This looks a lot like my other story, save me, that has been deleted for personal reasons, but it's very different. I had this ideas when I watched I movie and I decided to give it a try. This story starts a few months after 4X12, but there is a scene included in the episode that will be shown in later chapters. I hope you all enjoy and, please, REVIEW!

Spencer's POV

I wake up from another nightmare, as usual. The room is dark and the windows and doors are closed, making me feel like I'm in prison, which isn't a lie at all. No one is here besides me and I suddenly feel lonely, but I let it go, knowing there's nothing I can do. The loneliness isn't a surprise for me anymore, I feel it every day. I haven't spoken to anyone I know for about three months and I eventually just got used to the idea of never speaking to them again. My parents, my friends and Toby, my boyfriend (or should I say ex-boyfriend?) haven't talked to me since I had first been admitted to Radley, three months ago. Yes, I, Spencer Jill Hastings, have been admitted to a mental hospital. Again. It's no wonder they don't wanna talk to me or even look at me. They, like everyone in the small town of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, must think that I'm crazy. Even I think that I'm crazy, I just don't say it. I mean, why else would I be here if I wasn't at least a little bit crazy? This is a mental hospital, for God's sake.

I turn on my lamp, get up and try to get these thoughts out of my head, like the doctors always tell me, but it's no use. As I walk to the window and open it, revealing the dark blue sky, almost black and the beautiful stars, all I can think about is Toby. I miss him so much and my heart closes with fear at the thought of what could have happened to him while I am gone. If he got hurt or (I try to shake this thought) died, I would never forgive myself. But I don't know anything about him, I don't know how he's doing or if he misses me. I'm sure that he doesn't, since he didn't come to visit me.

As I watch the sky, I see a shooting star. Even though I'm not exactly a faithful person, I wish that I can go home soon and see everyone to make sure that they're okay. After I finish my wish, I close the window and go back to bed. After taking a look at my clock and seeing it is only three in the morning, I turn off my lamp and try to go back to sleep. This time, I don't have any dreams and I wake up again at nine, when the alarm rings. I turn it off with my eyes still closed and only open them when I hear the door opening. My nurse, Rachel, comes in holding a tray and her usual smile is on her face. The plate has fried eggs with bacon, a toast, a cup with orange juice, a cup with coffee and an apple. I eye the amount of food with disgust, suddenly feeling nauseous. I haven't eaten much since I got here, that's why I'm so thin. I just haven't had will to eat and when I ate, I usually threw up.

Rachel sees my face and she sights, before placing the tray on my nightstand.

"Come on, Spencer, eat something. You haven't eaten very well since you came here and you're so thin that you're going to disappear. Besides, I made the food myself today, so it is good." She said and smiled at me, encouraging me to eat. I sighed and grabbed the plate with eggs and bacon and the cup of coffee. I bit the egg and swallowed it slowly, while Rachel eyed me. I ate the rest of my breakfast with difficulty, but Rachel made it easier by talking to me like I was a normal person. After I had eaten almost everything, except for the toast, I declared that I was satisfied and she smiled at me before taking the tray from my lap and putting it back on my nightstand.

"You know, you're food is much better than the usual food. You should cook for me every day." I said, trying to make her happy.

"Thanks, Spence. I'll take to Carter about this." Carter was the cooker, he made everyone's meals. He didn't cook badly, but I never really liked his food.

After eating, I changed into my usual white "dress", which went down tom my knees and wasn't very tight and went to the living room, as they called it. There, all the patients played games or played instruments to make them feel like normal people, even thought we all knew that we weren't normal, or we wouldn't be here. I usually played the piano, since it was my favorite instrument and it reminded me of Toby, since he played the piano and his mother also played. Rachel guided me to the piano and I watched all the other girls that were in the room. There was a Japanese girl playing guess who. Her name was Diana and she was very nice, I often talked to her. The reason she was here was because she tried to kill herself after her boyfriend dumped her to be with her best friend. I didn't think that she should really be here, she never did something to harm others. I did, at least everyone said that I did and since I didn't remember what happened that night, I believed in what the police said. By Diana's side, was Marylyn, my archenemy. I never liked her because she was always reminding me that I would never get back home and calling me names. She hated me only because the nurses liked me better, since I was nice to them and never tried hurting them like she did. She glance at me angrily and I immediately adverted my eyes. I sat at the piano and started playing while Rachel watched me.

As soon as I started playing, most of the noises in the room stopped. It was usual, because the other girls liked hearing me play the piano. I played the same song that I had played the day that Toby and I went to visit Dr. Palmer. Again, my mind drifted back to him. I felt tears threatening to fall, but I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, so I just shrugged it off. I stayed in the room playing various songs until Dr. Connor called me and said that it was time for my session of the day. I sighed and got up, before walking towards his room. I went there every day to talk to him about that night, about my dreams and about anything that I wanted. He always listened to me and gave me advices and helped me remember what really happened that night, but we never figured this out. I entered the blue room, with a sofa and a comfortable chair where Dr. Connor was already sat, watching me with his shining eyes. I walked to the couch and sat, trying to avoid looking in his eyes.

"So, Spencer, what do you wanna talk about today?"

