Jayden's doing that thing he does again. That thing where he gets all super serious and puts on a brave face and does that fake little smile like Antonio can't see right through him. And Antonio gets it, he does, this weight Jayden carries around with him everywhere he goes. Or at least he thinks he does, most of the time. He just doesn't get why Jayden can't ever let it go, can't ever just be himself… especially around Antonio.
They're walking back from seeing a movie, an action flick that Antonio let Jayden pick. It's late, and he's tired, and that's when it's the hardest for him to fake it. Antonio doesn't know why he bothers at all.
So when he sees the mud puddle, he can't help it. It's perfect, he thinks with glee, and then he grabs Jayden's hand and drags him over, stomping his feet down into the puddle with a whoop of joy.
He looks up at Jayden, expecting, hoping, to see an enthusiastic smile… but his face just looks confused.
"You're going to get your jeans all dirty," Jayden tells him with a look.
"So?" Antonio wants to know, and he stomps in the puddle again for emphasis.
Jayden pulls his hand back, steps out of the way of the mud splatter.
Antonio stops stomping, lets his face fall so Jayden can see his disappointment. One of them might as well be honest about their emotions. "It's playing in a puddle. It's fun, Jayden."
Jayden shoves his hands in his pockets, puts on one of his indulging looks. "Go ahead, then."
"Well," Antonio says, squishing some of the mud under one of his shoes, "It's no fun by myself."
Jayden makes a face, one that clearly says 'no fair', but he doesn't move.
"What happened to you?" Antonio wonders aloud before he can stop himself.
"What?" Jayden asks, looking up from the mud with a confused expression.
"You never want to have any fun," Antonio says, stepping out of the mud puddle and shaking his shoes off. He barrels on, wondering if this is really his place to be prying. Because as close as they are-were, his mind whispers-Jayden can get pretty touchy about some things. He tries anyway. "You used to love getting dirty, and playing games, and playing hooky. Remember we used to play hide and seek with Ji in the farmers market for hours, until he started to panic that you'd been kidnapped by Nighlocks?"
Jayden's frown deepens. "He was so worried," he says sadly.
"You didn't care back then," Antonio argues. "It was just about how much fun we had. What happened to that little boy who used to blow raspberries on my cheeks? What happened to him?"
Jayden looks away, his cheeks going hollow as he grinds his jaw, and Antonio knows that he's pushed too far, that this isn't somewhere he's allowed to go. He's about to retract himself and make a joke when Jayden starts talking. "He grew up," Jayden says quietly, his voice soft with what might be hardened anger or miserable regret. "He became an orphan, and he was told he had to save the world so that his parents wouldn't have died in vain. He didn't get to play anymore games or have any more friends. He just grew up, Antonio, long before he was supposed to." And Jayden looks back over at him, and Antonio can see now that his face is filled with sadness. "I'm sorry I'm not him anymore. I'm sorry you spent so long searching just to be disappointed."
"Hey," Antonio says quickly, going towards Jayden. He reaches for him, let's his hand land over Jayden's heart. He can tell that Jayden has to fight the urge not to pull away. "I didn't say that. I'm not disappointed, especially not in you. That's not what I'm trying to say."
Jayden looks away, probably put off by the sudden closeness, or maybe he's trying to hide the watery sheen on his eyes. "Then why did you ask?"
"Because I want you to be happy," Antonio says without thinking, and Jayden lets out a puff of air, laughs a little and reaches up to wipe at his eyes. "I do," Antonio insists, "Even if it's only for a little while."
Jayden gives him a smile, and it's genuine, even though it's a little sad. It's fond too, like the look in his eyes, like somehow Antonio has just surprised him. "What if I don't know how?"
"You do," Antonio says with a shrug, and he moves his hand up to Jayden's shoulder, gives it a squeeze. "You've just forgotten. We can fix that, if you trust me."
Jayden's face is serious again, and he looks Antonio dead in the eye. "I trust you with my life."
"Yeah," Antonio agrees, wondering. "But do you trust me with your tickle spots?"
And he reaches over, right for Jayden's armpits, and makes sure to look at Jayden's face when he starts to tickle him, because his look of shock and mock betrayal is priceless. He instantly tries to squirm away, but Antonio holds fast, stumbles with him and blocks Jayden's feeble attempts to push his arms away. Antonio keeps tickling him, even when Jayden starts begging him to stop between laughter, because Antonio knows that sooner or later, instinct will kick in.
It does, and soon Jayden is reaching over to fight back, to tickle Antonio to get him to let up. Antonio lets himself laugh, stops tickling Jayden and throws his arms around his gasping friend.
