I've finally finished this story! After two years haha. I've added and changed things throughout it, so if you've read it before, just forget about that and start at the beginning. I've also updated my other story "Broken Bad" tonight, but that was just to fix errors, whereas this one has had a full overhaul.
This story is set after Ozymandias and before Felina, and it focusses on Skyler, Marie, Flynn and Holly.
….
Nobody spoke for the rest of the night.
Ramey left around midnight, the APD detectives soon after, instructing the two uniformed officers to stay. They took turns standing by the door and moving about the house, looking through the windows to see if they could glimpse the great Heisenberg returning home.
It was a moot point, since their police car was parked outside, and they knew he wouldn't be back anyway, but they had to do something.
Marie remained on the sofa facing forward, crying silently, stopping, then starting again and continuing intermittently throughout the night. Skyler looked at her a handful of times, her mind grappling for something, anything to say to her sister and then, having failed, turning back to the baby clinging to her neck, and kissing her hair, stroking her back and rocking her to sleep. Holly's little fists were balled in Skyler's hair, and Skyler had never felt the child grip so strongly.
Flynn was the only one who had spoken. First in disbelief, then in anger and then, when replies to his questions didn't come, in hurt confusion.
"I don't understand," he said again, and then fell silent.
Hours passed.
A lone bird in the back garden signalled the coming of morning. There was a grey light outside, grey and cold. Flynn's head lolled back on the sofa, snatching a few moments of sleep, before he awoke cold. He looked to his left and right to see that his mother and aunt hadn't moved, but his aunt was now bunched forward, gripping her hands together. "Are you cold, Aunt Marie?" he asked. She looked at him, but didn't reply. He pulled the rug from off the back of the sofa, folded it in half and wrapped it around her. She grabbed it and pulled it tight.
Flynn stood up to go to the bathroom. Skyler looked at her sister again, the same expression of shock, fear and horror still on her face, and tears in her eyes. Marie didn't look back.
Flynn emerged from his parents' bedroom and stood at the end of the hallway for a long time before he began to walk slowly along it. One of the APD officers was standing in the kitchen. After another long pause, Flynn began to walk towards him.
"W-what happens now?" he asked the man.
The officer looked at his partner and back at the boy. "Well," he said. "Now, we look for your father. There's a lot of officers out there looking. APD, DEA, they're all looking. We will find him."
"What about my uncle Hank?"
"They're looking for him too."
Flynn stepped into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out some sliced cheese and putting it on the island counter. "Has…anybody heard anything?" he asked, moving around the kitchen and trying to look nonchalant, hoping the officer couldn't hear his heart pounding.
The officer didn't reply.
"I mean, can't you ask them?" Flynn pressed. "Can you...r-radio them and ask for an update?"
The officer looked at his partner and pulled his phone out of his pocket, stepping out of the kitchen as he dialled.
"Sir, this is Fernandez. No change here." The officer slid open the door to the back yard and stepped through it.
Flynn made two cheese sandwiches and put them under the grill, then he looked up at his mother and aunt and began to make another two. "Do you guys want something to eat?" he asked. "Mom?"
Skyler looked up, her expression still unchanged. She shook her head slowly. "No, thank you, honey," she said. All she really wanted was a cigarette.
"Aunt Marie?"
Marie's head turned to look at her sister for the first time in several hours. For the first time since she had yelled, "What did he say? What did he say about Hank?" after Walt had hung up the phone. "What did he say?" she had yelled, and her sister had said nothing, but the answer was there in her eyes.
Flynn busied himself with the food, looking at the time and wondering whether it was still too early to call Lewis.
Skyler closed her eyes and hugged Holly close, weighing up her psychological need to never let the child out of her sight again, and her physiological need for nicotine. She breathed in and out, deciding to wait until Flynn had sat back down so that she could give the baby to him instead of Marie. A shock of fear rushed through her as she thought of the future, of being thrown into prison and Marie taking Holly and never giving her back.
Marie looked at her, trying to understand. Seeing the fear and the love for her children. Trying to fathom why. If it was for the children, maybe she could understand. She'd do anything for those kids too. But they'd now been hurt irrevocably and it was all the fault of their parents. The fault of Skyler, who could have stopped this at any time. Skyler, who'd chosen a sociopathic murderer over her own sister. How could either of them have got it so wrong?