"I don't know." This was always my answer and I always let him chose what we were going to talk about. Deep inside, I thought that these sessions were useless and unhelpful, but I'd never have the courage to say it out loud.

"Okay. Have you had any dreams last night?" I knew that he was gonna ask about my dreams and I considered not telling him, but I had become a bad liar and I hoped that he could help me figure this out.

"Not dreams, nightmares. I always have nightmares."

"I know. But just think about it, if we can figure exactly what happened that night, I'm sure that won't have anymore nightmares. The only reason you have them is because something is missing." I sighed, but proceed to tell him about my nightmare.

"It was the same as always. I was walking towards the barn and suddenly it was on fire. Then suddenly, I heard a scream and I saw a face, which I still haven't figured out whose. The difference is that I saw someone else this time." He listened to me carefully while writing everything that I was saying on his small notebook. I didn't know why he always did that, I had told him this dream a million times.

"Really? Who did you see?"

"I saw Alison." I said and didn't specify who Alison was. Everyone knew who she was, even people that worked at Radley. I think the whole world knew about the girl that was brutally murdered, buried in her own backyard and found a year later. Her death was one of the reasons why Rosewood had suddenly became so popular.

"That's interesting. What did Alison do?"

"She was holding a knife, she was covered in blood. And she said…" I paused, trying to contain the sob that was about to escape my mouth. I didn't want to relive the horrible details of this nightmare, but I knew that it was the only way that I would find out the truth. "She said: 'Come on, Spence, you need to do it. No one's going to miss you. The world's gonna be better without you. I want you to join me.'" I started crying by the end of the sentence and Dr. Connor sent me a sad glance.

"What did you do after she said that?" He asked me after sighing and I noticed that his hands were shaking. I felt myself shaking too as I recorded the memory.

"I took the knife from her hand and lifted it up. I didn't want to do this, but she was right, the world would be much better without me. So I pointed it at my right wrist and cut it deeply. It hurt like hell, but eventually the pain decreased and I felt relief, so I cut my other wrist just as deeply. The world started to disappear and I felt myself dying, but I had never felt so alive. Then Alison held me and the dream ended." I was out of breath by the time that I finished and a look of terror and pity crossed Dr. Palmer's face. He kept writing down furiously for a few more minutes until he stopped abruptly and looked at me.

"So you're saying that you killed yourself because Alison told you to? In your dream."

"Yes. But I'm sure that's not true. I would never do something as stupid as suicide, at least I thought. Can I go now? My time is almost over."

"Before you go, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" I asked, afraid of what his answer would be.

"We, me and your nurse, have noticed how much you have improved since you were first admitted here. It is against our rules to let someone out, but I think that you deserve it, Spencer. You are different from the other girls, none of them are so determinate to figure the truth out and none of them have been as nice as you are to the nurses. So, we're giving you the choice of staying here or going back home." My jaw was on the ground by the end of his statement, so surprised I was. They wanted to let me go home! I could meet my friends and family again, and make sure they were all okay! I was so happy.

"Of course I want to go home." I answered shortly and Dr. Connor smiled.

"I thought that you'd say that. But after today's session, I think that you should stay here for a while longer."

"No, please, let me go home. I promise that I'll do anything you want!" He bit his pen, seeming to be thinking.

"Okay, we'll let you go tomorrow."

"Thank you, Dr. Connor! You're the best!" I got out of the couch and hugged him tightly. After that I went back tom my room as fast as I could, almost knocking Marylyn to the ground.

"Watch out, Slutty! Are you blind?" She screamed, but I ignored her completely. I got to my room two minutes later and started packing my few belongings and putting them on my yellow bag.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asked as she entered the room.

"I'm organizing my things." I replied shortly and kept putting things on the bag. First came my hairbrush and the two changes of clothes I had besides the one I was wearing and my pajamas. After that, came a few pictures that I had of me and Toby ands me and my friends. At last, came my shoes and the notebook with the drawings I made.

"So they let you go?" Rachel asked and I stopped organizing my things to smiled at her and nod my head. "That's sooo good! I'm so happy for you, Spence, you deserve that!" She hugged me and I hugged her back happily.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Rachel complained as she let me go and I saw tears leaving her eyes.

"I'm going to miss you too, but I promise that I'll come back to visit every week."

"You promise?" She asked and pouted.

"Yes."

"Okay. Now finish organizing your things while I tell Dr. Connor to call your parents and warn them that you're coming back home.'

"Okay." She smiled again and left. When she was gone, I picked the picture of my parents with me and Melissa that stood in my nightstand together with one of me and Toby. Did they even remember that I existed? Would they be happy that I was coming back or would they treat me like crap like they did all my life? I could only hope for the best. I could never imagine the troubles that going home was going to cause me. As I stood there, in my room in Radley, looking at that photo, I was obvious to what the future held for me. Just a hint: It wasn't good. In fact, it was much worse than being in Radley.

What did you think? Should I keep going? Why do you think Spencer went to Radley? It will take you a while, but you'll figure that out. For now, leave me your theories. Do you think Spencer's parents will be happy that she's coming back home? Why haven't they visited her? If you liked this, hated this or if you even read this, tell me. I want you to tell me everything that you're thinking. When I get as many reviews as you can get me, I'll update. I hope that I can get to at least 4. Hope you enjoyed this.