Jayden's arms encircle his waist as he says, breathlessly, "You're terrible. And mean."
Antonio laughs right into Jayden's ear. "That's right, I'm a terribly meany-head. Say it!"
Jayden gives him a squeeze, and mumbles the words into Antonio's shoulder, his breath hot through Antonio's jacket. "You're a terrible meany-head."
"Phase one," Antonio tells him as he pulls away, cupping Jayden's face with both of his hands in triumph, "is complete."
It becomes Antonio's passion, trying to liberate Jayden. He tries to get at least one moment in every day where Jayden can feel like a kid, can be playful, can enjoy himself. He tries to make Jayden remember what it feels like to think like a kid, in every way he can.
And the little things work, for the most part, but today, Antonio has something big planned. Ginormous. So big, it's going to need a blindfold for full effect.
It's their night off from training, and he's made sure that none of the other rangers offer Jayden things to do. He wants it to be a secret, so he doesn't exactly tell them what he has planned. Just that Jayden needs it like a fish needs water.
They all look at him a little strangely, but agree.
So that evening, a little after four, Antonio sneaks up on Jayden, and wraps a blindfold around his eyes.
Jayden starts, yanks himself forward. "Stop, stop, stop!" Antonio insists, hauling him backwards in his seat so he can tie the blindfold.
"What are you doing?" Jayden asks, relaxing.
"We're going out," Antonio tells him happily. "And I'm not telling you where or why, so you are just going to have to trust me."
He ties the blindfold, and then reaches down for Jayden's hand. "You know I trust you," Jayden says cautiously. "But no more tickling."
"I would have an unfair advantage," Antonio agrees, yanking Jayden's hand so that he has to follow him. "Now come on, it's not far."
Antonio makes Jayden hold onto a lamp post while he buys the tickets, though he's sure the music is tipping him off by now. He leads him right up to the entrance before he agrees with Jayden's plea to remove the blindfold, and when he takes it off, he see's Jayden's face go silly.
Antonio follows his gaze, looks up at the giant illuminated sign that reads "Catastro's Amazing Circus Performers".
"We're going to the circus?" Jayden asks, his face betraying the skepticism in his voice.
"Yes," Antonio agrees, and he waits for an objection.
None come. "Let's get good seats," Jayden says casually, and he reaches down and grabs Antonio's hand as they fight the crowds.
Antonio gets them a big thing of cotton candy to share, and the circus, as promised, is amazing. It's filled with screaming kids, which is sort of what Antonio was going for. Jayden will be more likely to get into it if the atmosphere is right.
And is it ever. There's a real lion and a lion tamer, acrobats who do amazing feats, clowns which are surprisingly only a little scary, and plenty of laughter. And Antonio keeps checking on Jayden, keeps looking at his face to make sure this is okay, this is good, this is working. Because every little kid deserves to go to the circus, and Antonio is sure, absolutely positive, that Jayden has never been to one.
After the show, they stay in their seats, enjoy the remaining entertainers as the crowds start to file out.
"Everything okay?" Jayden asks, and Antonio looks over.
"Huh? Yeah, of course," he answers. "Why?"
Jayden shrugs. "You kept looking at me," Jayden says, glancing back over at the clown doing balloon animals, "Like you were afraid it was going over my head."
Antonio blushes. "Nah," he says, waving it off. "I was just enraptured by your pretty face. Come on, let's go get one!" He says quickly, and he stands and rushes over to the clown making the balloon animals, not entirely sure Jayden will follow.
To Antonio's surprise, he does. And he even smiles when he does, looking happy and comfortable. Not necessarily gleeful like the little kids around them, but at least… at ease. Which is something, Antonio thinks.
"What can I do you for?" The clown asks, and Antonio maybe has to bite down a vicious giggle to make his voice the right octave when he requests an octopus. "One eight legged friend coming right up!"
The clown crafts the balloons together with amazing skill, and he makes an octopus hat that Antonio can put on his head and wear, and he absolutely does. Unlike Jayden, he does it without a second though, like the kid that he still is.
"I'll take a Lion hat, please," Jayden tells the man a few moments later, when he gets to him.
"Predictable," Antonio accuses, and then Jayden just gives his octopus hat a pointed look. "Right."
Jayden doesn't put his hat on right away. They meander away from the clown and towards the exit, and it's not until they are outside, heading towards the street that Jayden stops and contemplates the hat. He stares at it for a long moment.
"Jayden?" Antonio asks cautiously, wondering what's going on behind Jayden's eyes.
