A/N:
I don't normally write fanfictions for ongoing series, especially ones that aren't even done with the first season, but this pairing has all my YES. I couldn't resist. And guh, *_*. Sorry if they're a bit OOC, but I tried. These two seem to be changing slowly throughout the series, so it got to be a bit tricky characterizing them properly. And if you're looking for a point in Free! time where this takes place, I'd say... somewhere past the events of episode eight for sure. Or it could be possibly past nine. After episode ten, this doesn't fit anywhere.
And hey, hey! These characters belong to Kouji Ouji and Kyoto Animations. Obviously not mine since, guess what? This is a fanfiction. Yup.
So! Yes, enough rambling from me. Enjoy, please.
-Reddie
"I'm going swimming." Rin grunted in irritation, getting up and abandoning his English homework. Nitori, busy as well, dropped what he was doing and followed in concern.
"Senpai, wait up!"
As they walked, Nitori studied the upperclassman's expression, only finding it to be unreadable. Confusion and nostalgia inundated Rin's head. His mind swam in thoughts of impassive, wistful blue eyes, longing for the water like a long-lost lover. He heard himself, young and vivacious, saying "romantic". And those longing blue eyes shimmered in response.
"What the hell…" Rin muttered to himself, not loud enough for his roommate to hear.
He continued down the hall, past the pool room, past every room… towards the exit. Silly Nitori didn't notice Rin was heading outside until they were right in front of the exit.
"Umm, senpai?" Nitori tugged at the sleeve of Rin's jacket. The wine-haired teen turned to him with an unamused look. Sheepishly, his roommate asked, "Where are you going? The school pool's this way." The silver-haired teen pointed innocently behind them, trying to make the tone of his voice somehow persuasive enough to keep him from leaving. It was no use though.
"I don't want to swim there today." Rin stated bluntly. Nitori simply blinked then laughed a little.
"But it's so late, and it's raining. Where else will you swim?" his laughter was awkward, yearning for this to be some sort of strange joke, even though he knew it wasn't. Ever since Rin witnessed the Iwatobi boys' victory at the relay, he'd been acting strange. And here Nitori was, thinking just a few days ago that he'd finally get to see his roommate at ease, thinking that Rin would finally turn back into the cheerful kid he first saw in grade school.
Things had changed far too quickly, much to his dismay.
The victory against Haruka had Rin skyrocketing in joy. Then, before the wine-haired teen knew it, Nitori was standing behind him, watching the four leaping in celebration… and that was when Rin completely came undone. He plummeted into a sad distance, as though he'd somehow lost again. And he realized he had.
He realized, he'd lost something more than just a race with Haruka all those years ago.
Nitori didn't understand, but he wanted so badly to be able to. The silver-haired boy had never been one to enjoy watching other people struggle. He was constantly reaching out to help others, and most times, they would accept his help. Rin didn't want it though.
"I don't know. I'll find someplace." Rin replied, though he knew full well where he was going.
"Wait!" In vain, the younger offered, "If that's really what you want to do, won't you at least give me a second to get you an umbrella from the room?"
Guiltily, Rin looked down, then at the exit.
"Sorry." The elder muttered, taking off before Nitori could react.
Rin was trespassing, he knew, but he'd grown to care less about most things as of late. Scaling the elementary school wall carefully, he noticed a figure sitting beneath the tree. He narrowed his sights on the dark shadow, his head teeming with rage and distrust. It was much larger than a child, but it wasn't an adult on duty for sure. With a flash of lightning, he caught a glimpse of the figure but not the face. A gray hood hung heavily over the stranger's hair. He let out a soft, antagonistic hiss.
Who the fuck was it?
As he landed on the other side, the stranger made no movement. A soft sound, barely a snore, worked its way past the sitting figure's lips.
"Sleeping…" Rin muttered distastefully, believing the one under the tree was merely a lost-cause homeless seeking refuge. Now ignoring the stranger completely, he stripped himself of his clothing, revealing his skin to the cool night air and the drops of rain. He was left to swim in boxers, having come out to swim here on a whim.
Thinking it'd be a pain in the ass to deal with the tree refugee, he did not dive into the pool. He simply slid in, backed up to the wall, and pushed off.
He enjoyed swimming solely for the acceleration of movement. He could care less about the water. The chlorinated liquid was a merely a barrier for him to break through, to shatter faster with each stroke. And he liked the thought of excelling in this area, developing such skill to the point where he could achieve his and his late father's dream. He liked the idea of being able to crush numbers, to push down seconds like time was merely pliant mochi for him to pulverize.
