A Funny Thing Happened… In Glee Club

By Gayforkurt

A/N 1: Reviews are good but I'm especially blown away by seeing all those favorite/author alert notifications. It does add a little pressure but some pressure is good for you. :-) I'm also working on a Kurtofsky set in the future and I hope you check that one out too.

A/N 2: Formatting note – '…' indicate thoughts; "…" indicate conversation.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Ian Brennan, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk. No copyright infringement is intended.

GLEE

Kurt Hummel was in a splendid mood. Really, no one could blame him for the smug little smile he seemed to sport a lot these days because finally, Kurt Hummel had a boyfriend! Well, he hadn't told Noah as yet that he was his boyfriend but that was just a technicality.

As Kurt strolled across the tarmac of McKinley High School's parking lot, he hummed one of the songs he was considering for glee club later that afternoon. His IPod was crammed with songs he had loved all his life plus newer, more modern non-show tunes that they could use for mash-ups if Mr. Shue would let him.

With his ear buds firmly attached to his ears, Kurt did not hear the voice calling to him from behind. His shoulders shimmied and his hips swayed as he hummed along to the music so when a hand touched his shoulder he yelped and leapt nearly a foot into the air.

When he spun around, Kurt gaped at the sight of David Karofsky, big and bulky in a royal blue letterman jacket with presumably the initials of his new school emblazoned on it in gold. Kurt had wondered how Dave was getting on at his new school and now he was standing here at McKinley before Kurt, he had the chance to find out.

"Dave, oh my gaga, you scared at least five years off my life! How are you? Wait, what are you doing here?" Kurt looked around the parking lot then noticed Dave's truck a few spots over; clearly the jock had been awaiting him.

Dave's gorgeous green eyes (damn, did I just think that, Kurt wondered) bored into his, shy yet determined. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and started talking. Kurt's surprise grew as he listened to the larger boy.

"I know I probably don't have the right to even talk to you, but I was wondering, would you come have a coffee later with me, at the Lima Bean, maybe? There's some stuff I wanted to talk to you about and I don't know anyone at my new school well enough yet. I didn't have your cell phone number and I didn't want to ask Azimio to get it for me." Dave took another deep breath when he'd finished all of that.

Kurt looked at him, amazed, for a few seconds then asked, "Why didn't you just call my house?"

Dave's laugh was short and humorless. "Yes, I can see how that would go over when your dad answers. 'Sir, this is the guy who used to slam your son into lockers at school. Could I maybe talk to him, please?' Yeah, that would have gone over so well."

Kurt's pretty mouth lifted at one corner in silent agreement. "Hmmm, I see what you mean. Well, I do have glee club this afternoon but I could meet you at the Lima Bean at, say, five?"

Dave let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Thanks, Kurt, you don't know what this means to me. I mean, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to have anything to do with me." Tears glistened in his eyes but didn't fall. "I really wouldn't blame you if you hated me, y'know?"

Kurt was a kind-hearted boy and had already forgiven David for his earlier cruel behavior. The confused football player had apologized more than once to Kurt at the end of their junior year, even though he had also humiliated Kurt by leaving him standing in the middle of the auditorium during their junior prom. Kurt believed in giving people second chances; he had done so for Puck who had been one of the jocks who used to love to throw him into dumpsters when they were younger. Since Puck had joined the glee club, however, that kind of behavior had stopped. They hadn't immediately become fast friends but there had been a détente.

Now Kurt marveled at how things could seemingly change overnight. He was dating Puck, McKinley's self-confessed badass and now he would be meeting another former bully for coffee later. A smile tugged at his mouth then he laughed out loud, looking up into David's confused face.

"I'm not laughing at you, Dave, relax. It's just that I was thinking how much things can change when you least expect it. I forgave you a while ago, you big dope, or had you forgotten?"

The challenging look in Kurt's eyes warned Dave he had better answer this one right. "Uh, no?" He cleared his throat again. "No, I didn't forget, it just amazes me, that's all. You amaze me."

