Title: Pillow Talk

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl (The books or the character). But that's not going to stop me from messing with him. Ho ho ho

Summery: Completely pointless. But I was bored. Pillow talk between Arty and Zack (And maybe others. Tee hee). SLASH (Nothing but) and other stuff... R&R. One Shot.

Authoresses Note: I'm bored. Really, really bored. And seeing as though I can't update anything at the moment, I thought I'd write this. It's pointless and I'm making it up as I go along... but whatever.

-------------------------------------------

It was three in the morning and all Artemis wanted to do was sleep. He was curled on his side in the large bed of one Zack O' Connel. The blonds arms wrapped around him. His hard and very naked body spooning him from behind(1). Artemis gathered that the other boy was asleep, judging from his silence.

Or at least. He hoped Zack was asleep.

They had just been shagging for the last three hours and Artemis was so tired he couldn't move. Zack on the other hand, had bottomless amounts of energy and it wouldn't surprise Artemis if he wanted another go.

The genius scoffed, hugging his pillow. Like he'd let that happen. Sure he liked sex as much as the next 16 year old. But he did have his limits and they had been been reached and surpassed an hour ago. Zack just kept going and going and going...

Artemis groaned. He'd be sore in the morning. But for now, all he cared about was his pillow and a little fellow called the Sand Man.

Artemis sighed and closed his eyes. So ready for sleep to just take him.

"Babe?"

Pale lids snapped open to reveal blue eyes glazed over with exhaustion.

Artemis moved slightly in Zack's arms.

Damn. He was awake.

"What?" he asked sharply.

Artemis heard movement behind him and half twisted over. Zack had propped himself up on one elbow. His blond locks tousled from his post-sex doze. He looked good. The soccer player looked down at him.

"Oh good. You're not asleep."

Artemis narrowed his blue eyes. Turning over fully. He stretched his arms out above him and glared at his boyfriend.

"I was. What do you want?"

Zack said nothing right away, only let his hand that wasn't supporting his head trail lightly up Artemis's flat stomach. The genius shivered at the touch.

"Why do male cats have nipples when they aren't the ones feeding the baby cats?" he asked suddenly.

Artemis stared at him blankly. That was random.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why do they have nipples if they don't even use them?"

Zack watched him. His fingers tracing circles around Artemis's chest. The genius blinked a few times and tried to roll over.

"I don't know. Now shut up and go to sleep."

There was a few minute's silence. Then.

"I'm still horny."

Artemis ignored him. Scooting away from his lover.

"I don't care."

Zack made a pathetic little sound and leaned over to suck on the ball of Artemis's shoulder.

"Yes you do." he said. His voice muffled slightly.

The genius snorted.

"No. I don't."

Zack shuffled himself closer, pressing his body against the smaller boys. He ran a hand down Artemis's side and moved his mouth to the slender neck of the prodigy.

"Lets have sex."

"Lets not."

"Please!"

Artemis could practically hear the puppy-dog look in that sentence.

"No."

"Oh come on. I know you want me."

"You'd like to think that wouldn't you?"

Zack pouted. He turned his little boyfriend over and was met with cold blue eyes and a scowl.

"I want you." he said in his most seductive voice.

Artemis continued to glare at him.

"I want you to shut up and go to sleep."

Zack sighed and flopped back down, glaring at the ceiling.

"You're no fun." he said after a moment.

No answer.

"Baby?"

Still no answer.

Zack turned his head to look at his lover. Artemis was still sprawled out on his back, his arms above him. His pretty face was relaxed and peaceful. His eyes were closed.

The blond's jaw dropped.

He'd fallen asleep?

Zack narrowed his brown eyes. He'd have to change that.

The blond slipped one hand under the covers, feeling his way down Artemis's body. He beamed when his fingers came in contact with the genius's member.

Artemis's eyes snapped open and he arched up as pleasure shot through him. He moaned a little, turning his head to face Zack. Who was smirking.

The hand on him went further down. And Artemis gripped the pillow.

"Zack. Stop it. I'm so not in the mood." he growled out.

Zack ignored him. Choosing instead trail kisses down his lover's throat.

Artemis moaned again. Why did the blond have to be so good at this? Why?

----

20 minutes later and Artemis was sprawled across Zack's chest and stomach. His eyes were closed and he was so tired he couldn't even remember how to count to ten.

All he wanted to do was sleep. Just sleep. Was that too much to ask?

"Artemis?"

Obviously it was.

The genius pretended he couldn't hear him and kept his eyes closed.

Zack pulled Artemis closer.

"Hey babe. Wanna cuddle?"

"No."

The blond smiled.

"Aww, don't be like that!"

"No."

"I just want to cuddle. I sware."

"No."

"Please!"

"What part of no don't you understand?"

Zack started to massage the other's back gently.

"Just a little cuddle. You don't have to do anything!" he said.

Zack could feel Artemis relaxing in his arms. The small body going limp on top of him.

He heard a sigh and Artemis moved around to get comfortable.

"Fine."

Zack beamed and pulled him closer. For such an ice princess(2) Artemis was so... cuddly.

"Isn't this nice?" he asked, running a hand through the smaller boys dark locks.

Artemis snuggled closer. Finally, he'd be able to get some sleep.

"I guess. Now be quiet and go to sleep."

"Ok."

----------

The peace and quiet lasted about ten minutes until...

"Baby?"

Artemis opened his eyes and muttered a curse.

"What is it now?" he hissed.

Zack pouted.

"I can't sleep."

The genius closed his eyes again.

"Ask me if I care."

"Wanna talk?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"You always want to talk. And now you don't?"

Artemis sat up, rubbing his eyes cutely.

"We have school tomorrow. I don't want my perfect attendance record tarnished because you can't sleep."

Zack followed suit. The royal blue sheets pooling around his waist.

"Oh come one. Who cares if you're late?"

"I do."

"Why?"

Artemis glared at him.

"I'm not going to discuss it now. I want to go to sleep. And if you're going to keep insisting on waking me up. I'm going back to my bed."

Zack pouted, leaning back on his hands.

"But I'm not sleepy." he said.

Artemis rolled his eyes and fell back down, turning onto his stomach.

"Count sheep or something."

Zack watched him for a moment. Admiring the other's back. Yes it was a strange thing to do. Gaze lovingly at someones back, but Artemis had such a pretty back.

"You have a nice back." said Zack absently.

Artemis grunted, covering his head with the pillow.

"Zack. If you don't be quiet and go to sleep, I sware I'll never have sex with you again."

There was silence for a moment. Wonderful, beautiful silence. Which had Artemis hoping that Zack had finally decided to stop talking and leave the genius alone. The threat of no sex was surely enough to get the message across that Artemis just wanted to sleep.

The quiet was there for a whole ten minutes.

Artemis closed his eyes. Sleep slowly coming to him. It was right there. That fogginess tugging at he edges of his mind. It was such a wonderful feeling, Artemis thought he'd cry from happiness.

There was a rustle from beside him, a sigh and then.

"Do you think there is anything good on TV?"

Artemis made a mental note to see about a room change in the morning.

-------------------------------------------

(1) I realize how that sounds. But just... ah whatever. (Slumps in her chair)

(2) Tee hee. Sorry. I couldn't resist saying that.

-------------------------------------------

So what did you think? By the time I finished this I was half asleep. It's pointless, plot-less and... yeah. But I like it. It was a time passing activity. No real meaning behind it. Review. If you want.