"Hello, Juno? It's Vanessa".
Mommy was acting really funny after I gave her the mail. I dunno why. All I know is we got a letter from Uncle Mark. I know cause I can read Uncle Mark's name. I can read my name too.
My name's G-A-B-R-I-E-L L-O-R-I-N-G.
That spells Gabriel Loring.
Mommy usually likes getting the mail. 'Cept for when she gets things called "taxes". Mommy says she wishes taxes would go away. I do too. If Mommy doesn't like taxes, they gotta be bad. Mommy only doesn't like bad things. Like the boogeyman.
I wonder if Mommy found something bad. Maybe that's why she told me to go play with Rufus.
But I didn't mind. I like playing with Rufus. Rufus is my kitty. He's nice and soft and warm. And he likes to sit in my lap when I watch cartoons like Tom and Jerry. I wish I had a mouse too. Then Rufus and the mouse could play with each other, like Tom and Jerry play.
Mommy came upstairs and told me to put Rufus's dinner in his bowl. It's not dinner time yet. I know cause Mommy always tells me to clean up before dinner.
We must be going out.
That's the only time Mommy tells me to give Rufus his dinner before dinner time.
I like to go out. I really like going to the park and watching the other kids playing with their puppies.
And I like going to my friend Jamie's house. Jamie's a girl, but she likes to dress and act like a boy. That's cause the other boys at daycare think girls have cooties and if you kiss a girl, your lips turn purple and fall off. But, I'll tell you a secret. I kissed Jamie on the cheek once, cause Mommy told me to. And guess what? My lips didn't turn purple and fall off, not even a little bit. I wonder what Jamie would be like if she acted like a girl. Probably not like Jamie. I wouldn't like that. I like Jamie, just the way she is.
And I like going to the mall. I really, really like going to the play-center in the mall. There's a little house and a slide and even a bouncy horse like at the park. I even gave the horse a name. His name's Arthur, like the king from this book Mommy reads to me sometimes when I go to bed and can't sleep.
I ask Mommy where we're gonna go, but she won't tell me. She just gives me my coat and tells me that it's gonna be chilly.
I already knew that. It's almost Christmas after all, and there's snow all over the place.
But I gotta listen to Mommy, so I just put on my coat and zip it up. I put my hood on too, so my ears will stay warm. I have a hat, but I don't like wearing it. It makes my hair look messy and funny and I don't like it.
After I'm all ready, Mommy opens the door and I run outside. But I'm really careful, cause there's some places on the steps that have ice on them. I slid on some ice once and hurt my elbow. There's a little scar from where I hit the ground.
Mommy comes out and opens the door of the car for me. Mommy sits in the front and drives. I gotta sit in the back. I wanna sit up front with Mommy, like a big boy. But she tells me that I'm not big enough.
Now that we're in the car, I can figure out where we're going. We're not going to the park. The park's the other way. Maybe we're going to Jamie's house. No, Mommy drove past Jamie's house. That mean's we're going to the mall.
I wonder what Mommy has to buy. We only go to the mall if Mommy has to buy something. Maybe she's taking me to get a new toy for Christmas! Maybe cause I've been really good, she's gonna let me have a Christmas present early! I hope I can get a new yo-yo, like my friend Paul got for his birthday. I want one that lights up. That would be really cool.
Soon as we get in the mall, Mommy takes off my coat and takes me upstairs. Why? There's no good stores upstairs. It's all just boring stuff, like perfume and make-up and clothes. The good stores are downstairs. Downstairs there's a toy store and a movie store and a book store. So, why does Mommy want to take me upstairs?
Maybe we're gonna get pretzels. There's a nice man that sells soft pretzel by the elevator. He always puts a lot of salt on mine, cause I really like salty pretzels. But Mommy doesn't take me to get a pretzel.
Instead, she takes me to a store with a lot of black clothes inside it. Then she walks me over to a bench outside the store.
There's a lady on the bench.
And...she looks like Mommy!
Well, kinda.
But she really does look like me, only our eyes are a little different. Mine are light brown and her's are dark.
"Hey, kid" the lady says to me, waving a little.
I smile and wave back at her. Then I stop. Mommy always tells me not to talk to strangers.
But Mommy smiles and says, "Hello, Juno. This is Gabriel".
The lady, Juno, looks at me funny. She looks like she's gonna cry.
I don't like to see people crying, so I give her a hug. Hugs always make Mommy feel better. Maybe giving Juno a hug will make her feel better too. I think it worked, cause she's smiling now. She still looks like she's gonna cry, but since she's smiling, she has to be happy, right?
"So...how's life going for you?" she asks me, like I'm a really big kid.
I tell her all about everything. I tell her about how Uncle Mark sends us letters all the time and how one Christmas he dressed up like Santa and gave me my own guitar. I tell her about the time I kissed Jamie's cheek and found out that cooties don't make your lips turn purple and fall off. I tell her about when I got Rufus and how I want a mouse, so Rufus and the mouse can play together like Tom and Jerry. I tell her about Paul and his yo-yo and that I want one too. I tell her everything I can think of.
And when I finish, she looks like she's gonna cry again. Did I say something wrong?
But then she smiles and says, "Sounds wizard, kid. Real wizard".
Wizard? Like Merlin? Why did she say it sounded wizard?
I wanna ask her, but now she's talking to Mommy. When grown-ups talk, I'm not supposed to interrupt, Mommy says. That's really rude, to talk when someone else is talking. Mommy and Juno say good-bye and Juno looks at me.
"Been real, Gabe" she says. I smile at her.
"Wizard, right?" I call back to her, hoping I used the word right.
Juno smiles a little and says, "Yeah, real wizard".
And she leaves.
Mommy gives me my coat and I put it back on. When we're driving home I smile. Juno is really, really wizard.
Like Merlin.
Disclaimer: If I was Diablo Cody, I would own Juno. I'm not Diablo Cody, so what does this tell you?
And here's the end of the trilogy, told by little Gabriel Mark Loring. I hope you enjoyed these stories as much as I did.
