A/N- This is a rewritten version (I've labeled the first False Insanity: A) If you've read False Insanity: A, and you're worried this one will be just like that one and you will ultimately be reading the same story... DON'T BE. I went very wrong with the first, and I'm planning on exercising the right with this :3
This is a KaZe and Rido/Ichiru story (I AM NOW DUBBING THEM RICHIRU) Richiru (;}) won't occur for a very long time (and I do mean very; Zero isn't going to spend three chapters in the hospital; he's spending A LOT of chapters in the hospital... Hopefully?), and when Richiru (AhhhhHHH I lOvE it) does occur, it will be minimal and Ichiru is going to be the kickass sick fuck like I love him to be -3- Rido won't know what's hit him by the last chapter.
Please enjoy, and dropping a review my way would be very much appreciated ^^ (Let's make a goal: Reviewers 1-10 get a brownie and a gold star ;3 Be some good noodles, make SpongeBob proud!)
Something went wrong, Zero thought as he was practically carried down a sterile white hallway. Something went very, very, wrong during his therapy session with Yuki Cross. He couldn't remember what, though, and that bothered him.
Unfortunately, there wasn't much Zero could do about it. Irrational fear and his inner demons had control; all he could do was sit back and watch through cloudy windows. If he was screaming, he wasn't aware. If he was fighting or resisting, he'd feel it soon enough. When the adrenaline wore off, the telltale aches and pains would confirm any attempts at resistance.
He hated the way things sounded and felt when he relapsed. How everything seemed heavier and thicker, but another part of him loved giving up this control. Zero didn't have to worry when demons did the work for him, and the consequences for patients who acted out were far from severe.
A day or two in isolation, maybe a session with Doctor Kuran... The session seemed more promising then being holed up in another empty white room, though, despite the chill that settled at the thought.
"... so much trouble..."
Zero gasped as a newer, deeper, voice sliced through his thoughts, completely lacking the frenzied emotion in the nurses who held him. Seconds later the sharp sting of a needle sprang from his arm, leaving Zero tense as he waited for the inevitable knockout.
Instead, he collapsed against the nurse who had the strongest grip, but never sank into what a normal sedative threw at him. Zero felt the sting in his arm more clearly, however, as he sank back into his body. It ached of course, resisting guards and nurses could do that to a guy, and he would no doubt have bruises around his biceps and waist.
"Was anyone there when this happened?"
Kuran...
Zero almost groaned when he met the familiar mismatched gaze. He liked the brown eye more, he decided a bit lazily. The blue one was too cold for his liking.
And, sometimes, that brown eye would melt into a deeper crimson, which, however unlikely as that actually was, never failed to keep Zero focused and alert as he waited for it.
Despite his interest in the brunette's eyes, Zero absolutely hated the man. The way he studied him sometimes, with cold, clinical, interest, and the slightly sadistic streak he had noticed on more than one occasion made his lip curl in distaste and his skin crawl. Then again, every employee in the institution made Zero sick; they were all unprofessional, as if they hardly knew what they were doing, and if they didn't fear the patients, they mistreated them.
Yuki had been Zero's only therapist who hadn't fallen into either one of those categories, but he knew, just by the look on the doctor's face, he had blown any chances of future sessions with her.
Zero accepted this fact easily enough; as a high maintenance patient, he didn't have much of a voice when the good doctors made their decision.
He really wished he had one when he was left in Rido Kuran's hands. He watched his previous nurses walk away and disappear around a corner, taking with them his security blanket.
"What have you done this time, Zero?" the older man asked.
"I was hoping you could tell me," Zero replied a bit dryly, wincing when cold fingers wrapped around his upper arm and steered him towards a very familiar door. Whatever had been pumped into his arm wouldn't allow him to keep Rido's pace, however, so he ended up stumbling twice and weaving dangerously in his given space.
He felt a bit dizzy and very much in his own skin, leaving him longing for his previous detachment.
"I'm growing tired of these visits," Rido snapped as he released Zero to unlock the heavy door. Unlike the other doors in the hallway, which were either stainless steel and locked with a keypad or the classic wood of a therapist or guard, Rido's door was very thick and liberally padded.
Zero was sure it was soundproof, too. If a patient lost it in Rido's room and tried to run to the door, it would hurt and the resounding thud wouldn't be heard on the other side.
He cringed at the memory.
"Scold me for my poor behavior then send me off then," Zero muttered after following Rido in and trying to ignore the final click of the door. He wasn't entirely sure if it had been locked or not, and never had been. The initial sound of the door closing could easily hide another click of a lock.
The amused glance Rido threw at him squelched the idea of a lecture, and sent waves of anxiety through his body.
There were few ways Zero could get out of this, and little he could use as a weapon, as futile as that would be, around Rido's work space. There were just two chairs seated in front of a desk, and to the right, behind a screen that was usually in place if Rido ever had meetings, was his equipment.
Zero shuddered and shoved those thoughts as far away as he could. Panicking would give Rido a reason to reacquaint him to his practice.
"Please, sit," Rido practically purred as he took a seat on his desk. He stretched his legs towards the chair on the left, so Zero promptly took a seat on the right. Nothing like good old fashioned teenage rebellion, as the say. And there's only so many things a psychotic patient can do to achieve that.
Zero shut his eyes and prayed pointlessly when Rido tied his wavy hair back. Not a good sign, and the man's deliberate actions all pointed towards Zero's immediate future on the right side of the room.
"Did you take your medication today, Zero?"
