This is just a bit of a ramble that I wrote last night when I couldn't sleep. Please remember this is M rated


Harry rolled over as he woke up and hit the alarm to stop the noise pounding through his head. He reached out for Ruth and looked at her side of the bed when he didn't feel her. It was empty. She wasn't there. Suddenly he was no longer tired and he got up, worrying about her.

"Ruth?" he called out, wondering where she had got to. He walked into their kitchen and saw her sitting at the table staring out of the window, a blank look on her face.

"Ruth?" he repeated sitting next to her. She still hadn't turned to face him. "What's wrong?" he asked in a calm voice, hiding his fear. She still didn't say anything or even look at him. Harry reached for her hand and squeezed it. She felt really cold. "How long have you been sitting here?"

"I don't know," she said in a low voice. "I can't remember."

"Ruth, what is wrong?" he said slowly.

"I have to tell you something and I'm really scared about how you're going to react," Ruth said, the words coming out in a rush.

"Just tell me," he said, rubbing the back of her hand in a manner he hoped was reassuring.

"I'm pregnant," she said in a voice which was just above a whisper. She couldn't look at him. She was too afraid of what she might see there. "I know that you've already had children and I know you feel like you weren't a good father. You probably feel that chapter of your life is over and we're too old…" her rambling was cut short by Harry kissing her softly.

"Stop worrying," Harry said when he let her go. She still looked upset and was biting her lip anxiously. "Aren't you happy?"

"Are you?" she asked nervously.

"Yes," he said honestly still holding her hand. "But you don't seem happy."

"I've been worrying all night," she said. "Ever since you fell asleep. I couldn't work out how to tell you and I was scared. So I just sat here."

"This is good news," Harry said quietly. "Really."

"You're not just saying that?" she asked. "I am happy about the baby but I've been terrified as well."

"I love you," Harry said. "Both of you." Ruth let a smile colour her face before he kissed her again. "Now go and get some sleep."

"No…" Ruth started. "I need to go to work."

"I'm not asking you," Harry said in a quiet voice. "I'm telling you. And you can rant about that all you like, I don't care. You need sleep."

"Okay," she said too tired to argue. Harry put an arm around her and helped her back up the stairs to bed. She was so tired she could barely put one foot in front of the other and didn't argue when Harry pulled the duvet cover over her making sure she was comfortable.

"Are you sure I can't come in to the grid?" Ruth asked with her eyes drifting shut.

"You got no sleep last night," Harry said firmly. "And you have an extra person to take care of. So you are going to close your eyes and keep both you and our child safe."

"Okay," Ruth said, her mouth lifting in a small smile. Which got bigger when she felt Harry give her stomach a gentle touch.

"You call me if you need anything," Harry said. "Anything at all. Promise me."

"I promise," Ruth murmured. Once she fell asleep Harry watched her with both love and wonder. She was carrying their child. He couldn't imagine anything more perfect. He kissed the top of her head lightly enough that she wouldn't wake up from the pressure.

"How could you think I'd be anything less than thrilled Ruth?" he asked her sleeping figure. He kissed her again and then got ready for work. It would be a hard day on the grid without his best analyst, not to mention how hard it would be for him personally, to glance up and not be able to see her there. He sighed and left her to her quiet dreams.


Ruth woke up and remembered what had happened that morning. She smiled. His reaction couldn't have been better. She had been worrying for a week over how to tell him, ever since the blue stripe appeared on the pregnancy test. Relief coursed through her now that worry was lifted from her. She reached for a glass of water which she knew was on her bedside table and her hand found a piece of paper which crumpled as she picked it up. Squinting against the bright daylight she recognised Harry's handwriting.

"Ruth, please call if you need anything. Even if you don't need anything I would love to hear your voice. Take care of both of you. I love you. H xxx." Ruth looked around the room, wondering where her mobile had ended up and saw her bag hanging on the door handle. She quickly got it and curled back up in bed, speed dialling Harry's phone.

"Hold on," he said as he answered it. Ruth let the background sounds of a busy grid flow through her feeling slightly guilty that she'd spent the morning in bed as opposed to catching terrorists. "Okay, hello?" Harry said.

"It's me," Ruth said quietly.

"Hi, how are you?" he asked. Ruth felt instantly happier as she heard his voice soften when he knew who was calling him.

"I'm fine," Ruth said. "I needed the sleep. Thank you. Do you need me to come in?"

"No," he said, so quickly she was sure he was lying.

"Harry…"

"Ruth, I bet the first thing you did when you woke up was call me," Harry said. "I'm also willing to bet that you're still in bed and haven't moved more than the distance it took to grab your phone."

"You know me too well," Ruth said, hating to admit how close to the truth he was.

"Impossible," he said sincerely. "I could never know you too well." Ruth wondered how he managed to make her shiver just through hearing his voice. "And if I know you, I think that right now, you have the phone in your right hand, your left fiddling with a strand of hair while you stare out of the bedroom window. And I'd like to imagine that you're daydreaming about what I would be doing to you right now if we were both at home. But then again that might be my male pride talking."

"It isn't," Ruth said quietly, blushing as she let her hair fall back into place and moved her eye line away from the window.

"Oh really?" Harry said and she could hear his smile and knew he would have a glint in his eye. That glint in his eye. "What am I doing to you in your daydream then?"

"You tell me," Ruth said trying to keep her breathing level.

