-Just something new I felt like writing-

(Synopsis) Azusa, now 25 years old is a heavy metal star. The band, Shadow is famous world wide and is easily the most popular Industrial Metal band in the music industry. Azusa is now the lead guitarist and loves nothing more than to perform on stage.

Offstage however, she has even more responsibility than making sure her concerts are always flawless. Azusa is a single mother with a 5 year old daughter. Now trying to make ends meet through her music and making sure that she is able to provide for her child and to keep her happy while trying to forget about their past.

(CHAPTER 1) GOING HOME

"I can hear them all. I can hear them all cheering; cheering for us, cheering for me." Azusa stood on a metal platform with her guitar in hand and ready to play. "Everyone here want's to hear us, they want to hear us perform, and they want to hear my music."

Azusa looked up through the grated metal stage. Through the stage lighting and constant flash of cameras, she could see the bands lead singer taking his place on the stage with the crowd cheering frantically. The sound of otherworldly keyboard tones began to play as the intro to their show started and the drummers beats began to pick up.

The stage lighting meant to shine from below the stage lit up and the first of the vocals began. The drum beat picked up and the crowd cheered louder. Azusa took in one final breath and slammed her pick down on the strings of her B.C. Rich Beast and hammered out the first of many heavy riffs that would be played this night.

Her platform began to rise and next to her, pyrotechnic charges detonated sending out an ear deafening bang and a shower of sparks as fire lit around her as her platform rose onto the stage with thousands of fans cheering and the blinding flashes of stage lighting and camera flashes constantly filling her sight. Azusa stood surrounded by a ring of fire as she played the heavy intro to the first song of the show.

Her music was hard, and heavy. Constant heavily distorted guitar riffs and other effects. All accompanied by fast double bass drum beats and symphonic keyboard while the constant flare of lights, fire, and explosions rocked the stage. This was her favorite style of music, Industrial Metal. Through her experience of playing soft rock in high school, she slowly found herself evolving her style to something much heavier. Now at the age of 25, Azusa was now fully immersed in the heavy metal world.

This was a world where she could allow herself to simply let go. On stage she was able to; for a brief time, forget every problem she had and simply rock out. She loved the stage, she loved the large crowds and she loved her music.

Azusa headed towards the center of the stage as the lights dimmed with the sound of ghostly keyboard bridging the song. She stood front and center and waited for her cue. She tightly gripped her pick and then started a fast and heavy guitar solo as the lights flashed red and a large, loud explosion of fire erupted around her. She loved it, she loved it all. The noise, the stage effects, her talent as a musician.

The bands entire concert lasted about two hours. Azusa began to play the final riff to their last song and watched as the crowd went mad with cheers and applause while the stage lighting flashed and finished off with loud pops and bangs from the pyro effects.

Azusa slammed the final notes out of her guitar and let the harmonic echo throughout the arena; she stood motionless and simply looked on at the crowd as they cheered for her and the rest of the band. She stood motionless in her gothic concert attire, letting the long black ribbons flow around her body and wrap around her corset which was adorned with black straps and chrome metal buckles. She also wore a black pleated mini skirt accompanied by black strapped thigh high stockings and slim buckled boots as well as arm length bands of torn fabric for sleeves. Along with her outfit, she still kept her hair in its usual twin tails which flowed around her dainty body and her long bangs which draped over her face that was decorated with black lipstick and eye shadow.

As the bands lead singer slowly walked to the center stage, Azusa slowly knelt down on one knee and bowed to the crowd. She sat motionless and listened to the cheers and screams. She loved it all so much.

She finally stood and followed the rest of the band off stage and heard the soft outro song begin to play as they left the stage and headed back to the dressing room. As she headed off stage she was instantly reminded of something that she loved even more than the fame, notoriety and the metal scene. Standing before her, wearing a black t-shirt with a matching pair of black pants and a look of joy on her face, was Azusa's biggest love in her life, her 5 year old daughter, Tama.

