*Booth dies you can image how, I'm not telling you, leave that to your own imagination*
He's gone.
That's the first thing that Brennan thinks as she climbs the stairs.
He's gone.
He left her, he should've never done that. But he did. No, he didn't want to leave her. He wanted to stay. She wanted him to stay with her. As she climbs the stairs, she pushes the door open. She can't feel the icy wind whipping around her frail body. She's completely numb. All she can think about is the fact that she will never see that damn charm smile again. Never see the way those chocolate brown eyes light up when she agrees with him, or when he gets something right. He died too young.
She feels like she can't move, her body stuck in place, looking up at the stars on this chilly January night. It's well past freezing. but Temperance feels nothing. She can't feel the snow crunching under her sock-clad feet. She can't feel the wetness and the shooting pain in her feet from the cold. But she wants to feel something, she needs to feel something.
But she's not allowed to feel anymore. The one person who allowed her to feel freely is gone, never coming back. All the people who have told her she is heartless, she is cruel, all of them go through her mind as she looks at the cold black sky. All those people, she can still see every single one of their faces. Not suprisingly, she sees her first foster father. The one that was her favorite. The one who never laid a finger on her. She remembers that he had her call him Papa Mark.
Sweets thinks she hates pychology because of her messed up relationship with her family. WRONG! She hates it because it's a soft science, just like she told him all those times. Only he never asked her why she thought it was such a soft science. Sweets doesn't realize how much she envies his ability to be a pychologist. To be able to help people with their problems. To do what she never could. She can still see Papa Mark's face when she told him she wanted to be a pychologist. It was one of complete amusement. When she asked him what he thought was so funny, he said her. He told her that she couldn't even keep her parents around, how did she think she would keep patients around. He told her that SHE was the one who needed a pychologist, not be a pychologist. He asked her how could she listen to people talk about their issues when she had too may issues of her own. He told her that if she wanted to be something, it had to be with dead people, that those were the only people that would stick around with her, and then only because they didn't have a choice. That was when she decided to become a forensic anthropologist. She didn't think his words were hurtful, yes it hurt at the time, but she realized he was right. He only wanted what was best for her, and he knew she could never make it as a pychologist. When she had gotten her doctorate as a forensic anthropologist, she copied her Phd and sent him a copy. He has been right all along. She is unfeeling.
Temperance wants to feel. She wants to be free. She doesn't want the burden of the memories, the burden of the truth. The truth being that people can see that she can't feel. But she can. She will prove them all wrong. She is going to feel. As she nears the edge, images flash through her head. Standing getting her diploma. Proving Papa Mark right. People, telling her she is cold, unfeeling, and walking away disgusted. Booth, telling her she is a warm and loving person. Her feeling Booth's heartbeat fade slowly as she held him. Then, another image goes through her mind, one of happiness.
She sees Angela and Hodgins and Zack and his wife. She sees Parker growing up, happy, her not in his life. She sees her father and her brother, finally not having to make sure she is alright. She sees the lab, her office empty, as Cam, Ange, Hodgins, and Zack all laugh and talk, having a great time. And that's when she knows that this world doesn't need her anymore, that they all are better off without her cold, heartless self, imposing on their lives. She realizes that the only person who wants her in this world is gone. He is gone. Nobody else wants to deal with her inability to catch proper colloquialisms, her inability to feel. Nobody should have to watch out for her, stop her from doing something stupid, stop her from unintentionally hurting herself. This world shouldn't have to deal with her, she's pointless, just a waste of space in an already-over populated world. Her colleagues would be better off not having to deal with her, they could have a forensic anthropologist that can feel, or Zack can finally be in her position, a position she knows he will never get with her in the way. She doesn't need to be here, she shouldn't be here, it's selfish to make her friends look after her. And, with all of this in her mind, she jumps.
When she jumps she feels it, she feels the freedom that she has never obtained before. She feels more free than she has in her entire life. Then, as the snowy ground comes closer, she knows that the ultimate kind of freedom is soon upon her. Finally, everything goes black. She is finally free.
Temperance Brennan is now free of her burdens. And the world is free of a good-hearted, compassionate forensic anthropologist. Nobody that remains in this world ever stops to think that the reason she is gone is because she was so good-hearted, and didn't want the world to have to deal with her anymore. Nobody stops to think that she felt that she was doing the world a favor, they just think that she didn't want to live in a world without her partner, without Booth. Nobody knows how wrong they are, and Brennan doesn't know how wrong she was.