"Okay," Harry said, sensing a challenge. "Well, you're lying naked in our bed, your eyes are that beautiful shade of blue that I adore and you have that look on your face which I love. That look which tells me you want me just as much as I want you. I am running a hand up the inside of your thigh, so slowly, feeling your soft skin under my fingertips. Then I change my mind and decide to kiss your leg instead, needing to feel your skin under my lips as my hands caress your waist. I inch slowly higher as I hear you gasp for more but I take my time, my tongue dancing against you…"

"Stop!" Ruth interrupted quickly. "Just stop."

Harry listened to her, immensely pleased to hear her trying to get her breathing under control. "Did I hit a nerve?"

"Shut up," Ruth said. "At least until you are at home and can do something about it rather than tormenting me over the phone."

"Mm, that sounds like a tempting offer," Harry said in a voice that made her want to melt.

"In all seriousness, do you need me on the grid?" Ruth asked once she had managed to start thinking clearly.

"You would be a help," Harry conceded. "But only if you're feeling up to it."

"I'm pregnant, not ill," Ruth said as she swung her legs out of bed. "I'll be there in half an hour or thereabouts."

"No rush," Harry said. "I love you."

"I love you too," Ruth said putting the phone down. Before she got up she made sure she wasn't still shaking from the after effects of Harry's voice. That took several long minutes.


Ruth closed her eyes as her computer shut down. It had been a hard day, but a productive one. Russian spies were fun to take on, but only when you could make sure you had the upper hand. Today, they had had the upper hand. Everyone had gone home except for herself and Harry, as usual. Ruth felt her tiredness fall away as she got up from her desk and opened Harry's office door without bothering to knock.

"That was a good day," he said sipping at his glass of whisky.

"And that's teasing me," Ruth said indicating the drink. "When I can't have a proper drink for nine months."

"I thought teasing you was what I was doing when you called this morning," Harry said with a raised eyebrow.

"Mm, well maybe you should take me home then," Ruth suggested.

"Not yet," he murmured, approaching her closely. He captured her lips in his and she gave herself up to the intensity of their kiss. As she reacted to his touch, she was vaguely aware that he had a hand resting on her still flat stomach. Which was hard to achieve when they were so closely pressed against each other. Ruth could feel her heart rate speeding up as Harry's fingertips pushed her blouse up and touched her bare skin. His fingers didn't stop moving higher up her body as he kept kissing her, pushing her against one of his office walls. Ruth couldn't cope with all the layers of clothing between them and ran her hands under his shirt, caressing his back with a light teasing touch.

"If I don't get you home soon, I'm not going to be able to restrain myself and we're going to have to alter a massive amount of CCTV," Harry said, breathing heavily against her neck without looking at her.

"Okay. Lets go home," Ruth replied simply, pushing him away enough for her to breathe properly.


They had hardly made it up to the bedroom before he wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her. It took maybe a minute until she was pushed onto the bed with Harry on top of her. His lips were kissing her in a way that made her forget everything in the world, even her own name. At exactly the same time they were both impatiently trying to unbutton each others shirts. Harry stopped kissing her as he pulled apart the fabric and stared at her perfect skin which he never got tired of looking at. Even though they had been together for several months, she always took his breath away. Every time he looked at her.

After he had been staring at her body for several long and silent moments Ruth started to worry. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion and a hand resting on her cheek. "I just can't believe how lucky I am. To have you, after all this time. To know that you're carrying our baby fills me with happiness." He kissed her bare stomach softly, feeling her hands through his hair. He didn't take his lips from her skin and moved slowly upwards. Until he got to the barrier of her white lace bra. His fingertips dipped below the material and found her nipple hard. He squeezed it making her writhe and moan loudly.

He moved a practised hand to her back and unclasped her bra, taking the material off of her. Wasting no time, he let his tongue dance over her newly revealed flesh as her hands pushed his head closer to her. Ruth was letting the fabulous sensations go through her entire body, knowing that no one else had ever managed to make her feel quite this alive. She had enough presence of mind left to throw his shirt off and ran her hands over his back.

"Harry…" she whispered. He knew what she wanted and quickly stripped both his and her remaining clothing off. He looked deeply into her eyes, not looking away for a second and entered her hard and fast, making her groan loudly. She wrapped her legs tightly around him as he kept a fast rhythm. Neither of them needed to draw it out, especially when they both felt caught up in such a height of passion for each other.

He continued pounding into her so hard that she couldn't hold back her scream. She chanted his name loudly as her orgasm rocked through her powerfully. She was still shuddering when she felt Harry climax. Pulling his face to hers she gave him a slow deep and meaningful kiss as they both collapsed onto the bed, completely exhausted.

The minutes rolled by in a happy silence, until Ruth moved away from him, needing some space between their hot and sweaty skin.

"Was that what you had in mind this morning?" Harry asked leaning on one elbow to look at her.

"No," she said sincerely and honestly. "Nothing like it actually."

"Oh that's flattering," Harry said sarcastically.

"No," Ruth edited, quickly realising how that had sounded. "That's not what I meant. When I imagine you with me… and I do imagine it incredibly often. And when I think of us, together, I always picture it slow and tender. I always did, for years. I am constantly surprised that you can make me feel so… desired and wanted. I think that's the right way to put it. Does that make sense?"

"Yes," Harry said slowly as he stroked her face softly. "That makes all the sense in the world."


What do you think? A review would be lovely.