Kurt's fair skin heated up and Dave enjoyed the faint flush of color in the smaller boy's cheeks.

"Well, I've gotta go inside; see you later, okay?" Kurt fidgeted with the leather strap of his messenger bag, a little shy at the blatant admiration he could see in Dave's eyes. He didn't know if he was giving off pheromones or something, but these boys coming onto him was something he still hadn't become accustomed to. It felt really good though!

"Bye, Kurt, see you later." Dave nodded his head and then moved off towards his truck. He felt lighter, knowing that he would be seeing the young singer later. He knew it wasn't a date but he could still dream, couldn't he?

Kurt watched him for a few moments and then turned back to head into the halls of McKinley High. He wondered as he turned off his IPod if he should mention his later meeting with Dave to Puck and even when he was standing at his locker, he still hadn't made up his mind.

As he switched out books and took a final look at his face, checking that everything was still flawless, Kurt mused that he really wasn't all that sure what Puck's reaction would be. Kurt knew that Puck had no great liking for Dave, even though he had made no effort to protect Kurt from the bigger boy during their junior year. Now that they were dating and were 'sorta' boyfriends, Kurt didn't know if telling Puck was such a good idea.

Kurt slammed his locker door shut and, hearing Mercedes and Tina's voices as they came towards him, turned to call out to his girls. Unfortunately, someone was standing right in front of him and Kurt gasped as he almost slammed into a letterman jacket-wearing chest.

"What is wrong with you boys? That's another five years off my life, dammit!" Kurt's angry eyes stared up at Sam as the other boy beamed at him. Really, Sam was like a ray of sunshine most days but Kurt had had it with people sneaking up on him.

"What do you want, Sam? I'm going to be late for class if I keep stopping to talk to jocks every few feet." Sam moved aside to let Kurt pass him, falling into step beside the irate boy.

"Hey, why're you so uptight? I really didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to ask if I could come over some time this week and practice some of the songs we're supposed to be doing; y'know, choreography and stuff."

Sam glanced down at Kurt's outfit, admiring the way the top stretched across Kurt's shoulders. Sam liked when Kurt wore sweater tops as he had a feast of features to enjoy: Kurt's long pale neck, his sweet collarbones, even the hint of pecs that showed the slender boy was quite toned. Kurt's top half was definitely eye-catching but it was his bottom half that had the power to stop Sam's breath for a second whenever he caught sight of it.

Kurt had no idea what was going on behind him when strode down the hallways with that runway walk of his, head held high and tight ass swaying discreetly. Sam didn't think of himself as gay – he was just able to appreciate beauty in all its form. And he thought Kurt had great form. The musical teen always seemed to glow and even when that glow was slightly dimmed because of Kurt's quieter moods, it was enough to make other people watch him and wonder.

As Kurt was about to reply to the blonde athlete's request, Tina's voice called from behind them. "Hey, Kurt, ready for glee club later? Mercedes and I have a killer performance we think Mr. Shue will love."

Kurt smiled down at the Asian girl as she bounced up to him and Sam and then looked over at Mercedes, his best friend. "Well, is it a secret or can you let me in on this tour de force you are planning?"

Mercedes tossed her head in true diva fashion, sniffing as she intoned: "You'll just have to wait and see with the rest of the masses, white boy!" Then she cracked up laughing. "No, it's not a secret but we definitely want to surprise you guys. What are you planning to do later?"

Kurt confessed that he was just a little undecided about his choice; then he looked over at Sam and asked what he was planning to do in glee club. Sam's eyes twinkled as he stared at Kurt's smiling mouth. Tina and Mercedes exchanged surprised glances as they watched the jock openly flirt with their friend. When had all this started, they wondered simultaneously.

Sam finally replied to Kurt's query, a soft look in his eyes. "I wanted to try a serenade; I hope it goes over well."

