.
I finally pushed back my sorrow and decided I had to do something. Anything. She was my friend and I was responsible for her death. "Charlie will be crushed. Bella was his only child and he has no family in Forks. I need to go back and make sure he is ok", I said softly, breaking our silence.
Jasper moved uncomfortably at my words and I knew why. He had only recently seemed to overcome the guilt he had felt at causing the separation of Bella and Edward. I was so wrapped up in my own emotion, I forgot about the painful memories this was causing him. He felt so awful for months and he was determined to do anything his brother asked.
"Alice, I know how much you are hurting right now but going back to Forks won't bring her back. Edward made it clear to have no contact. We need to respect that", Jasper replied, justified in response, knowing this was the only thing Edward had asked of us.
I felt my desperation rise and knew Jasper could feel it as his body tensed around me. "Edward is the one who caused Bella's anguish and her suicide. Charlie knows that. I have seen awful visions of Bella. Screaming at night, sitting alone for hours, not eating. I have seen Charlie's pain as he watched his daughter wither away while he was helpless to do anything."
"I know Edward thought he was doing what was right, but he caused this. I could have stopped this. I can try to alleviate some of the pain he has caused and be there for Charlie. We should leave soon. It will only be a matter of time until he hears what has happened—", a sob escaped my throat knowing what pain Charlie will suffer burying his only child.
"Alice, please. We need you here. I need you here. We also promised not to go back and I cannot break that promise. I have done enough damage to Edward and I cannot do anymore. Edward will also never forgive himself when he finds out. Besides, Victoria is still around and she would love to cause our family pain by hurting any one of us, including you", Jasper reasoned, slowly stroking my hair and sending waves of calm to me.
My husband could feel every emotion I had but he still did not understand the guilt I felt. He had not really known Bella and could not feel much pain at her loss. He tried, but did not understand the immense burden of my power and know what it feels like to let a beloved human die when I could have prevented it. Our entire family relies on me to protect us and that is always what I have tried to do. Protect. I have never failed at protecting anyone I love. Until now.
"Jasper, if I had been watching her, I could have seen this earlier. I could have stopped this. I could have—" I could not finish my sentence and the sobs returned. I felt overwhelming waves of guilt and Jasper tightened his grip around me and kissed my forehead gently.
"This is not your fault, love. Please do not blame yourself. No one could have imagined this would happen. Please don't ask this, Alice. I cannot let you go to Forks. " Jasper whispered to me while stroking my hair.
I gained control of myself and wriggled myself from my husband's arms. I sat upwards in our bed and turned to see his surprised expression.
"You cannot let me?" I asked, demanding an answer. I was hurt that he would not support me, knowing how deep this affected me.
"Alice, the whole family will be devastated by Bella's death. You are needed here. Also, I cannot let you go two three thousand miles away to comfort a human you barely know while Victoria is around. That is final." Jasper was now sitting straight up in our bed and his face was firm.
I stared at Jasper in disbelief. I had dealt with his over-protectiveness for decades and had tried in every way to communicate how belittling it felt. I had explained that I was his partner, his mate, his wife; not his child. I loved my husband more than myself but this was ruining our marriage. He had been especially frustrating after the incidence with Victoria, an experience which conjured up old memories of war and loss.
"Jasper, do you not hear me when I talk to you? We have been through this. I am your wife! I can take care of myself. You know how this makes me feel. " I screamed but quickly gained control of the volume of my voice. I turned my back to my husband and began pacing around the room, not knowing how to diffuse my frustration.
"Alice, it is my job to protect you. I made that vow that day I married you and I will keep it for the rest of eternity. I can't lose you. Edward has already lost Bella and I cannot imagine the pain that he will be feeling". Jasper tried to explain himself as calmly as my anger grew. He walked over, stopping me in my path, and tried to wrap his arms around me in the embrace I loved so much.
I swatted his arm away and turned my back to him, " What if I don't want to be protected for eternity? What if I want to feel like an equal to you? To be your wife and not your child?" I asked in a chilly tone.
I turned around to see Jasper cover his face with his hands and knew his calm demeanor had disappeared. "Alice, I am stronger than you. I have been fighting in wars for decades. You know I can protect you more than you can protect yourself. You know you will never be equal on that ground". He stopped himself briefly, "You are not going to Forks!" Jasper raised his voice at me rarely. When he barked orders at me like that, I saw my husband as the soldier he once was. It hurt so much thinking that he could treat me like that, having some kind of innate authority over me. He should not have an authority like that over the mate he had chosen to spend eternity with.
Jasper left the room, leaving me in silence, staring out the window into the dark New York forest. We had relocated to Cornell after we left and had attempted to start a new life here, but things had never returned to normal. Esme was quiet and began taking art classes at Cornell. Carlisle was absorbed at work in the clinic and performing research, activities that left him little time at home. Rosalie and Emmett were abroad. Each us did our best to handle our pain at losing Edward. It was only going to get worse when they find out what has happened to Bella.
I felt helpless again. I did not know what to do and I was embarrassed. I knew Jasper's traditional upbriging and realized he was older and more experienced than me, but I was a woman, not a little girl. I was tired of feeling delicate and I could not imagine Rosalie asking permission for anything from Emmett. I admired her. She may be vain and at times difficult, but she was strong and respected. Our family regarded me as the tiny psychic, useful for visions but weak. It hurt even more knowing my own husband thought I was weak. Inferior. I would have drowned in tears if I was human and the pain was overwhelming, humiliating.
I needed to be more like Rose. I'm a vampire. I am an immortal, strong vampire. I can do what I want and he can't stop me. I found little comfort in my decision but I realized that in order to change my marriage, I needed to change myself and the way Jasper saw me. I had made my choice.