"Mommy!" She called out happily as she ran to Azusa's arms. Azusa instantly cradled her daughter as she called out happily, "You were great tonight!" Tama was tiny, even for her age. She had long raven black hair much like her mother's and she had piercing blue eyes that lit up her baby doll face and her blushing cheeks. Azusa smiled and looked at her child as she asked, "Do you think so?" Tama instantly nodded, "Yes! You look so cool when you play!" Azusa smiled at her child and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw the band's lead singer; his stage name was Specter but everyone who knew him off stage called him by his real name, Tyler. He was tall and muscular with long, shoulder length, frost silver hair.

"Let's go, Angel." He said to Azusa softly, "We need to be out of here as soon as we're changed and back to the airport." Azusa nodded and stood with Tama's hand in hers. Angel was her stage name, at least that's what the rest of the band called her. Due to the bands name, Shadow, and along with its dark, heavy industrial metal feel, she choose the stage name Fallen Angel Azusa. Most of her fans as well as the rest of the band simply referred to her as Angel. It was other's who took her full stage name into account. Other's that she didn't particularly care for.

She held onto Tama's hand and was led down the halls of the arena by security guards back to their dressing room. The band stepped inside and instantly the drummer, with the stage name Wraith, flopped down onto one of the rooms sofa's and sighed as he said, "I call that show a success." Ghost, the bassist added, "They always love when we save Black Fire for the last song." The keyboard player, Banshee and rhythm guitarist, Phantom both headed towards the separate changing rooms and called out, "Yeah, the crowed was going crazy." "Great vocals tonight too Specter."

Azusa led Tama over to the Sofa where the drummer was sitting and said, "Be a good girl and sit with Wraith while mommy changes, okay?" Tama simply smiled and replied, "Okay." Azusa then walked over to her own separate changing area and grabbed her suitcase. Once inside her changing area, she quickly stripped from her gothic stage clothing and neatly folded them up and placed them into a small suitcase. She then stripped from her bra and panties and stepped into a small shower and quickly washed the sweat from her body.

As the refreshing warm water ran over her well formed body, her mind began to wander. It had been 2 years since she finally left him. 2 years since she finally worked up the courage to realize just how much trouble she was in and how much danger her daughter was near. She sighed and looked down at her body. As the streams of water fell around her from the shower, she ran her fingers over a scar on her lower abdomen. She sighed. It was a lasting mark of him, and a lasting mark of his abuse.

She quickly finished washing and turned the water off. She then wrapped a towel around her body and stepped back out into her changing area. Azusa finished drying off and quickly pulled out a clean set of underwear and slipped them on. As she finished hooking her bra, she heard a light knock coming from the changing rooms door. "Yes?" Azusa asked calmly. She heard Tyler's voice, "Can I come in?" Azusa calmly replied, "Yeah, I'm pretty much dressed." Tyler came into the room and took notice of Azusa in nothing more than her bra and panties. He didn't make a fuss over it. He knew Azusa's past, the whole band did. He would admit that she was beautiful but because he knew of her ex husband he never made any forceful advances.

"I just wanted to ask you if everything is going okay?" Tyler asked. "Yes." She said calmly as she slipped into a black mini skirt, "Everything is fine." Tyler nodded and continued, "I just wanted to be sure. I know things have been rough with you and Tama and I just wanted to make sure that everything was alright." Azusa nodded as she slipped into a button up top and put on an elegant, gothic black vest over it. "Everything is as good as I hope it can be." Azusa began to brush her still damp hair and continued as she looked at herself in the mirror. "As long as we continue to sell at our shows and I make it home by Sunday so that Tama can make it to school on time, I'm fine."

Tyler sighed, "I know but I've been hearing about rumors in your neighborhood." Azusa stopped brushing her hair momentarily and then paused. She sat motionless for a moment and then continued to brush her long black hair. "People will always be talking behind your back. It's the life of a rock star, I know this, and I accept it." "Do you?" Tyler asked. "Azusa sighed and said, "I don't have a choice right now. If I loose this life, I don't have a home and I can't provide for Tama. Right now I'm making enough as a guitarist to live comfortably and send her to a good school. I could care less what other people think of me, I only care about my daughter."