Kurt flushed as he picked up on the not so subtle hint he was getting from the other boy. He cleared his throat then turned back to continue his way to their first class of the day.

"Oh, okay, good luck, then," and with a little flutter of his fingers he ducked into his classroom for the first period. History was just boring enough and not any kind of challenge at all so he would have time to cool down and get a grip on what he was going to sing later.

Really, these last couple of weeks had been enough to go to a girl's head – or at least Kurt's. Hmmm, life was, indeed, good.

GLEE

Puck hadn't seen Kurt since their date on Friday night and this week's glee club exercise was going to provide him with the perfect platform to make his feelings clear to his boyfriend. He hadn't actually used that word in reference to Kurt before, not that he was scared to come out, but he thought they should probably discuss things before taking that step.

He looked around the choir room at the others who were busily putting the last touches to choreography or their songs' arrangements and smiled to himself. Kurt was going to be blown away by his song choice. He knew Kurt didn't see him as a sensitive soul but he could be when he wanted to be. He watched as the slender teen seemed to be in a world of his own, his IPod's ear buds stuck firmly in his ears, nodding his head and waving one elegant hand to and fro.

Finally, Mr. Shue got up to do his usual introductory spiel. "Well, guys, we said last week we would continue romantic ballads and I did say they could be a little steamier this time. I don't expect to see any 'bumping and grinding'," he did silly air quotes when he said that last bit. "I just want to see a wide range of songs. Okay, who's up first?"

To his surprise, Artie's hand shot up before Rachel's, thank heavens. At his nod, the wheelchair-bound youth rolled over to the center and announced he would be using Mike, Puck and Sam as his backup dancers. Some of the girls squealed and the group clapped in encouragement as the intro for 'Love in the Club' started playing.

Mr. Shue sat back and laughed; he could trust Artie to find the perfect hip-hop/RB song to suit his voice and style. The fact that he was a white boy stuck in a wheelchair never held him back and his performances were always spot on and intense. His back up dancers weren't too bad either, especially Puck who never passed up an opportunity to play up the sexiness.

When the boys finished amidst applause and whistles, Tina, Mercedes, Quinn and Brittany took their places. When their intro started, Mercedes took the microphone and explained, "Our song is a little slower, but I think it's just as hot as the guys'."

Sure enough, the girls started swaying, throwing sultry looks at the boys in the room as they sang En Vogue's 'Giving Him Something He Can Feel'. Mr. Shue flushed but tried to look as if he was still in charge of the group. Yeah right, that horse had left the barn when he had allowed Rachel Berry to become the club's 'unofficial' leader. Still, he was proud of his kids; they had talent and to spare.

The girls sang and swayed, shimmied and shook as they came to the end of their subtle yet undeniably sexy performance. When the rest of the group erupted in applause, the girls jumped around and hugged each other, immensely proud of themselves and their accomplishment.

By this time, though, Rachel's hand was waving in the air, demanding Will's attention. Just as he nodded to give her the go ahead to start her performance, her on-again, off-again boyfriend Finn decided he wanted to go next. Will looked, exasperated, at the two mulish teens.

"Okay, I tell you what; you guys do a mash-up of your songs. No, I don't care what the songs are, make them work." He sat and crossed his arms, indicating he was in no mood for their crap after the two wonderful performances they had just watched. After a moment's silence during which the other kids looked at each other wonderingly, Finn and Rachel moved to the center to begin.

Will's mouth dropped open as the two started their mash-up, blending Rachel's arrangement of 'If I Were A Boy' seamlessly with Finn's version of 'Heartless'. Really, Beyoncé and Kanye West, who would have thought that combo would work?

Rachel's powerhouse vocals and Finn's light baritone caught the attention of the group; everyone knew the history of these teen's tumultuous love life. The mash-up was perfect for them. As the last note faded, there was a short silence then a few people started to clap. Rachel glanced over at Finn surreptitiously while Finn stared ahead at the group. They quietly acknowledged the smattering of applause and took their seats as far away from each other as it was possible to get in that room.

