Disclaimer: Characters, except for original ones, do not belong to me.
Notes: This is an AU story I started a while back, before there was even Clexa. I've been back and forth about posting it, but in the end, it feels like a good fit for them.
For those who read my Doccubus fic, "Frances' End", my sincere apologies for not posting for a long time. My external drive crashed and I lost the entire story, including my notes, then work got in the way. I will have to rewrite the whole thing again and eventually, it will be up again.
Chapter 1
Present day
"I need you to be less scary."
Lexa Woods didn't bother looking up from her laptop. "I'm working here."
"Come on, Lexa. Try? For me?"
Lexa leaned back to look at her editor and friend, Melanie Brody, who was now seated with her long legs crossed and golden hair tied in a messy bun.
"I wasn't trying to be scary." Lexa sighed.
"You can be...intimidating sometimes, especially to new recruits."
It was true, Lexa had been told enough times. And maybe, she enjoyed making the new pups squirm. Just a little. After all, being a journalist was not an easy job.
"Those kids needed to toughen up. If they are scared of me, what will they do when they have to interview some asshole corrupt politician or murderous crime lord, huh? I'm just preparing them for what lies ahead."
"Must you be so dramatic?" Melanie asked with a hint of a smile.
"Always." Lexa smirked.
Melanie threw her hands in the air in defeat. "I give up. Do it your way but if they quit-"
"If they quit, they were never right for the job in the first place." Lexa jumped in.
"Why do I put up with you?"
"Because I'm your best reporter and you need me to bring in all the big stories."
"Have I talked to you about your arrogance?"
"Why bother? I'll be too arrogant to listen." Lexa winked.
Melanie rolled her eyes and placed a printed copy of Lexa's latest story on her desk. "Ok, serious business."
"What do you think?"
"Good as usual. Detailed and well-researched with a clear push for action."
Lexa cocked a brow. She had known Melanie for nearly 12 years. They had an interesting, and some would say, complicated relationship. Friends first, lovers next and after the demise of their romance, a professional relationship. She knew Melanie enough to know she was holding something back. "But?"
"What makes you think there's a 'but'?
"Because I know you."
Melanie smiled and leaned forward. "This piece feels very personal."
Lexa turned away. Melanie's words had threw her off. So determined was she to tell this story that she didn't stop to think what it meant to her. Maybe she simply didn't allow herself to connect the dots.
When Lexa didn't reply, Melanie said, "I can't help but notice the similarities to Lee's case."
Lexa fixed her sight on the city beyond the tinted glass of her 30th floor office. So much chaos, so alive. She inhaled deeply and decided to be honest. "I didn't want to dwell on the similarities but I guess you're right, it is personal. The family deserves to know why this young girl died, they deserve to know who were the people responsible."
Melanie reached over and placed her hand on Lexa's. "I know. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, don't worry."
Assured, Melanie changed tone. "Now, about tonight."
Lexa immediately groaned. "Do I really have to?"
"You promised!" Melanie reminded her. "What's the worse that could happen? You don't like her, you don't have to call her. If you like her, great! You might even get laid. Trust me, she's hot and she thinks you're hot. She reads your articles religiously."
"You're pimping me out to our readers now?"
Melanie gripped Lexa by her shoulders. "Come on, do this for me. I've been dying to go on a date with Carol. Both of us have been so busy that we couldn't find the time until now. It just happens that her dear friend came for an unexpected visit. Carol is a nice person, she doesn't want to leave Marie alone on her first night in LA and I don't want to postpone the date again. Please? It'll be fun, I promise."
Lexa poked a finger at Melanie's chest. "Fine, but you owe me. Big time."
Melanie grinned. "Thank you! Thank you! You won't regret this."
Sensing eyes on them, Lexa lowered her voice. "A sense of decorum please, my dear editor?"
"Right."
At least Melanie had the sense to look sheepish. Lexa chuckled and stood up. "Alright, I'm going to head off and I'll pick you up at seven."
A wave and Lexa was off. She had just about reach the elevator when her mobile phone rang. Seeing the flashing name on her screen, she greeted cheerfully, "Hey mom!"
"Lexa...I…," Mae Woods said haltingly. "I have something to tell you."
Lexa was immediately alarmed by the graveness in her mother's voice. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know how to tell you."
"Mom, what happened? Are you alright? Is something wrong with Ed?"
"No, no, we're fine. Oh, this is terrible."
"Mom, just tell me. What's wrong?" Lexa asked impatiently.
A few seconds of silence followed before Mae said, "You need to come home. It's Stacy."
Lexa knew she was being a crappy date. Marie was fun, engaging, smart and pretty with sparkling blue eyes. She was the perfect date but it was hard to concentrate on anything when her head was a jumbled mess.
