I was startled from my sleep by the softest sound of whimpering to my left. Kendall's side of the bed. We were on tour and staying at this hotel instead of sleeping in the bus (thank God for a real bed), but Gustavo still wouldn't spring for two separate rooms so we could each have our own beds. It wasn't so bad, though. Kendall and I have shared beds before, and so have Carlos and James. Hell, there was one time my parents were gone for a week and the four of us curled up on their king size, tucked around each other to sleep through a storm. That was probably the best night's sleep I'd ever had.

Another whimper shook me from my thoughts, turning my attention to my bedmate. Kendall shifted positions, causing the whole bed to shiver a moment as he settled into a fetal position, curled with his back toward me, his spine a harsh curve under his sleep shirt. I reached over, placing a hand against his spine and feeling him shiver too violently for it to be the chill of the room, though his body temperature wasn't high so it couldn't have been fever chills. Kendall Knight was having a nightmare.

I curled my fingers into his shirt, unsure what to do as he let loose another whimpering sigh, his breath ragged. Whatever he was dreaming about had him really worked up. I could wake him, but I feared that would give him a worse scare than the nightmare itself. Sometimes it's just best to ride out a dream to your natural waking point, better for the heart. Except I couldn't just lie there and watch him shiver like that. The sounds of fear reverberated in my own chest, making me want to cry. He was really scared.

"Ken?" I pushed against his back softly, just the slightest bit of pressure against his spine. He shivered, but made no other motions or noises. I left my hand where it was against his back, waiting for him to move or wake up, but several moments passed with nothing.

I was about to let go, thinking the dream had passed, when he shuddered and rolled, trapping my hand under him as he laid flat on his back and screamed. The sound nearly broke my heart and I stayed, frozen in terror over the possibilities of this dream that could have shaken our fearless leader to the core. He shuddered again, bringing shaking hands to his hair and tugging lightly, his breath coming in short stops and starts. His eyes remained closed and he whimpered again, tears spilling passed the closed lids.

"Kendall?" I could hear James and Carlos on the other side of the room. Of course Kendall's scream had woken them too and they were moving to our bed, concerned. Kendall shook his head and let out a sob. "Kendall, it's okay. You're safe." He'd said almost the same words to me years ago, when a nightmare had ripped me from slumber. It had worked for me, knowing Kendall was there, protecting me, like he always did. I felt it only fair to return the favor. Nothing would harm my best friend while I was there.

I gently pried my hand free from under his back, using that arm to prop myself up as I pressed my other hand to his chest gently. "It's okay. Look at me, Ken. It's okay."

Finally, ever so slowly, he opened his eyes and lifted his gaze to me. I barely had time to register the fear and hopelessness in his eyes before he lunged, tackling me to my back and practically lying on top of me. The fingers of his left hand curled into the neck of my shirt, his knuckles brushing my skin. He hooked his left leg over mine, pressing himself as close as he could to my side and muttering incoherent words into my neck and shoulder. I could feel hot tears against my skin and I shivered, reaching up to place my own hand over the one attached to my shirt.

"Logan!" I heard him sob my name, his voice muffled by my shoulder. He was still shaking, sobs ripping the silence in the room every few seconds. The bed dipped as Carlos and James sat on the edge, looking down at the wreck pressed against my side. Kendall. Our Kendall. My Kendall. Shaking with fear and tears. And I couldn't determine why, but I knew for a fact I never wanted to see this happen again. If I could protect him from his subconscious, I would do everything in my power to make this moment never happen again.

"Kendall, it was just a dream," I said softly. I lifted my hand from his, pushing my fingers through his hair. It was damp with sweat and clinging to his forehead, but I pushed it away and pressed my lips there instead. He seemed to calm at this and I sighed silently.

I could feel Carlos and James at my side, shifting their positions and staring in concern. They hadn't ever seen Kendall this vulnerable before. To them, he literally was the fearless leader. The closest he'd ever come to breaking down in front of them was freaking out over Jo's maybe cheating on him with her co-star. And that was nothing compared to how badly he could collapse.

