Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J.K. (I'll put the 5th book out when I'm good and ready) Rowling does.

Whenever I have these symbols * it means that there is an action being expressed Chapter One: Harry and Hermione have a Startling Secret

One day at Hogwarts in spring, Harry, Ron and Hermione were very bored in the common room. They had started to discuss some very interesting things, such as Ron's favorite cheese flavor versus Harry's favorite cheese flavor. They got sick of that, so they started talking about family.

Harry: Well, I think I have a cousin somewhere. But she has brown hair and her name is Hermione. I mean, like where are you going to find some weirdo like that?

*Ron and Hermione blink*

Hermione: Yeah, I have cousin, but he had black hair, bright green eyes and a little freaky scar on his head. Where are you going to find someone like that?

Ron groaned.

Ron: Shut the fuck up! I have something MUCH more interesting than "I have a little hottie cousin...blah blah blah"

Harry: I never said she was hot.....but come to think of it.....she does sound pretty good....

Ron: Well, I had a sex change!!!! MWHAHAHA!!!!!

*Harry and Hermione blink*

Hermione: Uh...Ron...I knew that.

Ron: How?

Hermione; Well, when we shared feminine beauty secrets last week, that was a red flag.

Harry: Yeah, I knew too. You kept leaving bras in the boys dorm.

Ron: (under his breath) Shit!

Ron: Well....I got something else to say, too!

Harry and Hermione: What?

Ron: I'm pregnant! *starts sobbing*

Harry suddenly looked very worried.

Harry: Is it mine?

Hermione suddenly screamed

Hermione: TMI!!!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!! a

Harry ran to cuddle Ron, who promptly shoved him off.

Ron: Get off me! I may be a girl, I may be pregnant, but I will never, I repeat NEVER be gay!!!
Okay. That's all 4 chapter one. Hope you found it funny. If you wanna rag me out, DON"T. I GET VERY MAD!