"Stacy's gone, Lexa. She was killed in an accident last night. It was terrible. Clarke must be devastated, poor girl. Their daughter is only five."
Her mother's words played in a loop, leaving her spinning like a leaf in the wind. The hours since the call passed in a daze as Lexa tried to wrap her head around the news.
The past crawled out of the dark to haunt her. Lexa could still see them so clearly as if it was only yesterday.
Painted the color of cream, sitting under the protective shade of white ash trees, the single-storey house rested quietly away from prying eyes. Untamed honeysuckle vines climbed the wooden fences, flanking the moss covered driveway, as the grass in the garden grew wild, concealing the bottom of the swing. It was there where Stacy used to sit, arms resting on her knees, a frown on her face and eyes searching in the afternoon heat.
At the sound of approaching footsteps, Stacy jumped to her feet. Together, the four of them - Lee, Clarke, Stacy and herself - would race down the narrow two lane street. Their slippers pounding the ground, trying to keep time with the furious beats of their hearts. They dipped their feet in the cool waters of the lake, chatting away. They sat leaning on each other as the shadows grew long. Under the orange sky, they said their goodbyes with promises of another lazy afternoon when a new day dawns.
When they weren't looking, books, boys, girls and the complications of life took away their lazy afternoons. Those days were now no more than memories, to be relived through browned photographs and in the wasted minutes of a day.
Inevitably, Clarke Griffin sprang into her mind. They were so happy and in love once. They said they would grow old and wrinkly together and it was a promise Lexa had believed in. She had every intention to make it a reality. Funny how life could change in a blink of the eye.
Lexa barely registered the conversation happening around her until she felt a tap on her arm. She turned to see Melanie staring at her with concern.
"I'm ok," Lexa mouthed. Feeling close to being overwhelmed, she stood up. "Can you excuse me for a minute? I need to make a quick call...work."
Lexa was out the door before anyone could say anything. Out on the street, she stood watching the passing cars and people walking by. Seeing a guy smoking at a corner, she approached him.
"Hi, can I bum one from you?"
The tip glowed a cherry red as she inhaled the bitter smoke into her lungs. She watched the smoke curling in front of her face as she blew out a puff.
"I thought you quit smoking," someone called out.
Without turning around, Lexa asked, "What are you doing out here, Mel?"
"Checking on you" Melanie said as she moved to stand next to Lexa.
"Go on back, I'm fine."
"No, you're not." Melanie placed her hand on Lexa's back, rubbing gently. "What's wrong?"
Lexa shut her eyes tightly for a moment before replying," My mom called. Remember Stacy?"
"Yes, your best friend growing up."
Lexa drew in an urgent breath. "She was killed last night in a head-on collision with a truck. Fell asleep at the wheel, I was told, and swerved into the opposing lane. Died instantly."
Melissa drew her hand to her mouth in shock. "Oh my God, Lexa, I'm so sorry. This is horrible, what about Clarke and Ginny? God, I hope they were not in the car with her."
"No, thank God they weren't with her. Stacy was driving back from Chicago, she gave a talk at a seminar there." A beat. "The funeral is tomorrow afternoon."
"Are you going?"
Lexa sucked in the last of her cigarette, stubbing it out on the nearby trash can. Turning to Melanie, she shrugged. "I don't know."
Lexa watched as Melanie pursued her lips and dipped her head for a second. She prepared herself for the persuasion she knew was coming. Melanie didn't disappoint. "You should go. There's still time. Go book a flight online, you can fly early tomorrow morning and be there in time for the funeral. I know Mae will be happy to have you home again, and Clarke too. She could use all the support she could get."
Lexa smiled ruefully. "My mom will but I'm not sure about Clarke. The last time I saw her was that night at the hospital. I...I don't want to make things worse for her."
"Lexa, that was a long time ago."
"It's not something you forget. If you were her, would you have forgiven me?
"Yes, I would," Melanie said with absolute certainty. "You have to go easy on yourself. You were 18, and things were crazy. You did what you thought was right at the time."
Lexa ran both hands through her hair. She wanted to scream till she's hoarse and her veins popped. Nothing came, instead her throat tighten.
Her words came in a near whisper, "It's not fair. They were supposed to be happy together for the rest of their lives. Stacy should be there to watch her daughter grow up. She was supposed to give Clarke what I couldn't. That was the deal."
Melanie moved to hold her friend, but pulled back when Lexa shrunk away.
"I'm fine," Lexa insisted.
"Why don't I take you home?"
"No, I'm really fine. You go and enjoy your hot date with Carol."
"You're more important to me. I'll take you home, ok?"
Lexa smiled genuinely for the first time since Mae called. "I mean it, go back in and enjoy yourself. Thank you for the offer but I can take a cab."
"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you like this."
"You're not, I want some time alone. Just tell Marie I'm sorry, say I'm not feeling well or something."
