Kevin's class was seated around a long bank of tables in the art room, a wide array of materials laid out before them. The art teacher was standing at the head of the table, looking sour-faced and irritable.
'I've noticed that most of you kids seem to regard this double art period as an excuse to loll about and not do any work for two hours!' the teacher barked. 'Well, not today! Each of you is going to make a Valentine's card for someone you care about, and I am going to give you a mark out of ten in my mark book. Anyone who doesn't produce a card that I consider to be a true indication of their artistic abilities will be back here for detention on Friday afternoon. Is that clear?'
'Yes, Mrs Cheale,' chorused the class.
'Okay,' said Mrs Cheale, 'now get to work!'
As his classmates hurriedly started drawing and cutting on all sides, Kevin adopted an uncomfortable expression. He slipped off his stool and sloped up to Mrs Cheale.
'What do you want?' the teacher asked shortly.
'Mrs Cheale, I don't feel comfortable doing this activity,' said Kevin. 'Can't I just draw a picture of a dog instead?'
'For goodness' sake, Kevin, just make a Valentine's card!' said Mrs Cheale. 'I don't care who it's for – it doesn't matter if you don't have a girlfriend! Just pick someone in your family or something.'
'It's not that, exactly,' said Kevin. 'It's just I... I don't feel like this is a choice I want to make right now, and I'd rather draw a picture of a dog.'
'If you want to draw a dog,' Mrs Cheale snarled, 'do it on a Valentine's card! You can produce a whole series of dog-based Valentines if you want!'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Okay, that's exactly what I'll do.'
Eduardo was sitting at the breakfast bar in Carl and Beth's kitchen, scribbling in a notebook, while Carl stood irritably by and kept glancing at the clock on the wall.
'Okay,' said Eduardo, 'just a couple more questions.'
'I don't like these questions,' said Carl.
'It's good to talk about stuff,' said Eduardo. 'You should be more open, man.'
Carl scowled. 'What do you want to ask me? Quickly – I have to go to work.'
'Will you tell me about when you and Dad went to Puerto Rico in September 'eighty-nine – you know, for the hurricane relief?'
'That's not quick. And it's not relevant anyway – not if you're supposed to be writing some crap about the city.'
'I'm writing about the NYPD Hispanic Society. But I guess you don't know very much about that, do you?'
'You should talk to Jose Rodriguez,' said Carl. 'I think he's joined the Hispanic Society since he became an official informant. Or you could join yourself. When's that paper due – a couple of months? You could make it if you hurry.'
'Lo siento, no entiendo,' said Eduardo, concentrating on his notebook. 'I wish Dad was here – he'd tell me everything I need to know.'
Carl laughed dryly. 'If Dad was here, do you really think you'd be writing college papers?'
'Maybe,' Eduardo said airily.
'If he'd let you go to college, it'd be on the condition that you joined the NYPD Cadet Corps.'
'Oh, yeah – I remember when you had that idea. I never would've gotten in, though. I'd have failed the exercise test. When they told me to run, I'd have said no.'
'So what exactly are you gonna do with this urban studies bull, huh?'
'I have to pass before I do anything else,' said Eduardo, closing his notebook and getting to his feet. 'Maybe I will try to see Jose Rodriguez... if I can get hold of Hermione's Time Turner or something.'
'You could always sacrifice a few of your sessions with Kylie,' said Carl. 'Then you'd have plenty of time. Shouldn't you guys be cooling off by now, anyway? It's been over a year, for God's sakes!'
'I don't think there's any "should" about it, Carlos.'
'But you must be doing something differently now, right? It can't be exactly the same as when you brought her back from that wedding. I mean... how do you both keep each other interested?'
'I wouldn't answer that even if I could,' said Eduardo. 'Look, I thought you wanted to get to –'
'Today's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Do you think Beth wants me to do something for her?'
'How should I know? I'm not Beth. Why are you asking me this stuff? You never wanted anything from me before except rent. Look, if you guys are having some kind of problem, only you and Beth know –'
'That reminds me,' said Carl. 'Do you have any idea how much hot water you've been using lately? I'm gonna need another twenty dollars for the bill.'
'What? No way!' said Eduardo. 'I haven't been using any more hot water than usual.'
'Then how do you explain the bill I got this morning?'
'I wouldn't have to explain your bills if you got the place its own hot water tank! Are you gonna have these kinds of arguments with the next tenant too?'
'Look, just give me twenty dollars, Eddie.'