Will jumped up to break the awkward silence. "So, guys, who wants to go next?" Nobody moved, the mood having been brought down somewhat by Finn and Rachel. Suddenly Sam jumped up, startling Will slightly. "I'll go, Mr. Shue. There's someone in particular that I want to dedicate this song to. A serenade, y'know?"

Sam turned his blushing face downwards as he tuned his guitar. He cleared his throat, began playing the intro and then started to sing 'If Only For One Night'.

Let me hold you tight

If only for one night

Let me keep you near

To ease away your fear

It would be so nice

If only for one night.

I won't tell a soul

No one has to know

If you want to be

Totally discreet

I'll be at your side

If only for one night

Yeah, if only for one night.

As Sam sang to Kurt with his heart in his eyes, several of the kids looked between the two boys. No one had seen that one coming!

Kurt stared at his clasped hands and blushed furiously. It didn't help that Noah was sitting near him, just one seat over, with one hand stretched out and touching the back of Kurt's neck discreetly. When Sam's serenade came to a gentle close, repeating the words "if only for one night", Kurt looked up at him wonderingly. They stared at each other until the group burst into wild applause, startling the boys and making Puck frown.

"Thank you, Sam, that was … ugh… that was enlightening," Will moved over to the blonde jock still standing in the middle of the floor staring up at Kurt. Will nudged him to get him to go back to his seat where Brittany and Tina moved to sit on either side of him and patted his arms. The others didn't know what to think or say; did Sam just come out to them? Were he and Kurt going to hook up? Was Sam even gay?

Puck decided it was way past time to do his thing so he strutted his way to the center of the floor and smirked at the group. He grabbed a stool and sat on it, placing his guitar across his lap and waited for the group's attention to return fully to him. The smirk slid off his place to be replaced by a serious expression. The group hushed as they waited, the soft introductory notes giving them no clue as to what Puck was going to sing. Finally,

Lady, I'm your knight in shining armor and I love you

You have made me what I am and I am yours

My love, there's so many ways I want to say I love you

Let me hold you in my arms forever more.

You have gone and made me such a fool

I'm so lost in your love

And oh, we belong together

Won't you believe in my song?

Lady, for so many years I thought I'd never find you

You have come into my life and made me whole.

Forever let me wake to see you each and every morning,

Let me hear you whisper softly in my ear.

In my eyes I see no one else but you

There's no other love like our love

And yes, oh yes, I'll always want you near me,

I've waited for you for so long.

Lady, your love's the only love I need

And beside me is where I want you to be

Because, my love, there is something I want you to know

You're the love of my life

You're my lady…

As the last beautiful notes faded, Noah looked up into Kurt's swimming eyes. No one else existed as the boys looked at each other. Mr. Shue gave them a moment and then got up. No one said anything but the room wasn't completely quiet. He could hear a few sniffles from some of the girls and Kurt, he was sure, seemed to be struggling with a few of his own.

Will smiled gently at Puck; really, this kid never ceased to surprise him. Just when he thought there was nothing more to him than football, food and sex, he pulled out this stunningly romantic ballad.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say that was absolutely stunning, Noah, thank you." Will turned to the still dazed class, rubbing his hands together. "I think we have time for one more. Who's up?"

Once again nobody moved immediately, and then Kurt stood up and glided down to stand beside Will. He beckoned to Quinn and Brittany who were going to sing the intro for him and when they were standing beside him, he addressed the club.

"I hope this will live up to the last two songs we just heard." He blushed a little as he smiled at Sam and Noah, and then nodded at the girls to begin.