Melanie didn't seem convinced, but didn't push the subject. "Ok, but call if you want company or need to talk. Any time, I'll be there."
"I will. Have I told I love you lately?" Lexa lightly bumped Melanie's arm with her fist.
"Not recently. About damn time you show me some love instead of spiking my blood pressure. You can be such a health hazard sometimes, Woods."
"Get lost already." Lexa jested.
Melanie turned serious. "Think about it? The funeral. I don't want you to regret not going later. It has been 12 years. It's time, don't you think?"
Lexa nodded. "Yea, I'll think about it."
"Good, remember call me if you need anything," Melanie said as she started backing away. "And lay off the cigarettes, took you forever to quit!"
"Stop nagging!" Lexa chuckled.
She remained on the sidewalk for a minute more. Maybe Melanie was right, it was time to go home. She pushed the thought aside as she turned on her heels and headed towards the nearest convenience store.
One pack of cigarettes would not hurt.
"I love the rain," Stacy used to say.
Stacy was fond of telling her wife and child about how she would sneak outside when drops started falling from the sky when she was a kid. Arms outstretched, head thrown back, round and round she would spin. The forming puddles soaking her bare feet with not a care in the world.
So, it was fitting that Clarke woke up this morning to grey skies. By the time they arrived at the church, it was pouring unforgivingly. Umbrellas stacked up neatly at the entrance of the church, the water dripping onto the tiled floor, and forming small puddles. Family and friends arrived half soaked, shuffling to their seats, careful not to slip on their wet shoes. Clarke could almost hear Stacy's cackle echoing in the vast hall of the church.
Stacy would have said it was good day for a funeral. The thought made Clarke smile.
She directed her gaze towards the front pew where her adopted sister, Raven sat with her daughter Ginny. It had taken them an hour to get Ginny ready for the funeral. How do you even begin to explain to a five-year old child that her mother was never coming back?
She had help from her mother and sister, but it shattered her already broken heart just the same. Ginny couldn't understand at first, asking one question after another, "Where did Mommy go? Why did she leave? Doesn't she love us anymore?"
When it finally sank in, Ginny broke into tears and refused to leave her room. Dr Abby Griffin, ever a woman of action, took charge. She sat with her granddaughter in the darkened room for houses, leaving Clarke and Raven free to arrange the funeral.
Ginny was sullen the whole morning, barely saying more than a few words. Clarke's heart squeezed painfully, she would do anything to make this easier for her child, but she was at a loss herself.
"Clarke," a familiar voice shook her from her thoughts.
She turned to see Mae Woods and her husband, Ed looking at her sympathetically.
Mae took Clarke's hands. "I'm so sorry for your loss. If there's anything, anything at all that we could do, just ask."
"Thank you, and thank you for coming despite the rain. I heard the roads in your neighborhood are flooded."
"It's nothing major. I'd come even if our house is five feet under water. I watched you girls grow up...you, Stacy, my Lexa and Lee, the four musketeers. I wish..." she trailed off.
Ed placed a comforting arm over his wife's shoulder. "Dear, let's find a seat."
Mae nodded and took a step forward, then halted. "Clarke, I told Lexa."
Clarke hitched a breath upon hearing the name as her already tattered emotions took another tumble. Composing herself, she asked, "Is-is she coming?"
"I don't know. She said she'll try," Mae said apologetically.
Clarke nodded with a feeble smile as the couple walked away.
She knew Lexa wasn't coming. Why would she? Apart from two congratulations cards Lexa sent for their wedding and Ginny's birth, she had made no attempts to contact them. Lexa had sent tickets for Mae and Ed to fly to LA for visits, but never once did she come back.
But, Clarke knew she had to be fair. She herself didn't make any effort to contact Lexa either. Lexa was a memory she had tucked away in the recesses of her heart, a memory too dangerous to remember.
Stacy had always regretted how things ended between the three of them. "Lexa will come home one day. I know she will," Stacy had said a couple of times.
Clarke didn't share her conviction. To her, Lexa Woods had left them all behind the night she took off all those years ago.
She could not see Lexa coming back, not even for the funeral of her former best friend.
Polis, 2000
When 14-year old Lexa set her mind on something, little would stand in her way. Not a home security system, a second-storey bedroom or a 13-year old girl named Clarke Griffin.
"I can't watch this," Stacy Mason said she she peeked through her fingers covering her eyes.
"Relax. At worst, she breaks her legs." Lee Woods leaned casually against the tree in the Griffin's backyard.
"Why aren't you more worried? She's your sister!"
Lee motioned towards the girl climbing the pipes before them. "Look at her, she's doing fine."
"You two back there, stop talking. I'm trying to concentrate," Lexa whisper-yelled as she stuck her foot in a small space between the pipe and the wall.