Out of breath, he simply floated on his back through the water, squeezing the chlorine out of his eyes with tight blinks. Rain fell over skin that wasn't submerged.
Yet… training often left him empty and desiring for more, longing to be even better. At least, that's what he thought he was longing for. He was aware now, fully in touch with the cause of his dissatisfaction, despite having beaten his rival and old friend in a legitimate race.
Rin had alienated himself. He made himself a stranger to those he once cherished. So caught up in speeding towards his dream, he missed out on what came from taking a moment to slow down. He'd traded years of friendship for an Australian swimming school, which apparently hadn't done shit for his speed since Haruka had still been able to beat him that winter. A few days ago, right after he sneered that he would never swim with Haruka again, all he could taste was victory, like the sweet blood of prey. Now, all he could taste was a bitter pain that made his chest turn to stone inside.
It was agonizing to watch some blue-haired, half-assed butterfly swimmer take his place next to his childhood friends… friends who helped him win his last relay at this very school.
The memories came flooding back into Rin faster than he could handle, drowning him waves, currents that grew to heights of tsunamis, crashing around inside him. And between every flash of innocent elementary days, that smug little geek with his red-framed glasses reappeared, shouting Haruka's name at full volume. The butterflyer's figure and form was burned into Rin's head… he looked like he'd barely ever swam before, and that made Rin sick.
"That should've been me…" He hissed to himself, now aggressively practicing that stroke, his best stroke. He wanted to swim even faster, to be able to swim so fast that he could break through the barrier of time itself. He wanted the seconds to reverse to negatives in the hundred-millions, so that he could revisit the day he decided to go to Australia and convince his child self not to go. He wanted to go back so badly and change the present that it hurt like a harpoon through his heart.
The windows of time gone by, however, were invisible and unbreakable. He could spin as fast as he wanted to search behind him for the way back, but those efforts would be in vain. Five years were gone. His bonds had been broken. And he had been replaced.
His grudge had brought him to this. Rin just wanted Haruka to pay for the pain he felt when he first quit the sport. He wanted so badly for Haruka to bear the blame. But the heavy relationship between them now had been formed by the faults of two… Rin had to admit, pride was something very hard to swallow.
Yes, he and Haruka were undeniably different. They always had been. He didn't need a race, legitimate or otherwise, to prove that. The proof, the strain of tension between them now, was pain enough. And to think, once upon a time, that all Rin wanted was to wow a stoic black-haired boy, impress him beyond belief with his skill, make him smile at something other than water. That was the thought going through his head the winter of his defeat. That was the goal going through his head when they raced at Samezuka in the dark. That was the fantasy going through his head in the freestyle heat. He expected Haruka to come running up to him afterwards, praising Rin's superior ability, begging him not to go just yet. And then Haruka would be smiling in that fantasy when Rin complied to stay.
All those times, he didn't get what he wanted. Haruka's lack of acknowledgement felt cold, like water in the spring, but what else could Rin expect from him of all people? The dolphin boy had always been distant like that, no matter who was on the other end. He'd always been a hard one to read, and begrudgingly, he found it amazing that Makoto could distinguish Haruka's upset expression from his bored one. And, well, that was only because the two had spent the longest time together out of everyone in their circle. In fact, they'd spent too long a time together to be able to go any further, Rin supposed. Sure, Makoto was caring, and he was constantly keeping the dolphin boy out of trouble, but he had never imposed anything on Haruka. He knew the raven-haired teen's weaknesses and dislikes… and steered clear of them whenever possible. That was awfully one-sided in most respects, and so there was no way their dynamic could function beyond that.
He cast his gaze to the cherry tree, filled with memories, violated by the presence of the stranger hiding from the rain beneath its shade. It was leafed in green by the summer season, and it made him wish it had been spring instead, even if the water would've been a bit chillier than preferable. Cherry blossom petals definitely would've felt better against his skin than the icy raindrops falling on him now.
"A pool of cherry blossoms… where I could swim all alone…" Rin chuckled to himself, trying to imagine the silky bits of pale pink floating all around him. Faintly, he still found the idea of it enticing. Assuredly, under moonlight… it was nearly romantic, just missing one thing: "…all alone, with just Haru." Rin finished in a tender whisper, adding in a laugh louder than he intended.
