TEARS IN THE RAIN
Ianto ran out on to the Plas and then stood frozen his arms outstretched at his sides. He tilted his head to the sky and let the freezing rain run over his face, drowning his tears of anger and frustration. He had never felt such desolation before in all the things that he had been through, Jack running away was the one thing he hadn't truly believed would happen. They would be helpless without him, even more broken than they were now, or maybe it was just him. Jack had told him he would go and whenever and where ever the Doctor appeared all kinds of trouble would surely follow. The sickening foreboding in his gut threatened to consume him with the realisation that Jack had taken a part of his soul away with him. Ianto had felt the snapping disconnection like a physical blow, had almost dropped the tray of coffees. What had Jack done to him? He screamed at the sky as his anger finally enveloped him fully. Passersby skirted away throwing disturbed glances in his direction as he continued to rant heavenwards, cursing himself and Jack in equal measure.
Tosh, Owen and Gwen found him there, soaked through and bedraggled on his knees in the puddles of cold rain his face buried in his hands. The three of them gathered round their youngest team mate and Owen and Tosh gripped his arms and hauled him to his feet.
"Come on mate, lets get you inside, you must be freezing." Owen chided gently. "Daft Tea Boy, you'll end up with another dose of pneumonia, come on."
Ianto allowed himself to be propelled back into the tourist office and Gwen made sure that the door was locked up behind them as they made their way back down to the Hub. Ianto was shivering by the time they had reached the autopsy bay and he watched through unfocussed eyes as his colleagues got him out of his wet clothes and into some dry ones. He was quiet and compliant, neither helping or hindering and Ianto was content to shut down and not think and feel about anything anymore.
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He had no recollection of the breakdown. The others described to him, the following day, how he had reacted to the news of Jack's desertion. Owen was calling it a desertion, Gwen and Tosh stuck with departure. Ianto thanked them in quiet tones for their concern and kindness and decided to return to his duties as if nothing had happened.
The others argued about what to do, who to take charge and whether or not to close down Torchwood Cardiff altogether and Ianto listened and worked until one day after a particularly loud debate between Owen and Gwen he'd had enough. Ianto stopped mid way through placing a tray of coffees on the boardroom table and turned to look at his colleagues. He was angry still, unbelievably so but the look on his face made every one stop and look at him. Ianto settled the tray down.
"It doesn't matter about Jack. He's gone. We still have a Rift to guard and weevils to keep off the streets. Jack isn't coming back. I know he held us all together, God knows how, when I think about what a shit leader he actually was. Owen you're still a doctor with the same skills you had last week, Tosh is still our Techie whiz and I am still the general support dogs body. That leaves you Gwen, you liase and you direct, the decisions of importance we make collectively and we GET ON. I refuse to give up on Torchwood just because Jack has."
He stepped back folding his arms across his chest and huffed out an embarrassed breath.
"We can do this, we can."
Still no one spoke and Ianto found himself shifting his gaze to his feet.
"Tea Boy's right. We've still got our jobs to do."
Tosh and Gwen were both nodding in agreement. After some awkwardness they settled around the boardroom table and three expectant faces turned to Ianto. He shrugged and then looked at his hands.
"Go on Ianto, say what you have to say." Gwen encouraged.
"Alright. I suggest that we all meet in here each day just for a little while so we can let each other know what's going on, we can take it in turns to have the remote alert.... I don't know. I'll go through Jack's office and make sure there's nothing outstanding we don't know about and I'll make the sure the payroll carries on as before. I'll deal with the phone calls, I was doing most of that anyway and I shall keep on with all the admin and be your fourth person in the field for the bigger operations....."
"And still make the coffee?" Owen put his hands together in the prayer position and pouted theatrically.
Ianto hitched a smile. "Yes, of course. What I'm saying is, Jack's absence shouldn't diminish us. There's trouble ahead, he's said himself often enough and we have a responsibility out there to everyone else to be ready."
"You don't think he's coming back do you?" Gwen searched his stormy eyes and saw only iron hard determination there.
"He told me that when he found his doctor, he would leave. Jack only stayed because he was waiting for him. But one thing I can tell you about the Doctor, where ever he goes trouble always follows. Everything feels wrong to me and I think Abbadon was just the start."
"You can't possibly know that." Owen groused.
"You're right, I don't for sure, but I trust my instincts. I know what I have to do. I'll run this place alone if I have to. I have a sister out there with two little kids how can I in good conscience turn my back on this? We're the first line of defence for anything that comes through that bloody Rift."
"We're not going anywhere Ianto, like you said we just have to sort ourselves out a bit and get this place running a bit more efficiently to cope with .... well, until Jack gets back." Gwen was determined that he would. Ianto didn't see the point in debating it. "We just need a bit of a routine or something."
"Well perhaps you and Ianto can sort that out, structure the days with set tasks that we can do when we're not out in the field, so we've got something to work at without all of us being run ragged at the same time." Tosh was starting to feel hopeful, though like Gwen she firmly believed that Jack would come back to them.
Owen just nodded his agreement.
"Good that's sorted then."
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Somehow, they made it work. It was hard and each of them had days where they felt like giving up, but the others would rally round and things would get done and Torchwood Cardiff moved on one alien at a time. Ianto had closed up the tourist office and moved his work space to Jack's office and eventually he took up residence in the under office den as the official night watchman. It suited him fine and enabled him to plough through most of the paperwork in peace. Gwen was always first to arrive in the morning taking up all the things Ianto had earmarked for her attention and then Owen and Tosh would roll in at nine and the day began, leaving Ianto to sleep between mid day and 6pm.
A month after Jack left Ianto picked up a very odd phone call from Jack's office phone.
"Hello, Ianto Jones speaking."
"Mr Jones? I need to speak to Jack Harkness, it's Helen from the hospital."
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Ianto buried the secret of Flat Holm Island as soon as he discovered it. He departed the island with assurances to Helen that he would continue Jack's work to support the staff and patients hidden there. He was vomiting furiously over the side of the boat on the way home and sat in Jack's office that night with a bottle of scotch and shaking hands, cursing Jack for yet more secrets and the abandonment of his responsibilities. The following day Owen had noted that something had clearly upset his younger colleague and when asked, Ianto had lied for the first time since Lisa.