Lee pressed her finger against her lips, shushing, "See? No talking."
"God, you two are nuts," Stacy muttered, turning her attention back to Lexa with half closed eyes.
The two young girls watched as Lexa deftly made her way up to the targeted bedroom window. Stacy released a huge sigh of relief. Lee laughed at her.
Lexa peered into the dark room and saw the sleeping form on the bed. She tapped the window. When the figure didn't stir, she tapped harder, calling out, "Clarke, wake up!"
The sleeping girl rolled over slowly, eyes blinking rapidly to chase sleep away. Her eyes fell on the figure by the window. Instantly, Clarke yelped, almost falling from the bed.
"It's me, Lexa." She pressed her palms on the window, grinning away.
It took a moment for Clarke to compose herself. Glaring, she stormed to the window and lifted the latch. "What are you doing here? You scared me to death."
"I would ring the doorbell, but I don't think your mother would be happy to see me at this hour."
Clarke was about to retort when she realised Lexa was standing on the ledge, not more than five inches wide. "You're going to fall!"
"Ssshhhhhh," Lexa hushed. "Not so loud."
"How did you get up here?"
"I climbed," Lexa replied as if it was something she did every other day.
"How did you get pass the alarm?"
"Raven gave me the code in exchange for some firecrackers."
"You did not just give Raven explo-" Clarke paused to gather her thoughts. "My mother will you kill you dead, and then, she will kill me. That's if Raven doesn't kill us all by blowing up the house with your firecrackers first."
"Don't be so dramatic. I didn't give her enough to cause major damage. Now, come on, get changed."
"For what?"
"We're going to the lake for a swim."
"Now? It's past midnight."
"So?"
"So, people don't go swimming in the middle of the night."
"Says who?"
"Says sane, normal people."
"Oh come on, Clarke. You said the other day that you have always wanted to go swim in the lake at night. I'm just fulfilling your wish here. I even got those two goons to come along."
Clarke narrowed her eyes. "Which two goons?"
Lexa let go of one hand to gesture behind her. "See for yourself."
Clarke lurched forward, grabbing Lexa's free hand in alarm and hissed, "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
"I have freakishly small feet, they fit nicely on the ledge."
"I don't care. Just don't let go."
"Ok, ok." Titling her head to the side, Lexa said, "Guys, be nice and wave to Princess Buttercup here."
Clarke poked her head out of the window, rolling her eyes when she saw Lee hopping up and down, hands waving in the air while Stacy shook her head in disbelief.
"Lee, I have nothing to say to you. Stacy, I can't believe you're going along with this. You guys just broke into my house and this one here could fall to her death," Clarke said as loudly as she dared.
Stacy raised her hands. "They lied to me. They said you'll be waiting for us."
"I didn't lie. She's waiting for us, she just didn't know it yet," Lexa defended herself. Looking directly at Clarke, she smiled. "Say yes, come on. It'll be fun."
"No. I'll get into trouble."
"Your mother wouldn't have to know. Say yes."
"No!"
"Yes."
"I said, no."
"And I say, yes."
"Ok, get in here and we'll talk."
"No, you say yes and I'll go in."
"No, you come in first."
"Give me the answer I want to hear, then I'll go in."
"You are...impossible," Clarke growled.
They were interrupted by Stacy yelling, "For the love of God, Clarke, just say yes! You know she's not going to give up until you do!"
Lee immediately clamped her hand over her friend's mouth." Are you trying to wake everyone up?"
All four froze as they waited for the dreaded sound of footsteps. When none came, Lexa said, "Okay, I won't push you. If you don't want to come, I'll go."
Clarke studied her friend, this was too easy. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing, you said you don't want to go. I'm letting you off the hook."
"No, this is too easy."
"I can't win with you. When I pushed, you said I'm impossible and now I'm backing off, you think I'm up to something." Lexa groaned in frustration. Then, mellowing a little, she continued gently, "Listen, I really did do this for you. It's for you, if you don't want to go, then it's fine."
Clarke found her resistance weakening despite her best effort not to. "You did?"
'Yes. Remember, on Tuesday, we were at Stacy's? You said you would like to do something really crazy like go swim in the lake at midnight, but you never could because your mother would never let you?"
"Yea, I remember that."
Lexa shrugged. "I just thought you might enjoy this little excursion. I'm gonna go before Stacy drops dead from all the excitement."
As Lexa started to inch her way to the pipes, Clarke grabbed her arm. "Wait, maybe a swim is not such a bad idea. It is pretty hot tonight."
"Really?" Lexa's smile broadened.
"Yea, why not?" Clarke smiled back at her.
"Great, go get changed."
"I will but first, you get inside here. Right this minute," Clarke ordered.
Laughing out loud, Lexa bowed her head. "As you wish."