'Bite me.'
'It must be Kylie,' Carl persisted. 'Women spend a long time in the shower, don't they?'
'Kylie hasn't been using any more hot water than she did a year ago. The rates must have gone up.'
'Ah, so then I have to increase your rent anyway!'
'I'll talk about it with Beth later,' said Eduardo, beginning to make his way out of the room. 'She's always reasonable about this stuff.'
'A pushover, you mean,' said Carl, following Eduardo to the front door, and staying well within his personal space as he did so.
Eduardo turned in the doorway, and gave Carl a look. 'I think I just figured out how to fix your problem with Beth. Try not calling her names.'
'I didn't mean that,' said Carl. 'I meant that you shouldn't take advantage of her good nature. And who said we have a problem, anyway?'
'Isn't that what you were saying just now?'
'I never said anything about a problem.'
'Okay, well, good,' said Eduardo. 'Look, maybe Beth'd like it if you guys had the house to yourselves tomorrow night. If you want, Kevin could stay over with me after Buffy and Angel.'
'Why?' Carl barked. 'What have you heard?'
'Nothing. It's just that it's an opportunity if you want to do something for her. There's no reason why it has to be tonight, after all – this is really just another day.'
'Just another day, huh?' Carl said sceptically. 'So you're not planning anything special?'
'No more special than usual,' said Eduardo. 'Anyway, thanks for the help. Seriously.'
He waved his notebook at Carl, then made his way up to his apartment, where Kylie was dozing in his bed and in his jacket. When she heard the door open, she opened her eyes and greeted him with a warm smile and outstretched arms.
Kevin was sitting at the art table with an array of small, neat Valentine's cards in front of him, each with a colourful drawing of an animal on the front. No one else in the class had made more than two cards.
'Okay, now let's come back together for the plenary and see what we've all come up with,' said Mrs Cheale. 'Kevin, how many cards do you have there?'
'Six, Mrs Cheale,' Kevin replied.
'And you've drawn a dog on each of them?' said Mrs Cheale.
'Yes,' said Kevin.
'One of them looks more like a cat,' Ella remarked.
'Yes, one of them is a cat,' Kevin admitted. 'It's for someone who has a cat.'
'Who exactly are they for, Kevin?' asked Mrs Cheale.
'Six people who I think of as my closest friends and family,' said Kevin. 'I've written the names inside the cards in bubble letters, look, and I've done a little pneumonic for each one.'
'Would you care to read one of your pneumonics to us, Kevin?' said Mrs Cheale.
'Um... I'd rather not read them out loud, if you don't mind,' said Kevin. 'You could come over here and read them in your head if you want, Mrs Cheale.'
Mrs Cheale walked over to where Kevin was sitting and looked inside three of his cards.
'I'm giving you ten out of ten,' she announced. 'Well done, Kevin. Now, who else has come up with something that's worth looking at?'
Lucy and Jandro were walking along the corridor outside the art room. Kevin ran up behind them and put an arm around each of their shoulders, holding a Valentine's card in each hand.
'Don't go rushing off before you've seen your cards, guys,' he grinned at them.
'So, we're members of the lucky six, huh?' Lucy grinned back at him. 'What an honour.'
'I have to admit, I was kinda hoping...' said Jandro. 'But I wasn't expecting it, Kev.'
'Of course you both made the cut,' said Kevin. 'Go ahead and read them, then.'
'What kind of dog is this?' said Lucy, examining her card.
'It's a little shih tzu,' said Kevin.
'Charming,' Lucy laughed. 'Okay, let's see what it says inside. Likeable? Unselfish? Creative? Yes! Oh, thanks Kev.'
She gave him a quick hug and put the card in her bag, while Jandro examined the picture on his.
'Is this a chihuahua?' he asked.
'It sure is,' Kevin grinned. 'Go on, open it!'
'Jauntily, Affably Nice – Dude's Really Okay,' Jandro read out. 'Thanks, Kev – you're really okay too.'
Jandro pocketed his card using one arm and hugged Kevin with the other, then they all traipsed off to their next lesson.
It was the end of the school day. Kids were streaming from the main entrance and some were hanging around on the steps outside, including Martin and Phoebe, who were bashfully exchanging Valentines as they leant against the railing. Kevin was just emerging onto the steps when a shout came to his ears.
'Kev, wait up!'
He turned around to see Michael running up to him at quite a pace.
'Hi, Mike,' said Kevin. 'What's going on?'