I had been witness to it only twice before. Kendall breaking down completely. It was not something I cared to remember, and it made me sick to my stomach that something could affect him so much. It also hurt to remember those moments because, both times, I had been completely unable to pull him down, calm him, bring him back from the brink. I'd had to call for help. His mom had been involved the first time, and the second time I found myself calling the cops in terror that he might do something ridiculous. Thankfully, Officer Garcia had been the one to take the call. I've never been more grateful for Carlos' dad being a police officer.

Now, though, Kendall was shaking with sobs and clinging to me like I was his last life-line. Now, I felt I might actually be able to do something to calm him down before he did something stupid. Now, it didn't feel as dangerous as those other times.

"Kendall, I'm right here, buddy. I've got you. It was just a dream."

His shaking slowed, almost stopping, and he tightened his grip on my shirt. I felt him nod softly.

"It felt so real," he murmured finally, his breath hitching as he spoke. He gulped and shifted impossibly closer. "You were missing. We couldn't find you anywhere. We called the cops, Gustavo, everyone. No one knew where you were. No one could find you."

I felt a chill run down my spine and slipped my arm down to wrap it around his shoulders tightly.

"You were gone," he said through a yawn. "And when we finally did find you, it was too late. You were-" A fresh sob shook his frame and he pressed his face completely into my shoulder.

I knew the next word. Something in me was screaming it. I had died in Kendall's dream. Dead. I shivered and tightened my grip on him.

"It was just a dream," I said again, now as much to reassure myself as him. I knew I was alive. I was breathing. I could feel and see and hear and smell. I could even taste the fear emanating off Kendall. So why did this one dream have such a grip on me like it did Kendall?

Kendall's breathing evened out after a moment and he lifted his face, settling his gaze on my face. I couldn't help but stare back, unsure what he was thinking, what even I was thinking. All I knew was I'd stay there forever if it made that look of terror and sadness leave his face. I was here, where he needed me, and I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Thank you, Logan," he whispered finally.

I blinked stupidly, confused. "Thank you? For what?" I hadn't done anything but said the same five words over and over again. It was just a dream. Was that really enough to warrant a thank you?

But his eyes were locked on mine and they were crinkling in the corners with his trademark grin. He was happy again, somehow.

"For being alive," he said, dipping his head and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "For being you, and for being alive."

I felt the air leave my lungs and I turned, wrapping my arm even tighter around him and pulling him as close as I could. I don't know how long we stayed that way, curled into each other, clinging to each other. His breathing softened and I could feel his heartbeat slowing to a calmer rhythm. He settled into a doze in my arms, soft snores escaping his lips every few minutes. But I remained wide awake, shaken, clinging so tightly to him with no hopes of ever letting go. If I let go, who knew what havoc would break through our little world. Who knew just how bad the next one would be. Even if it was just a dream, I was more terrified than I'd ever been.

The very thought of leaving him behind, of passing beyond this world and leaving Kendall alone... He wouldn't be alone. He'd have Carlos and James, but it still tugged at me, broke me. I could never leave him, whether it be from a stupid argument, or death. I couldn't do it.

It may have been seconds; It may have been hours, but a while passed before I felt the bed shift again behind me. Moments later, I felt the warmth of a body behind me and Carlos' strong arm wrapped around my waist. Another hand found its way to resting atop my arm from the other side of the bed, James curled around Kendall's back and reaching as though to try and hug all three of us in one go. And finally, I could feel the tension leave my own body as I settled into the warmth of my friends, knowing they wouldn't ever leave any of us either.

I woke to Kendall's breath against my neck, warm puffs of air sending a shiver down my spine. Carlos' hand clenched at my hip and his light snores rumbled through my back where he'd settled his head just against my shoulder blades. One of James' hands had worked its way over Kendall's head on the pillow and tangled into my hair in the night. His fingers were twined in the strands, nails lightly scraping against my scalp whenever he twitched. I lifted my hand, looking at the watch I'd forgotten to take off the day before, and sighed heavily. We had maybe an hour before Gustavo would come busting the door down to get us ready for our next interview, but I couldn't have cared less at that moment. I settled my head back down on my pillow, watching James' face over the top of Kendall's head, content.