If I never feel you in my arms again
If I never feel your tender kiss again
If I never hear I love you now and then
Will I never make love to you once again
Please understand if love ends
Then I promise you, I promise you
That, that I shall never breathe again
Breathe again
Breathe again
That I shall never breathe again
Breathe again

As the girls sang the introductory lines to Toni Braxton's 'Breathe Again', a murmur ran through the group. Mr. Shue shifted a little uncomfortably and wondered what in heaven's name had led him to extend the whole romantic ballad theme into this week. After Sam's and Noah's surprising choices, he now knew that Kurt was never going to be outdone. Still, the kids had stuck to the theme really well and for this he would just have to be satisfied.

Kurt was known for his unbelievably high countertenor voice but this time, he would sing in a slightly lower register for this song. His low sultry voice began as the girls' faded away.

And I can't stop thinkin' about
About the way things used to be
And I can't stop thinkin' about
About the love that you make to me
And I can't get you outta my head
How in the world will I begin
To let you walk right out my life
And blow my heart away

And I can't stop carin' about
About the apple of my eye
And I can't stop doin' without
Without the center of my life
And I can't get you outta my head
And I know I can't pretend
That I won't die if you decide
You won't see me again

If I never feel you in my arms again
If I never feel your tender kiss again
If I never hear I love you now and then
Will I never make love to you once again
Please understand if love ends
Then I promise you, I promise you
That, that I shall never breathe again
Breathe again
Breathe again
That I shall never breathe again
Breathe again…

Kurt and the girls' subtle choreography consisted mostly of gently swaying hips and arms but it suited the song perfectly.

And I can't stop thinkin' about
About the way my life would be
No I can't stop thinkin' about
How could your love be leavin' me
And I can't get you outta my mind
God knows how hard I tried
And if you walk right out my life
God knows I'd surely die

If I never feel you in my arms again
If I never feel your tender kiss again
If I never hear I love you now and then
Will I never make love to you once again
Please understand if love ends
Then I promise you, I promise you
That, that I shall never breathe again
Breathe again
Breathe again
That, that I shall never breathe again
Breathe again
Breathe again
That I shall never breathe again
Breathe again, no, no, no,

…then I shall never breathe again…

As Kurt worked his soulful magic on the last line of the song, he looked longingly into Noah's eyes. At that moment, no one in that room was in any doubt about Kurt's feelings. The intensity and utter sensuality of the music along with the breathiness of the words said it all.

Noah, who had not returned to the back row where he and Kurt had been sitting before, stalked over to the blushing boy. With absolutely no regard for where he was or who was watching, Noah devoured Kurt's mouth, causing the slender teen to cling convulsively to his shoulders.

"Noah, Noah, that's enough!" Will Shuester's voice finally penetrated the sensual fog surrounding the oblivious teens.

As the boys separated, leaving their arms entwined around each other, they noticed the horrified, amused and or bewildered stares of their friends and classmates. To Puck, nothing mattered but that he had staked his claim on Kurt; to Kurt – all he wanted right now was for the inevitable questions to be over.

Mercedes and Tina leapt to their feet and pulled Kurt away from Puck. On his part, Puck found himself surrounded by the other football players apart from Sam, who sat with a dazed look on his face. The look morphed into one of embarrassment as it dawned on him that he had serenaded somebody else's guy.

Kurt held up his well-manicured hands and tried to stem the flow of the girls' questions. Mercedes had known that Kurt and Puck had been dating but she had had no idea things had progressed this far. Tina, who hadn't known anything at all, was thrilled and happy for Kurt but was a little wary about Puck. After all, everyone knew the Puckzilla's reputation.

"I'll fill you guys in later; I'll text you and maybe we can have a sleepover or something," Kurt was adamant about discussing anything in the choir room. Besides, he was still a little flustered about Noah's alpha male display, though it had seriously turned him on. Thank gaga his sweater was long enough to cover anything that had 'come up'.

Across the room, the jocks had converged on Puck, Finn especially seeming most put out at Puck pawing his stepbrother like that in public. He knew they were dating, "but dude, you didn't have to maul the guy!"