But Jayden looks up, a little started, and then he grins, and pulls on the balloon hat. "How do I look?"
Antonio means it when he says, "Perfecto."
Jayden comes over to him, stands closer than he usually does. Which Antonio doesn't mind, likes even, but it's the unusualness that makes him note it. "Thank you," Jayden says quietly, looking down at his feet, "For trying so hard to make me happy."
Antonio smiles. "Is it working?"
Jayden meets his eyes. "Yes. But you don't have to," Jayden says, a bashful smile playing around his lips. "You make me happy. Just being with you is enough."
"Are you sure? Because I have lots of other tricks up my sleeve," Antonio jokes, and Jayden reaches over, puts his hand over Antonio's chest, over his heart.
"I'm sure." He confirms with a small nod. "Trust me."
And Jayden leans over, just close enough to brush his lips against Antonio's in an incredibly rare show of affection that Antonio wishes he could rewind and play over and over. Jayden doesn't back off right away, so Antonio chances it, presses just a little closer to see if Jayden will let him-
They pull apart when their balloon-hats make a loud squeaking noise as they rub up against each other, and after a moment of shared embarrassment between them, they burst into giggles.
They go for ice cream that week, along with the rest of the team. Mike and Kevin have a rather loud argument about the pros and cons of coffee ice cream, and Emily looks back at Antonio and rolls her eyes at them. By the time Mia has her German Chocolate Cake, and Emily has her Cake Batter, and Antonio is ordering his Cotton Candy, Jayden is putting his foot down and making Mike and Kevin behave.
Mike orders a large portion of Dark Chocolate Brownie Chunk, and Kevin gets Coffee, but he mixes it with Vanilla Bean, like that will settle his and Mike's argument.
Jayden spends a few moments considering before he comes away with Peanut Butter Crunch in a large waffle cone.
"I'd have taken you for a strawberry," Antonio says thoughtfully, spooning a helping of his Cotton Candy into his mouth.
Jayden looks over at him, ice cream smudged across his top lip as he pulls away from taking a bite of it. Antonio laughs, tries to stifle it. It's just too cute on Jayden.
Jayden looks at him, and Antonio can see the blush rising in his cheeks. Antonio expects him to wipe the ice cream mustache away, act embarrassed, check to see if the others have noticed… only he doesn't. Instead, he sticks a finger in his ice cream, and before Antonio can react in any way, smears Peanut Butter Crunch ice cream across Antonio's face.
Antonio's mouth falls open, and for a moment, he wonders what dimension he's been teleported into. Did Jayden Shiba, his Jayden Shiba, really just start an ice cream fight?
And then he thinks, yes, his Jayden Shiba. His. Most definitely.
Antonio laughs, takes his spoon and dips it in his own ice cream, and waves it menacingly back at Jayden, who veers away, laughing. Jayden ends up opening his mouth and having a taste of Antonio's ice cream, and Antonio takes a finger to the melted smear on his cheek. He tries again to get Jayden back, and the two of them quietly fight with their ice cream, trailing behind their friends.
"What are you guys doing?" Comes Mia's voice from ahead of them.
They pause in their antics, Antonio's spoon caught halfway to Jayden's hair, Jayden's hand holding Antonio's wrist to stop him. Mia's question draws the attention of the others.
"Nothing," Jayden answers quickly, and he and Antonio drop their hands. Only, his voice doesn't sound embarrassed, or ashamed, or guilty… it sounds… happy? Yes, Antonio decides, it sounds happy. Gleeful, though Jayden's trying to hide it.
Antonio can't keep the smile off his own face when he realizes just how childish they're being, and he takes his spoon while Jayden's distracted and smooshes it against his cheek.
It earns him a disapproving look, but he just laughs.
The others watch them, and then Mike takes a finger full of his ice cream and smashes it against Mia's cheek.
"Hey!" She calls immediately, and fights back.
Kevin steps out of the way of their scuffle, but Emily laughs, says, "Oh, no you don't," and shoves her ice cream cone into Kevin's nose.
And Jayden happily takes another bite of his ice cream cone, comes up with an ice cream mustache again.
"You are a bunch of children," Kevin says, looking like he's trying to sound stern, but unable to keep a smile off his face.
"Yes," Antonio agrees, and he takes his free arm and wraps it around Jayden's shoulders. "Yes we are," he decides, and he feels Jayden gently tilt his head against his for a brief moment, maybe in gratitude, maybe just out of love.
And then Jayden presses his ice creamed cheek firmly against Antonio's with a guilty giggle, and the ice cream war continues.
