Disclaimer: I do not own The World Ends With You or any of its properties.
Notes: This was written forever ago as a response to a prompt on tumblr. After deciding to update my FF.N account with something, I decided to have a trial run with this.
The Bullet in the Blood
"You know, for someone who trusts me, you do seem to watch me awfully closely. Or are you staring at me for some other reason, Neku?"
This time, the look sent his way was filled with derision. It was a little after two in the afternoon, and while any other café would be filled with customers, WildKat was—as it always was—empty. Neku was behind the counter, illegally holding a part-time job, and Joshua, as per his custom, was seated on top of the counter by the espresso machine.
"I wouldn't stare at you if you'd get off the counter. Don't you have somewhere to be?" Neku grumbled, as he finished screwing the cap onto a fresh canister of whipped cream. Joshua shrugged.
"Not particularly. I want Mr H to look at my phone. Isn't he supposed to be in?"
"He stepped out. I'm watching WildKat until then. I can have him call you when he gets back."
"No need. I don't mind spending the afternoon with you." Joshua smirked as more tension coiled its way into Neku's shoulders. "After all, that's what friends do, isn't it, partner?"
"We aren't partners," Neku said shortly, and though they hadn't beeped, he walked over to check the timers on the coffee pots. Joshua put on a look of mock hurt.
"You still refer to Shiki Misaki and Daisukenojo Bito as your partners, don't you?"
"No, I refer to them as my friends."
"And we aren't friends?"
". . . We are." Neku had hesitated before he said it, and he cast another surreptitious look at Joshua over his shoulder. Joshua's lip curled, and he flipped his phone open and closed in his hand.
"There's another one of those looks. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were afraid of me."
"It's a good thing you know better, then." Neku walked over food case to replace a few muffins that had been sold earlier, and Joshua watched him do so, still flipping the phone open and closed in his hand. He didn't need ESP to be able to read Neku. Any second now, Neku would follow the statement up. Any second now . . . "You know, you did shoot me. Twice. You can't exactly blame me for wanting to keep an eye on you when you're around." And there it was.
"Ah, so you don't trust me, then. I'm hurt." Joshua tapped a finger against his chin. "I seem to remember Beat attacking you more than once. Do you level the same mistrust at him?"
"Beat was only doing what he had to in order to save Rhyme, and no, it's not mistrust." Neku shut the door to the food case with a little more force than necessary. "I trust you, it's just—"
"This doesn't seem like trust to me. That is, unless your definition of trust involves spying, in which case I think Shiki has a right to know. Stalking your significant other is one of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship, Neku. Really, you should know better."
"I'm not stalking Shiki!" Neku's furious glare was finally turned completely in Joshua's direction, but despite his anger, Joshua reminded as casual as ever on the counter. "Just because I want to make sure you're not going to pull a gun on me doesn't mean I'm stalking my friends!"
"Why would I do that?" Joshua asked, and he raised an eyebrow. Neku said nothing, but his glower didn't falter. "I decided not to destroy Shibuya, didn't I? The Game is over. Well—that Game is over, anyway."
"How should I know?" Neku demanded, and he swiped one of the cleaning rags off the counter, wiping up the melted water near the ice box. "Why did you decide to shoot me in the first place?"
"Didn't we already go over that?" Joshua asked, and he saw Neku lock his jaw. "You had the highest Imagination of anyone in Shibuya, which meant I needed to use you as my proxy. After that, it was to decide whether or not to erase Shibuya and start anew. Come now, Neku, I know you can't possibly be so slow as to forget that already."
"I didn't forget. I got it. I got it the first time. I just—"
"Just what? Enjoy rehashing old stories?" Joshua heaved a long, suffering sigh. "You need to find a new hobby, then. That one is very dull."
"I just don't get how you could do something like that and then act like nothing happened!" Neku burst out, and he threw the rag back down on the counter, once again turning to glare heatedly at Joshua. Joshua tilted his head.
"Act like nothing happened? I think I've owned up to it quite enough, don't you? I did just summarize it."
"You know what I mean! Stop acting like a son of a—!" Neku shut his mouth with an audible snap of his teeth, and took a few deep, tense breaths through them. Finally, in a voice of forced calm, he said, "Every time you come around, you act just like you did during that entire week: like an aggravating, self-absorbed dick."
"Thank you."
"You talk about what happened like it's no big deal. Like you didn't shoot me twice, like you didn't put all of us through that, like you're not even—!" Once again, Neku cut himself off just before he started shouting, and it took him a minute before he was able to say, "Like you're not even sorry."
A beat of silence passed before Joshua said, "Do I have something to feel sorry for?"
A look of incredulity crossed Neku's face. "Excuse me?"
"I did what I did in order to save Shibuya—or destroy it, I suppose, given the potential outcome of that Game." Joshua shrugged. "You were a necessary casualty, both times. I understand that you're rather high-strung and that things like this can be upsetting for you—especially given that even now you still tend to be rather focused on yourself rather than the well-being of others—but it's something that had to happen nonetheless. I see nothing to apologize for."
"I—you—!" Neku made an odd strangling motion in front of him, his fingers opening before curling into fists. After a few moments of a visible struggle for his words, he exploded, "You killed me! In cold blood! More than once!"
"Yes," Joshua said, with the air of explaining shapes to a two year old. "We have been over this, many times."
"I trusted you!"
"And?"
"'And?' What the hell do you think, 'and'?!" Neku wasn't bothering to keep his voice down now, and it shook along with the rest of his body. "And you don't do something like that to someone who trusts you, you two-faced bastard! You don't earn someone's trust just to turn around and murder them!"
"Technically, one of those murders—the only one that counted, really—happened before you and I officially met, and therefore before you came to trust me," Joshua pointed out.
"Like that matters! You—"
"—did what I had to do." All traces of a smirk left Joshua's face as he lost the last few shreds of his amusement. He sat up straighter on the counter, and something in his countenance must have changed significantly, for though the ire didn't fade entirely from Neku's posture, some of the challenge did. He seemed wary now—defensive. "I thought you came to realize over the course of the Game that the world does not revolve around you. You are one person, Neku. You are only one human being in this city, and a rather insignificant one at that. You could die again today and there are very few who would bat their eyes."
"I know that," Neku snapped. "But I still—"
"Still what?" Joshua lifted his chin a little, looking down at Neku. "Still feel angry over the fact that I used you to play the Game? Still feel as though you're owed an apology, as though your safety and comfort should have been considered over the existence of everyone else in Shibuya?"
"That's not—"
"It is no one's fault but your own that you trusted me, or that you felt as though that trust would save and protect you." Joshua's voice was cold, now, and it had the desired effect; Neku looked as though a bucket of ice water had just been dumped over his head. "People live their lives primarily for their own benefit. Even those that derive joy from helping others are still doing it for that sense of joy, to fulfill their desire for it. No one is entirely selfless, and no matter how much you may trust someone—no matter how much you may care for them, and they for you—if push comes to shove, they will stab you in the back. They may feel guilty over it, and may even come to regret it later, but they will still do it. It's human nature."
"That isn't true," Neku said quietly. "There are some people—not everyone is like that, Joshua. Not everyone is like you."
"No? Well, I suppose that is for you to find out, then, isn't it?" Joshua asked, and his lip curled again, though it held as little warmth as the chuckle that accompanied it. "Either way, rest assured that I have no plans to shoot you again any time soon. I'm content with Shibuya as it is now, for the moment. If that changes later, I'll be sure to let you know."
"Before or after you put a bullet in my brain?" Neku asked sarcastically. Joshua's smirk grew into a grin.
"Let's keep this Game spoiler-free, shall we?"