He slapped a hand over his forehead, shaking his head with a smile. Wow, what the hell was he saying? The thought of some situation like that was incredibly ridiculous… yet, numbly, he ached for it the longer it lingered. He indulged in a fantasy of them here together, young again, sneaking in on a weekend during the spring. They would splash one another, circle each other in a playful waltz of their own, and then the petals would be strewn through their hair as a result of their activities. At that point, they'd get out and dry off, spending the rest of the day stroking the petals out. Rin could only imagine how it would've felt to brush his fingers through that smooth black hair, and how Haruka's fingers would've felt as they laced through his hair…
"All alone, with just Haru…" Rin repeated doggedly as he pushed himself out of the water, placing emphasis on the freestyle swimmer's name. He sat at the far edge, kicking his feet around in the water as he said it again, just because he could, "Haru, Haru, Haru."
The stranger stirred awake at the sound of his name, lifting up his hood and shaking out his half-dry black locks.
"What is it?" Haruka groaned sleepily, forgetting where he was. Rin went tense, sitting completely still in hopes that the stranger would pay him no mind. His eyes were locked on the figure's approaching movements. Rin felt the need to leave, but his limbs seemed to be frozen in place. Bearing his teeth, the shark boy hissed "shit" weakly. The stranger came up to him and knelt down to see Rin's face. And finally, weary blue eyes met surprised red.
That moment, as if the clouds above had planned this meeting, the rain cleared.
"…Hmph." Rin huffed, his limbs heavy and tired out from swimming. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing…" Haruka replied coolly, eyes still locked on Rin's. They did not shimmer or show emotion of any sort. They simply stared, waiting for something, like Rin owed him something. It should've been the other way around, Rin thought bitterly, his pride welling up. The red-eyed teen wanted the tables turned. He wanted Haru to be struggling for words, struggling to read his expression. It wasn't fair, and there was some rectifying to be done. The dolphin boy must've understood at least this much.
However, thoughts like that weren't easy to juggle with the feeling of longing, the yearning to claim back what should've been his. Rin felt a pull to two roads, the clear and arid versus the lively and marine. He'd known all along that the one with the least obstacles led to his dreams, but now, looking into those familiar blue eyes… he felt a tug of uncertainty in his chest. Would continuing along that road really be worth it?
The wine-haired teen drew his eyes away.
"I came here…" Rin forced a smile, grudgingly revealing his reasons, "to do some thinking." He was content to leave it at that.
And for a moment, nothing but the cicadas' songs filled the air between them. Haruka closed his eyes, and sighed.
"Me too." Before Rin could open his mouth to ask, Haruka beat him to the chase. "Out of curiosity, what exactly does your contemplation have to do with me?" Shortly, he again imagined petals in Haruka's hair.
Rin fought back a blush, "Who said I was having any thoughts about you?"
"You were calling out my name."
Defending his lie harder, he added, "What if I just felt like throwing a name out there for the hell of it?"
"…that just seems unlike you." Haruka merely replied, casting his gaze to the moon peering through the clouds. He shifted to sit beside Rin, but at a distance reasonable for strangers instead of friends. Their hands lay tightly at their sides, not looking to clasp anytime soon. The shark teen's chest iced over in the coldness of this distance. Briefly, the thought of young Makoto's hand in Haruka's crossed his mind, and he completely dismissed any meaning it could've held.
"Unlike me?" Rin laughed haughtily, "How would you be able to tell? If you're going off of how I used to be, you're dead wrong. I'm not the same person I was when I was twelve! We've been apart for…!" Rin trailed off, the twinge in his chest stopping him from finishing that statement. Switching gears, he cleared his throat and muttered, "Well… anyway, lucky guess." He cast a glance to Haruka, who was looking down at Rin's ankles in the water. The raven-haired teen seemed to be fighting the urge to dip his feet in too. That was odd, to say the least. Last Rin checked, Haruka's wanted nothing more than to "feel the water". There was definitely something off here too. Rin cleared his throat again, wondering why it was so dry suddenly, "So… what about you?"
"…I don't know." He shrugged. "And that's my problem."
"Heh." Rin smiled toothily, leaning back on his hands. "I don't get you."
Haruka elaborated, sounding slightly irked, "I don't know what I want to do… and I don't know where I'm headed." The blue-eyed boy's voice picked up slightly, "Rin, you know what you're after. I know your dream. And I know that you work hard for it. But, while you're battling your way through to get to it…" he moved closer, and with this, they let their eyes meet, "do you ever feel a need… to just break away… and be free?"
Rin's eyes flickered in response to the shimmer in Haruka's.
"Well, of course." Rin broke eye contact again, playing it off with a teasing smile, "It's only natural. It's an uphill struggle all the time, so, for sure, anyone's bound to get fed up with it. But then… there's either passion, or obsession. And you keep going."
"…which one was it for you?"
"Both, I think." Rin stretched his arms out in front of him for a moment. "And that's where you came into play." Instantly, he wasn't sure that he'd wanted those words to be out there. But, they were now, and he couldn't take them back.