I waited about an hour and watched from my window as Jasper and Carlisle went out to go hunting. Esme was practicing her art in the basement for sure, knowing Jasper would never think of leaving me alone. At an inhuman speed, I packed my suitcase and grabbed Esme's car keys. I knew the boys wouldn't be back until tomorrow and Esme was absorbed in her work to notice my departure.
I quietly raced down the stairs and took the keys of Esme's Lexus. My mother was a wonderful person and would understand why I needed to take her car.
I spent the next few hours in the car and finally made it to the airport. It would be a few hours until the next flight until Seattle. I sat there, in the airport terminal, not fully realizing what I had just done. I felt dirty, lying and sneaking off from my family. I had never done anything like this and I hoped it would make my point. Another side of me was excited. This was thrilling and rebellious. Jasper would realize I that can travel and take care of myself. I am a woman who can make her own choices and an equal partner in my marriage.
Wrapped up in these thoughts, the sudden realization of why I had left hit me like a brick wall. My sorrow suddenly returned and the forbidden thrill was gone.
Jasper POV
I drained my fourth deer tonight and threw the carcass against the tree. I hated being put in this position and dreaded what would happen when I returned home.
Alice knew how much I had lost in life and it was against my nature to put her in any danger. I had also ruined Edward's life. I first stole his mate and then I caused her death. I doubt he would ever forgive me. The smallest favor I can do is to respect his wishes and stay away from Forks.
But Alice, she was so stunned and hurt when I yelled at her. I shouldn't have yelled at her. She was already so upset. I felt awful knowing that I had only added to her pain, but I knew it was best to give her some space until she calmed down. I only wished she understood how much I much damage I had already done.
Alice POV
I was finishing my drive to Forks in the rental car from the Seattle Airport and pulled up into Bella's driveway. Charlie must be heartbroken. I slipped inside an unlocked window in the family room and silently ran up the stairs. I have to see her room one last time. I looked around Bella's room and felt like Emmett had just punched me. Everything was in place. Her posters, her bed, her dreamcatcher. She was really gone this time…
Taking a hard look at a place I would never see again, I jumped slightly when I heard the front door open. There was an oddly familiar scent that overwhelmed me…. Bella! I raced down the stairs and stopped suddenly and could only stare at my old friend.
"Alice!" Bella screamed and ran to me for a hug. I stood in shock and relaxed my arms.
"I saw you die. I saw you fall off a cliff and then my vision went blank. Bella, I thought you had died." I managed to say, trying to recover from my shock. Bella's expression changed from happiness to confusion trying to figure out what had happened.
"Alice", Bella smiled, " I was cliff-diving. I realize it wasn't the best decision..," Bella continued.
"The best decision? You fell off a cliff! You could have died! You—" I stopped when I smelled the repugnant scent of dog. "Bella who are you with?"
"Just Jake. Jake from the Quiluete tribe". Bella responded. "Oh, Alice, Jake is a werewolf", Bella explained timidly waiting for another scolding.
"You are with a werewolf? Really, Bella? Anything else?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
The smell grew stronger as Jake walked in through the front door and his face contorted into a sneer upon seeing me.
"What are you doing here?" Jake demanded, wedging himself between me and Bella.
"Jake, it's fine. Alice is my friend". She went on to explain why I had come, my vision, and my fear for her life.
I froze, my body tense. I could sense a vision approaching.
Edward. In Italy, in a grand marble room. The Volturi.
"Edward, we have denied your request. You are so young, so talented. We welcome you to join us. You have a chance to begin a new life here, a fresh start", the robed vampire offered soothingly.
Edward's face had not changed expression. He merely shook his head. His grim and lifeless eyes, pointed towards the floor, never once met the robed figure.
He stood, turned around and began walking out of the room.
"Alice, Alice, what is it?" Bella questioned, eager and fascinated at my visions.
"It was Edward. He's in Volterra. I think he asked them to kill him". I said no more and saw Bella's expression and tears jump to her eyes.
"W-w-what? Why?" She screamed
"He thinks you're dead. He's overcome with guilt and this as his only resort. Bella, I'm so sorry." Every decision Edward seemed to make ended in such pain. It was awful knowing he felt like he needed to end his life. My brother, my wonderful and agonized brother wanted to die. He needed his family, he needed us.
My eyes glazed over as Edward once again appeared in my head.
The eyes of a young girl widening as she saw Edward's shining skin in the bright sun…
Edward running to the middle of a crowd, stopping, and running again
Edward throwing cars in plain view of a festival.
The look of horror on my face only made Bella's tears increase. He was going to force the Volturi to kill him, by any means necessary.
"Bella, Edward is going to kill himself. We need to go. We-we need to stop him." I stuttered and watched the wretched expression reach Bella's face. My brother would soon be dead if we did not stop him.
The phone suddenly rang and Jake quickly picked it up. "He's not here. He's at her funeral". Jake responded harshly and put the phone down.
"Who was that?" Bella demanded.
"The bloodsucker."
My visions replayed in my head, only this time more clear. He had made a decision. He was going through with it.
"Jake, you idiot! How could you!" Bella screamed, trying to slap him as he held her hands back.
"Do you not remember how much pain he put you through? That he left you in the forest for dead? Do you know how hard it was to watch you go through that, Bella?" Jake yelled and Bella's stopped trying to attack him.
"Bella, we need to leave now! He's never going to believe that you are alive unless he sees you. Please, we need to go."
Bella nodded curtly and grabbed her jacket.
"Bella, please stay. Don't do this. Don't go." Jake pleaded with her as we followed us out the door and onto the porch.
"Jake, he's going to die. I can't live with myself knowing I could have stopped this. Don't make me choose", she pleaded as she closed the car door.
Jake stared at Bella with such a dejected look, it was plain to see he loved her. But we had no time to spare. We needed to save Edward.