Tyler sighed and said, "Alright. We all just worry about you two is all." Azusa immediately cut in and said, "Well you can all just stop." She turned to face Tyler and continued, "I appreciate the concern but I'm just trying to live my life without everyone thinking I'm alone and scared." Tyler sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you, I just wanted you to know and understand that the band is here for you." Azusa sighed and said back, "I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful, I appreciate it, I really do. You all have helped me and Tama through a hard time but I want you to understand that right now all we want is to move on and forget about what happened in the past." Tyler stood silent for a second and then nodded. "Alright. I didn't mean to make it seem like we all worry about you, we all just look out for each other. It's part of being in a band."

Azusa looked at Tyler and managed a smile. She replied softly as she stood, "I understand, and I don't want you to think I'm being ungrateful, there are just things that I would rather forget." "I know." Tyler said calmly.

"I better get Tama ready to go. I want her to sleep on the flight home." Tyler nodded, "Alright."

Azusa walked back out of the changing room. She didn't even bother to put her hair into twin tails, she would be asleep on the plane anyway so there was no point in putting them in. She went back out into the dressing room and found Tama sitting with Wraith on the sofa. She was tapping a pair of his drum sticks off of the cushions. With a big smile on her face, she looked up at Azusa and called out happily, "Look mommy! I'm the drummer!" Azusa smiled and let out a small laugh. She then said back, "Uh oh! Wraith, when did you get replaced?" He replied back, "You know how it is, as soon a someone better comes along they get rid of the Has Been."

Azusa walked over to Tama and picked her up and held her. "Do you have everything ready to go?" She asked her. "Yep." Tama replied happily. Azusa smiled at her child as she held her in her arms. She remembered after Tama was just born and the first time she held her. She could only compare it to holding a baby kitten. It was the main reason why her daughter was given a name that was usually reserved for cats. She didn't care. She was treated like a cat throughout her entire high school career, it only made sense that this cat would one day have kittens.

"Do you have all of your homework done for school this coming week?" Azusa asked. "Yep, I did it after lunch today, just like you told me." "That's my girl." Azusa said with a smile. Tama then made her hand into horns with her pointer and pinky finger. Azusa smiled and did the same. It was their way of telling each other good job, or do your best.

A light knock came from the door and Wraith stood. "Coming." He opened the door and saw one of the security guards. He was tall and muscular and wore a black suit. He said, "You're ride is here. We can head out as soon as you're ready." Tyler nodded, "Alright, we'll be ready in ten minutes."

The security guard left and Azusa set Tama down. "Go get your things together so we can go." "Okay." Tama chirped as her tiny legs ran to get her little suitcase. Azusa too went to grab her own suitcase and made sure that Tama was ready to go so they would make it home on time.

A short time later, the band was led out of the dressing room by a small group of security guards. One of the arena employees said, "You can put your bags on this cart and we'll get them to your transport for you." They quickly loaded their bags onto a small cart and began following the guards to the exit.

When they reached the exit, one of the guards spoke up and said, "Get ready to move." They all knew why. As soon as the door was opened, flashes began to go off and cheers were heard. The path to the bus that was waiting to take them to the airport was lined with countless fans. All were cheering out their names and all were fighting to get autographs and take pictures. Azusa quickly picked up Tama into her arms and quickened her pace to the bus.

She loved the attention of the fans but right now she didn't feel like stopping. A group of fans began to shout the bands name. "Shadow! Shadow! Shadow!" They all chanted as the crowed began to cheer and whistle.

For Tama this was different then standing off to the side of the stage and watching her mother perform, she didn't like being around the crowds of fans, it made her nervous from the constant shouts and yelling. She buried her face into her mothers chest as she was carried towards the bus. "It's alright." Azusa told her calmly. "It's to loud." Tama told her. "It's okay." Azusa told her reassuringly, "We're almost to the bus."

Specter let Azusa go ahead of him so she could get Tama away from the crowd of fans. Azusa stepped inside of the bus which was lined with leather seats. She set Tama down on the side of the bus that was away from the crowd and then she sat down next to her. Azusa rested her head against the leather seat and sighed as she finally had a moment to relax after the show. She looked over at Tama who was looking out of the bus window and being unusually quiet. Azusa gently placed her hand on her daughter's tiny shoulder and calmly asked, "Hey, what's wrong?" Tama turned to face her mother and replied quietly, "Nothing, Mommy." Azusa looked at her daughter and replied, "It doesn't look like nothing, you're usually chatty after a show."