"How exactly?" Rin remained silent, not wanting to answer anymore. He began to get up, but Haruka moved a hand to his, stopping him. "How?"
"I think you've known how." Rin spat. "You knew the obsession."
"So, what, did you want me to be dishonest," Haruka retorted, "and let you win? Because I don't think that would've gotten you anywhere." Gripping Rin's hand, Haruka exhaled raggedly, "Rin, I never expected what came next. I never expected it to hurt you. Because you're you! And… nothing ever seemed to stand in your way…" Haruka loosened his grip. The raven-haired teen added sadly, "not even friendship." This caused the wine-haired to teen to frown before starting right back up again.
"You're forgetting," Rin grasped Haruka's hand back, causing blue-eyes to meet with red once more, "that passion also played a part." They stood silent for a long moment, their sights steadily locked on each other. Rin tried to muster the will and the words to express his feelings. And that meant swallowing his pride. Finally, the wine-haired teen gave a beleaguered sigh, "I wanted so badly to impress you… that I lost you."
Astounded, Haruka murmured, "Rin…"
"I mean, for fuck's sake, the only things you ever react to are water and mackerel!" Rin tried to keep his voice down, but suddenly, too many things were rushing out of him, out of his control. "In all our photos… you don't smile. I wanted you to smile! I wanted emotion. I wanted to be the one… who could bring it out! I thought that one time, that, if I could beat you, you'd be so impressed with me… that…" Fingers trembling, another confession tumbled out instead, "As I swam, I was thinking… of just the two of us here together in the spring, in a pool of cherry blossoms. And now… I'm just wishing that I'd never left." Sharply, Rin growled, "we aren't friends anymore because I left. Now, not an hour goes by where I don't miss you and Makoto and Nagisa. And you fucking replaced me!" Tears stung the corners of his eyes, "Do you know how painful it is… to feel like an outsider watching my childhood friends replace me with that blue-haired geek?"
Swiftly, Haruka closed the last of the space between them and covered up Rin's mouth with his own. Their eyes remained open for moment, gazing, before the two teens simply let them flutter shut. And they felt themselves sinking into the warmth of it… sweetly, gently.
Parting for air, Haruka replied breathlessly, "For one thing, don't call Rei a geek. I won't take kindly to that. And, just so you know, he feels like an outsider as much as you do." He moved in to kiss Rin again shortly, drawing a soft noise from the back of the wine-haired boy's throat. "And for another thing, you were never replaced. You never lost me." Haruka's eyes were determined now, looking right into Rin's heart. "Through everything, I've always regarded you as my friend…" he hesitated, before going on to admit it, "…and I had always been hoping to patch things up between us because… I wanted us to become more someday."
"Haru…" Rin breathed. He drew closer, feeling shy for just a moment, and wrapped his arms around the dolphin teen. Then he placed a tentative kiss to Haruka's lips, causing the other to wrap his arms around the wine-haired teen's neck. It didn't take a second longer before the shark teen attacked the other's lips passionately, pouring in all of his yearning and pain and… newfound love. Haruka felt it, and he pushed back with just as much of his emotion. Then they relaxed, and simply moved their lips against one another's. It was a beautiful feeling, to sink into the kiss… because it felt wonderful and far better than drifting through the water all alone.
Eventually, Haruka walked with Rin back to Samezuka, courageously holding his hand all the way back. Rin was struck speechless, and even as they approached the entrance, where they could see Nitori waiting worriedly inside, he couldn't form words in his head. He didn't want to say goodbye yet, or ever again.
Finally, Haruka said, "I'll take you up on that… swimming in the spring. We could do it at my school sometime. The cherry blossoms fall into the pool there too." He pressed a kiss to the red-eyed teen's cheek, Nitori squawking in surprise from inside the building at the sight. Not even noticing the younger teen, Haruka added, "It sounds… romantic."
Rin smiled before throwing his arms around the other.
"See you." He whispered weakly.
Haruka embraced him back, "See you soon."
On that note, the blue-eyed teen departed. Rin entered the building nonchalantly, Nitori gaping at him.
Rin glared, "Don't even mention it." Then, patting the younger on the head, he sighed, "You didn't have to, but thanks for waiting. Come on. Let's go back to our room."
"O-Okay!" And as they began to walk, Nitori smiled softly, "Well… I'm glad that you and Nanase-san can get along now, senpai."
"I'm glad for that too, Nitori." Rin smiled back, "I'm glad for that too."
A/N:
Reviews are greatly appreciated. To everyone in the Free!dom and beyond, I bid you good day and good evening. :)
-Reddie