'I want to talk to you about those Valentine's cards you made,' said Michael.
'Oh, I see,' said Kevin. 'Look, I didn't make one for you because I thought you wouldn't want to get a Valentine from another boy.'
'That's okay – you were right,' said Michael. 'But the fact is, Kev, I do want you to make one for me – one that I can give to Ella, with the dog and the little poem and everything.'
'Um, well... don't you think it'd be better if you made it yourself?' said Kevin.
'I can't draw and I can't write love messages!' said Michael. 'But you can, Kev. Make one for me tonight and bring it to school tomorrow... please. You've already done so much to help me impress Ella – just one more little favour, huh?'
'Didn't you make her a Valentine in art class?' Kevin suddenly thought to ask.
'Yeah, I did,' said Michael, 'but it was totally crap and I didn't give it to her. Come on, Kev; be a pal.'
'Well... okay,' said Kevin. 'What kind of dog does she like best?'
'Um... she really likes that movie with the black-and-white spotted ones that almost get turned into a coat by that crazy lady.'
'Dalmatians, okay. I'll see what I can do.'
'Mom, I made you a Valentine's card,' Kevin announced, as he sauntered into the living room with his offering held out before him. 'I made them for all my closest friends and family, and this is yours.'
Beth put down her sewing, smiled at her son, and took the Valentine's card.
'Oh, honey, what a lovely Saint Bernard,' she said.
'Look inside,' Kevin encouraged her.
'Best Ever Total Heroine,' Beth read out. 'How clever, sweetheart!'
She rose to her feet, hugged Kevin tightly for about five seconds, then went to put the card on top of the TV.
'I'll leave a space here and we can put your dad's card next to it,' said Beth.
'Dad's card?' said Kevin, looking slightly awkward.
'You mean you didn't make him one?' said Beth. 'Oh, honey, he'll be so hurt! I'll have to put mine in the trash before he gets home.'
'No, don't do that,' said Kevin. 'I'll make him one this evening – I have another one to do anyway. I'll just go up and give Eduardo and Kylie theirs first, okay? Oh, and I have to drop one in the mailbox at the end of the street too.'
'Okay, sweetheart,' said Beth. 'Do you know what you're going to write in your dad's card?'
'Cruel And Really Lame,' said Kevin, then he adopted a mischievous grin and added, 'Oh, Sure!'
'Kevin, I know you're not really going to write that,' Beth said sternly.
'You're right; I'm not,' said Kevin, smiling sheepishly. 'I'll think of something when I get back.'
'Is this a chihuahua, man?' said Eduardo, as he examined the front of his Valentine's card.
'Yes, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin.
'And mine has a picture of Pagan,' said Kylie, smiling. 'It's a pretty good likeness, Kev.'
'Thanks,' said Kevin. 'Now look and see what I've written inside.'
Eduardo and Kylie opened their cards in unison and read their pneumonics.
'Easygoing Dad-based Uncle, Always Really Does Okay,' Eduardo read out. 'Why am I dad-based, dude?'
'You're my uncle because you're my dad's brother,' Kevin explained, 'so you're a dad-based uncle.'
'Oh yeah, I guess I am,' Eduardo laughed. 'That's really cool, Kev. What does yours say, Ky?'
Kylie had adopted an expression of confusion and slight worry. Kevin's mouth dropped open in alarm.
'Oh, Kylie!' he said. 'I'm sorry, I meant to explain before I gave it to you. That's not what I want to do to you myself – it's what I think Uncle Eduardo wants to do to you, and I'm just saying I'm happy that it makes you both happy... that's all, I swear!'
'Well, that's a relief,' Kylie laughed. 'Don't worry, Kev – it's really clever.'
'What on earth does it say, Ky?' Eduardo asked.
'Kiss Your Lips In Ecstasy,' said Kylie.
Eduardo laughed, and slapped Kevin on the back. Kevin grinned.
'Thanks, Kev,' said Kylie, putting her arms around him. 'You're a real sweetie.'
Kevin smiled, and patted her on the back in a slightly awkward way. As they drew apart, Kylie's face took on a shocked expression.
'Oh my God, you're taller than me!' she exclaimed in alarm. 'It's finally official – I'm smaller than a twelve-year-old boy!'
'Well, I'm wearing shoes and you're not, don't forget,' said Kevin, 'plus it's only four months 'til I turn thirteen, so...'