Officer Fernandez stepped back into the room. "Nothing to report, son," he said kindly. "But they are still looking and I assure you, they will be found." He turned to his partner, who was looking out the front window. "Turner, can you see 'em?" he asked.
"Just pulled up," said Turner.
"Mrs White, there's now a surveillance car outside your house. It's going to stay there for a while. The officers inside it are under instructions to look, not approach, so we'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't approach them unless it's an emergency. If it's an emergency, go ahead. You also have the phone numbers for the agents looking after your case and if your husband makes any attempt to contact you, you must call them straight away. There is now a tap on your landline phone, and the DEA is arranging the same for the cell phones of all three of you." He looked around. "This is for your own protection in case he contacts you, do you understand? And if you see or remember something or if you have any concerns or questions, don't hesitate to call. And if at any time you feel that you may be in danger, or if you see Heisenberg or any of his associates approaching you, do not hesitate to call 911 - I mean do not pause, do not think about it, just call. The fine young man in the kitchen here did exactly the right thing yesterday when he called 911." He nodded at Flynn. "We are here to keep you and your children safe, Mrs White, do you understand? Do not hesitate to call us."
Skyler nodded. "Thank you."
"Alright, Officer Tyler and I are gonna head off now, but there are two other officers right outside, as I said."
Ever the good hostess, Skyler rose to see them out. Officer Fernandez remained where he stood, turning to look at her sister, who had bent forward again, looking at her hands. "Mrs Schrader," he said. "Can we give you a lift anywhere? Home, or…to a friend's house?"
Marie looked up, startled. Here, she thought. This was the only place she had ever come in times of trouble. The only person she had ever turned to was right here. But this time, she was the cause of it.
She shook her head, and the officers turned to leave. Adjusting her hold on Holly, Skyler opened the front door for them, thanking them for their trouble. "8:30 at the DEA, SAC Ramey said," said Officer Turner. "Don't forget. It is very much in your interest to go in."
"I'll be there," said Skyler as she closed the door behind them.
Flynn pushed a small plate of grilled cheese sandwiches into Marie's hands as he sat back down with his own larger plate. "You should have something to eat, Aunt Marie," he said. He held his own plate out to his mother. "You too, Mom," he said.
Skyler shook her head as she walked briskly to Holly's playpen, laying the still sleeping baby down as gently as she could, before running to the bathroom as fast as her legs would allow her to go whilst her mind still tried to keep them moving as slowly and calmly as possible so as not to worry her family. This was an automatic process which she rapidly realised now had no meaning, so she let it go halfway along the corridor and pounded through the bedroom and around to the bathroom, throwing herself down in front of the toilet as she began to retch.
It was more dry retching than vomiting, as she hadn't eaten anything since the salad sandwich she'd gulped down in her office yesterday while Walt had watched the register. She hadn't even finished it, she reflected, because Saul had arrived and her husband had told her another lie about needing to go and check something outside, leaving the register unattended.
She wanted to go back. How she wanted to go back. Not to then, though. Further. Back to when he told her they had to make the video. No, further. Back to when Hank had called her that fateful day. Hank. No. Not then. Back further. Back to when Fring had been trying to kill them? Why hadn't she just asked the DEA for help? But she couldn't, she was too deeply involved by then. So were Hank and Marie, because the drug money had been paying Hank's medical bills.
Skyler stood up, flushed the toilet and washed her face. When? she thought. Her hands shook as she took out a cigarette and unlatched the sliding door at the edge of the bedroom. When could I have stopped this?
She stepped outside and closed the door quietly, lighting the cigarette and sucking on it deeply.
Back to when she'd said she'd be the Danny. No, further back. Marie needed the money then and Skyler had wanted to give it to her clean. Further back. Before Hank was shot. Well before then. To when he'd first shown her the money, in an open sports bag on the living room floor? She should have taken it to the police. She knew where he kept it. That was the evidence that would have put a stop to all this. But instead, she'd just…held it. Looked at it, held it, and then….kept it.
Taking another deep drag of her cigarette, Skyler realised that her son was right. She was as bad as Walt. Flynn had called 911 without a moment's hesitation. Skyler didn't do that because she was as bad as Walt was. She was just as bad. And now because of her, Hank was dead.
She broke down, sliding down the glass and curling into a ball on the concrete, gasping and sobbing, alone.