Puck shook off the questions and remonstrations, already gathering up his stuff for football practice later. "Look, dude, it's none of your business what your stepbro wants to do with me. He wasn't exactly fighting me off. Besides, I thought it was darn romantic and you know he loves that shit."

Finn glanced across at the fashionable teen that seemed to be eating up all the attention. God, he was such a diva! He slapped Puck on the back, and then turned to the other guys. "Hey, back off, this isn't a big deal."

Mike and Artie both rolled their eyes at Finn's typical about-face then they all turned back to Mr. Shue who was trying to get their attention.

"Okay, people, when next we meet we have to work on what we will be doing for the upcoming events on our competition schedule. Principal Figgins has decided to add a winter ball to our schedule, as well, so we have to come up with songs for that as well. Get your thinking caps on and let's get some good ideas flowing. Get outta here and I'll see you all on Thursday!"

The kids bundled up their stuff and moved towards the exits. Mike rolled Artie out behind Finn then Sam and Puck almost collided in the doorway. Puck looked at the blond football player and felt a little guilty at the forlorn look on his face.

Clapping his hand on Sam's shoulder, Puck leaned over and whispered, "Sorry, dude, I thought you knew."

Sam just shrugged and smiled. "Maybe I took too long to say something, I guess." He stared hard at Puck for a moment. "If you do anything to hurt him, though, I'll be waiting to pick up the pieces."

Puck was inclined to scoff at the threat but decided to take the warning to heart. Sam was a nice guy and Kurt liked him so Puck knew that if anything went wrong, it would be as if he were pushing Kurt into Sam's arms. He'd be damned for a lame-ass idiot if he let that happen!

"Not to worry, I'm no fool. There's no way I'm letting Kurt slip through these fingers," he answered with his trade-mark smirk.

Behind him, still in the classroom, Kurt had taken out his cellphone that had just trilled an alarm. Oh, shoot! He had forgotten to tell Noah he would be meeting Karofsky for coffee at five o'clock. Now that it seemed they were 'out' as boyfriends, he didn't know if he needed to tell the other boy every move he made. Oh, well, he would just text him afterward because he knew football practice would keep the boys until fairly late. Coach Beiste was running them ragged as they had a game coming up soon and she wasn't happy with their conditioning.

Kurt headed out the door and ran smack into Noah who, apparently, had been waiting on him.

"Will you stop doing that?" Kurt smacked Noah's chest lightly though the other boy just laughed and slid his arms around his waist. Kurt reached up to plant a peck on Noah's lips and when the bigger boy tried to deepen it, he pulled away teasingly.

"Come on, big guy, I think you've done enough alpha posturing for one day. Don't you have practice with the Beiste?"

Kurt was actually reveling in the fact that Noah didn't seem to have any more problems with public displays of affection. It hadn't been a big deal, really, because Kurt himself had been a little nervous about possible homophobic reactions and taunts. He had worried that the other jocks in the school would start giving McKinley's 'badass' a hard time, but so far, nothing had happened.

"You know I can't get enough of your sweet lips and hot body. Give us some sugar, Ladyface," and leaned down to kiss Kurt again. Before his lips could make contact, however, Mr. Shue's voice put a halt to their make-out session.

"Come on, guys, enough is enough. I know you have practice, Puck. Let the boy breathe." Mr. Shue emphasized his words by pushing Puck down the corridor away from Kurt, who waved at Noah as he laughed at him.

"I'll call you later, princess. Keep it warm for me." Puck was irrepressible.

"Puck!"

"Sorry, Mr. Shue, just can't help it."

Kurt giggled all the way to the car park. Noah made him feel so good and that was still such a novelty that Kurt hugged it to himself, letting it warm and bolster him ahead of his meeting with Karofsky. He crossed his fingers and wished on all past, present and future designers that whatever Dave wanted to talk about was something he could handle.

He, Kurt Hummel, needed no more drama in his life.

TBC