'I'll only be up to your chest by then, no matter how many shoes I'm wearing!' said Kylie.
'Don't worry about it, Ky,' said Eduardo, moving towards her and pulling her into his arms. 'You might be small, but you're perfectly proportioned.'
'So anyway, I'd better be going, I guess,' said Kevin, averting his gaze. 'See you tomorrow night, Uncle Eduardo... right?'
'You bet,' said Eduardo, letting go of Kylie in order to show Kevin to the door. 'I know I complain about Buffy, but I still like it really.'
'Yeah, well,' said Kevin, 'it's not as good as it used to be. I'm actually enjoying Angel more. It's too bad Doyle's gone, though – they're all just Buffy cast-offs now that Wesley's replaced him. But I guess we can talk about it in detail tomorrow, can't we? See ya.'
'Bye, Kev,' said Eduardo, and closed the door behind his nephew.
'Has Buffy really gotten that much worse?' asked Kylie.
'Well, no, not all the time,' said Eduardo. 'The problem is that lately they've been doing a lot with the boyfriend character, and he's annoying. But you don't want all the details – I'll just discuss it with Kevin tomorrow. It'll make a nice change from talking about other people's relationship issues. When he knocked on the door, I was really afraid he wanted advice about a girl or something.'
'Really?' said Kylie. 'Why?'
'Because people keep asking me about that stuff! Well... just Roland and Carlos, I guess. But that's two too many – I mean, what the hell are they asking me for?'
'Probably because they can see how happy you're making me. It's a compliment, really.'
'Yeah, well... maybe. But I don't know what to tell them, because you're not T'Keyah and you're not Beth.'
'No, I'm not,' said Kylie. 'I have to admit, I sometimes find Beth hard to understand, no matter how much I like her. Did Carl really ask for your advice about their relationship?'
'Well,' said Eduardo, 'he kind of did. But he can't really expect me to know what to do about anything that's going on in a marriage of fifteen years, can he? I mean, I don't know the way back to the days when you couldn't find him without also finding Beth walking around in a towel or something... if there is a way back.'
'Is that what you told him?'
'I tried,' said Eduardo, 'but he slammed the brakes on.'
Kylie smiled. 'Slammed the brakes on, huh?'
'Yeah, so I just ended up offering to take Kevin off their hands all night tomorrow.'
'Well, that could work. Thank God for Buffy Night. It's the only reason I'm more or less keeping up with my studies. You're a bad influence on me, you know.'
'Hey,' said Eduardo, grabbing hold of her again. 'Can I help it if I'm irresistible?'
'Kind of. Like when Pagan makes himself extra cute to get attention... and I always fall for both of you.' So saying, she began caressing his upper body. 'When the hell do you study, anyway?'
'I don't know. Before Buffy and when you're in the bathroom, I guess. I'm so generous, I barely get a minute to myself, between you and Kevin.'
'Oh my God, that was so sweet of him to make us Valentine's cards,' said Kylie.
'Yeah. I really love that kid,' said Eduardo. 'And he's right, you know – I do like to kiss your lips in ecstasy.'
'You wanna do it now?' said Kylie. 'They are feeling kinda dry.'
'Then I'll be glad to moisten them for you,' Eduardo grinned.
Some while later, Eduardo was folding his bed back into its sofa form while Kylie stuffed sheets and pillows into the cupboard just outside the bathroom. He was wearing a full set of clothes, whereas she was wrapped in a skimpy bath towel. She was closing the cupboard when a loud and insistent knocking at the front door reverberated through the apartment, and sent the cupboard door rattling on its hinges.
'Three guesses who that is,' said Eduardo.
'Oh, let me get it!'
Eduardo smiled with amusement as Kylie ran sniggering across the room, flung the door wide and then stood there with a hand on either side of the frame, so that the towel's grip on her body looked rather precarious.
'Hi, Carl,' she said. Then she asked over her shoulder, 'Sweetie, can Carl come in – are you decent?'
'No need to worry about that,' said Eduardo. 'He's seen it all before.'
He was in full view of the doorway, giving the sofa-bed its final push, but Carl couldn't see his brother's fully-clothed form for looking at his feet. He only dared to look up when Kylie swept out of view, and Eduardo came to stand in front of him. Carl glared at him while Kylie gathered up her clothes and shut herself in the bathroom.
'She was in the shower for seventeen minutes,' said Eduardo. 'I've started keeping a record.'
'Don't be an idiot,' said Carl. 'Don't you have a problem with her answering the door like that?'