Tama sighed and faced back at the window. She replied softly, "I just don't like the crowds of noisy people when we're leaving. They yell to much…" Azusa sighed, she knew why Tama didn't like the yelling. Tama was fine when the crowd would cheer during the performance but once it was over and the music stopped the yelling was different. To Tama, it was yelling with no other sound. Yelling that Tama didn't like. It was the yelling that Tama had to put up with when she was still very young. The yelling of her abusive father.

Azusa wanted nothing more than for the both of them to forget those days. The days of his constant yelling at her and her daughter. Azusa never understood why he was always set off so easily. The smallest things would set him off. No matter what happened it was always her fault and she had to endure his verbal and eventually his physical abuse.

She just wanted those memories to disappear for the both of them. She smiled and told her daughter reassuringly, "Hey now, you don't have to be afraid of those people, their just fans. Their cheering because they like our music." Tama made another small sigh and said, "I know, I just don't like the yelling when there's no music." Azusa smiled and pulled Tama into a hug. "It's the same as the crowd cheering when we're on stage. They just want to give us one last cheer before we go." Azusa then motioned towards the crowd of people that was standing outside of the arena. "Do you see?" Tama looked up and saw the fans cheering. She knew that all of those people loved hearing her mothers music and she knew that the cheers were all for the band; but still, she didn't like yelling.

The bus pulled out and the arena faded behind walls of skyscrapers that dominated the city's skyline. Azusa heard the driver call out, "We'll be at the airport in about 25 minutes." "Cool." Phantom called back. "I can finally get a few hours of sleep."

Azusa rested her head against the leather seat and looked over and watched as Tama stared out the window as she watched the nighttime city pass by. It killed her inside knowing that something was bothering her daughter. Azusa simply put her arm around Tama and pulled her in towards her. Tama looked up at her mother who was smiling down at her. Tama smiled back and allowed herself to relax as she lay in the safety and comfort of her mothers arms.

When the bus arrived at the airport, it was already well past midnight. Tama yawned as she stood with her mother to get off the bus and head inside the airport. The band got off the bus and grabbed their bags. Tama pulled the handle up on her little suitcase and wheeled it over to her mother. Azusa grabbed her own bag and asked, "Are you ready?" Tama simply nodded and they headed inside the airport.

They quickly went through check in and headed inside the terminal. Only a few people were inside waiting to catch late night flights. On their way to the gate, they stopped several times to sign autographs for passing fans. It was fine, the small groups were better than getting rushed by an entire arena of fans who wanted an autograph and a picture.

Once at the gate, they immediately boarded and headed to their first class seats. Azusa stopped one of the flight attendants and asked, "Can I have a few extra blankets for my daughter please?" "Of course." The flight attendant replied. As more people boarded the plane, Azusa quickly made a bed for her daughter on the reclining first class seat and then said, "Lets get you into your pajamas before we take off, okay?" Tama nodded and followed her mother to the planes bathroom.

Once inside, Azusa pulled out a small travel bag and pulled out a set of pajamas. She quickly got her daughter changed and ready for bed. As Tama finished buttoning up her night shirt, Azusa asked, "Are you ready for school on Monday?" Tama nodded, "Yes, we get to start setting up for Parents Night on Thursday." "That sounds fun." Azusa replied. "It is! I can't wait to show you around the classroom and the rest of the school." Azusa smiled at her daughter. "I can't wait." She told her. "Come on, let's get back to our seats before they take off."

A while later the plane was in the air and Azusa and the rest of the band settled in for their long flight home. Tama was fast asleep with her little stuffed kitten. Her long black hair draped over her face and shoulders as she lay in her dream world. Azusa smiled as she lay next to her. She gently stroked her fingers over Tama's soft cheek as she slept.

Azusa would admit that she wished that she didn't have to travel everywhere and keep Tama from living a normal home life, but this life was keeping them financially stable and away from her ex husband. She did however like that Tama got to see the world, and that the rest of the band was always looking out for not only Tama, but herself as well.

She then felt her own eyes getting heavy and slowly Azusa felt herself drifting off to sleep.