He cringed but nodded. The routine questions were as bad a sign as any. Certain procedures had to be followed before electrotherapy, probing, or any method for that matter. But Rido wasn't going to determine if he needed different medications or a different dosage, he was going to dig for answers Zero had shut out deliberately.
After all, Creedmore Institute wasn't exactly known for it's pristine treatment and handling of its patients. The small and scattered scars on his head were ports; protecting the holes in his skull necessary to allow a DBS. He may not have been to other hospitals, but he was pretty sure sticking wires into a patient's head for "research," without their consent, was illegal.
"Have you eaten today?"
Zero wondered if 'no' would bring a different result. He had always said yes in the past, and had always ended up snugly strapped to a padded table. If he said no would Rido be deterred or would he be forced to eat? Would he even be believed?
When he opened his eyes to respond, he knew his hesitation had simply given Rido the same answer as always.
"Don't," Zero hissed under his breath, hating the way he sounded; needy and desperate and scared.
Rido simply frowned and thought over his plea. "Do you know exactly why you lapsed with Doctor Cross?" he asked.
Zero nodded on impulse. It wouldn't be hard to make something up, and he could do it with ease. "Just an attack," he replied quickly, desperate to get out of the stuffy room and far away from the electrodes.
"Do you know why you had an attack?"
Vampires, he wants to know about the vampires, Zero thought, but kept this knowledge under wraps. As far as everyone in the damned institute knew, Zero had long since given up on that "fabricated memory." He was crazy, vampires didn't exist, and if that got him closer to escaping the sterile Hell he lived in, he'd believe it, too.
"Jane, she... She said something about my medicine the other day. About how it may not be strong enough... Yuki- Er, Doctor Cross... Her books weren't aligned correctly, either..." Zero mumbled as he met Rido's harsh gaze. "You can call her down, she'll tell you," he pressed. It wasn't a lie, but if Rido wanted to strap him down and zap him into oblivion, he would. There wasn't a single nurse, doctor, or guard that would dare argue with Rido Kuran.
Yuki would though. And if it meant lying about book placement, a horribly important thing to Zero, then she would.
But Jane fell heavily into the category that feared patients like Zero. He could tell; the way she always watched him and visibly shook when she brought him his medication for the day, or when she escorted him to the cafeteria for his meals. She always insisted that he needed more medication, always a higher dose, anything to knock him out.
Zero didn't blame her. While he hated what the medication did to his body, the way it could make him feel, without it he was a violent basket case.
Either way, the excuse seemed to drain Rido's energy, and with a sigh he pressed a small red button on the edge of his desk. Zero relaxed for a moment then, relief washing over him like a wave.
"I'll be having a talk with Jane later," Rido mumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
Zero was far too happy to be excused to even worry about how that conversation would go. Not very well, he predicted, but he had just bought himself maybe one more day of peace and silence.
Once security shut the door to his room, Zero got to work. He started from the left, checking his small bookshelf for any books out of order or if they were more or less than four inches away from the edge. Jane must have been on duty, because his bed sheets had been left folded neatly on the dresser by his small bed, his own responsibility to take care of.
There hadn't been a nurse stupid enough to make his bed for him since his third year, when he'd started developing the meticulous habits. Zero believed it was part of the contract; don't touch the bed sheets unless you're washing them.
Zero didn't even want them washed by someone else, but he had been forced to accept the fact that he didn't have the leeway to do his own laundry. He had to settle with making the bed himself.
And so he did; crisp corners and straight edges.
As he moved to the adjacent bathroom, he paused and took a deep breath before entering. Jane could never get his medication in the right order, and she didn't bother to measure the distance between each bottle.
Ignoring his reflection in the mirror, he opened the medicine cabinet and began to mechanically arrange the bottles. Starting from the bottom, the six bottles he had went in alphabetical order, each spaced four inches apart.
It wasn't that hard, but Jane would never give into one of his many quirks. Zero believed she did it on purpose just to get to him, to prevent him from getting truly better.
As if manifested by thought, his door creaked open and the nurse walked in with a tray of food he'd never be able to stomach. As Zero wandered back into his room, Jane sat it on the bed and edged towards the door.
"You're like a dog," he snapped while glaring at the food. Jane started but said nothing, only offering a grim smile. A smile that screamed "what are you gonna do about it?" His fingers itched to get around her neck and show her exactly what he wanted to do about it. "You do something wrong then shy away, ashamed..." he mumbled.
"I'm not the one sedated and shoved into isolation every other week," Jane countered coolly, her smile cold as ice.
Zero growled, but choked on the sound in surprise and covered his mouth with a gasp.
Jane's face mimicked his horror, and she was out of the room in a heartbeat, door slamming behind her.
I just growled, he thought to himself, heart pounding away against his ribs.
The worst part of this was the inevitable appointment he'd be having with Rido. Fingering the scar over his temple, he shuddered and for once Zero was able to ignore the misplaced food tray for longer than four seconds. Thanks to Jane, by tomorrow afternoon he'd have wires coming out of his brain and electrodes taped all over his body.
Not to mention a totally new therapist with totally different ways. He'd had several before, but Yuki was the only one who had even attempted to make her office, his environment, more comfortable for him. He doubted he'd have another therapist like her again.
With an enraged scream, Zero hurled the tray of food across his pristine room, stomach churning and vision blurring. His blood roared in his ears and panic clouded his judgement.
He couldn't handle Rido.
He couldn't handle a new therapist.
He needed order and control.
His books, his bed, and his medicine gave him that, but even Jane had taken that away from him.
Vampires had taken that away from him. They'd taken everything away from him.