'That's her business,' said Eduardo. 'I'm not about to get possessive.'
Carl's frown deepened. 'Like I am with Beth – is that what you're saying?'
'What? No! Stop asking me about you and Beth – I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!'
'Does Kylie answer the door to Beth like that?'
'What? No... I don't think so. What does that have to do with anything?'
'Nothing,' said Carl. 'Look, I just came up to accept your offer to keep Kevin all night tomorrow.'
'Oh,' said Eduardo. 'Okay, great. I'll be glad to.'
'Good,' Carl said brusquely. 'So Kevin will come up here for the night, and, um...'
'And you'll do whatever you and Beth like to do together,' said Eduardo, trying to shut the door, but Carl's bulk was very much in the way.
'So,' said Carl, 'the usual stuff still works, right? Candles and flowers and... well,' he added, looking over Eduardo's shoulder, 'you don't have any of that stuff – what the hell are you using instead?'
'Carlos, this is Beth we're talking about,' said Eduardo. 'You know Beth.'
'Maybe... but some of her ideas seem to be changing. She might like different things now.'
'I'm still not gonna know the answers, though, am I?'
'Well...' Carl began, his eye falling on Kylie as she wandered out of the bathroom, now fully clothed. 'No. Why am I even talking to you about it, anyway? You're just a kid.'
With that, Carl turned and made his way stiffly down the stairs.
Beth looked up from her sewing and smiled at her husband as he entered the living room.
'Kevin made us both a Valentine's card, hon,' she said. 'They're on top of the TV.'
'What the hell is he doing making Valentine's cards for his parents?' said Carl. 'I thought he was about to turn thirteen, not three!'
'He also made them for several of his friends, plus Eduardo and Kylie,' said Beth. 'Don't you think it's sweet?'
'Sweet!' Carl spat, examining Beth's card with close scrutiny. 'Hmm, this is a pretty good picture of a sheepdog.'
'It's a Saint Bernard, Carl,' said Beth.
'Best Ever Total Heroine, huh?' said Carl. 'I wonder what he thinks of me...'
Carl swapped cards, and read out the pneumonic in his own.
'Cares About Real Life,' he recited. 'Yeah, well... I sure do. What kind of dog is this, anyway?'
'A police Alsatian, hon,' Beth said, and returned to her sewing.
'Um, Beth, listen,' said Carl, looking rather awkward and taking a long time over putting his card back on top of the television. 'Eddie offered to keep Kevin all night tomorrow, and I agreed. I guess no one's actually asked Kevin yet, but he'll be fine with it, so I thought maybe we could... I don't know, get some candles or something, and... have a nice dinner. I'll cook,' he added.
'Oh, honey, you don't have to cook,' said Beth.
'But I can't ask you to cook,' said Carl. 'It's no good planning for us to have a romantic evening if I turn around and say you have to cook the dinner – that would be unreasonable. I, um... I do try not to be unreasonable, you know.'
Beth smiled, put down her sewing and went to embrace her husband.
'You're not unreasonable,' she said. 'Not with me, anyway. Look, I really don't mind cooking.'
'But you cook every day! No, I'll do it. I can, um... roast a chicken. I think. I'll try to get off work early tomorrow and make us a nice romantic dinner, okay?'
'Well,' said Beth, 'if you're sure...'
'Of course I'm sure. Don't you trust me?'
'Oh, honey, of course I do. I think it's a great idea. Maybe we could talk about our feelings as well.'
'Our feelings? Really? You wanna talk about those?'
'Yes,' said Beth. 'We haven't done that for a long time.'
'No, I guess not,' said Carl. 'Okay, maybe that's not a bad idea.'
On the way into school the next morning, Kevin fell into step beside Michael.
'Hey, Mike,' he said. 'I've got the card for Ella.'
'What did you put inside?' asked Michael.
'Eternal Love, Luxuriant Angel.'
'Yes, that'll do. Drop it in her locker for me, okay? It's in that big bank of dark blue ones, number eight.'
'Don't you want to sign it first?' asked Kevin.
'I don't want to spoil your fancy colouring and stuff,' said Michael. 'You take care of it.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'I'll go do that right now, then.'
'Thanks, Kev,' said Michael.
Kevin ran off down the corridor, passing Martin and Phoebe on the way; they were holding hands as they walked along, and both looked very happy with the world in general. Michael watched Kevin disappear around the corner, then he headed off in a different direction.
