Hey guys! Lunamon810 here with... I don't even know what this is. This is because of Syliyn's Hunter X Slender video on youtube... Don't even take this seriously. Don't even try to give it constructive critism. This isn't how I write. This. This is crack. I just... I got really bored. And stressed. So I wrote this. For comic relief. And it worked. I feel better. So I feel like I should share it. Even though I shouldn't because it's stupid/plotless/pointless. But uh. I know some people who'll get a laugh outta it so why not... DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HUNTER X HUNTER.
No I didn't almost just put my youtube amv disclaimer what are you talking about. Go home reader you are drunk. Actually please go home. Don't read this. This is crack. My brain has been fried. I couldn't even remember the old guy's name so I legitimately just called him the old guy. Do not hate me if you read this.
"This... is the final phase?" Killua asked blankly, looking at the room. There were indents in the wall, a computer at each, a screen saying 'play' and 'instructions' displayed. They all looked at each other, and since the chairman nodded they all walked to the computers. Killua sat between Gitteracker and Gon, Kurapika to Gon's right, then Leorio. Hisoka was to Gitteracker's left, and then Hanzo, Pokkle, and the old guy.
When instructed they began, and a pulse started. "Whoever collects all eight pages and returns to the original point in the game, therefore beating the game, wins."
"So wait, the final phase is a game? That's no fun." Killua said, looking away from them. "This is for babies..."
As they started playing, they all got an eerie feeling. "You get three tries."
"Three? Why do we get three?"
"You'll see."
"AAAAAAAAAHH!" Hanzo suddenly screamed, and they all looked his way. A man with no face in a suit was on his screen, which then faded out. The number on a small device next to his computer screen switched to two.
"Haha, got one!" Leorio cheered, then screamed a second later when he turned around. His counter went down to two.
A few minutes later, Killua was smiling smugly to himself. "Three pages."
"You already have three pages? How?" Gon asked, and Killua shrugged.
"Guess I"m just good at this." He said, proud of himself. Then he turned around. "Shit!"
"Ah!" Gon jumped, having turned around to see the Slenderman. "Darn it..." He sat back down, hitting try again.
Pokkle sat over in his chair, bent over, focusing. He'd already one try. He had gathered four pages so far, and he was focused. He turned the corner inside the house and jumped up, knocking his chair back. The slenderman had been standing right around the corner. He sighed and sat back down, feeling his chances to get a hunter license slipping out from between his fingers.
"Jeeze, these kids are pretty intense into this game..." Menchi commented, looking at Satotz.
"You're right. I suppose it tests their focus, patience..."
"And... gaming skills?" Menchi said, looking at the chairman.
"Well, I have to have some fun with these phases~"
'NO! NO! NO!" Hanzo yelled, backing up and turning around on the game. "No I have eight pages! You're not taking me this time!" His counter was on one, he couldn't afford to lose.
"That's unfortunate." Kurapika said as the slenderman appeared on his screen, him being wedged between the slenderman and a wall. He sighed. One try left.
"SHOULDN'T I HAVE A KNIFE OR A SUITCASE OR SOMETHING ON ME!? I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WHO GOES OUT WITHOUT SOMETHING TO PROTECT HIMSELF, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE GOING TO BE OUT AT NIGHT! NOTHING IS SAFE AT NIGHT!" Leorio yelled as his counter went down to one.
"This thing doesn't seem like something you can just attack or fight, Leorio. There must be something in it we're not seeing." Kurapika said calmly. "Now be quiet, I need to focus."
"OHMYGOD!" Pokkle yelled, accidentally flipping back in his chair, having seen a white blotch on his screen. "I'M DONE! I QUIT! I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO BE A HUNTER ANYWAY!" Hanzo peeked around the corner, then looked down at Pokkle.
"Pokkle?"
"WHAT!?"
"That was just a tree." Hanzo said calmly, looking back at his own screen, and jumping, seeing he'd accidentally turned himself, looking at the slenderman.
"...Oh." Pokkle said, standing up and sitting his chair back up.
"Hmm... What do you think of this game?" Hisoka asked, losing his second counter. "Is it a good way to test someone's strengths as a hunter?"
"I'm not sure. It's... interesting." Gitteracker responded, able to speak with the pins in his jaw. Killua looked at him out of the corner of his eye.
"You sound familiar..." Gitteracker sighed and pulled out his pins, and Killua stopped dead.
"...I'm going back to playing the game now." He turned back towards his screen, forgetting what he was doing and turning a corner. His counter dropped to one.
"How many times have you seen the man?" Hisoka asked Illumi.
"Twice, but I got away once."
"Hey, why can't I just BUY these pages? These drawings are crap, I could give this guy better ones!"
"Leorio not everything is about money, now I said be quiet!" Kurapika scolded, losing his second try thanks to Leorio's ranting.
The old man sighed, standing up and walking away from the computer, having lost all of his tries. "I guess I'm just not cut out for this phase." He left the room.
"Ha-ha!" Gon cheered, fist-pumping. He'd collected all eight pages and made it back to his starting point, completing the game. "I'm a Hunter!"
"Turn left." Illumi said, looking at Killua.
"No."
"I said turn left."
"Not happening." Killua responded, still not looking at Illumi.
"Kil."
"I AM TURNING LEFT." Killua yelled, and sighed in relief seeing the slenderman wasn't there. He turned forward again, and there he was. "Damn it, Illumi!"
"Seems I've completed this phase." Hisoka said, smirking. He'd only lost the one try.
"GOT IT!" Pokkle cheered, having made it back as well.
"Victory!" Hanzo shouted a second after him.
"COULD YOU BE ANY LOUDER!?" Leorio yelled.
"Could you?" Kurapika asked sharply, before finally completing the game. "Alright, I'm done."
"Me too!" Leorio cheered.
Illumi looked at Hisoka. "I passed as well."
"Wait... So you mean... I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST!?" Killua shouted, standing up, furious. He looked at Illumi. "Illumi-"
"Go home, Kil."
"Yes sir." Killua said, slouching over and walking out.
Gon blinked. "Great. It's already time for the next arc... I wanted to get some lunch first." He sighed. "Oh well. Lets get this over with." He stood up and flipped Illumi over, breaking his arm, and looked at the chairman. "Are you sure he's disqualified? I mean, Illumi did tell him to turn left."
"He didn't have to obey. Nor did he have to turn back to where he'd been facing. Alright, lets get the lessons over with so you can go save him. Tell Kanary I said hi."
*is murdered by every serious writer on the planet for the pointlessness/plotlessness/fourth-wall-breakingnes s*
