The last of the Ice Bros froze in place, face locked in a horrified grimace as he realized only too late what was happening. Comically, his clawed hand was reared back, ready to toss one of the dreaded ice balls which ad formed his final prison.

With a considerably misplaced, ferocious snarl upon his face, the penguin man jumped high up into the air.

"WA-HOOOO!"

The triumphant scream rang throughout the little icehole as Mario's pudgy Italian cheeks rammed down upon the frozen foe, crushing him like a bug. The impact sent a mighty ripple through the blubbery flesh, protected by the rubbery layer of penguin suit.

"MARIO NUMBER ONE!"

...World 3 was safe to travel, once more... at least, for now. At least, until things reset. At least, until world 3-Tower or 3-Ghost House, depending on which path the traveler took. But for now, Mario had a friend to rescue.

Feeling celebratory, Mario ran towards the large, locked wooden trunk and flopped down onto his belly, sliding gleefully towards his trapped ally.

"WA-MA," the high, scratchy voice whined from inside. "WAMAMAMA. HALP MAY! WAHA!"

Flippers outstretched, Mario snatched the trunk and continued sliding... out of control. Eyes widening, he saw the wall too late to stop the impact,

"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

A loud BANG, a crunch, the sound of wood splintering, Mario's groans - the Toad inside the trunk made no sound as chaos crashed all around him.

Rubbing his aching beak and wrenching it from the icy wall it had impaled upon impact, Mario surveyed the ruined remains of the trunk and saw the reason for Toad's silence almost immediately:

Blood, thick blood, was spattered all around with bits and chunks of wood. Or perhaps those red spots had come from Toad's mushroom cap, along with the white bits, and... chunks of...

Mario stoically surveyed the shards of skull and bits of brain matter. How fast had he been going? Were Toads naturally that fragile? But he bounced off their heads all the time...!

Silence hung heavy in the icy cavern as the screen faded out to black. He was back on the overworld map before he knew it. Trudging blankly through the bitter winds and cascading blankets of white, his big yellow feet flapping and slapping over the thick quilt of snow draping the land. He couldn't cry. His throat wasn't tightening. His vision wasn't growing blurry. He wasn't biting his wobbling lip or blinking away the tears before they froze. He was wearing a fucking penguin suit, it would look stupid.

Damn physics.

Damn physics.

Damn penguins, damn ice, damn physics, damn Bowser, damn the Ice Bros...

Damn him. Damn Mario. Never mind... an identical Toad would find itself in peril after the next level, he just knew it. Redemption. Always a chance for redemption. And if he failed again, his life would be enough to offer.

Eyes staring ahead with manic, suicidal glee, he waddled into 3-Tower. Lemmy watched him with a dimwitted, innocent delight, faceplanting through the stone roof of the tower in excitement as he made to greet his challenger.

"Let's-a go."

Let's-a go to Hell.


Author's Notes: Why do I love taking gameplay mechanics and storyline elements to their logical extremes? Because Penguin Mario is fun to use. That's why.